Does anyone else have this issue?

LegacyUser · 13-01-2009 01:02AM #1

I've read quite a few posts from men on this site who say they "wished women would just approach them." I havent had much experience relationship-wise and though it gets me down sometimes, I still don't have the confidence to approach men.

My way of thinking is, if they work up the confidence to come and talk to me, they must fancy me, and if we keep talking for the night then great we must like eachother. But for various reasons, I just feel like if I approached a guy he'd think "well she must like me because she approached me, and even though I wouldn't have picked her myself, she's grand and why turn down an opportunity. In short, they wouldn't particularly like me but they wouldn't turn down an "opportunity." I think I'd always have this niggling feeling of "would you have chosen me if I hadn't have come to you?"

I don't want to come across as generalising men, but it's just thoughts I have and sometimes I feel it holds me back and is making me miss out. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Is there any truth in it?

loloray · 13-01-2009 01:48AM

Omg I'm so glad someone else has said this. I totally am on the same level there.

The thing is; I believe that there should be no difference between the sexes - and that girls are mad for thinking they shouldn't approach men.

However when it comes down to it me personally, I might think a guy is attractive, but just not approach him - as then I reason the same as you - it seems most guys will try for 'whatever they can get' - and I don't wanna be the whatever - I wanna be the best!* I'm not sure if I am explaining this properly - I want a guy to go for me because I'm me - not because I'm female . . . .

Maybe it's a confidence issue.
Or maybe because I'm not interested in one-night stands and usually wouldn't even want to kiss anyone the first time I met them - so maybe that could be part of it - not wanting to seem 'up for it' when you're not?

Why did you go unreg for this though???

*I mean that in a way that I think every person should be with, and go for, the best in their eyes.

LegacyUser · 13-01-2009 01:55AM

Well OP I'm quite a shy guy when it comes to chatting up girls and have missed some good opportunities where girls were showing interest but I didn't make the approach. So sometimes I do wish girls would approach guys more .... but you make a good point; if a girl approached me I'd go for it if I liked her, she wouldn't have to be the girl I fancied the most in the club.

But hey maybe that'd still be better than both of us spending the night alone ? .....

Liam Byrne · 13-01-2009 02:02AM

Unreg1234r wrote: »

My way of thinking is, if they work up the confidence to come and talk to me, they must fancy me, and if we keep talking for the night then great we must like eachother. But for various reasons, I just feel like if I approached a guy he'd think "well she must like me because she approached me, and even though I wouldn't have picked her myself, she's grand and why turn down an opportunity. In short, they wouldn't particularly like me but they wouldn't turn down an "opportunity." I think I'd always have this niggling feeling of "would you have chosen me if I hadn't have come to you?"

Hang on a sec, OP......you've described a full - and to be fair, possible - scenario when you approach the guy, but only half the scenario for the reverse ?

Do you think women aren't capable of saying "well he must like me because he approached me, and even though I wouldn't have picked him myself,he's grand and why turn down an opportunity" ?

It's a two-way street. Guys don't want to be "second best" either.

Add in the fact that a guy might be sound about a girl approaching him, but there's loads of girls - not all, but definitely plenty - who would be VERY quick with a snide and bitchy put-down, and the end result is that it's MUCH harder for guys.

boarddotie · 13-01-2009 02:03AM

Yep, I hear u. I would think the same. But I dont think it is a confidence issue in ourselves-more like we dont have the confidence in our men to reject us if we are not up to their standard haha!

But I also feel like this: if a guy comes up talking to ME I usually dont talk back to them straight away as I think that they are just 'chancing' each and every girl with the same oneliners. But then if they try and catch my attention again or talk to me again I will respond as I feel more like they could genuinely be interested and I am not just another number. Because men talking to women is all Maths and probability. Chance 100 and surely 1 will say yes.

But in general most blokes skulk away after the first (faux) rejection...which is a pity!

PS I was caught out once when I let my guard down on above issue: Was in crowded pub at bar and this really cute guy came up and said hey. Normally I would just be like 'yeah whatever' and see if he made a 2nd approach (like a plane) but this time I said hey back. He said he was out on his own, knew nobody in the pub and was shy enough. Me (being nice) said 'ah come join me and my gang of friends' and as I turned around to lead him to my friends, there were his HUGE gang of friends behind us laughing hysterically and all like 'Hay John, howr u, didnt know you were out' etc etc. Setup. Felt like an absolute loser and a saddo for being so 'eager' and almost 'desperate'. So excuse me if I wait for the 2nd or even 3rd approaches! (sorry for going off point too) :pac:

Liam Byrne · 13-01-2009 02:09AM

boarddotie wrote: »

But in general most blokes skulk away after the first (faux) rejection...which is a pity!

AAAARGHHHH! Stupid mind-games and second-guessing again! :mad: How is the guy supposed to know that it's "faux" ???

It's tough enough for a guy to come over the first time......why should he be rejected twice ? OF COURSE he's going to leave you alone - going over again would leave him open to a normal, sound, non-game-playing girl to think he was a stalker and hassling her.

I'll talk to someone, and if they're not interested, that's their choice and their right - it's not a problem; I appreciate honesty. If they're snide and bitchy, bullet dodged.

If they pretend they're not interested, I won't know any different and I'll take their word for it too. Life's too short to play stupid childish games - whether it's for a one-nighter, a bit of fun, or something with potential, if you're interested and it's mutual then the two people can have fun - otherwise it's stupid.

Getting a guy to approach you twice is just a pathetic ego-boost, and I wouldn't give someone the satisfaction (and I'm WAY more reasonable about stuff like this than most of my mates).

Sorry, boarddotie, but if you play games like that you deserve to be left standing in a bar.

boarddotie · 13-01-2009 02:16AM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Getting a guy to approach you twice is just a pathetic ego-boost, and I wouldn't give someone the satisfaction (and I'm WAY more reasonable about stuff like this than most of my mates).

Sorry, boarddotie, but if you play games like that you deserve to be left standing in a bar.

I know it sounds bad but its not in reality. Im not talking about a fella approaching me, me rejecting and him walking away only to hope that he will walk over to me again. Its more subtle, more like a 'Hi, howr u?' from the guy and then if (pardon me) Im not all excited and seemingly desperate and 'HEY, YAY, WOW, IM GREAT, WOW' that me may at least try and another smile or something.

It does sound bad but there are too many guys out there who are only playing the numbers game on nights out and I would prefer to stand at bar on my own or do my own approaching than settle for a guy who has been chancing the arm off an octopus!

LegacyUser · 13-01-2009 02:20AM

So if a guy says hi to you at the bar you just ignore him?

hahaha ok good luck with that ......

Liam Byrne · 13-01-2009 02:24AM

boarddotie wrote: »

I know it sounds bad but its not in reality. Im not talking about a fella approaching me, me rejecting and him walking away only to hope that he will walk over to me again. Its more subtle, more like a 'Hi, howr u?' from the guy and then if (pardon me) Im not all excited and seemingly desperate and 'HEY, YAY, WOW, IM GREAT, WOW' that me may at least try and another smile or something.

OK, that's more understandable, but your original post did mention "faux rejection", which is completely different to - understandably - not immediately showing your hand. Hence my irritation, because that is definitely what came across from your post.

From your second post, I presume you'd at least say hi or whatever when he said it to you ? If not, he's going to walk - we've better things to do than talk to people - even on a friendly basis - that don't want us to. Also, bear in mind that while someone might look nice / cute / sexy from the other side of the bar, and that's what'd make us risk coming over, it's personality and craic and spark and sound-ness that'll make us stay. Standing there like a prat won't.

And BTW, if someone got that excited just coz I called over to say hi I'd run a mile! That's psycho / bunny-boiler territory!! :eek:

loloray · 13-01-2009 02:24AM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

It's a two-way street. Guys don't want to be "second best" either.

But really though - ok so no one wants to be second-best - however is it not true that if a guy is looking for 'his bit' (trying to think of a nice phrase there) then he'll just be happy with what he gets?

I KNOW that this is totally generalising, and I KNOW that lots of girls like to have one-night stands too.

However from my experience, I want get to know guys before I fancy them - at least have a conversation to see if this guy is attractive. Most guys I know/come across would definitely settle for me if they thought I was chatting them up and they were going to score me, but how many want to have a conversation knowing that it might not lead anywhere? I feel that if I approach guys, not only might they 'settle', but I might be leading them on, without intending to.

(Sorry if am vearing off topic, OP).

I agree with Boarddottie there btw, I don't think she meant it in the way that you took it up. I *think* she meant like that a chat-up line won't make her swoon - but if he takes a bit longer to have a conversation, then that could work.

loloray · 13-01-2009 02:25AM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

if someone got that excited just coz I called over to say hi I'd run a mile! That's psycho / bunny-boiler territory!! :eek:

made me lol

boarddotie · 13-01-2009 02:32AM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

OK, that's more understandable, but your original post did mention "faux rejection", which is completely different to - understandably - not immediately showing your hand. Hence my irritation, because that is definitely what came across from your post.

From your second post, I presume you'd say hi or whatever. And BTW, if someone got that excited just coz I called over to say hi I'd run a mile! That's psycho / bunny-boiler territory!! :eek:

Thats a good way of putting it-not showing the hand straight away especially if it is someone who you actually might value a conversation and more with.

loloray wrote: »

.

I agree with Boarddottie there btw, I don't think she meant it in the way that you took it up. I *think* she meant like that a chat-up line won't make her swoon - but if he takes a bit longer to have a conversation, then that could work.

Yep. And dont get me wrong if there is a really good and nice opening line that sounded like its not just a quick chat up line I would definitely respond positively!

Has anyone ever watched that program on Vh1 The Pick Up Artist? Well everything he teaches to the students od Pick Up Artistry is exactly CORRECT! And even though I have seen the prog, and know the lines and tricks and opening gambits as they call them I would defo fall for them. I would encourage any fella who wanted to approach girls to chaked it out on VH1 or youtube. Its excellent and the key lesson is that its not a numbers game, there are tricks the guys will pull out but its ultimately about making that one girl (even if she is fabublous and you are not) feel unique. (again off the point:pac:)

Liam Byrne · 13-01-2009 02:37AM

loloray wrote: »

However from my experience, I want get to know guys before I fancy them - at least have a conversation to see if this guy is attractive.

+1 (although reversed - definitely not guys!

:eek: )

loloray wrote: »

how many want to have a conversation knowing that it might not lead anywhere? I feel that if I approach guys, not only might they 'settle', but I might be leading them on, without intending to.

Been there with that one, too, loloray; often ended up having a great laugh and enjoying the night chatting with someone only for my mates to wander over and say "we're heading, are you in there" and I would genuinely not have thought that aspect through - a good night having the craic is a good night having the craic.

loloray wrote: »

I agree with Boarddottie there btw, I don't think she meant it in the way that you took it up. I *think* she meant like that a chat-up line won't make her swoon - but if he takes a bit longer to have a conversation, then that could work.

As I said, she mentioned "faux rejection", and that's why I reacted; if she meant less than that, then fair enough. You can't possibly say "yup, definitely on" without a conversation (and remember that during that conversation ye're both sussing each other out, that's also not one-way) and you can't "reject" without a conversation either (assuming you like the look of them and it is a "faux" rejection).

Liam Byrne · 13-01-2009 02:43AM

boarddotie wrote: »

Yep. And dont get me wrong if there is a really good and nice opening line that sounded like its not just a quick chat up line I would definitely respond positively!

OK, but....

boarddotie wrote: »

Has anyone ever watched that program on Vh1 The Pick Up Artist? Well everything he teaches to the students od Pick Up Artistry is exactly CORRECT! And even though I have seen the prog, and know the lines and tricks and opening gambits as they call them I would defo fall for them.

So - from earlier - if you think it's a prerehearsed pick-up line that he'll try on loads of girls, you wouldn't be interested, but you'd encourage him to learn the lines ? Now I'm definitely confused.

boarddotie wrote: »

I would encourage any fella who wanted to approach girls to chaked it out on VH1 or youtube. Its excellent and the key lesson is that its not a numbers game, there are tricks the guys will pull out but its ultimately about making that one girl (even if she is fabublous and you are not) feel unique. (again off the point:pac:)

Apart from the fact that having pre-rehearsed pick-up lines and "learning" from someone who thinks "picking up" would be done often enough to warrant learning it as a skill, I've got to say "ouch" at the bit that I bolded.......EVERYONE is unique and fabulous in their own way - the issue is whether 2 random people that meet will click and have something in common.

And while looks are a big part of attraction, the "click" and "things in common" are the other 2 major factors......you could think of it as the shamrock of meeting someone new.....

grizzly · 13-01-2009 02:50AM

Hi OP,

So you're sick of meeting sleazy/desperate men. It sounds like maybe your looking in the wrong places? If you approach a man in a club (I guess that this is what you're talking about). They're is going to be expectations on his part – way of the world. Maybe look somewhere else?

loloray · 13-01-2009 02:53AM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

EVERYONE is unique and fabulous in their own way - the issue is whether 2 random people that meet will click and have something in common.

+1 - that's the first thing I thought when I read her post.

stevelknievel · 13-01-2009 03:36AM

Boarddotie, I dunno if you're just not explaining yourself very well, but tbh if I approached you with anything from 'Hi' to 'What movie is this from? Nobody puts baby in the corner' and I got no response, I would just walk right by, regardless. I would just think that you are like the hundreds of other sickening tarts out there who think they're better than everyone else cos they got a big pair of tits. I'm not saying you are, but that's the impression I'd get. Anyhoo OP, believe it or not guys do have standards. No, really. If there is absolutely no attraction, we won't go home with you. Simple as that. Or maybe I'm naiive enough to tar all fellas with my own gentlemanly brush, I dunno. If you approach me and pull, then basically you didn't stand out enough from all the scantily clad women to make me want you originally. But there was probably something in your personality that got me. If you would say your not the best cos your not the best looking, then you could be right to worry. But most men aren't as shallow as you think we are. Sometimes though, on closer inspection, we spot something physical like a cute smile, or sexy eyes. I have often approached a group of women with one girl in mind, but as the night progresses, and as I talk to them that will change to the one with the better personality. Looks do matter of course, but the best looking woman won't get far if she's total bi*ch.

LegacyUser · 13-01-2009 02:27PM

OP here, thanks for the replies! They've given me a good insight, and I'm glad others have thought about this too!

LiamByrne to reply to your first post, I wrote the senario I did because I think it would be much more likely to happen than the reverse. Now the reverse does happen from time to time, but I think MUCH less frequently.

I agree with a lot of what loloray says, including that there should be no difference between the sexes.

In a perfect world, that would be the way but, today, it's not. Women are still expected to be more reserved than men when it comes to sexuality and one of the results of this is that many women wouldn't approach a man and would get lots more attention than a man would. So when men do get attention from a woman, they think, "She's nothing particularly special, but this way, I don't have to work at getting anyone, and who knows when this situation will happen again" so they go for it. They also don't have to worry about being judged. While I know we shouldn't care what people think, in reality it does hurt sometimes.

The way it is, if in a club a man was approached by several women in a club one night and was lapping up the attention from all of them, he'd probably be seen as a bit of a ladies man. But if a woman was approached by several men in a club and lapped it up with all of them, she'd most likely be seen as "desperate" or "up herself" "slutty", someone who "will take anyone who shows her a bit of attention" and a range of other negative things.

Again, loloray mentioned two other aspects that I fear, like not being genuinely wanted, just being "settled for," and coming across as "up for it."

From some of the posts here, it seems that if a girl approaches you in a club she's seen as up for it that night. This would rarely be the case for me, and I wouldn't want to be seen as leading anyone on.

Which leads me to grizzlybear and stevelknievel's posts, I'm not nescessarily "sick of finding desperate and sleazy guys," but I was wondering if I should start approaching guys myself, if I was being immature and old fashioned by not doing so, but is it true what you said in your posts that if a girl approached you, you would have "expectations?"

Thanks again

stevelknievel · 13-01-2009 05:06PM

At the start of a conversation with anyone, nobody expects anything. If we started flirting and getting on really well, which i assumed is what you meant by 'approach' then yeah, there would be a certain level of expectation of something. Not sex though. You can't expect sex when you are just talking to someone. As a rule I don't have sex on the first night. Don't get me wrong it has happened, but it's rare. I will try to go home with them, or bring them to my place. Spending the night with the girl is generally my aim. But spending the night does not mean sex. Most of the time though, I find the woman is expecting sex if you bring them home. And their always really disappointed and confused. Great way of getting inside their heads, making sure they remember you and normally sets up nicely for a second meeting.

smileykey · 13-01-2009 05:11PM

I guess i'm lucky in this respect in that I'm never attracted to someone purely on physicality so I never want to approach anyone that I haven't been talking to before.

Maybe if you just forgot about the illusive guys sitting at the bar and started with friends of friends of friends, like next time one of your friends is going out with her BF's friends you tag along and just get chatting to them, as friends, and meet some of their friends and i'm sure eventally you'll meet someone who you like in a more than friend way and slowly make subtle moves that can be brushed off if needs be but not too subtle that he doesn't notice

St Bill · 13-01-2009 06:28PM

OP, I think it's true that a man might view (general) you as an 'opportunity' instead of the best if you approach him in a niteclub. That however is the fault of the setting, it's got very little (or nothing) to do with how you look or how you act. On top of this, if you approach a man with the idea that you'd like him to be a boyfriend, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I figured out some years back that men are people too :pac: (will someone please think of the men

), your best bet is to talk to them with a view to just getting to know them. Nothing needs to come of it.

kingofthecastle · 13-01-2009 07:41PM

boarddotie wrote: »

Yep, I hear u. I would think the same. But I dont think it is a confidence issue in ourselves-more like we dont have the confidence in our men to reject us if we are not up to their standard haha!

But I also feel like this: if a guy comes up talking to ME I usually dont talk back to them straight away as I think that they are just 'chancing' each and every girl with the same oneliners. But then if they try and catch my attention again or talk to me again I will respond as I feel more like they could genuinely be interested and I am not just another number. Because men talking to women is all Maths and probability. Chance 100 and surely 1 will say yes.

But in general most blokes skulk away after the first (faux) rejection...which is a pity!

:pac:

if you looking for a guy who you've bacsically rejected to come back for the possibility of a second rejection then i'm sorry but you'll be waiting. not many blokes have that little respect for themselves that they will leave themselves open to be rejected twice by the same woman. if a bloke approaches you, then it means he likes you, he may have tried other women but then do you expect us to give up if we are turnmed down by the first wowman we chat up on a night out. get real!

Liam Byrne · 13-01-2009 07:49PM

Unreg1234r wrote: »

LiamByrne to reply to your first post, I wrote the senario I did because I think it would be much more likely to happen than the reverse. Now the reverse does happen from time to time, but I think MUCH less frequently.

Any chance that's because women don't approach men as much, so therefore it's a novelty ?

Only women can solve that conundrum - make it less of a novelty!

Unreg1234r wrote: »

Women are still expected to be more reserved than men when it comes to sexuality

Nope - at least, not in my book.

Unreg1234r wrote: »

So when some* men do get attention from a woman, they think, "She's nothing particularly special, but this way, I don't have to work at getting anyone, and who knows when this situation will happen again" so they go for it.

*The bit in bold added by me; not intended as a misquote - I just couldn't think of a better way of correcting the sentence, since there was nothing to strikethrough.

Also, you're leaving out one very important aspect. Having a woman talk to you might be a novelty, but - identical to what would happen in the reverse scenario - it's the conversation and craic and "click" that follows that might cause it to lead somewhere; some of us men are a little choosier and don't simply "take what's on offer" - we're not still pathetic cavemen!

Unreg1234r wrote: »

The way it is, if in a club a man was approached by several women in a club one night and was lapping up the attention from all of them, he'd probably be seen as a bit of a ladies man. But if a woman was approached by several men in a club and lapped it up with all of them, she'd most likely be seen as "desperate" or "up herself" "slutty", someone who "will take anyone who shows her a bit of attention" and a range of other negative things.

How do you make that out ? If she's been chatted up by the second, third, etc, guy, then she didn't go off with the first one, therefore she's not a slut. If she snogged or went off with them all and then came back for the next, yeah, but from what you've said, no.

Unreg1234r wrote: »

Again, loloray mentioned two other aspects that I fear, like not being genuinely wanted, just being "settled for," and coming across as "up for it."

And what makes you think that normal, sound men don't think the exact same thing ?

Unreg1234r wrote: »

is it true what you said in your posts that if a girl approached you, you would have "expectations?"

Well, is it true that if a guy approached you, you'd have "expectations" and assume he was on for it regardless of how the conversation went ? You seem to think that way. And therein lies the problem. You're saying that you would want to approach a guy without committing to "something happening", but you don't seem to even acknowledge that the reverse is also true.

Fact is, there are slutty guys and girls out there who will take anything that's on offer, and there are also plenty decent ones who'll have the craic and see how things go.

Just as I could approach a good-looking girl only to find out she's no craic, or not my type, or even a b**ch (or I might only think that, because she tried the "faux rejection" method), you could equally approach a guy only to find that he thinks like you're currently projecting that he will think.

But not everyone is the same.

Approach someone, talk to them, and then if you want to, flirt with them; we're not fragile children and can appreciate having a laugh and meeting someone new. And bear in mind that while it might be a laugh talking to you, we mightn't fancy you enough to head off with you for the night; that's not being lousy, it's a fact of life.

It's a two-way street, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Best of luck!

DeCoR18 · 13-01-2009 08:10PM

OK heres my experience.

I don't do clubs. I've been to a club about 5 times in my life.

Was in one on a college night out, was ordering a drink at the bar, two girls were staring at me, I didn't take any notice, they then came over to me and said hey etc etc, I was very suprised/flattered as that had never happened before, I talked to them, introduced them to the guys and girls from college I was with, was attracted to one of them but didn't persue it as I had a girlfriend at the time, even though I wanted to, she ended up talking to one of the lads I was with.

All in all a nice experience.

Heres the problem, I consider myself a nice person and always try to be mannerly/courteous to people etc. I've never approached a girl in a night out situation and after the above experience it would take alot for me to want to.

Why? Because I've seen girls reactions to guys talking to them and its disgusting! Rarely have I seen somebody who wasn't told to **** off or laughed at or whatever. So basically I think far too much of myself for some skank to have a feeling of superiority to me and if the consequences are loneliness due to this approach I'd gladly take it.

LegacyUser · 13-01-2009 08:19PM

Please OP, please approach us guys!!! I know where your coming from as many of my friends are those guys who will chat up 20 girls a night and if a girl was to chat to them they would more than likely take advantage and get what they can out of it. I sometimes wonder if they have standards at all! I on the other hand, like many other men, am the complete opposite. More often than not I go home alone on a night out. If I saw a girl I fancied or she just happened to take my eye I would never approach her in a club simply because I am far too shy, I wouldnt know what to say. After "hi" id be out of ideas, I just amnt able to chat women up. However, a quick glance at my inbox and its full of "Im crazy about you", "your such a lovely guy" etc texts from female admirers. These are women that I just meet through work or friends that I get to know over time and I havent led any of them on, they just seem to fall for me because I am genuinly a nice guy. I wouldnt take advantage of any of these women just for a quickie and would only return the interest with someone I was actually attracted to. Now I could be in a club and be the man of your dreams but we may never meet because I know I amnt gonna say hi to you even if I thought you were the best looking person in the place (if anything that would probably be more of a reason for me not to talk to you) so unless we had mutual friends to make the introduction or you approached me than I know I'll be going home alone again and you could be too.

abi2007 · 13-01-2009 08:29PM

I have to say I would vary rarely chat a guy up, however I would make it clear that I liked him.. eye contact, smiles etc so he knows i'm interested. I just think men should do the chasing and I find if women chase men get put off.. but's thats just from my personal experiance. I'd also never take a guys number (he takes mine) nor would I ask him out on a date. Game playing maybe but thats the way i like it to be.

abi2007 · 13-01-2009 08:34PM

DeCoR18 wrote: »

Because I've seen girls reactions to guys talking to them and its disgusting! Rarely have I seen somebody who wasn't told to **** off or laughed at or whatever. So basically I think far too much of myself for some skank to have a feeling of superiority to me and if the consequences are loneliness due to this approach I'd gladly take it.

TBH i've only seen girls have this attitude towards the men that go around the club trying it on with every girl in the place.. you know the sort.

Surely most girls wouldn't be like that normally?

ElStuardo · 13-01-2009 08:48PM

The problem with randomly approaching girls without hesitation is you have to have the " I dont give a f*** factor if she laughs or makes fun".But most blokes dont have that so shy away from making a random approach.Its girls that do laugh or belittle someone who happens to strike up a conversation with them thinking they are attractive that puts most nice guys off.
I have a friend who will approach a girl be all loud and kinda Im Mr Party attitude and it seems to work ,where as a quiet friend of mine might start a conversation normally and not be all in your face and girls do Laugh or kinda do the whole " Yeah Whatever thing " to see does he try again ,but he doesnt cause he feels stupid.
Personally Ive no problem chatting to girls or trying to start up a conversation but wont try a second time if the first approach doesnt work,not worth the humiliation the second time.

DeCoR18 · 13-01-2009 08:52PM

abi2007 wrote: »

TBH i've only seen girls have this attitude towards the men that go around the club trying it on with every girl in the place.. you know the sort.

Surely most girls wouldn't be like that normally?

Theres lots of reasons for the reactions I talked about. One would be, alot of girls seem to want to just have fun with their friends like even having men in the building is putting a downer on the atmosphere never mind being approached by them.

A general feeling by women under 30 in this country that they are superior to men in every way.

Period?

Purely from being unattracted to the person approaching them.

DeCoR18 · 13-01-2009 08:58PM

ElStuardo wrote: »

The problem with randomly approaching girls without hesitation is you have to have the " I dont give a f*** factor if she laughs or makes fun".But most blokes dont have that so shy away from making a random approach.

They're right too, why would someone want to belittle themselves in such a manner?

The people that don't care are the ones to look out for as they are the STI/D spreading scumbags.

abi2007 · 13-01-2009 09:00PM

Hey man if you really feel that way you must be approaching the wrong kind of women or maybe going to the wrong pubs or clubs. I really dont think all women are like that. I hang out with a really nice group of girls all pretty too and i know they love it when men chat them up... I do agree there are some girls that can be rude but I dont think they are the majority

Does anyone else have this issue?

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