sleaziest thing you ever did

scottledeuce · 07-01-2009 06:31PM #1

Inspired by the best lie ever told thread it got me thinking of a few memorable moments which mostly seemed to mostly involve the opposite sex and well there not exactly a lie if nobody finds out so I figure'd I'd post mine here.

In College there was this girl 2 door's down who I always noticed going to college at the same time as me the odd morning,
anyway after inviting myself to a house party there one night and making her acquaintance I used to give her a lift the odd morning when I'd see her walking.

As it happens she had, what can only be described as circus tits and when you're only out of bed navigating speed bumps these are the last things you need beside you early in the morning.:D

Anyway curiosity got the better of me and I decided I wanted a go on them put the following plan into action
There was a set of traffic lights at the end of a long stretch of road on the way to college and they were pretty much guaranteed to change by the time you got to them,
i.e. if they were red they would probably turn green when you got to them and vice versa.
Eventually this gets quite predictable and you can pretty much tell depending on when they last changed weather or not they would change by the time you got to them.

Now this is where it gets a bit sleazy...

Next morning she is in the car, I'm watching the lights and my speed like usual making small talk as you do, coming up to the light's there is a halting site and I pointed out some neglected looking pony and the cruelty of it all when SH*T!!!!!

In all my not paying attention, that light that was green just turned red and so I need to slam on the brakes hard and fast.....at the same time her breast slams hard and fast into my innocently positioned hand :eek::eek: and I get a perfect two seconds of breast to hand contact plus minor points for trying to protect her in the event of a crash......:cool::cool::cool:

Too far...maybe but I was 18 at the time and I did try again and fail

deleriumtremens · 07-01-2009 06:35PM

niiiice!!

Theresalwaysone · 07-01-2009 06:35PM

haha All that for a bit of tit? Really? I applaud your work ethic/problem solving skills and all but surely just cracking on to her wouldve proven more successful?

I hope ya put that much effort into everything ya do.

tba · 07-01-2009 06:37PM

what the hell are circus tits?

Get In There · 07-01-2009 06:38PM

i lol-ed!

DublinWriter · 07-01-2009 06:41PM

scottledeuce wrote: »

In all my not paying attention, that light that was green just turned red and so I need to slam on the brakes hard and fast.....at the same time her breast slams hard and fast into my innocently positioned hand :eek::eek: and I get a perfect two seconds of breast to hand contact plus minor points for trying to protect her in the event of a crash......:cool::cool::cool:

...and there was I wondering why motor insurance is so expensive in this country.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 07-01-2009 06:44PM

scottledeuce wrote: »

In College there was this girl [...] and fail

I read that story before in a book, I smell shenanigans.

whiskeyman · 07-01-2009 06:46PM

tba wrote: »

what the hell are circus tits?

Circus because you need a Big Top?

Tits you like to clown around with?

scottledeuce · 07-01-2009 06:52PM

Theresalwaysone wrote: »

haha All that for a bit of tit? Really? I applaud your work ethic/problem solving skills and all but surely just cracking on to her wouldve proven more successful?

I hope ya put that much effort into everything ya do.

No man she was way hotter than me

DublinWriter wrote: »

...and there was I wondering why motor insurance is so expensive in this country.

A good rack will take a bit out of your pocket too

Nora Happy Skillet wrote: »

I read that story before in a book, I smell shenanigans.

Correct son...I'm not taking credit for the idea I just said It's probably the sleaziest thing I done

AnonoBoy · 07-01-2009 06:54PM

I opened this thread expecting some full on sleaziness worthy of Tucker Max or the like. But slamming on your brakes to grope a girl's tit for half a second?

Disappointing to say the least.

I've decided not to share my story now.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 07-01-2009 06:54PM

scottledeuce wrote: »

Correct son...I'm not taking credit for the idea I just said It's probably the sleaziest thing I done

Fair enough.

BTW, the act itself really wasn't cool. I wouldn't boast about it so readily if I was you.

consultech · 07-01-2009 06:56PM

Nora Happy Skillet wrote: »

I read that story before in a book, I smell shenanigans.

haha truth fail.

Fizman · 07-01-2009 06:56PM

tba wrote: »

what the hell are circus tits?

http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/images/americasgottalent/season2/talent6807_32tetas.jpg

TestTransmission · 07-01-2009 06:56PM

scottledeuce wrote: »

Inspired by the best lie ever told thread it got me thinking of a few memorable moments which mostly seemed to mostly involve the opposite sex and well there not exactly a lie if nobody finds out so I figure'd I'd post mine here.

In College there was this girl 2 door's down who I always noticed going to college at the same time as me the odd morning,
anyway after inviting myself to a house party there one night and making her acquaintance I used to give her a lift the odd morning when I'd see her walking.

As it happens she had, what can only be described as circus tits and when you're only out of bed navigating speed bumps these are the last things you need beside you early in the morning.:D

Anyway curiosity got the better of me and I decided I wanted a go on them put the following plan into action
There was a set of traffic lights at the end of a long stretch of road on the way to college and they were pretty much guaranteed to change by the time you got to them,
i.e. if they were red they would probably turn green when you got to them and vice versa.
Eventually this gets quite predictable and you can pretty much tell depending on when they last changed weather or not they would change by the time you got to them.

Now this is where it gets a bit sleazy...

Next morning she is in the car, I'm watching the lights and my speed like usual making small talk as you do, coming up to the light's there is a halting site and I pointed out some neglected looking pony and the cruelty of it all when SH*T!!!!!

In all my not paying attention, that light that was green just turned red and so I need to slam on the brakes hard and fast.....at the same time her breast slams hard and fast into my innocently positioned hand :eek::eek: and I get a perfect two seconds of breast to hand contact plus minor points for trying to protect her in the event of a crash......:cool::cool::cool:

Too far...maybe but I was 18 at the time and I did try again and fail

You're still a virgin arent you

Craft25 · 07-01-2009 06:58PM

did you actually get something out of a girls tit touching your hand for half a second..

you should tell that in the pub, u might get a pity shag!

MIN2511 · 07-01-2009 06:59PM

Mine is today in the library... accidentally(NOT) fell into this hawt guys arms... And he caught me-my friends have been calling me sleazy since

AnonoBoy · 07-01-2009 07:01PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

Mine is today in the library... accidentally(NOT) fell into this hawt guys arms... And he caught me-my friends have been calling me sleazy since

Here - send this link to your friends. They seem to be struggling with ze eengleesshh.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sleazy

scottledeuce · 07-01-2009 07:09PM

Nora Happy Skillet wrote: »

Fair enough.

BTW, the act itself really wasn't cool. I wouldn't boast about it so readily if I was you.

Craft25 wrote: »

did you actually get something out of a girls tit touching your hand for half a second..

you should tell that in the pub, u might get a pity shag!

Well of course there is nothing you can get out of it apart from a childish high five from your mates when you get home (which was worth it) and I'm not really boasting more or less reminiscing about the lengths a horny teen would think is normal to go to cop a feel.

Ohh and whats wrong with being a virgin anyway:p

Duiske · 07-01-2009 07:11PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

my friends have been calling me sleazy since

Perhaps what your friends should have been calling you ?

Berty · 07-01-2009 07:17PM

A couple of work colleagues and I were drinking at a conference and one girl was wearing a top giving her massive cleavage which eventually turned into the main conversation. We wanted to get a better look and suggested she popped another button.

She eventually did with the help of the other girl next to her

:eek::) and said "Are you happy now"

I said as the noise in the bar disappeared as though a comedy sketch "Yes, thank you Im quite aroused now".

Its ok now. She knows I look at her tits. They are nice tits. She knows for this reason I am sleazy but I keep telling her its a compliment to her that I ogle them and call them mamories. She hates that word which is more the reason to say it to her.

I wouldnt sleep with her though to get near them. Shes not very good looking but a quick fondle of her tits would be nice.

Just one squeeze.

antodeco · 07-01-2009 07:18PM

In fairness

MIN2511 · 07-01-2009 07:20PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Here - send this link to your friends. They seem to be struggling with ze eengleesshh.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sleazy

Duiske wrote: »

Perhaps what your friends should have been calling you ?

Hahahaha

MIN2511 · 07-01-2009 07:23PM

Whats the big deal with guys and tits?

lee_arama · 07-01-2009 07:23PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

Mine is today in the library... accidentally(NOT) fell into this hawt guys arms... And he caught me-my friends have been calling me sleazy since

It's only sleazy if you'd need rohypnol to land the guy; if you've the looks that he'd come back for seconds after a night of bedroom olympics then it's merely flirting.

lee_arama · 07-01-2009 07:37PM

Min: I think it's more teenagers and tits, since most older guys will prefer a more manageable pair of breasts than the ones you see in Nuts and the like.

I'm a leg man myself.

Berty · 07-01-2009 08:01PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

Whats the big deal with guys and tits?

Huh, women like dicks so why should men be different for liking boobs.

Im more an ass man anyway.

rizzla · 07-01-2009 08:27PM

Banana Bar in Amsterdam is where the sleaziest things in my life have happened.

Caught an illuminious dildo that was shot out of a girls fanny.

Ate a banana from a girls fanny, which she strangley put a condom on?!?

That whole city is sleaze and I love it.

bleg · 07-01-2009 09:14PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

Whats the big deal with guys and tits?

it's evolutionary. women with big tits are more likely to be able to produce more milk and sustain offspring better.

long legs indicate that the woman has has a healthy upbringing as a child.

Kiera · 07-01-2009 09:23PM

Let me get this straight. You were willing to cause an accident with the cars behind you all for a titty feel? Its a shame personal abuse isn't allowed on boards!

Zzippy · 07-01-2009 09:56PM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Just goes to show how great minds think alike. At the same time!!1!

And fools seldom differ...

antodeco · 07-01-2009 09:58PM

Do Ryanair fly to Amsterdam?

sleaziest thing you ever did

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