Asking someone out. Text or Call?

indieJones · 04-01-2009 03:38PM #1

It's probably been done before but screw it. This may influence what I do this afternoon. What is your preferred method to ask or be asked and why?

A brief synopsis of the pros and cons (IMO)

text: Casual, quick, gives time to think of appropriate replies in conversation, easier to ask, easier to reject.

call: More personal, can get more across (good and bad), more awkward if someone wants to say no, shows confidence, might catch someone at a bad time.

Beruthiel · 04-01-2009 03:39PM

Texting is for 14 year olds and wimps.

impr0v · 04-01-2009 03:39PM

Text is the chicken's way out.

Sharpshooter · 04-01-2009 03:44PM

indieJones wrote: »

It's probably been done before but screw it. This may influence what I do this afternoon. What is your preferred method to ask or be asked and why?

A brief synopsis of the pros and cons (IMO)

text: Casual, quick, gives time to think of appropriate replies in conversation, easier to ask, easier to reject.

call: More personal, can get more across (good and bad), more awkward if someone wants to say no, shows confidence, might catch someone at a bad time.

Why the phone at all ?

What's wrong with asking someone , face to face.

CiaranC · 04-01-2009 03:46PM

Texting is for children

funloving · 04-01-2009 03:49PM

CiaranC wrote: »

Texting is for children

but when you are asked out with a text you can always say you didnt get the text,you had no credit to reply etc...

I prefer the phonecall or the carrier pigeon

oztots · 04-01-2009 03:49PM

Texting is handy, but i'd prefer to ask them myself face to face.

Failing that a call, so i vote call her/him.

abi2007 · 04-01-2009 03:50PM

+1 pigeon

Xavi6 · 04-01-2009 03:51PM

Bebo them

Mossy Monk · 04-01-2009 03:52PM

Get a friend to ask for you.

gerky · 04-01-2009 03:54PM

CiaranC wrote: »

Texting is for children

Snyper?

funloving · 04-01-2009 03:54PM

Mossy Monk wrote: »

Get a friend to ask for you.

Id never date a guy if he asked his friend to invite me on his behalf....

JC 2K3 · 04-01-2009 03:54PM

It doesn't really matter if she likes you. If she's unsure then it's easier for her to reject you by text than by phone or face to face.

I think it's rather condescending to look down on people for asking others out by text, however. It's just an alternate method of communication. It shouldn't be used to shy away from face to face interaction, but if this isn't the case and it's convenient, then I don't see what the problem is.

muboop1 · 04-01-2009 04:02PM

indieJones wrote: »

It's probably been done before but screw it. This may influence what I do this afternoon. What is your preferred method to ask or be asked and why?

A brief synopsis of the pros and cons (IMO)

text: Casual, quick, gives time to think of appropriate replies in conversation, easier to ask, easier to reject.

call: More personal, can get more across (good and bad), more awkward if someone wants to say no, shows confidence, might catch someone at a bad time.

how well do you know the person?
do you have a relationship with them as a friend or what?

if they are a friend you commonly call, then call, would be weird to suddenly do otherwise. if your relationship is basically just texting, mabey a text?

honestly id likely go with the call regardless, but i know last girl i asked out, i done it by text because i found it easier/im a bottler. my logic was i hadnt a clue if she was realy into me, so i text, that way she wouldnt feel pressured, as i wouldnt require an answer straight away and she had time to think about it! and having said that the girl i was going for was also a quiet shy girl, so made sense to not put any pressure on her

id almost be a fan of texting for the reason that you dont pressure them.

judge it yourself! is she is outspoken etc, call her!
if she is quiet etc id text.

Professey Chin · 04-01-2009 04:05PM

Neither. You kidnap them making sure they dont see you, put on a fake voice telling them theyre gonna die. Then bring them to where you were gonna bring them out to and reveal it was all a fake and theyre not gonna die. Theyll either be so relieved youll get a date or so angry youll have to actually kill them.

Very effective and I dont speak from experience.................well recent experience anyway

consultech · 04-01-2009 04:06PM

Pass them a note with "yes", "no" and "maybe" boxes. It's the way it's been done since the beginning of time.

In all seriousness asking someone out is best done in person, WHEN you're out/in their company, if at all possible. I know this isn't always possible, but asking as an afterthought of invitation to something you are already planning to do (you already have a life) is the most effective. i.e. Natural conversation -> "I'm dying to see that new Australia film..." -> "Actually do you wanna go see it tomorrow?" You set yourself at a naturally worse footing if the whole event is "about them" - i.e. Bringing them to dinner etc. on first date.

Mena · 04-01-2009 04:09PM

Beruthiel wrote: »

Texting is for 14 year olds and wimps.

I'm far too old to not agree with this line of thinking. Grow a pair would be my only other advise.

Mimikyu · 04-01-2009 04:15PM

This post has been deleted.

Fizman · 04-01-2009 04:15PM

Get a mate of yours to chat to one of her mates and suss out the situation (is she interested, does she like anal, etc). That way you can save face if she isn't into anal.

I mean seriously, who would go out with somebody who isn't into anal? :pac:

peanuthead · 04-01-2009 04:15PM

Text is the most popular way, definitely. But my bf asked me out by firstly asking a mutual friend of ours for my number, so when the friend asked me "Is it okay if I give XX your number?" To which I replied, yeah!!

So I suppose for my bf, he knew I was interested before he asked. But I was expecting a text, but got a phonecall instead!! That has always been his way of doing things, the direct approach. Not mine. It felt a bit strange for me at first, but I have to say it was really impressive imo for him to call someone he only met once, briefly, and ask them out over the phone.

2years on and I still think he's great!

So I would say, phone her.

glasgowghirl · 04-01-2009 04:21PM

Text definitely. It's better for both parties. Gives you more time to think of a gentle let down if you don't wanna go and less awkward if you're the one being turned down. And if the answer is yes, you can both jump around the living room in delight, whilst appearing cool on the outside. Perfect.;)

samhail · 04-01-2009 04:33PM

Just create a new thread in AH and send them a link ?

beertons · 04-01-2009 04:38PM

In person. If you can't say it to her face, don't bother.

I did like the kidnap suggestion though. Unique, but getting popular.

senordingdong · 04-01-2009 04:42PM

Beruthiel wrote: »

Texting is for 14 year olds and wimps.

Ah that's not fair.
What if he's really shy?

Or what if he is a whimp, then what should he do?

cork1 · 04-01-2009 04:49PM

for the first date call. after that who cares as long as you get the message across. i think it matter alot more how you act on the date.

tallaght01 · 04-01-2009 05:35PM

Text, definitely.

Coz you can send the same one to a few birds at once.

Sparky · 04-01-2009 06:29PM

Phone tbh

Trouble with texts is they have no tone. Anyone could pick it up the wrong way.

Txting is for kids

04-01-2009 08:23PM

Text because if you call you put them on the spot and it isn't really very fair.

georgem25 · 04-01-2009 08:31PM

Phone or in person. Texting is impersonnel and for kids.

Nothingcompares · 04-01-2009 08:36PM

I say Text, but I could be just a wimp. I hate talking to people on the phone, I'd rather text them and arrange to meet them in person then talk int o a ****ing mobile phone handset and ring them while they're driving, working, doing something. I wouldn't have thought the method would really matter if the girl is interested. On the other hand, maybe by ringing some lass and you do put her on the spot she might find it difficult to say "no, no way, no thanks".

towel401 · 04-01-2009 08:38PM

Xavi6 wrote: »

Bebo them

Where's the 'thumbs down' button on this?

Asking someone out. Text or Call?

Asking/Being asked out? Preferred method 89 votes

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