I can't wait until I start having babies!

shreksaurus · 19-12-2008 10:57PM #1

I can't wait until I start having babies. Have you ever noticed while out shopping that poeple with babies use their prams as weapons, pushing their way through the crowds and taking the legs of people. I'll cause some damage when I get a pram.

Is there anything that all you boardies hate about shopping.

(I'm new. I've been a follower of boards for a short time and just joined up to night.).

Delirium · 19-12-2008 11:05PM

You do realise you can buy a pram without having a baby, they don't look for a baby at the checkout counter.;):P

marbar · 19-12-2008 11:06PM

danger!

Niall09 · 19-12-2008 11:06PM

hmm..you do realise that you're a man, right?*

*may not be true

MagicMarker · 19-12-2008 11:07PM

Yeah, just put a sack of potatoes in the pram, costs less and more useful than a baby. The to freak people out you can push the pram into the path of an oncoming car in the car park, all the while scream ''DIE BABY!!!! (potatoes)''

marbar · 19-12-2008 11:08PM

where are you going to keep the fetus, in a box??!!

RxQueen · 19-12-2008 11:16PM

people with prams do annoy me! or people walking really fooking slow , arrrrgh

Loopy · 19-12-2008 11:23PM

MagicMarker wrote: »

Yeah, just put a sack of potatoes in the pram, costs less and more useful than a baby. The to freak people out you can push the pram into the path of an oncoming car in the car park, all the while scream ''DIE BABY!!!! (potatoes)''

or leave the carrie-tot part on the roof of the car and take off at high speed

noel farrell · 19-12-2008 11:30PM

one thing that really annoyes me two girls yapping two half burned fags in their gobs push the pram out to stop the traffic no warning :rolleyes:

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 20-12-2008 12:11AM

shreksaurus wrote: »

Is there anything that all you boardies hate about shopping.

Other people. :mad:

useful_contacts · 20-12-2008 12:23AM

shreksaurus wrote: »

I can't wait until I start having babies.

if your under 28 im gonna beat u up

shreksaurus wrote: »

Have you ever noticed while out shopping that poeple with babies use their prams as weapons, pushing their way through the crowds and taking the legs of people. I'll cause some damage when I get a pram.

Do what i do- when they try to nudge their way past u stand where u are and say out loud "OMG am i in your way, how dare i have the nerve to try walk the streets while you push the pram of the child you most likley concieved on a one night stand... How dare i... please pass your majesity!!"

Normally shuts them up(AND YES I KNOW NOT ALL BABYS ARE FROM ONE NIGHT STANDS ITS CALLED A JOKE.. IN MY TOWN MOTHERS THINK THEY OWN THE STREET)

shreksaurus wrote: »

(I'm new. I've been a follower of boards for a short time and just joined up to night.).

Its about bloody time... welcome:)

R.D. aka MR.D · 20-12-2008 12:46AM

i'm angry just reading this!!!!

who do these people think they are! one took a chunk out of my ankle once!:mad:

LEAVE IT (the baby) AT HOME!!!!
as an alternative get a smaller one! or even stop thinking that you are entitled to injure people!

i also hate people who while queuing near a shelf won't allow you to access that shelf!

for the love of god! i'm not trying to teal your precious place in the queue!!!!!

Ruu_Old · 20-12-2008 12:49AM

Just use the shopping trolley. Metal > plasticy babby prams. Muhahaha! "Didn't see you there sorry!" Those twin or triple buggies are a terror in the shopping aisles! ;_;

Dun laoire · 20-12-2008 12:51AM

koth wrote: »

You do realise you can buy a pram without having a baby, they don't look for a baby at the checkout counter.;):P

I know a woman who keeps fish in a pram.

useful_contacts · 20-12-2008 12:53AM

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

LEAVE IT (the baby) AT HOME!!!!

MARRY ME*

*I May not mean it ... get back to me

Trinity · 20-12-2008 12:57AM

I'm a pram pusher and i have to say those of you with no prams are lazy fcukers. When playing chicken with me do you not realise how easy it is for you to step to the side in a single movement to let me by, rather than me have to manoveure a whole bleeding pram possibly laden with shopping to get out of your way. :mad:

I've never taken the ankles off anyone yet but then i do have a full driving license

but walking through town one day with another lady with a pram an grumpy old bollix about 90 told me if we insist on having kids we should walk in single file with the prams, cheeky fcuk was like a tortoise should have been in a wheel chair and saved his shaky little legs the trouble holding everyone up. Least i walk fast when i have something to hold onto like a pram :P

newmills · 20-12-2008 12:59AM

Yeah it's sh1te when i'm trying to get past someone in a shop with the pram, and you say sorry or excuse me, and the gremlin in your way looks at you like you have actually asked them to physically move 1 foot. I normally don't bother asking and just bull through taking clothes racks, shelves, ankles, other small kids, plants, trolleys or anything else that is in my may. Very sorry to all you people who are in la la land when I need to get past - pram or not.

themadchef · 20-12-2008 01:36AM

shreksaurus wrote: »

I can't wait until I start having babies.

Is there anything that all you boardies hate about shopping.

1. careful what ya wish for

2. parting with my hard earned cash.

Peyton Manning · 20-12-2008 01:38AM

My ex was one of the most maternal girls Ive ever met. She would always tell strangers how cute their baby was, which is a lie because babies are about as cute as a severe case of athletes foot. She'd often stop babies from crying on the bus, which was fine and all, but damn did she get some weird looks during the whole Madeleine McCann fiasco. Which is strange, because she looks nothing like Kate McCann.

Dardania · 20-12-2008 10:00AM

marbar wrote: »

where are you going to keep the fetus, in a box??!!

thats typically where feotie start off...

Overheal · 20-12-2008 10:09AM

I pity the guy you manage to bring home - he'll take a wrong turn looking for the loo and find the closet full of prams and bottles you've got waiting.

Terpsichore · 20-12-2008 10:55AM

shreksaurus wrote: »

I can't wait until I start having babies. quote]

Why wait? Good toy stores have very realistic babies replicas. Congratulations!

kelle · 20-12-2008 11:26AM

When I get the chance to go out shopping on my own, I am only too happy to move out of the way for any incoming traffic i.e.prams, because I understand only too well how difficult it is for mothers to try and manoeuvre those cumbersome pieces of equipment usually weighed down by bags of shopping and a baby/toddler in situ who gets unsettled if the pram/buggy remains stationary for 2 seconds. 99 times out of 100, these mothers are apologetic and express their appreciation for giving up 2 seconds of your life to take a little sidestep and then move back to where you were originally. To those of you that find this difficult - just grow up!

hot2def · 20-12-2008 11:32AM

marbar wrote: »

where are you going to keep the fetus, in a box??!!

"Where's the fetus going to gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?"

Berty · 20-12-2008 11:35AM

Trinity1 wrote: »

rather than me have to manoveure a whole bleeding pram possibly laden with shopping to get out of your way. :mad:

Where do you keep the child?

hot2def · 20-12-2008 11:35AM

if people choose to have kids, I shan't weep about how tough they find everything afterwards. totally not my problem.

Berty · 20-12-2008 11:41AM

Having a pram/buggy is brilliant. You can stop in the middle of an aisle in a shop, turn it sideways so nobody can get past and stroll away leaving the ugly brat smelling of sh*t blocking up the shop.

You can also stop traffic. Just walk into traffic and put your pram/buggy right in front of the oncoming traffic. Surely it will stop. I wont actually. I will go out of my way not to let them across.

It is also ok during the Christmas scrum in the cities to walk along with a buggy with the child walking next to it holding on to the side meaning the buggy is worthless and your ugly child is causing chaos.

Also, I do not like your ugly child sitting there in the pram buggy looking at me. I may just have to call child services.

Having a pram/buggy you can easily push your way through park cars whilst bending back mirrors and scraping cars. When you return to your car its also acceptable to open your door right onto my car door and squeeze your stinking brat into your SUV with no regard for my paintwork.

AAHHH I hate all of you with children. I like children. I just hate YOURS.

sebastianlieken · 20-12-2008 11:45AM

Trinity1 wrote: »

I'm a pram pusher and i have to say those of you with no prams are lazy fcukers. When playing chicken with me do you not realise how easy it is for you to step to the side in a single movement to let me by, rather than me have to manoveure a whole bleeding pram possibly laden with shopping to get out of your way. :mad:

I've never taken the ankles off anyone yet but then i do have a full driving license but walking through town one day with another lady with a pram an grumpy old bollix about 90 told me if we insist on having kids we should walk in single file with the prams, cheeky fcuk was like a tortoise should have been in a wheel chair and saved his shaky little legs the trouble holding everyone up. Least i walk fast when i have something to hold onto like a pram :P

it's the non pram pushers that are lazy fcukers?? i totally disagree!

there we are walking around from A to B using our legs like suckers, while your little kid is there having a nap, being pushed around, in PJs, whith a nice bottle of milk or some malarky...lazy sod. get the little yoke up off his arse and make him walk! too young you say? make him crawl along beside ya, get the grit in his palms...build some character in the little fella.

what a legend of a 90 year old, that man, that man has a vision i tell ya!

disclaimer: not intended to offend in the slightest, just a typical AH response. I dont want a bunch of women in mammy wagons comin after me

Trinity · 20-12-2008 11:50AM

sebastianlieken wrote: »

it's the non pram pushers that are lazy fcukers?? i totally disagree!

there we are walking around from A to B using our legs like suckers, while your little kid is there having a nap, being pushed around, in PJs, whith a nice bottle of milk or some malarky...lazy sod. get the little yoke up off his arse and make him walk! too young you say? make him crawl along beside ya, get the grit in his palms...build some character in the little fella.

what a legend of a 90 year old, that man, that man has a vision i tell ya!

disclaimer: not intended to offend in the slightest, just a typical AH response. I dont want a bunch of women in mammy wagons comin after me

No offence taken, been here too long now, used to get so worked up when i first joined i even got a warning from Devore himself! (although i didnt know who he was at the time

)

Berty · 20-12-2008 12:02PM

Trinity1 wrote: »

No offence taken, been here too long now, used to get so worked up when i first joined i even got a warning from Devore himself! (although i didnt know who he was at the time )

Its not worth it here or in the "real world".

I had some cow drive a buggy half way up the back of my legs. It was really painful. I turned around and she scowled at me. I said "do you fvcking mind watching where you are going?"

She looked at me as though I had come into her house on Christmas day and pissed on her kids.

Typical world revolves around me and my kids attitude.

professore · 20-12-2008 12:08PM

Yes and don't get me started on those bastards in wheelchairs ...

^^^^^ Before I get banned the above is sarcasm ... people should get a life and worry about stuff that actually matters ^^^^^^

I can't wait until I start having babies!

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