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Christmas Party Shenanigans
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04-12-2008 04:30PM#1
Comments
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I once got "removed" from our work xmas party for fighting with an inflatable plant decoration they had. Sapposidly I was warned twice before to stop but that god damn plant wasn't gonna get the better of me, so I was forcefully removed. Problem was this all went down in the main dining / dance hall in front of pretty much everyone, about 300 or so and somone was even good enough to take pictures of it and on monday they were doin the rounds.
I still work there and have our xmas party tomorrow night.
Good times!!
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Never been to a work do, but at a christmas party hosted by my parents' gay and rather refined friends last year my sister made a serious impression. First mistake was wearing white jeans. Sencond mistake getting pretty hammered on the deceptively non-alcoholic tasting punch. Then she went out into a field with me and her boyfriend to have a bit of a smoke. Me and her boyfriend were more or less in our right minds after but she was demented.
To get from where the party was to the field you had to walk down the road a bit to get to the gate, even though the field was right beside the garden but on the way back sis decided to just hop the wall. Sis fails to remember that the wall is two or three feet higher on the garden side than the field side, stands up on the wall and leaps, taking a bit of the wall with her. Her boyfriend and I giggled for about ten minutes, sauntered back down the road and back to the party before it occured to us that she could maybe be hurt.
Found her inside, talking drunken stoned ****e to a load of our parents' friends and telling everyone how much she loved the Killers and using the word f.aggot more than was appropriate in the setting. Her white jeans were also covered with mud and blood from her wall hopping adventure. The parents were none too impressed, so her boyfriend took her out to sit in the car for a while to sober up. The next day my mam noticed the muddy footprints on the ceiling of the car over the back seat 0 -
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Thankfully I've been well behaved myself!
Scored one girl in the toilets... had been flirting with another one so as I came out of one cubicle.. seen the other girl and went in there with her!! The first girl didnt have a clue where I went:D
A mate of mine was at his a couple of years back, 2 girls in the company were into him with neither being much to look at! One was scarily thin and an fugly head, the other had a nice head but was lets say rather too voluptuous, anyway the 2 of them are making a play for him all night. He ended up bring the bigger one back to his room... Q the skinny one going up to his room trying to kick the door in and eventually setting off a fire extinguisher against his door and setting the fire alarm off!
He found out the following week she was off her face on coke, oddly though he was told not to lead anyone on in the office!!
a guy I worked with a few years ago was telling me while he was working in for large mobile company about 10 years ago, the HR director and another guy in the company were chasing the same girl, it ended with the 2 of them having a punch up in the middle of the dancefloor, you can be sure there was no written warning for either of them :eek::eek:0 -
What Company did you say you worked in againCrackerspray wrote: »My last years work doo turned into an extreme drunken mess inc. one of the ugliest girls in the office barricading a guy into her room and he was left in a drunken mess of tears after, the department boss crawling around the hotel on her hands and knees looking for her camera that was later found in her bag at the table, another boss was jumping on one of my collegues bed (naked :eek:) and I was photgraphed by most of the office walking around the hotel with a virgin mary statue, posing in some precarious positons!
One of the best work nights ever! 0 -
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Work parties sound horrible.
Most people at work hate each other. Why would you want to party with them?
I just dont get this.
I went to A) avail of the free booze and
sit back and watch those who hated each other get drunk enough to tell each other what they really thought of them, then slunk off and goot sh* faced elsewhere to avoid the accusing eyes the following monday. 0 -
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Yeah fun times in the past, remember giving a "christmas" kiss to one of the girls I worked with, only I decided I might as well chance my arm and slip the tongue out. She was frozen solid in shock (or hatred!?) with her mouth closed so I ended up just stood there licking her teeth for what seemed like ages :rolleyes:
Probably the worst one ever though was a Christmas party I had while I was working overseas. Went off for a few days holidays in Roatan (little island off the north of Honduras). Thought I'd score a bit of weed so I asked one of the local prostitutes to get me 20 dollars worth. She came back about twenty minutes later with a shopping bag full of weed asking if that was alright ? :eek:
Anyway, ended up with a couple of English girls back at their hut and we made up a few joints. All grand, no problem, bit of a strong high but was all mellow.
One of them pulled out a bong and passed it to me to use, I'd never used one before so was loading the weed in and taking deep drags, not much of a hit on the back of the throat as to what I was used too with the normal joints so was lashing it into me.
About ten minutes later I had lost all ability to speak and about another ten minutes later all comprehension of who I was, where I was and who these two girls kissing each other on the bed and smiling at me were. Aw no, aw God no, not now, no please...
I was all monged out, dribbling spit down the side of my face and I couldn't move a muscle. All I could do was grunt and stare at the two girls going at it with each other. They got pissed off with me after about an hour, came over and helped me to my feet and pushed me out the door
Still all monged out and not knowing who I was or where I was, I was walking around in pitch black darkness and then hearing these sloshing sounds. I found my lighter in my pocket and lit it up, I had managed to walk myself out into the sea and the water was up around my waist. Bit of a shock like, water was really warm anyway but not even knowing what my own name was and why the hell I was standing up to my waist in the sea, kinda kicked a bit of life into me.
Finally managed to walk my way out of the sea and found (what I thought) was the huts I had come from and "where I lived". Randomly going around knocking on hut doors, pushing one of them open and walking inside. There was two Asian girls going at it with each other. Like really, I'm out of my head in a strange country, don't know who I am and not one but two opportunities to partake in a threesome and I'm soaking wet the second time and still all monged out.
I apologise for interrupting them and they say it's no problem and I should stay ! Wait for it...I say to them "NO SORRY I HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY MAMMY" !!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: Really like, what a fcking spanner !!!
I walked out, walking around on the street for a fair while and the girl that sold me the big bag of weed meets me and is pissing herself laughing but fair play to her she takes me by the arm and brings me back to my own hut I was staying in.
I end up falling asleep in the hammock outside, waking up early in the morning and covered with mosquito bites all over me
I didn't smoke weed for about 7 years after that happened. I didn't mind the whole being monged out of my head part, what got me the most was that I was so monged out I missed two opportunites in the same night to have a threesome.
Still pisses me off now thinking about it :mad:0 -
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I once got "removed" from our work xmas party for fighting with an inflatable plant decoration they had. Sapposidly I was warned twice before to stop but that god damn plant wasn't gonna get the better of me, so I was forcefully removed. Problem was this all went down in the main dining / dance hall in front of pretty much everyone, about 300 or so and somone was even good enough to take pictures of it and on monday they were doin the rounds.
I still work there and have our xmas party tomorrow night.
Good times!!
Ya forgot to include that you broke your ankle. But in true session fashion you partied on regardless. Legend!!0 -
Thought I'd score a bit of weed so I asked one of the local prostitutes to get me 20 dollars worth. She came back about twenty minutes later with a shopping bag full of weed asking if that was alright ? :eek:
Anyway, ended up with a couple of English girls back at their hut and we made up a few joints. All grand, no problem, bit of a strong high but was all mellow.
One of them pulled out a bong and passed it to me to use, I'd never used one before so was loading the weed in and taking deep drags, not much of a hit on the back of the throat as to what I was used too with the normal joints so was lashing it into me.
About ten minutes later I had lost all ability to speak and about another ten minutes later all comprehension of who I was, where I was and who these two girls kissing each other on the bed and smiling at me were. Aw no, aw God no, not now, no please...
I was all monged out, dribbling spit down the side of my face and I couldn't move a muscle. All I could do was grunt and stare at the two girls going at it with each other. They got pissed off with me after about an hour, came over and helped me to my feet and pushed me out the door
Still all monged out and not knowing who I was or where I was, I was walking around in pitch black darkness and then hearing these sloshing sounds. I found my lighter in my pocket and lit it up, I had managed to walk myself out into the sea and the water was up around my waist. Bit of a shock like, water was really warm anyway but not even knowing what my own name was and why the hell I was standing up to my waist in the sea, kinda kicked a bit of life into me.
Finally managed to walk my way out of the sea and found (what I thought) was the huts I had come from and "where I lived". Randomly going around knocking on hut doors, pushing one of them open and walking inside. There was two Asian girls going at it with each other. Like really, I'm out of my head in a strange country, don't know who I am and not one but two opportunities to partake in a threesome and I'm soaking wet the second time and still all monged out.
I apologise for interrupting them and they say it's no problem and I should stay ! Wait for it...I say to them "NO SORRY I HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY MAMMY" !!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: Really like, what a fcking spanner !!!
I walked out, walking around on the street for a fair while and the girl that sold me the big bag of weed meets me and is pissing herself laughing but fair play to her she takes me by the arm and brings me back to my own hut I was staying in.
I end up falling asleep in the hammock outside, waking up early in the morning and covered with mosquito bites all over me
I didn't smoke weed for about 7 years after that happened. I didn't mind the whole being monged out of my head part, what got me the most was that I was so monged out I missed two opportunites in the same night to have a threesome.
Still pisses me off now thinking about it :mad:
One of the best stories I've ever heard0 -
Yeah fun times in the past, remember giving a "christmas" kiss to one of the girls I worked with, only I decided I might as well chance my arm and slip the tongue out. She was frozen solid in shock (or hatred!?) with her mouth closed so I ended up just stood there licking her teeth for what seemed like ages :rolleyes:
Probably the worst one ever though was a Christmas party I had while I was working overseas. Went off for a few days holidays in Roatan (little island off the north of Honduras). Thought I'd score a bit of weed so I asked one of the local prostitutes to get me 20 dollars worth. She came back about twenty minutes later with a shopping bag full of weed asking if that was alright ? :eek:
Anyway, ended up with a couple of English girls back at their hut and we made up a few joints. All grand, no problem, bit of a strong high but was all mellow.
One of them pulled out a bong and passed it to me to use, I'd never used one before so was loading the weed in and taking deep drags, not much of a hit on the back of the throat as to what I was used too with the normal joints so was lashing it into me.
About ten minutes later I had lost all ability to speak and about another ten minutes later all comprehension of who I was, where I was and who these two girls kissing each other on the bed and smiling at me were. Aw no, aw God no, not now, no please...
I was all monged out, dribbling spit down the side of my face and I couldn't move a muscle. All I could do was grunt and stare at the two girls going at it with each other. They got pissed off with me after about an hour, came over and helped me to my feet and pushed me out the door
Still all monged out and not knowing who I was or where I was, I was walking around in pitch black darkness and then hearing these sloshing sounds. I found my lighter in my pocket and lit it up, I had managed to walk myself out into the sea and the water was up around my waist. Bit of a shock like, water was really warm anyway but not even knowing what my own name was and why the hell I was standing up to my waist in the sea, kinda kicked a bit of life into me.
Finally managed to walk my way out of the sea and found (what I thought) was the huts I had come from and "where I lived". Randomly going around knocking on hut doors, pushing one of them open and walking inside. There was two Asian girls going at it with each other. Like really, I'm out of my head in a strange country, don't know who I am and not one but two opportunities to partake in a threesome and I'm soaking wet the second time and still all monged out.
I apologise for interrupting them and they say it's no problem and I should stay ! Wait for it...I say to them "NO SORRY I HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY MAMMY" !!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: Really like, what a fcking spanner !!!
I walked out, walking around on the street for a fair while and the girl that sold me the big bag of weed meets me and is pissing herself laughing but fair play to her she takes me by the arm and brings me back to my own hut I was staying in.
I end up falling asleep in the hammock outside, waking up early in the morning and covered with mosquito bites all over me
I didn't smoke weed for about 7 years after that happened. I didn't mind the whole being monged out of my head part, what got me the most was that I was so monged out I missed two opportunites in the same night to have a threesome.
Still pisses me off now thinking about it :mad:
Fugg me, that's better than Tallaght 01s story.;)0 -
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Yeah fun times in the past, remember giving a "christmas" kiss to one of the girls I worked with, only I decided I might as well chance my arm and slip the tongue out. She was frozen solid in shock (or hatred!?) with her mouth closed so I ended up just stood there licking her teeth for what seemed like ages :rolleyes:
Probably the worst one ever though was a Christmas party I had while I was working overseas. Went off for a few days holidays in Roatan (little island off the north of Honduras). Thought I'd score a bit of weed so I asked one of the local prostitutes to get me 20 dollars worth. She came back about twenty minutes later with a shopping bag full of weed asking if that was alright ? :eek:
Anyway, ended up with a couple of English girls back at their hut and we made up a few joints. All grand, no problem, bit of a strong high but was all mellow.
One of them pulled out a bong and passed it to me to use, I'd never used one before so was loading the weed in and taking deep drags, not much of a hit on the back of the throat as to what I was used too with the normal joints so was lashing it into me.
About ten minutes later I had lost all ability to speak and about another ten minutes later all comprehension of who I was, where I was and who these two girls kissing each other on the bed and smiling at me were. Aw no, aw God no, not now, no please...
I was all monged out, dribbling spit down the side of my face and I couldn't move a muscle. All I could do was grunt and stare at the two girls going at it with each other. They got pissed off with me after about an hour, came over and helped me to my feet and pushed me out the door
Still all monged out and not knowing who I was or where I was, I was walking around in pitch black darkness and then hearing these sloshing sounds. I found my lighter in my pocket and lit it up, I had managed to walk myself out into the sea and the water was up around my waist. Bit of a shock like, water was really warm anyway but not even knowing what my own name was and why the hell I was standing up to my waist in the sea, kinda kicked a bit of life into me.
Finally managed to walk my way out of the sea and found (what I thought) was the huts I had come from and "where I lived". Randomly going around knocking on hut doors, pushing one of them open and walking inside. There was two Asian girls going at it with each other. Like really, I'm out of my head in a strange country, don't know who I am and not one but two opportunities to partake in a threesome and I'm soaking wet the second time and still all monged out.
I apologise for interrupting them and they say it's no problem and I should stay ! Wait for it...I say to them "NO SORRY I HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY MAMMY" !!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: Really like, what a fcking spanner !!!
I walked out, walking around on the street for a fair while and the girl that sold me the big bag of weed meets me and is pissing herself laughing but fair play to her she takes me by the arm and brings me back to my own hut I was staying in.
I end up falling asleep in the hammock outside, waking up early in the morning and covered with mosquito bites all over me
I didn't smoke weed for about 7 years after that happened. I didn't mind the whole being monged out of my head part, what got me the most was that I was so monged out I missed two opportunites in the same night to have a threesome.
Still pisses me off now thinking about it :mad:
You'd be even more pissed to know that a glass of orange juice would have sorted you out in no time 0 -
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Yeah fun times in the past, remember giving a "christmas" kiss to one of the girls I worked with, only I decided I might as well chance my arm and slip the tongue out. She was frozen solid in shock (or hatred!?) with her mouth closed so I ended up just stood there licking her teeth for what seemed like ages :rolleyes:
Probably the worst one ever though was a Christmas party I had while I was working overseas. Went off for a few days holidays in Roatan (little island off the north of Honduras). Thought I'd score a bit of weed so I asked one of the local prostitutes to get me 20 dollars worth. She came back about twenty minutes later with a shopping bag full of weed asking if that was alright ? :eek:
Anyway, ended up with a couple of English girls back at their hut and we made up a few joints. All grand, no problem, bit of a strong high but was all mellow.
One of them pulled out a bong and passed it to me to use, I'd never used one before so was loading the weed in and taking deep drags, not much of a hit on the back of the throat as to what I was used too with the normal joints so was lashing it into me.
About ten minutes later I had lost all ability to speak and about another ten minutes later all comprehension of who I was, where I was and who these two girls kissing each other on the bed and smiling at me were. Aw no, aw God no, not now, no please...
I was all monged out, dribbling spit down the side of my face and I couldn't move a muscle. All I could do was grunt and stare at the two girls going at it with each other. They got pissed off with me after about an hour, came over and helped me to my feet and pushed me out the door
Still all monged out and not knowing who I was or where I was, I was walking around in pitch black darkness and then hearing these sloshing sounds. I found my lighter in my pocket and lit it up, I had managed to walk myself out into the sea and the water was up around my waist. Bit of a shock like, water was really warm anyway but not even knowing what my own name was and why the hell I was standing up to my waist in the sea, kinda kicked a bit of life into me.
Finally managed to walk my way out of the sea and found (what I thought) was the huts I had come from and "where I lived". Randomly going around knocking on hut doors, pushing one of them open and walking inside. There was two Asian girls going at it with each other. Like really, I'm out of my head in a strange country, don't know who I am and not one but two opportunities to partake in a threesome and I'm soaking wet the second time and still all monged out.
I apologise for interrupting them and they say it's no problem and I should stay ! Wait for it...I say to them "NO SORRY I HAVE TO GO HOME TO MY MAMMY" !!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: Really like, what a fcking spanner !!!
I walked out, walking around on the street for a fair while and the girl that sold me the big bag of weed meets me and is pissing herself laughing but fair play to her she takes me by the arm and brings me back to my own hut I was staying in.
I end up falling asleep in the hammock outside, waking up early in the morning and covered with mosquito bites all over me
I didn't smoke weed for about 7 years after that happened. I didn't mind the whole being monged out of my head part, what got me the most was that I was so monged out I missed two opportunites in the same night to have a threesome.
Still pisses me off now thinking about it :mad:
o god I'm crying laughing here0
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