What's the worst thing you've accidentally done?

Got drunk and tried to staple a piece of paper with my name on it to my hand so when I would wave at people, they'd know my name. Needed a flat surface, so used the table. Ended up stapling my hand to the table. Have video evidence somewhere....

Burnt the house down, fell asleep while smoking a fag, luckily the next door neighbour spotted smoke & called the fire brigade, they burst through the door & dragged me out.

The house was burned to the ground, the letting agency put us up in a hotel while the fixed us up with alternative accomodation.

Minding my Aunts house while she was away lit the fire but it became to warm.So removed the top coal and put it in to a plastic bucket.The next morning the house was scorched looking to say the least.The worst part was she had only got it done up and also she came back a week early and i was caught by the bollix
.She gets other people to mind her house now[funnily enough]

Wasnt me, but my father bought a few cheap extendable battons and brought them home.
Walks into the room goes "have you eveseen these yokes" gives it a good flick to open it, top bit flys out bounces of the floor and straight into the TV. Me and my brothers burst our holes laughing while he just stood there with a shocked look on his face.

About 15 years ago, was cycling to work and had to get off the bike to run across what is now the N11, just near Cabinteely. Standing in the bit of green area in the middle with the bike, unconsciously I'm reaching down to scratch my balls, having a bit of grope really but this car is driving by and I'm looking at the girl driving it who is fixated on my groin area with me stood there staring at her, while still holding my balls (through my jeans btw, not like I had my cock and balls out in my hand).
She ends up slamming into a truck in front of her which had slowed down, car behind her slams into the back of her, and a car slams into it, goes on for about ten cars back all slamming into each other.
I just got on the bike and cycled off, sure it wasn't my fault, all I was doing was scratching my balls.

Another one, same kinda thing...
Couple years back, driving out the southside. Turning a corner and some shíthead in a souped up polo tries to overtake me going around the corner.
I speed up and don't let him get past me, then slow down to just under 30mph just to stop him speeding.
He starts revving his engine and beeping at me, at this stage now I'm just really pissed off. Look in my rear view mirror and the muppet starts giving me the fingers.
So that was that, temper was lost. I slam on the handbrake and am out of the car in a second. As I get out I hear all these cars crashing in the huge line of traffic that I had created by slowing down to stop him speeding. I mean loads of cars (apologies if anyone here was in one of them!).
The guy rolls down his window and start shouting at me and saying "look what you did now you wanker" - so I push my head through his open window, grab him by his neck and start punching the face off him. Basically leaving him unconcious. Now I'm in a temper, red mist and all that but as I stop hitting him, I look up and what must've been his mother and his girlfriend are in the back of the car in hysterics.
So I'm feeling kinda bad now at this stage but thinking well, fck it, if he hadn't been a scumbag with his carry-on in the first place he wouldn't have got the digs.
As I walk back to my own car some other drivers that had stopped to watch on the other side of the road, one of them starts shouting at me in a very posh southside accent "you little gurrier, you're just a thug". So well, red mist again and I'm running over to plant a few on him as well but he shíts himself and slams on his accelerator, pulls out the other side of the road and swerves back to his own side but loses control and smashes his lovely big BMW into a concrete bollard - then his wife in the pasenger seat starts lashing out digs at him. Not that I cared but they were both fine and not hurt, apart from the digs he got from his wife for crashing the car I suppose.

Nehaxak wrote: »

....

brilliant, im getting wierd looks here in the office laughing my head off at that

i onced, completely locked drunk tryed to get a ciggerette off a un clothed gardi, he surprisingly gave me one it was only when i asked him for a light he realised i was too young ( about 2-3 years ago )


he didnt knick me, just done his best to make a show of me....

Hmm, I've concussed my brother and my cousin. The cousin and I were playing swingball when we were about thirteen, I saw a shiny object or smelled chips or something, so my concentration lapsed, the racket went flying out of my hand and hit him smack in the face. He collapsed, bleeding on the lawn, broke his nose and all.
When I was sixteen, my parents were dropping me off at a friend's house on their way to dinner somewhere. They had wanted me to babysit my brother and had to take him with them to dinner when I refused, so the whole journey was taken up with a lecture about my attitude, lack of respect, treating them like atms etc. All valid points in hindsight, but at the time I thought they were, like, being SOOO unfair, so when I got out of the car I gave the door a serious slam behind me. My little brother, bless him, is pretty but not the brightest kid you'd ever meet, he thought he was coming with me and was following me out of the car...he got a bit thicker after that I think.

I've also revealed the non-existence of santa, the toothfairy, given away the ending to the usual suspects, the crying game, and the sixth sense, smashed a €70 bottle of whiskey, used the word ****** when giving out about somebody to my gay music teacher, and gotten my own sister's name wrong for an entire night.

i too told a workmate a suicide joke a few weeks after his nephew had topped himself