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Toilet Break???

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    #32
    Nehaxak
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,717 ✭✭✭Nehaxak


    chin_grin wrote: »
    Because you had a bidet

    There is no bidet though, have to wet toilet roll, wipe, repeat (I can take pictures if you like???)

    I have this thing I do if I'm constipated though, I just think about robbing an orchard and off we go, plops out no problem. Dunno what it was but whenever I was just about to hop over the wall or whatever as a kid to rob an orchard, I'd have to have a shyte. Doc leaves where your best friend back then...ahhh....memories....


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    #33
    Andrewf20
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,280 ✭✭✭Andrewf20


    If I have to bring Mr Brown and his friends down to the coast, then 5-6 mins. Had a crummy student type job years ago that I hated. Think I was in the cubicle for 20mins as well on 1 occasion. Sore feet to blame.


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    #34
    Rabies
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,257 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    rainbow kirby wrote: »
    How the hell does it take people 20 minutes for a #2?

    Poor diets.




    Did ya hear the one about the constipated mathamatican?

    We worked it out with a pencil.


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    #35
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,786 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Personally I hate it when you're in there so long your legs go dead that you get pins and needles and have to try and walk it off in the cubicle.


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    #36
    Rabies
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,257 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    then need to go back and wipe.


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    #37
    brendansmith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭brendansmith


    Rabies wrote: »
    then need to go back and wipe.
    ah ha


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    #38
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Those working in Dell, Intel, HP, GE, Panemetrics, Microsoft, De Beers, Commissioners of Irish Lights, the Airports, or any other company that requires you to carry an electronic clock card around your neck on the job can all be tracked into the crapper. :eek:

    So if you are going for your daily read of the Sun on the can, leave your ID e_tag in your locker :D

    The ESB unions rejected the idea of their employeese carrying E_cards in the job, probably for the above reason. They must now have some of the most intellectual workers in the country. :D


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    #39
    zuutroy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,854 ✭✭✭zuutroy


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    Those working in Dell, Intel, HP, GE, Panemetrics, Microsoft, De Beers, Commissioners of Irish Lights, the Airports, or any other company that requires you to carry an electronic clock card around your neck on the job can all be tracked into the crapper. :eek:

    lol, magnetic strip cards don't have GPS in them. They can only be used to track your movements when you physically scan them at a reader


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    #40
    m@cc@
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭m@cc@


    Smart Bug wrote: »
    Folks, how long, do you think, is it acceptable to spend in the toilet? At work especially...


    What the hell do you mean by 'acceptable'? Is someone timing you?


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    #41
    Zangetsu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,218 ✭✭✭Zangetsu


    As long as it takes to empty the tanks, I'm not gonna burst a vein for the sake of a few extra mins work...


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    #42
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    zuutroy wrote: »
    lol, magnetic strip cards don't have GPS in them. They can only be used to track your movements when you physically scan them at a reader
    E_tag ID cards are not magnetic strip based.


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    #43
    zuutroy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,854 ✭✭✭zuutroy


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    E_tag ID cards are not magnetic strip based.

    clearly I'm outta the loop. How the hell can they track your position?


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    #44
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    zuutroy wrote: »
    clearly I'm outta the loop. How the hell can they track your position?
    Most high security firms have touch pad scanners leading into restricted areas of their buildings such as store rooms, offices and areas where valuable information or items are kept. Your card is your key so they know exactly who went in and went out.

    They can also install “portal scanners” concealed throughout the building including the jacks. I would be very surprised if Dublin Airport didn’t have them.

    This technology makes it easy for management to pinpoint the exact location of employeese in the case of an emergency such as a bomb threat or fire.


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    #45
    Jigsaw
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,510 ✭✭✭Jigsaw


    I have recently been spending a considerable portion of my working day in the bog. There is a disabled toilet just across the way from me. It is clean and spacious and never used. I am about to leave my job so I don't give a f*ck about how long I'm there. Put it this way, mid morning there will be a sh*te + **** hybrid visit followed by a separate sh*t and separate **** visit in the afternoon. Sh*t + **** is going to be about 30 mins, and the individual visits, 15 mins each, so there is an hour gone already. If hungover, I like to go in, sit on the throne and have a good beery fart and a blast and then have a wee snooze whilst my arse whistles like a kettle.


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    #46
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I'm off for a dump now.

    Somebody get out the stopwatch!!!!


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    #47
    Roadend
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Roadend


    Just post when you get back and we'll see the difference, durrrrrrrr:)


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    #48
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    When I worked in "civil service" back in the 80ies, we had a library system going with everything from the Sun to the Times wedged in behind a radiator opposite the jacks. :)


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    #49
    Smart Bug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    Sometimes someone leaves a Metro in the jacks here. Those are happy days.


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    #50
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,286 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    When I worked in "civil service" back in the 80ies, we had a library system going with everything from the Sun to the Times wedged in behind a radiator opposite the jacks. :)

    :eek:
    Thats disgusting.....


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    #51
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    smccarrick wrote: »
    :eek:
    Thats disgusting.....

    What?...... page 3 :rolleyes:


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    #52
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I'm off for a dump now.

    Somebody get out the stopwatch!!!!

    JAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

    I enjoyed that! :D


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    #53
    Soby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,978 ✭✭✭Soby


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I'm off for a dump now.

    Somebody get out the stopwatch!!!!
    Roadend wrote: »
    Just post when you get back and we'll see the difference, durrrrrrrr:)
    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    JAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

    I enjoyed that! :D

    i count 40 minutes:eek:


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    #54
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    What?...... page 3 :rolleyes:

    Duuuuurty. :pac:


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    #55
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Soby wrote: »
    i count a 1hr and 15minutes:eek:

    You need counting lessons lad.

    More like 40 minutes - but WHAT a 40 minutes they were! :D


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    #56
    Soby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,978 ✭✭✭Soby


    sure thats what my comment says...40 minutes:rolleyes:


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    #57
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Soby wrote: »
    sure thats what my comment says...40 minutes:rolleyes:

    Well I'll be! How in tarnation did that happen???? :confused:


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    #58
    MJOR
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭MJOR


    As long as it takes to confortably have your pee / poo


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    #59
    Smart Bug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    Right, I'm off for an ass blast now. Wish me luck...


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    #60
    Smart Bug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    Hoop like a wizard's sleeve...


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    #61
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,379 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    Number 1 or 2?

    Number 3 FTW! :pac:


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