Toilet Break???

Smart Bug · 07-10-2008 04:32PM #1

Folks, how long, do you think, is it acceptable to spend in the toilet? At work especially...

Xavi6 · 07-10-2008 04:33PM

Number 1 or 2?

The_Conductor · 07-10-2008 04:33PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

Folks, how long, do you think, is it acceptable to spend in the toilet? At work especially...

A couple of minutes?
Why- what have in mind- to bring a book in with you for a read or something? :eek:

Frisbee · 07-10-2008 04:33PM

As long as it takes.
I'be no problem spending an age in the jacks if Im trying to squat one out...

whiskeyman · 07-10-2008 04:35PM

Depends.... what if your job is a toilet cleaner?

/head explodes

Does a toilet cleaner take an office desk break?

ScumLord · 07-10-2008 04:35PM

Frisbee wrote: »

As long as it takes.
I'be no problem spending an age in the jacks if Im trying to squat one out...

QFT. You don't want half it left in your jocks.

Smart Bug · 07-10-2008 04:35PM

Toosies. But yes, I do have a habit of bringing a book in with me at home, much to the consternation (constipation) of my flatmate.

I see nothing wrong in this practice. It helps bring a whole feeling of serenity to the ocasion that would otherwise be missing.

Nehaxak · 07-10-2008 05:00PM

A good 30 minutes for a number 2.

KTRIC · 07-10-2008 05:03PM

As long as I please. I'm not hurrying for anyone.

chin_grin · 07-10-2008 05:04PM

Drop + read + wipe.

Around 20 minutes max. If it was a "neverending wiper" then it would be longer.

RubyXI · 07-10-2008 05:04PM

Nehaxak wrote: »

A good 30 minutes for a number 2.

:eek: you must have plenty free time. You'd be better off going in and rooting it out :eek:

jor el · 07-10-2008 05:06PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

But yes, I do have a habit of bringing a book in with me at home

And if the book turns out to be crap, you're in the perfect place to deal with it, and you'll never be caught out without bog-roll.

5-10 minutes should be acceptable at work, depending on how many pints you had last night, and pints of what. Guinness has been known to take a good 15 minutes, 4 or 5 times in the day.

07-10-2008 05:06PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

Folks, how long, do you think, is it acceptable to spend in the toilet? At work especially...

Depends on 3 things ;
1 - Are you having a piss?
2 - Are you having a ****?
3 - Are you having a ****?

Smart Bug · 07-10-2008 05:10PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Depends on 3 things ;
1 - Are you having a piss?
2 - Are you having a ****?
3 - Are you having a ****?

Sometimes all three. Depends on the book.

Nehaxak · 07-10-2008 05:12PM

phi3 wrote: »

:eek: you must have plenty free time. You'd be better off going in and rooting it out :eek:

Ah but I have mine more or less on a natural timer. 12.45 to 1pm every day I'm off to the loo for a crap. Given it's lunchtime anyway, nobody cares and suits me fine. I also wash my arse afterwards though so that 30 minutes is warranted.

Messes things up though if I'm travelling/working abroad, having to get up at like 3am for a crap is fairly annoying.

07-10-2008 05:12PM

You're looking at 20 minutes and bring your iPod then kind sir.

Smart Bug · 07-10-2008 05:15PM

Deleted User wrote: »

You're looking at 20 minutes and bring your iPod then kind sir.

I find listening to Ring Of Fire on repeat helps the sh!te gallop out of me.

admiralofthefleet · 07-10-2008 05:15PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

Sometimes all three. Depends on the book.

also known as an economy dump

Smart Bug · 07-10-2008 05:18PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

also known as an economy dump

Can lead to the jack-knife effect - all 3 sensations at once resulting in one disconntecting with the potty at an abrupt angle...

Vic Vinegar · 07-10-2008 05:27PM

chin_grin wrote: »

Around 20 minutes max. If it was a "neverending wiper" then it would be longer.

:D

chin_grin · 07-10-2008 05:32PM

Nehaxak wrote: »

I also wash my arse afterwards though so that 30 minutes is warranted.

Because you had a bidet
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bidet
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bidet
You had a bidet

07-10-2008 07:29PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

I find listening to Ring Of Fire on repeat helps the sh!te gallop out of me.

Naa welcome to the jungle tbh

dr.bollocko · 07-10-2008 07:44PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

Can lead to the jack-knife effect - all 3 sensations at once resulting in one disconntecting with the potty at an abrupt angle...

Well at least you only have to flush once. Water conservation people.
Its important.
Where the hell is fluttering bantam?

Hagar · 07-10-2008 07:47PM

It all depends on how hard the Times crossword is that day.

FlutterinBantam · 07-10-2008 11:47PM

Ode to the office Shíte.. Flutterinbantam.

I slipped from my desk to take a big shít
I gasped in amazement as the pewter she hit
she slid 'neath the water and sank out of sight
Ignominious end for a prize winning shíte

*****************************

So folks ,if you feel a hot stool at your hole
Proceed with all haste and back up to the bowl
Unload at your ease,and don't rush your shíte
And make sure that your ringpiece isn't clenched up and tight
*******************************************

Bring your paper, your book, and back out your load
blow out freely and strong and blast the commode
Clean your badge nice and slowly,and examine your knob
Then slowly and calmly walk back to your job.

FB

Captain Darling · 08-10-2008 12:00AM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Ode to the office Shíte.. Flutterinbantam.

I slipped from my desk to take a big shít
I gasped in amazement as the pewter she hit
she slid 'neath the water and sank out of sight
Ignominious end for a prize winning shíte

*****************************

So folks ,if you feel a hot stool at your hole
Proceed with all haste and back up to the bowl
Unload at your ease,and don't rush your shíte
And make sure that your ringpiece isn't clenched up and tight
*******************************************

Bring your paper, your book, and back out your load
blow out freely and strong and blast the commode
Clean your badge nice and slowly,and examine your knob
Then slowly and calmly walk back to your job.

FB

Signing that at the bottom adds just a little extra bit of class.

Gummy Panda · 08-10-2008 12:04AM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Ode to the office Shíte.. Flutterinbantam.

I slipped from my desk to take a big shít
I gasped in amazement as the pewter she hit
she slid 'neath the water and sank out of sight
Ignominious end for a prize winning shíte

*****************************

So folks ,if you feel a hot stool at your hole
Proceed with all haste and back up to the bowl
Unload at your ease,and don't rush your shíte
And make sure that your ringpiece isn't clenched up and tight
*******************************************

Bring your paper, your book, and back out your load
blow out freely and strong and blast the commode
Clean your badge nice and slowly,and examine your knob
Then slowly and calmly walk back to your job.

FB

Did you write that on the toilet?

goz83 · 08-10-2008 12:38AM

chin_grin wrote: »

Drop + read + wipe.

Around 20 minutes max. If it was a "neverending wiper" then it would be longer.

LOL.....:pac: that's disgusting.

rainbow kirby · 08-10-2008 12:39AM

How the hell does it take people 20 minutes for a #2?

Keith186 · 08-10-2008 12:44AM

10 minutes is loads to get it out unless you got problems.

If there's only one jacks I can see why your flatmate is annoyed! Nothin worse than holding it in, then when you get to go you nearly get sick cos of the stink!

towel401 · 08-10-2008 01:02AM

rainbow kirby wrote: »

How the hell does it take people 20 minutes for a #2?

lots of pushing

Toilet Break???

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