Whats the weirdest thing you've ever coughed up, puked up or sh1t out?

source · 30-09-2008 10:11AM

I once puked luminous yellow thanks to the copious amounts of lucozade sport i had drank, oh and if you drink too much mango flavoured powerade it turns your sh1t green, i kid you not!!!!

Gummy Panda · 30-09-2008 10:26AM

CursedSkeptic wrote: »

A morbidly obese chip eating 13 year old knacker bird was the inspiration for this thread by the way. Incidentally, her answers were

Coughed up: 20 John Player Blue
Puked up: Her ring (???)
Sh1t out: Her 11 month old son.

True story...

Pics or gtfo

skelliser · 30-09-2008 10:32AM

blood for all 3 suggestions!

Turd Ferguson · 30-09-2008 10:33AM

I once shat and puked at the same time.
A whole chicken came out my mouth and an egg came out my ass....

I forget which one came first though.

TheNog · 30-09-2008 12:55PM

got really sick a few years ago and my siht was white. i actually siht albinos

when i was a kid and had the flu i coughed and a big lump of phlegm hit my friend on the face

CursedSkeptic · 30-09-2008 03:22PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Pics or gtfo

Banned

razorblunt · 30-09-2008 04:42PM

Was in the horrors last Sunday morning downed a can of Club Orange to quench the thirst when I woke. It came straight back up, bits and all.

Kiera · 30-09-2008 05:17PM

Got this from the poxy next door neighbours cats when i was 7 Toxocariasis and puked it up while in intensive-care.

faceman · 30-09-2008 05:36PM

i coughed a fly once. And not one of those friendly flys. I coughed up the brundle fly!!

gobby · 30-09-2008 06:16PM

TheNog wrote: »

got really sick a few years ago and my siht was white.

Happened to me before when I was a kid. I don't quite remember it but apparantly I was very sick! Shame my parents didn't take a snap! I would have loved to have seen that madness!

Mr. CooL ICE · 30-09-2008 09:37PM

Not about me, but...

My parents dog is constantly trying to get into the bin, especially if he smells meat scraps from it. One time my dad was cleaning dog turds off the grass before he cut it and noticed one had a piece of elastic from a stuffed pork steak sticking out of it :pac:

SoWatchaWant · 01-10-2008 12:46PM

Hang on, I can top this.

For the last month I had a manky swelling building up in my molar/jaw area. About three days ago I had some chewing gum, and the chewing of this made it worse over the next two days. One side of my jaw was huge. Now that I think of it, I looked like my avatar.

Last night, after I went to bed, I woke up at about 1am, with the jaw throbbing and this manky, sticky, chickeny taste in my mouth.

Down to the bathroom I went and pulled my cheek aside to have a look inside at the mirror. Almost immediately, behind one of the molars, came an eruption of pus like mustard from a squeezy bottle. one second later the surge was joined, and eventually replaced with, bloody clotty ooze.

I was spitting the stuff out for 5 minutes before it stopped.

In the morning it was much better!

So yeah, the mankiest thing I coughed up was about 50ml of bloody pus:eek:

TheLoc · 01-10-2008 01:11PM

I shat and puked too. its class. i got on a boner then.... hahha

Kiera · 01-10-2008 03:08PM

TheLoc wrote: »

I shat and puked too. its class. i got on a boner then.... hahha

You got on a boner? Did the other guy mind?

TheLoc · 01-10-2008 03:21PM

as they say... shhit happens

jigglywoo · 01-10-2008 03:22PM

Ham came out out my nose last night.

missmatty · 01-10-2008 04:02PM

Coughed up. Earwig :eek:

antodeco · 01-10-2008 04:11PM

Ate a vindaloo the other day, felt like I shat out a full tub of vicks vaporub or something., or someone took my ass temperature with a Vicks Nasal Stick thing.

The guy · 01-10-2008 04:46PM

brendansmith wrote: »

Some people here are just revolting!

Really, they must have problems with the amount of overlords we have.

Capt'n Midnight · 01-10-2008 08:36PM

unchewed spagetti is good for a laugh

Ann22 · 01-10-2008 08:55PM

I fell asleep on the sofa one night years ago and my dog was lying in front of the fire. Suddenly in the middle of the night a strange noise woke me,it was the dog. He was grunting and kind of convulsing.. it was scary! I didn't know what the fcuk was going on. After a few minutes of this he opened his mouth really wide and this thing emerged. It was about 12 inches long and 4 in diameter, a greyish colour with a sprinkling of hair .. it came out slowly..like he was giving birth to it. I was standing on the sofa rooted to the spot in terror when eventually it landed on the floor in front of me. It was a leg from a calf or something(I think). The greedy beast just wolfed it down without a chew. How the fcuk did he do it?? Anyway I lifted it on a shovel and threw it in the bin. The next day there it was again out in the alleyway in a puddle of puke. He must've fished it out of the bin and swallowed it again. Jeeeez!!

TheNog · 02-10-2008 02:52PM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

unchewed spagetti is good for a laugh

my son sneezed when eating spag bol and a 1 inch spagetti came out his nose.

Kold · 02-10-2008 03:20PM

An ancient jewish prophet.. and later a crazy old carpenter and his puppet.

Whats the weirdest thing you've ever coughed up, puked up or sh1t out?

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