Whats the weirdest thing you've ever coughed up, puked up or sh1t out?

CursedSkeptic · 29-09-2008 9:35pm #1

Like, the weirdest thing

Holsten · 29-09-2008 9:38pm

Fried Green Tomatos... for all three.

StiffLitlemicky · 29-09-2008 9:40pm

I once puked up so much i had to pull the lining from my stomach out through my mouth.

trout · 29-09-2008 9:40pm

Was it the same portion for all three 'experiences' ?

CursedSkeptic · 29-09-2008 9:48pm

A morbidly obese chip eating 13 year old knacker bird was the inspiration for this thread by the way. Incidentally, her answers were

Coughed up: 20 John Player Blue
Puked up: Her ring (???)
Sh1t out: Her 11 month old son.

True story...

MooseJam · 29-09-2008 9:49pm

yore ma tbh

ejmaztec · 29-09-2008 9:50pm

A Ford Mondeo :eek:

Frisbee · 29-09-2008 9:50pm

Out of the way early...

YORE MA!

Dancor · 29-09-2008 9:54pm

This http://www.funnypicturefunnyphoto.com/funny-picture-photo-child-toilet-massdistraction-pic.jpg

Karoma · 29-09-2008 9:55pm

MooseJam wrote: »

yore ma tbh

I can think of little unfunnier than that.

Except maybe:

Frisbee wrote: »

Out of the way early...

YORE MA!

Don't do it again. plskthx.

CursedSkeptic · 29-09-2008 9:56pm

My answer is a nest of used condoms for all three

missingtime · 29-09-2008 9:58pm

Hillbillies.

carlybabe1 · 29-09-2008 10:00pm

dancor wrote: »

This http://www.funnypicturefunnyphoto.com/funny-picture-photo-child-toilet-massdistraction-pic.jpg

Ive a pretty warped sense of humour, but something smacks of kitten **** here...how is it funny if you wedge a baby down a jacks for a photo op????

brianthebard · 29-09-2008 10:01pm

dancor wrote: »

This http://www.funnypicturefunnyphoto.com/funny-picture-photo-child-toilet-massdistraction-pic.jpg

But did you puck or **** it out?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 29-09-2008 10:10pm

A South American midget football team.

CursedSkeptic · 29-09-2008 10:10pm

brianthebard wrote: »

But did you puck or **** it out?

This is all getting very cerebral

mud · 29-09-2008 10:24pm

I coughed up a fly,
I don't know why,
I coughed up a fly,
Perhaps I'll die . . .

Has anyone here ever had a number 3? peuking, shiitin' and peein' all at once :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::P

Susannahmia · 29-09-2008 10:25pm

I cough up these sometimes......sexy.:o

Soby · 29-09-2008 10:29pm

mud wrote: »

Has anyone here ever had a number 3? peuking, shiitin' and peein' all at once :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::P

Do all 3 without making a mess and you win a prize

Susannahmia wrote: »

I cough up these sometimes......sexy.:o

holy s**t thats horrible:eek:

Susannahmia · 29-09-2008 10:31pm

Soby wrote: »

holy s**t thats horrible:eek:

Yeah I know

. The only way to get rid permanently is to get your tonsils removed.

AFC_1903 · 29-09-2008 10:39pm

After being mad laugh when drinking a yop, I had to quickly close my mouth to avoid spraying out yop.:D

The Yop came out my nose, then inhaled back in.:rolleyes:

Little known fact: Doing this WILL make you need to puke. :eek:

And the only way to get the Yop out of your nose is to do a 'nasal blast', which makes you puke again.:(

This is made even worse by the fact that you and your friends are still all p!ssing yourselves laughting at your misfortune :pac:
...

Krieg · 29-09-2008 10:59pm

I pissed blood after a vodka marathon

truecrippler · 29-09-2008 11:21pm

Susannahmia wrote: »

I cough up these sometimes......sexy.:o

Oh you doorty bastard poor unfortunate crahter.

Seriously though wtf!!!

Alessandra · 30-09-2008 12:30am

Susannahmia wrote: »

Yeah I know . The only way to get rid permanently is to get your tonsils removed.

Ya mine stopped completely when I got the tonsils out. Never knew what they were til now.. Glad to be rid!

Ross_Mahon · 30-09-2008 12:32am

A whole sausage with stomach acid.

Agent Smith · 30-09-2008 12:32am

liza minelli

Jigsaw · 30-09-2008 12:42am

I recently had a pepperoni & mushroom pizza and the next day I did a sh1te which had a perfectly formed and completely undigested mushroom slice in it. I know because I always inspect my handiwork prior to wipe and flush.

Silenceisbliss · 30-09-2008 7:37am

coughed out a turd
sh!t out some flehm
puked up some ....... atari jaguars.....

brendansmith · 30-09-2008 7:44am

Some people here are just revolting!

Zangetsu · 30-09-2008 8:34am

Lung butter prolly...

FlutterinBantam · 30-09-2008 8:36am

truecrippler wrote: »

Oh you doorty bastard poor unfortunate crahter.

Seriously though wtf!!!

Known colloquially as a "taximan's omelette"

I shít out a girls thong once that I had eaten by mistake, had to remove the waistband by hand:o

source · 30-09-2008 9:11am

I once puked luminous yellow thanks to the copious amounts of lucozade sport i had drank, oh and if you drink too much mango flavoured powerade it turns your sh1t green, i kid you not!!!!

Gummy Panda · 30-09-2008 9:26am

CursedSkeptic wrote: »

A morbidly obese chip eating 13 year old knacker bird was the inspiration for this thread by the way. Incidentally, her answers were

Coughed up: 20 John Player Blue
Puked up: Her ring (???)
Sh1t out: Her 11 month old son.

True story...

Pics or gtfo

skelliser · 30-09-2008 9:32am

blood for all 3 suggestions!

Turd Ferguson · 30-09-2008 9:33am

I once shat and puked at the same time.
A whole chicken came out my mouth and an egg came out my ass....

I forget which one came first though.

TheNog · 30-09-2008 11:55am

got really sick a few years ago and my siht was white. i actually siht albinos

when i was a kid and had the flu i coughed and a big lump of phlegm hit my friend on the face

CursedSkeptic · 30-09-2008 2:22pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Pics or gtfo

Banned

razorblunt · 30-09-2008 3:42pm

Was in the horrors last Sunday morning downed a can of Club Orange to quench the thirst when I woke. It came straight back up, bits and all.

Kiera · 30-09-2008 4:17pm

Got this from the poxy next door neighbours cats when i was 7 Toxocariasis and puked it up while in intensive-care.

faceman · 30-09-2008 4:36pm

i coughed a fly once. And not one of those friendly flys. I coughed up the brundle fly!!

gobby · 30-09-2008 5:16pm

TheNog wrote: »

got really sick a few years ago and my siht was white.

Happened to me before when I was a kid. I don't quite remember it but apparantly I was very sick! Shame my parents didn't take a snap! I would have loved to have seen that madness!

Mr. CooL ICE · 30-09-2008 8:37pm

Not about me, but...

My parents dog is constantly trying to get into the bin, especially if he smells meat scraps from it. One time my dad was cleaning dog turds off the grass before he cut it and noticed one had a piece of elastic from a stuffed pork steak sticking out of it :pac:

SoWatchaWant · 01-10-2008 11:46am

Hang on, I can top this.

For the last month I had a manky swelling building up in my molar/jaw area. About three days ago I had some chewing gum, and the chewing of this made it worse over the next two days. One side of my jaw was huge. Now that I think of it, I looked like my avatar.

Last night, after I went to bed, I woke up at about 1am, with the jaw throbbing and this manky, sticky, chickeny taste in my mouth.

Down to the bathroom I went and pulled my cheek aside to have a look inside at the mirror. Almost immediately, behind one of the molars, came an eruption of pus like mustard from a squeezy bottle. one second later the surge was joined, and eventually replaced with, bloody clotty ooze.

I was spitting the stuff out for 5 minutes before it stopped.

In the morning it was much better!

So yeah, the mankiest thing I coughed up was about 50ml of bloody pus:eek:

TheLoc · 01-10-2008 12:11pm

I shat and puked too. its class. i got on a boner then.... hahha

Kiera · 01-10-2008 2:08pm

TheLoc wrote: »

I shat and puked too. its class. i got on a boner then.... hahha

You got on a boner? Did the other guy mind?

TheLoc · 01-10-2008 2:21pm

as they say... shhit happens

jigglywoo · 01-10-2008 2:22pm

Ham came out out my nose last night.

missmatty · 01-10-2008 3:02pm

Coughed up. Earwig :eek:

antodeco · 01-10-2008 3:11pm

Ate a vindaloo the other day, felt like I shat out a full tub of vicks vaporub or something., or someone took my ass temperature with a Vicks Nasal Stick thing.