Ever went up to a random stranger and asked if they were ok?

whiskeyman · 25-09-2008 12:44PM #1

Was on bus home last night, when this guy, same age as myself , gets on. He was just wearing jeans and t-shirt and carrying an old sports bag. He didn't look homeless or rough, but he looked worn down and worn out.
He shuffled slowly toward his seat, and carefully sat down... he looked genuinely in shock or as if dealing with so many bad thoughts in his head.
Even his head was stooped low, as if to avoid all contact.
His movement was slow, and he had his head resting on his arm for most of the journey... occasionally looking up for his stop.
It's hard to describe, but I've never seen anyone so down and shaken by something.
I was going to ask him if he was ok, but he then got up and got off the bus before I had built up the courage to ask him.

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?
He could have told me to 'GTFO!', or 'mind you own business'... or it could have been exactly what he needed... someone to talk to... but I don't even know him! It's been playing on my mind all day. I wish I could have helped him... not that I even know anything big was wrong??

I know AH is probably the worst place to post this, but I just wonder would anyone, or has anyone, actually been in a similar position and asked if a stranger was ok?
What happened next?

Oh, and minus points for 'yeah, I asked yore ma if she was ok last night!!' shhhwwwweeerrr!!!'

kaimera · 25-09-2008 12:46PM

Are you ok?

whiskeyman · 25-09-2008 12:48PM

kaimera wrote: »

Are you ok?

Yes.

Please go about your usual business good man.

Good day to you.

:pac:

javaboy · 25-09-2008 12:48PM

I have in the past. The other day I was in Superquinn with my gf. She had just had wisdom teeth out and was in pain and had a swollen jaw. She was sitting down while I went to get her water and some guy in his 40s/50s asked her if she was ok. I went back and explained that she had just had an operation and there was nothing to worry about but he wasn't happy until he heard it from her.

I don't know if he thought I was 'beating up on her' or what but it was nice to see. Most people don't give a sh**.

Honey-ec · 25-09-2008 12:50PM

Yeah, my parents live in an end house and one night when I was about 14 I was sitting in my room with the window open and could hear what sounded like a couple having the mother of all fights. After a minute or two the guy obviously stormed off but I could hear the girl still sobbing really badly outside, so I went out the back and down our side entrance, where she was leaning against the side wall. I just asked her if she was ok and if she wanted to come in and use the phone or anything. She just straightened up and wiped her eyes and said no, she was alright, and walked away.

I kind of stood there for a minute wondering if I could do anything else, but at the end of the day, I was 14, she was about 30, so I reckoned she knew what she was doing.

I told my mum about it the next day and she said I'd done the right thing.

Jay P · 25-09-2008 12:52PM

Nothing to do with me so no. If I knew them I would be hard pushed to ask them even, unless it was my girlfriend or my mammy :cool:

javaboy · 25-09-2008 12:56PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

Yeah, my parents live in an end house and one night when I was about 14 I was sitting in my room with the window open and could hear what sounded like a couple having the mother of all fights. After a minute or two the guy obviously stormed off but I could hear the girl still sobbing really badly outside, so I went out the back and down our side entrance, where she was leaning against the side wall. I just asked her if she was ok and if she wanted to come in and use the phone or anything. She just straightened up and wiped her eyes and said no, she was alright, and walked away.

I kind of stood there for a minute wondering if I could do anything else, but at the end of the day, I was 14, she was about 30, so I reckoned she knew what she was doing.

Missed opportunity really. You should have started beatboxing porno music. Boom. Chicka-chicka. Boom-chicka-wa-wa.

Perfect time to seduce and then have your wicked way with her. For shame.

Btw don't bother replying "I'm actually a girl." It's no defense.

Earthhorse · 25-09-2008 01:11PM

whiskeyman wrote: »

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?

Yeah, I was in a similar situation once on the way home from England. Waiting in the departure longue when I saw a girl sitting down who looked a little rattled or beleagured. I wanted to go over and ask was everything okay but what kind of reaction would I have gotten? For all I know asking could have opened the floodgates; she may have been on her way home to a funeral or her boyfriend might have just broken up with her.

Let me be clear; I only want to ask whether everything's okay if the answer's a guaranteed yes.

javaboy wrote: »

I went back and explained that she had just had an operation and there was nothing to worry about...

Typical over-protective boyfriend nonsense.

javaboy · 25-09-2008 01:14PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

Typical over-protective boyfriend nonsense.

Hey the dude was clearly moving in on my lady. Even if he was 50 and presenting very little threat, I had to make it clear that there was an alpha male around.

In all seriousness though, she could hardly talk so I was trying to save her the bother.

Honey-ec · 25-09-2008 01:20PM

javaboy wrote: »

Hey the dude was clearly moving in on my lady. Even if he was 50 and presenting very little threat, I had to make it clear that there was an alpha male around.

Your bad. You should have wee'd on her first, thus clearly marking your territory before leaving her alone.

Vain · 25-09-2008 01:22PM

Iv been told a few time when iv been out in nightclubs ' Smile cheer up your out' Thing is anytime its been said iv been happy out guess im trying too hard to look cool:pac:

Darragh29 · 25-09-2008 01:22PM

A few years ago, I was walking down Westmoreland Street and this woman was lying on her back, I didn't realise she had fallen and was looking for someone to help her up, I thought she was begging and kind of went to walk around her. Next thing she ROARED at me, "Help, I'm not begging I'm fu*king diasbled!".

I never felt like such a pr*ck in my life. She had some motor problem like MS or something like that and couldn't actually get up without help, she was waving a crutch around in the air but had gotten kind of angry with so many people just assuming she was begging and walking around/over her, which fed into my belief that she was begging, because she was angry and she had a hat which had fallen off that I just assumed was for people to throw coppers into...

I went over and helped her up and made sure she was ok and she started crying saying she couldn't believe she lived in a city where people just assumed because she was lying on a path that she was begging, that people had walked past her for 20 minutes, etc, etc.

javaboy · 25-09-2008 01:25PM

Darragh29 wrote: »

A few years ago, I was walking down Westmoreland Street and this woman was lying on her back, I didn't realise she had fallen and was looking for someone to help her up, I thought she was begging and kind of went to walk around her. Next thing she ROARED at me, "Help, I'm not begging I'm fu*king diasbled!"......

My uncle had a brain haemorrhage or something similar and collapsed in the middle of a street years ago in Dublin. Because he had a beard, people assumed he was just a homeless drunk and ignored him for ages. Scary stuff.

Darragh29 · 25-09-2008 01:27PM

javaboy wrote: »

My uncle had a brain haemorrhage or something similar and collapsed in the middle of a street years ago in Dublin. Because he had a beard, people assumed he was just a homeless drunk and ignored him for ages. Scary stuff.

Did he survive? My Dad had an aortic aneurysm a few years ago and was extremely lucky to survive that.

Ross_Mahon · 25-09-2008 01:30PM

Was walking from town to Tallaght one night, And i was just up past Tramco, There was a girl walking along on her own crying to herself, So i just made small talk with her and then asked what happened to her...She got in a fight with one of her friends and they all went off on her.

She was asking me to go to Eddie Rockets with her as her other mates were there, I didn't bother going in, It would be very awkward.

javaboy · 25-09-2008 01:32PM

Darragh29 wrote: »

Did he survive? My Dad had an aortic aneurysm a few years ago and was extremely lucky to survive that.

Yep he survived but wasn't himself for a considerable time afterwards. Tbh I don't know exactly what it was that he had. Scary to think people could walk by you in that state but then you only have to look at that CCTV video from Chicago where people ignored an old man who had been knocked down in front of them.

javaboy · 25-09-2008 01:35PM

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

Was walking from town to Tallaght one night, And i was just up past Tramco, There was a girl walking along on her own crying to herself, So i just made small talk with her and then asked what happened to her...She got in a fight with one of her friends and they all went off on her.

She was asking me to go to Eddie Rockets with her as her other mates were there, I didn't bother going in, It would be very awkward.

Her mates weren't in Eddie Rockets. She was going to get there and look around feigning astonishment that they were nowhere to be seen. Then you two were going to have a romantic burger and garlic fries followed by sexytime.

She probably just felt it would be really weird to be more forward given the situation. Another missed opportunity. Tut tut.

Fizman · 25-09-2008 01:41PM

javaboy wrote: »

Her mates weren't in Eddie Rockets. She was going to get there and look around feigning astonishment that they were nowhere to be seen. Then you two were going to have a romantic burger and garlic fries followed by sexytime.

She probably just felt it would be really weird to be more forward given the situation. Another missed opportunity. Tut tut.

+1

Amateur mistake.

Darragh29 · 25-09-2008 01:44PM

javaboy wrote: »

Yep he survived but wasn't himself for a considerable time afterwards. Tbh I don't know exactly what it was that he had. Scary to think people could walk by you in that state but then you only have to look at that CCTV video from Chicago where people ignored an old man who had been knocked down in front of them.

There was a priest who had a heart attack on the Dart a year or two ago and he collapsed on the platform after getting off the Dart and he wasn't wearing his priests garb and people just stepped over him even though he had just had a heart attack and died. It's a sad sign of the times...

Roadend · 25-09-2008 01:46PM

javaboy wrote: »

Her mates weren't in Eddie Rockets. She was going to get there and look around feigning astonishment that they were nowhere to be seen. Then you two were going to have a romantic burger and garlic fries followed by sexytime.

She probably just felt it would be really weird to be more forward given the situation. Another missed opportunity. Tut tut.

He just didn't like the thought of paying the Eddie Rocket's prices. Awkward indeed....

Darragh29 · 25-09-2008 01:51PM

Fizman wrote: »

+1

Amateur mistake.

+1. Was she decent lookin??? If not, you can redeem yourself here!

Earthhorse · 25-09-2008 01:52PM

javaboy wrote: »

Hey the dude was clearly moving in on my lady. Even if he was 50 and presenting very little threat, I had to make it clear that there was an alpha male around.

Ah, you didn't mention that the checkout boy was around. My bad.

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

She was asking me to go to Eddie Rockets with her as her other mates were there, I didn't bother going in, It would be very awkward.

Expensive too. Especially if you're the kinda guy who has to walk from town to Tallaght.

javaboy · 25-09-2008 01:58PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

Ah, you didn't mention that the checkout boy was around. My bad.

Ow you got me right in the manhood there 'Hoss.

Earthhorse · 25-09-2008 02:05PM

A small target. But my aim is true.

engrish? · 25-09-2008 02:11PM

whiskeyman wrote: »

Was on bus home last night, when this guy, same age as myself , gets on. He was just wearing jeans and t-shirt and carrying an old sports bag. He didn't look homeless or rough, but he looked worn down and worn out.
He shuffled slowly toward his seat, and carefully sat down... he looked genuinely in shock or as if dealing with so many bad thoughts in his head.
Even his head was stooped low, as if to avoid all contact.
His movement was slow, and he had his head resting on his arm for most of the journey... occasionally looking up for his stop.
It's hard to describe, but I've never seen anyone so down and shaken by something.
I was going to ask him if he was ok, but he then got up and got off the bus before I had built up the courage to ask him.

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?
He could have told me to 'GTFO!', or 'mind you own business'... or it could have been exactly what he needed... someone to talk to... but I don't even know him! It's been playing on my mind all day. I wish I could have helped him... not that I even know anything big was wrong??

I know AH is probably the worst place to post this, but I just wonder would anyone, or has anyone, actually been in a similar position and asked if a stranger was ok?
What happened next?

Oh, and minus points for 'yeah, I asked yore ma if she was ok last night!!' shhhwwwweeerrr!!!'

He was probably stoned.

I was really hungover, walking out of McDonalds recently when a girl ran over to me and asked me if I wanted a hug. Talk about perfect timing..... Felt brilliant, she didnt expect the bum squeeze.

Nalz · 25-09-2008 02:11PM

yes , all the time. Its my pulling technique

I've never pulled with it tho

javaboy · 25-09-2008 02:14PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

A small target. But my aim is true.

Zing! My confidence is in tatters now. Thanks a bunch.

Overheal · 25-09-2008 02:14PM

Talking to random strangers is just more stress, tbh.

Earthhorse · 25-09-2008 02:15PM

javaboy wrote: »

Zing! My confidence is in tatters now. Thanks a bunch.

Are you okay?

Darragh29 · 25-09-2008 02:20PM

This cu*t came up to be at the corner of Middle Abbey a while ago and asked me was I alright and did I want to go into a shop and do an interview to become a Scientologist???

engrish? · 25-09-2008 02:21PM

Just thought of one that has to get me into heaven......

Was walking down Nassau st on the way to a party when I saw a girl passed out, bum on the ground, knees in the air with her head inbetween her legs after puking. Knickers on show obviously.

Long story short, we (three lads) stopped, got her mumbleing enough to say she lived in greystones, hailed a taxi and I gave the taxi driver £50 to drive her back. He reckoned the fair was about £25 so another £25 for soilage just in case. She would have had no idea what happened the next day.

Saw her a year or two later working in a bar, I enjoyed opening with the line "Its odd to see you standing and not showing me your knickers."

Ever went up to a random stranger and asked if they were ok?

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