Ever went up to a random stranger and asked if they were ok?

whiskeyman

Was on bus home last night, when this guy, same age as myself , gets on. He was just wearing jeans and t-shirt and carrying an old sports bag. He didn't look homeless or rough, but he looked worn down and worn out.
He shuffled slowly toward his seat, and carefully sat down... he looked genuinely in shock or as if dealing with so many bad thoughts in his head.
Even his head was stooped low, as if to avoid all contact.
His movement was slow, and he had his head resting on his arm for most of the journey... occasionally looking up for his stop.
It's hard to describe, but I've never seen anyone so down and shaken by something.
I was going to ask him if he was ok, but he then got up and got off the bus before I had built up the courage to ask him.

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?
He could have told me to 'GTFO!', or 'mind you own business'... or it could have been exactly what he needed... someone to talk to... but I don't even know him! It's been playing on my mind all day. I wish I could have helped him... not that I even know anything big was wrong??

I know AH is probably the worst place to post this, but I just wonder would anyone, or has anyone, actually been in a similar position and asked if a stranger was ok?
What happened next?

Oh, and minus points for 'yeah, I asked yore ma if she was ok last night!!' shhhwwwweeerrr!!!'

kaimera

Are you ok?

whiskeyman

kaimera wrote: »

Are you ok?

Yes.

Please go about your usual business good man.

Good day to you.


:pac:

javaboy

I have in the past. The other day I was in Superquinn with my gf. She had just had wisdom teeth out and was in pain and had a swollen jaw. She was sitting down while I went to get her water and some guy in his 40s/50s asked her if she was ok. I went back and explained that she had just had an operation and there was nothing to worry about but he wasn't happy until he heard it from her.

I don't know if he thought I was 'beating up on her' or what but it was nice to see. Most people don't give a sh**.

Honey-ec

Yeah, my parents live in an end house and one night when I was about 14 I was sitting in my room with the window open and could hear what sounded like a couple having the mother of all fights. After a minute or two the guy obviously stormed off but I could hear the girl still sobbing really badly outside, so I went out the back and down our side entrance, where she was leaning against the side wall. I just asked her if she was ok and if she wanted to come in and use the phone or anything. She just straightened up and wiped her eyes and said no, she was alright, and walked away.

I kind of stood there for a minute wondering if I could do anything else, but at the end of the day, I was 14, she was about 30, so I reckoned she knew what she was doing.

I told my mum about it the next day and she said I'd done the right thing.

Jay P

Nothing to do with me so no. If I knew them I would be hard pushed to ask them even, unless it was my girlfriend or my mammy :cool:

javaboy

Honey-ec wrote: »

Yeah, my parents live in an end house and one night when I was about 14 I was sitting in my room with the window open and could hear what sounded like a couple having the mother of all fights. After a minute or two the guy obviously stormed off but I could hear the girl still sobbing really badly outside, so I went out the back and down our side entrance, where she was leaning against the side wall. I just asked her if she was ok and if she wanted to come in and use the phone or anything. She just straightened up and wiped her eyes and said no, she was alright, and walked away.

I kind of stood there for a minute wondering if I could do anything else, but at the end of the day, I was 14, she was about 30, so I reckoned she knew what she was doing.

Missed opportunity really. You should have started beatboxing porno music. Boom. Chicka-chicka. Boom-chicka-wa-wa.

Perfect time to seduce and then have your wicked way with her. For shame.

Btw don't bother replying "I'm actually a girl." It's no defense.

Earthhorse

whiskeyman wrote: »

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?

Yeah, I was in a similar situation once on the way home from England. Waiting in the departure longue when I saw a girl sitting down who looked a little rattled or beleagured. I wanted to go over and ask was everything okay but what kind of reaction would I have gotten? For all I know asking could have opened the floodgates; she may have been on her way home to a funeral or her boyfriend might have just broken up with her.

Let me be clear; I only want to ask whether everything's okay if the answer's a guaranteed yes.

javaboy wrote: »

I went back and explained that she had just had an operation and there was nothing to worry about...

Typical over-protective boyfriend nonsense.

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Typical over-protective boyfriend nonsense.

Hey the dude was clearly moving in on my lady. Even if he was 50 and presenting very little threat, I had to make it clear that there was an alpha male around.


In all seriousness though, she could hardly talk so I was trying to save her the bother.

Honey-ec

javaboy wrote: »

Hey the dude was clearly moving in on my lady. Even if he was 50 and presenting very little threat, I had to make it clear that there was an alpha male around.

Your bad. You should have wee'd on her first, thus clearly marking your territory before leaving her alone.

Vain

Iv been told a few time when iv been out in nightclubs ' Smile cheer up your out' Thing is anytime its been said iv been happy out guess im trying too hard to look cool:pac:

Darragh29

A few years ago, I was walking down Westmoreland Street and this woman was lying on her back, I didn't realise she had fallen and was looking for someone to help her up, I thought she was begging and kind of went to walk around her. Next thing she ROARED at me, "Help, I'm not begging I'm fu*king diasbled!".

I never felt like such a pr*ck in my life. She had some motor problem like MS or something like that and couldn't actually get up without help, she was waving a crutch around in the air but had gotten kind of angry with so many people just assuming she was begging and walking around/over her, which fed into my belief that she was begging, because she was angry and she had a hat which had fallen off that I just assumed was for people to throw coppers into...

I went over and helped her up and made sure she was ok and she started crying saying she couldn't believe she lived in a city where people just assumed because she was lying on a path that she was begging, that people had walked past her for 20 minutes, etc, etc.

javaboy

Darragh29 wrote: »

A few years ago, I was walking down Westmoreland Street and this woman was lying on her back, I didn't realise she had fallen and was looking for someone to help her up, I thought she was begging and kind of went to walk around her. Next thing she ROARED at me, "Help, I'm not begging I'm fu*king diasbled!"......

My uncle had a brain haemorrhage or something similar and collapsed in the middle of a street years ago in Dublin. Because he had a beard, people assumed he was just a homeless drunk and ignored him for ages. Scary stuff.

Darragh29

javaboy wrote: »

My uncle had a brain haemorrhage or something similar and collapsed in the middle of a street years ago in Dublin. Because he had a beard, people assumed he was just a homeless drunk and ignored him for ages. Scary stuff.

Did he survive? My Dad had an aortic aneurysm a few years ago and was extremely lucky to survive that.

Ross_Mahon

Was walking from town to Tallaght one night, And i was just up past Tramco, There was a girl walking along on her own crying to herself, So i just made small talk with her and then asked what happened to her...She got in a fight with one of her friends and they all went off on her.

She was asking me to go to Eddie Rockets with her as her other mates were there, I didn't bother going in, It would be very awkward.

javaboy

Darragh29 wrote: »

Did he survive? My Dad had an aortic aneurysm a few years ago and was extremely lucky to survive that.

Yep he survived but wasn't himself for a considerable time afterwards. Tbh I don't know exactly what it was that he had. Scary to think people could walk by you in that state but then you only have to look at that CCTV video from Chicago where people ignored an old man who had been knocked down in front of them.

javaboy

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

Was walking from town to Tallaght one night, And i was just up past Tramco, There was a girl walking along on her own crying to herself, So i just made small talk with her and then asked what happened to her...She got in a fight with one of her friends and they all went off on her.

She was asking me to go to Eddie Rockets with her as her other mates were there, I didn't bother going in, It would be very awkward.

Her mates weren't in Eddie Rockets. She was going to get there and look around feigning astonishment that they were nowhere to be seen. Then you two were going to have a romantic burger and garlic fries followed by sexytime.

She probably just felt it would be really weird to be more forward given the situation. Another missed opportunity. Tut tut.

Fizman

javaboy wrote: »

Her mates weren't in Eddie Rockets. She was going to get there and look around feigning astonishment that they were nowhere to be seen. Then you two were going to have a romantic burger and garlic fries followed by sexytime.

She probably just felt it would be really weird to be more forward given the situation. Another missed opportunity. Tut tut.

+1

Amateur mistake.

Darragh29

javaboy wrote: »

Yep he survived but wasn't himself for a considerable time afterwards. Tbh I don't know exactly what it was that he had. Scary to think people could walk by you in that state but then you only have to look at that CCTV video from Chicago where people ignored an old man who had been knocked down in front of them.

There was a priest who had a heart attack on the Dart a year or two ago and he collapsed on the platform after getting off the Dart and he wasn't wearing his priests garb and people just stepped over him even though he had just had a heart attack and died. It's a sad sign of the times...

Roadend

javaboy wrote: »

Her mates weren't in Eddie Rockets. She was going to get there and look around feigning astonishment that they were nowhere to be seen. Then you two were going to have a romantic burger and garlic fries followed by sexytime.

She probably just felt it would be really weird to be more forward given the situation. Another missed opportunity. Tut tut.

He just didn't like the thought of paying the Eddie Rocket's prices. Awkward indeed....

Darragh29

Fizman wrote: »

+1

Amateur mistake.

+1. Was she decent lookin??? If not, you can redeem yourself here!

Earthhorse

javaboy wrote: »

Hey the dude was clearly moving in on my lady. Even if he was 50 and presenting very little threat, I had to make it clear that there was an alpha male around.

Ah, you didn't mention that the checkout boy was around. My bad.

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

She was asking me to go to Eddie Rockets with her as her other mates were there, I didn't bother going in, It would be very awkward.

Expensive too. Especially if you're the kinda guy who has to walk from town to Tallaght.

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Ah, you didn't mention that the checkout boy was around. My bad.

Ow you got me right in the manhood there 'Hoss.

Earthhorse

A small target. But my aim is true.

engrish?

whiskeyman wrote: »

Was on bus home last night, when this guy, same age as myself , gets on. He was just wearing jeans and t-shirt and carrying an old sports bag. He didn't look homeless or rough, but he looked worn down and worn out.
He shuffled slowly toward his seat, and carefully sat down... he looked genuinely in shock or as if dealing with so many bad thoughts in his head.
Even his head was stooped low, as if to avoid all contact.
His movement was slow, and he had his head resting on his arm for most of the journey... occasionally looking up for his stop.
It's hard to describe, but I've never seen anyone so down and shaken by something.
I was going to ask him if he was ok, but he then got up and got off the bus before I had built up the courage to ask him.

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?
He could have told me to 'GTFO!', or 'mind you own business'... or it could have been exactly what he needed... someone to talk to... but I don't even know him! It's been playing on my mind all day. I wish I could have helped him... not that I even know anything big was wrong??

I know AH is probably the worst place to post this, but I just wonder would anyone, or has anyone, actually been in a similar position and asked if a stranger was ok?
What happened next?

Oh, and minus points for 'yeah, I asked yore ma if she was ok last night!!' shhhwwwweeerrr!!!'

He was probably stoned.

I was really hungover, walking out of McDonalds recently when a girl ran over to me and asked me if I wanted a hug. Talk about perfect timing..... Felt brilliant, she didnt expect the bum squeeze.

Nalz

yes , all the time. Its my pulling technique

I've never pulled with it tho

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

A small target. But my aim is true.

Zing! My confidence is in tatters now. Thanks a bunch.

Overheal

Talking to random strangers is just more stress, tbh.

Earthhorse

javaboy wrote: »

Zing! My confidence is in tatters now. Thanks a bunch.

Are you okay?

Darragh29

This cu*t came up to be at the corner of Middle Abbey a while ago and asked me was I alright and did I want to go into a shop and do an interview to become a Scientologist???

engrish?

Just thought of one that has to get me into heaven......


Was walking down Nassau st on the way to a party when I saw a girl passed out, bum on the ground, knees in the air with her head inbetween her legs after puking. Knickers on show obviously.

Long story short, we (three lads) stopped, got her mumbleing enough to say she lived in greystones, hailed a taxi and I gave the taxi driver £50 to drive her back. He reckoned the fair was about £25 so another £25 for soilage just in case. She would have had no idea what happened the next day.

Saw her a year or two later working in a bar, I enjoyed opening with the line "Its odd to see you standing and not showing me your knickers."

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Are you okay?

I know what you're going for there but then we're not just random strangers now are we? Don't tell me that being a friend on my profile page means nothing to you? :eek::(

Earthhorse

Your random and strange though. That's gotta count for something?

dade

yeah on abbey street a few years ago. seen this one crying asked was she OK she said yeah. so escorted her to a taxi and walked of like the good gentle man.

couple of seconds later said taxi stops beside me and the door opened. turns out her favorite rabbit floppsie dies that day. alas i could not provide her with another floppsie but his evil twin brother stiffy

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Your random and strange though. That's gotta count for something?

Two things:

• It's "you're" not "your". "You're" is a contraction of "you are". I wouldn't normally correct that kind of mistake but after the unprovoked attacks on my manhood earlier, I've had to resort to cheap digs.
• Don't start that 'random' crap again.

5starpool

I have both asked and been asked although both are rare events. The first one when I asked (although initially I was trying to chat her up til I saw she was upset - does that count?) was outside O'Briens bar in Melbourne (near the crown, in the shopping centre) about 5 or 6 years ago. Very pretty, but sad girl sitting outside the pub at closing. I ended up taking her home in a taxi after chatting to her for a while trying to cheer her up. She was very pretty so I wish i was less nice at times. Never did meet her again sadly.

Another time I didn't need to ask, this homeless guy in a wheelchair on Stephens green had cut his wrists and there were pools of blood on the ground, quite freaky. Ended up calling an ambulance for them and once I told them what he looked like and where he was they warned me not to touch him. When they turned up they gave out to him by name so obviously a repeat event.

Another funny time I was in NY on a J1 and on a day off from work and went into Manhattan where a friend went into an a[artment building to apply for a porters job. It was raining and I waited across the street in a little alcove. It was quite a posh area of town with upscale apartment blocks mostly, and I was sat on the ground in a dry bit in the alcove in Jeans, tshirt and runners when a guy passed by me, looked down, then came back and asked if I was ok and if I needed money. Was a very strange situation, but I thought it was funny. Should probably have accepted too, being a student and all that.

Delirium

Was out in a pub a few months ago. Went to head to the toilets, which were downstairs. A guy had fallen on the stairs and was basically falling asleep on the stairs. About 10 people literally climbed over him. Went over to the guy, asked if he was okay. Guy said he was trying to get to the toilets downstairs. Helped the guy down to the toilets.

One of his friends came down to see where his mate had disappeared to. As I was leaving the friend was trying to stop the guy using the urinal as a place to rest his head.:eek:

big b

Can't be arsed with going over specific details, but yes, I've asked many a troubled looking soul if they're Ok over the years.

Been told to eff off, mostly been told "I'm grand, I'll be fine in a minute" & sometimes had someone pour their heart out at what's troubling them.

As time goes on though, I feel less inclined to stop. The feck off merchants, the aggressive junkies, the scroungers & scammers & the out and out feckin Lulu's who inhabit the streets have all conspired to make me both weary & wary. Which is a feckin shame really.
Especially since I was going to say to the OP that he is clearly a decent sort & should offer a shoulder if he thinks the situation warrants it.

Zillah

whiskeyman wrote: »

Was on bus home last night, when this guy, same age as myself , gets on. He was just wearing jeans and t-shirt and carrying an old sports bag. He didn't look homeless or rough, but he looked worn down and worn out.
He shuffled slowly toward his seat, and carefully sat down... he looked genuinely in shock or as if dealing with so many bad thoughts in his head.
Even his head was stooped low, as if to avoid all contact.
His movement was slow, and he had his head resting on his arm for most of the journey... occasionally looking up for his stop.
It's hard to describe, but I've never seen anyone so down and shaken by something.
I was going to ask him if he was ok, but he then got up and got off the bus before I had built up the courage to ask him.

When I thought back, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I asked him?
He could have told me to 'GTFO!', or 'mind you own business'... or it could have been exactly what he needed... someone to talk to... but I don't even know him! It's been playing on my mind all day. I wish I could have helped him... not that I even know anything big was wrong??

THAT IS SO BIZARRE! The very same day I saw a guy just like this break down crying and throw himself in front of a train.

PeakOutput

iv asked strangers are they ok a few times the one that springs to mind was a guy who i just saw get the **** kicked out of him in temple bar and was gushing blood(obviously he wasnt ok) but usually its drunk girls crying / drunk guys getting violently sick

i havnt gotten a bad reaction yet i dont think

Kiera

Yes I’ve asked people if they are ok. If the tell me to F off then fine no biggie but no one actually has. I hate seeing people down. If you’ve got the time and someone looks in a bad way then why not? You might actually put a smile on their face by helping in some way.

Its nice to be nice.

Carsinian Thau

No, I never have.

I can think of a few times when I should have done so though.

My thoughts were along the same line as yours. It's quite likely that they'd tell you to eff off or something.

Dragan

Yeah i've asked a few people over the years, be it working or nights out or just traveling somewhere.

Never had anyone reply badly, had the usual "I'll be okay in a minute" and had two people just pour their heart out when given the opportuinity to talk about it.

Tar.Aldarion

I have both asked and been asked. That shocked slow movement is a good sign that their life has just been ****ed up.
I just say "I'm fine, thanks". Mmm lies!

Quazzie

There was a bunch of us on holidays in Santa Ponza about five years ago and we were all out one night when a few of us headed off home. One guy really needed the toilet so he walked on a bit faster than the rest of the stragglers. We caught up with him about five minutes later and he was beside the pool trying to calm down some girl that he came across that was hysterical. She was very drunk and was crying and screaming. No one knew what was up with her till she started saying she was raped. Long story short we all spent the rest of the night in a Spanish copshop each giving our statement. They still werent believing us till the next morning when the girl turned up and told them it wasn't us. Thats what ye get when ya stop to ask hysterical women 'Are you OK?'

Puddleduck

Yep, Ive asked people if they are ok, its one of the reasons Im so proud of my fella, hes protective over me but hes also a gent and will go over to someone if he thinks theres a problem.

I was out after a night on the drink and was sitting on a windowsill waiting for my bus when a lady and her friend came walking along ****faced, she trips and wallops her head off the windowsill, think she passed out for a sec. So I called an ambulance and stayed with her till it arrived, then she didnt even get in the fekin ambulance

MizzLolly

Yup, on a bus once. There was a girl sitting beside me crying her eyes out. She was wiping her tears away quickly but I heard her sniffling and seen that she was crying. I asked her was she alright. Would have been weird not to since she was sitting right next to me and was clearly upset.


She ended up telling me everything that was bothering her, everything! I think it was good for her too because by the time she got off, she was smiling again!

*adele*

I was having an argument with my dad and he was driving along beside me and I must have looked really upset, because these two women stopped walking (probably thinking he was some stranger following me)until they I told them it was just my dad. I have to say I really appreciated the fact that the stopped and made sure I was ok. It could have been a lifesaver in a different situation

Ross_Mahon

Earthhorse wrote: »

Expensive too. Especially if you're the kinda guy who has to walk from town to Tallaght.

Your right there boss, I cant be eating expensive food or getting taxis with the recession in place!

Actually, I was driving to work one day and the car in front of me was stopped and I noticed the woman pulling her unconcious child out of the car, I jumped out and rang a ambulance - nothing too odd there, but when the ambulance came I told the woman to go with her son and I'd drive her car to the hospital, crumlin, then I realised I had nowhere to leave my car and convinced a lady to let me park in her garden, so off I popped up to crumlin, sobbing crying cos I thought the kid was dead (he had just fainted) and when I arrived the ambulance had never come here, had to wait ages to find out that they decided to go to temple st. Then realised I'd no way of getting back to my car! I honestly, honestly thought that this was a perfectly normal thing to do, but when I was telling my friends what happened they thought I was a freak!
oh my god, Im such a poxy do gooder, seriously, I can't be dealing with thinking people aren't ok! I'm the type to pick you up at the bus stop if there's thunder and lightening, although Mr Whoops has warned me not to do that
And with a few drinks on me I'm brutal, making sure everyone is ok and not letting girls leave nightclubs on their own incase they get raped or summit, trying to stop fights, my friend keeps telling me I can't change the world, but when I'm drunk, I'm like, eh, yeh I can, why can't I!
oh f**k I'm so sad aren't I?
So yes, the answer is, yes, I would ask someone if they're ok, haven't been told to piddle off yet! (sorry went a tad off subject there)

Yes I have, earlier in the year I was on a bus when one of the passengers tried to attack the driver. When I was getting off I asked him if he was ok, I wasn't the only one who did either. It really opened me up to the crap bus drivers have to deal with when they're only doing their job.