PI Special - Desperate Biogiocal Clock Ticking Whore

godtabh · 17-09-2008 03:10PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

PI threads ( no matter how trolltastic) are not fodder for thread on other forums.
IF the PI mods hand of wanted it posted here we would have moved it here.
AH mods please lock this thread.

It’s been posted on a public forum. Regardless of whether or not its taking the piss it’s still open for discussion. Just because you don’t deem it appropriate for discussion else where doesn’t mean it doesn’t warrant discussion.

Lighten up a bit

monkeyfudge · 17-09-2008 03:12PM

Dudess wrote: »

You've called me dubes a few times. Nah, I'm not in my mid 30s or single... and I don't drink beer

But do you eat coleslaw on chips? That's the question.

I've always wondered why I make a point of putting on my own condom... now I know why.

Mitch Connor · 17-09-2008 03:12PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

All thread in PI which are active are to be treated as serious and no one knows how many people reading the thread will benefit from the advice or someone googling about similar issues later on.

IF you think a thread is not kosher report it.

It is not an active PI thread - it is locked, thus inactive.

John Mason · 17-09-2008 03:13PM

sure what's a girl to do - its the only way to catch and keep a man these days

WindSock · 17-09-2008 03:13PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

All thread in PI which are active

Even if the thread is locked?

Edit: Doh. Forot to hit refresh.

meditraitor · 17-09-2008 03:13PM

I am a bubbly, outgoing curvy chick in her early 30s. I like the few pints and the bit of craic, but I'm starting to want something more. Have been doing the whole pubs 'n' clubs thing for years, looking to meet someone and all I've ended up with is a beer belly and a lot of bad memories, so I thought I'd give the old Internet dating ago - like who hasn't??!! I got a lot of responses from obviously creepy guys and went out on a couple of disastrous dates that I don't want to think about again, but then a guy got in contact who looked - gasp! - like quite a good catch. We arranged to meet up last Friday and, for the first time in a long time, I was actually looking forward to it, and was getting quite nervous about it as I really hoped it would work out. I took extra care getting ready and putting on my slap, and then we met. He was funny, charming and a gentleman, and I thought to myself, He could be the one. I'm going to go for it!!

The walk back to his place confirmed it in my mind. He was so considerate and got me some coleslaw chips as I was getting hungry again. Then we got to his house and it was just gorgeous!!! I thought to myself, I can't let this one slip through my fingers. I open a lot of post at work, so I have an extra long and sharp thumbnail - better than any letter opener, girls! - and (I'm a bit ashamed to admit this) under the pretext of guiding him in with my hand, I used my nail to slit the little bubble part of the condom. The funny thing was though, as soon as we were finished in bed, he completely stopped being a gentleman and practically threw me out of his house!!!

Long story short, I've just come from the doctor's and I'm pregnant!!! Question is, what is my next move? I know at a minimum I can go to court and get a settlement from him, but I think I could make husband material out of him. What should I do? I am so happy, but also so confused...

Jesus.....**** meself there for a minute but I know for a fact it was a taco chips I bought and I have the stains to prove it.

godtabh · 17-09-2008 03:13PM

Tauren wrote: »

It is not an active PI thread - it is locked, thus inactive.

Nice

Boston · 17-09-2008 03:14PM

monkeyfudge wrote: »

But do you eat coleslaw on chips? That's the question.

I've always wondered why I make a point of putting on my own condom... now I know why.

Can hardly expect the monkey to put it on!

Roadend · 17-09-2008 03:14PM

irishbird wrote: »

sure what's a girl to do - its the only way to catch and keep a man these days

Have you considered using a large net?

Sherifu · 17-09-2008 03:15PM

Lulz were had.

Silenceisbliss · 17-09-2008 03:15PM

monkeyfudge wrote: »

But do you eat coleslaw on chips? That's the question.

I've always wondered why I make a point of putting on my own condom... now I know why.

no no no no, YOU put on your own condom because youve no one else to put it on for you, and yore ma is gettin sick of doin it....

haha, sorry....I had to

monkeyfudge · 17-09-2008 03:16PM

Boston wrote: »

Can hardly expect the monkey to put it on!

If you can teach an octopus to unscrew a jam jar then you can teach a monkey to put a condom on.

WindSock · 17-09-2008 03:17PM

Octopi don't learn that, they figure it out themselves. Octopi > Monkeys

orestes · 17-09-2008 03:18PM

WindSock wrote: »

Octopi don't learn that, they figure it out themselves. Octopi > Monkeys

Oh crap, now you've done it

Mitch Connor · 17-09-2008 03:18PM

It couldn't be that hard to teach a monkey - they are already good at hanling bananas - only 2 steps away on my learning plan.

John Mason · 17-09-2008 03:19PM

Roadend wrote: »

Have you considered using a large net?

hmmm, i did think of that but "the collector" kept coming back to me

cornbb · 17-09-2008 03:19PM

I'm pretty sure a large proportion of PI threads are started by trolls.

Fajitas! · 17-09-2008 03:20PM

Didn't someone post something from the male perspective about this the other day (In AH)? I distinctively remember the colesaw chips. Eugh.

*calls shenanigans*

Gyalist · 17-09-2008 03:21PM

This must be the quickest confirmed pregnancy in history. Woman goes out on Friday night and is able to have it confirmed just a few days later that she is pregnant. Lots of very gullible people here.

John Mason · 17-09-2008 03:22PM

cornbb wrote: »

I'm pretty sure a large proportion of PI threads are started by trolls.

i have to agree with you on this point.

i mean serious can there be that many stupid people in the world and they all found boards.ie at the same time!!!

it has to be trolls

Roadend · 17-09-2008 03:23PM

Gyalist wrote: »

This must be the quickest confirmed pregnancy in history. Woman goes out on Friday night and is able to have it confirmed just a few days later that she is pregnant. Lots of very gullible people here.

She knew she was pregnant when her stomach got bigger

Dudess · 17-09-2008 03:24PM

Again, for those who missed it, it's obviously something to do with this (an excerpt from an After Hours post on the thread "The Minger's Manifesto" by the user scr - maybe an alt account of Twitching Anus's):

Besides, ugly women can be fun, I spent a thrilling evening with one last Friday night. I had a lot of drink on board at the time, so the combination of low lighting, makeup and hair dye fooled me into believing she was, well, average looking (topic for future thread - the inherent deviousness of women? The vile trickery of women?).

She came back to my house; I enticed her with the promise of a half a bottle of vodka and kept her amused during the journey with 2 servings of coleslaw chips. We had 30 minutes of passion before she left (I gave her 10 quid for a taxi).
I woke up the next day feeling great, all it cost me was a little self loathing which I quickly put out of mind and a mild feeling that my home had been sullied or dirtied by my guest having been there, but a brief word to my cleaner soon put that to rights.

Anyway I hope ugly women will read this and no longer feel that society is rejecting them or that they are in some way useless.

Sherifu · 17-09-2008 03:24PM

cornbb wrote: »

I'm pretty sure a large proportion of PI threads are started by trolls.

Nevar!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Agreed)

kaimera · 17-09-2008 03:25PM

Roadend wrote: »

She knew she was pregnant when her stomach got bigger

that was the chips

Dudess · 17-09-2008 03:26PM

irishbird wrote: »

hmmm, i did think of that but "the collector" kept coming back to me

(The younger) Terence Stamp wouldn't have to use chloroform on me...

monkeyfudge · 17-09-2008 03:26PM

WindSock wrote: »

Octopi don't learn that, they figure it out themselves. Octopi > Monkeys

No way... you have to teach them... but they don't have much of a memory... so you have to teach them every day.

Either way it spells doom for the males of the human species once women figure out they can just have an octopus about the house to open things.

Sherifu · 17-09-2008 03:26PM

Dudess wrote: »

Again, for those who missed it, it's obviously something to do with this (an excerpt from an After Hours post on the thread "The Minger's Manifesto" by the user scr - maybe an alt account of Twitching Anus's):

Someone is quite the storyteller.

Turd Ferguson · 17-09-2008 03:27PM

kaimera wrote: »

that was the chips

Maybe the chips are pregnant?

JIZZLORD · 17-09-2008 03:27PM

www.compsoc.nuigalway.ie/~c0lmjl/rofl.jpg

godtabh · 17-09-2008 03:31PM

Dudess wrote: »

Again, for those who missed it, it's obviously something to do with this (an excerpt from an After Hours post on the thread "The Minger's Manifesto" by the user scr - maybe an alt account of Twitching Anus's):

I never thought for one minute this thread had any truth to it but can you just imagine it was true

PI Special - Desperate Biogiocal Clock Ticking Whore

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