Parents and a will

Ruu_Old · 01-09-2008 02:01AM #1

Well my folks are getting on in years and last time I was home, I brought up the subject. They don't have one made out or decided on where the house, etc is going to go yet. This is because my siblings all have homes of their own and they are unsure of other items in the household. I think everything will get sold and split up, even though I would like someone in the family to keep the home and would say most would. My father's family didn't have one and he was left to scrap it out with his brothers (neither of which we talk to anymore), I guess this must be an Irish thing.:) Do your folks have one and how did you bring it up if they didn't? I just asked straight out.

amacachi · 01-09-2008 02:03AM

What's to row about? Sell the ****, split the cash evenly.

Kintarō Hattori · 01-09-2008 02:14AM

The parents decided many years ago that the house would be sold and the money then split between the kids. They then said last year that they were going to give the house to the oldest of us (41) who's still living at home with the parents, unemployed doing very little while we've all tried to make something of our lives.

It doesn't bother me so much but the reason they did it does.

donegal11 · 01-09-2008 02:33AM

amacachi wrote: »

What's to row about? Sell the ****, split the cash evenly.

parents may want to keep the home within the family

amacachi · 01-09-2008 02:35AM

Yeah, leave it to the kids. The kids should sell it and split the cash. Or if one or more want to stay in it, get it valued and those staying in it pay the rest of the value to those not living in it.

If only.

celticcutie · 01-09-2008 02:37AM

There's been murder in my family over property. Although it's nice to keep the family home in the family there's no way that can be done amicably unless the person who wants to live there can afford to buy the other siblings out. I say sell it and split it - at least that way everyone will still end up talking to each other :P

amacachi · 01-09-2008 02:39AM

Yeah, it is amazing in this family how common sense and fairness go out the window when it comes to a bit of land.

celticcutie · 01-09-2008 02:41AM

I've never seen anything like it. Tears families apart. It's not just about the money I suppose - it's often about recongition and treating siblings fairly. Perceptions can be very different all round. Best lay it all out evenly. Nothings worth breaking up a family

FunkZ · 01-09-2008 02:43AM

amacachi wrote: »

Yeah, it is amazing in this family how common sense and fairness go out the window when it comes to a bit of land.

Tis dead sneaky

Dave147 · 01-09-2008 02:50AM

Parents are in their mid fifties and there's 4 of us, 2 boys 2 girls.. It sounds simple, sell everything and split it. Firstly I hate even thinking about my parents dying, spent most of my life in this house and this town, I'd find it very hard to not have a 'home' as such. We also have a pub, I reckon my dad could pass it on to me as I basically run it, or he could sell it. I would rather work for my living so I think I'd prefer him selling it and putting the money in funds for his grandchildren or something.

Hopefully my parents have at least 30 years so I think that's all I'll speak about the subject for at least 20 years!

donegal11 · 01-09-2008 02:53AM

divided equally may not be as fair as it seems take an example of a farmer with three children ,two of which at the age of 18 leave and set up lives away from home and the other stays and helps on the farm.would it be fair to divide it equally among the three children?

thefinalstage · 01-09-2008 05:28AM

MY parents are going to hock everything when we all move out and get stoned until they die. Good plan.

One Cold Hand · 01-09-2008 05:51AM

Yeah my wrinklies have made their will. I don't know exactly whats in it, but I'm pretty sure everything would be split even between me and my sibling.

If funny how many famlies in Ireland have massive arguements over wills. I guess wills are pretty complicated and people can get bitter if they feel they haven't been looked after in the will. There's other things too, like when to sell the house: some people want to keep it for a while, while others want to sell up straight away a get the cash.

MagicMarker · 01-09-2008 05:55AM

It's all being left to the dog.

c - 13 · 01-09-2008 05:55AM

My parent dont have a will either but they told me years ago (I was probably 18 at the time ?) that when they kick it everything is to be divided between the three of us. If one of us decides to buy the other two out though and keep the house thats cool too.

Overheal · 01-09-2008 06:25AM

My stepmother never had a will and I bet she regrets it a bit now!

My dad only has a will for his Irish Assets. I doubt my mother has one. Not many people look forward to writing out their wills.

KnifeWRENCH · 01-09-2008 06:41AM

I think my parents have one, I haven't asked them about it though.

There's 3 of us in the family, myself and two older sisters. I think the house would probably be sold and the money split between us because I can't imagine any of us remaining iving there. I assume we'd all get the same, but tbh I wouldn't mind if my oldest sister got a bit more because she has her own family now.

spurious · 01-09-2008 06:50AM

My parents sat us down a good few years ago and asked two of us to be executors and explained what that meant. I've no idea what's in the will - it's their business what they want to do with their stuff. They have given me more than enough, if they want to leave it all to the dog pound, I have no problem with that.

Red Hand · 01-09-2008 07:31AM

Jesus, is it only me, or does anybody else find this subject matter a bit weird?

I never think of "who will get the house". I don't think about wills or anything like that, don't want to think about it. For Christ sake, it's not like most of us own a titled manor worth 15 million. I must be judgemental, but anybody thinking about wills when the parent isn't even dead just seems very callous to me.

Irishcrx · 01-09-2008 08:29AM

I was left half a share in a house in my grandads will when I was 12, there was absulute murder getting it sorted out when I turned 21 I wanted to keep it in the family so I bought the other half out at an unfair price and was left with 20 k worth of damage to repair through lack of care over the years..

Quazzie · 01-09-2008 10:27AM

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

The parents decided many years ago that the house would be sold and the money then split between the kids. They then said last year that they were going to give the house to the oldest of us (41) who's still living at home with the parents, unemployed doing very little while we've all tried to make something of our lives.

It doesn't bother me so much but the reason they did it does.

Do ya not think that its fair that your brother gets to stay in the house that he was born into and grew up in and called home for all his life?

Quality · 01-09-2008 10:32AM

My parents will have everything split equally between the children.

But I wonder if it is surviving children only? I mean if I died before them.. would my children get my share?

The oldest granddaughter will get my mams wedding ring, as is tradition in my family.

I would hope to get the photos... I love pictures..

Caoimhín · 01-09-2008 10:34AM

I have seen so many families split up and fall out over land, property and inheritance.

Its hard but it is best to sort these things out as soon as possible.

01-09-2008 10:53AM

This post has been deleted.

Kintarō Hattori · 01-09-2008 11:22AM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

Do ya not think that its fair that your brother gets to stay in the house that he was born into and grew up in and called home for all his life?

He's 41 and still living at home. He hasn't worked in the last year. He had a great opportunity handed to him and could have been better off than any of the other kids. Instead he spent what he earned down in the pub every weekend. Everyone else got off of their ass's, got jobs and started families.

Now don't get me wrong. Their decision is their decision and I've never asked them for anything in my life but what annoys me about it all is their reason for giving him the house, reasons which I won't go into here.

thelordofcheese · 01-09-2008 11:38AM

I've already told my siblings that my share of the will can be bought for a nice sandwich.

I'm considering it an acid test for just how stupid and/or greedy some of them are. But on the plus side, free sandwich!

Tricity Bendix · 01-09-2008 12:05PM

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Jesus, is it only me, or does anybody else find this subject matter a bit weird?

I never think of "who will get the house". I don't think about wills or anything like that, don't want to think about it. For Christ sake, it's not like most of us own a titled manor worth 15 million. I must be judgemental, but anybody thinking about wills when the parent isn't even dead just seems very callous to me.

I'd prefer to seem callous now than fall out with my siblings further later on. You mightn't want to think about it, but one day you will be forced to think about it. The loss of a parent is hugely traumatic, there is no need to add to that trauma by adding uncertainty over inheritance.

Honey-ec · 01-09-2008 12:21PM

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

Do ya not think that its fair that your brother gets to stay in the house that he was born into and grew up in and called home for all his life?

Actually, I think it's ridiculously unfair that one lazy good for nothing gets massively rewarded for his inability to function as a grown-up while the rest of his siblings who actually made something of themselves are left with nothing...

Terry · 01-09-2008 12:29PM

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Jesus, is it only me, or does anybody else find this subject matter a bit weird?

I never think of "who will get the house". I don't think about wills or anything like that, don't want to think about it. For Christ sake, it's not like most of us own a titled manor worth 15 million. I must be judgemental, but anybody thinking about wills when the parent isn't even dead just seems very callous to me.

It's an Irish thing, much like the way we are raised to believe that we have to buy a house.

It goes back to the penal laws, when Catholics were not allowed to own land.
Once we could own land, we got it and held onto it.

I've seen a lot of families fall out over the family home and it's never a good thing, so it is best to get it sorted with a will.

My Father's family no longer speak to me because I was left my family home. They felt they were somehow entitled to a share of it. I've no idea why, nor do I really care. It's mine and that's that.

If one family member wants to keep the home, then they should pay a reasonable (but not excessive) price to the other members.

My cousins did this and it worked out well for them.

The parents should step in with a will so that greed doesn't get in the way.

marti101 · 01-09-2008 12:46PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

Actually, I think it's ridiculously unfair that one lazy good for nothing gets massively rewarded for his inability to function as a grown-up while the rest of his siblings who actually made something of themselves are left with nothing...

Actually if the parents live for another 30 years,its usually the person who stays in the house looks after them.In that case he deserves the house otherwise the house will be sold so the parents can be looked after in a home.I know what id do id sell the house now and retire and feck off somewhere.P[roblem solved.

WindSock · 01-09-2008 12:46PM

Threads like these just remind me to get the family together while we are all still here and have a pow-wow on who gets what and finalise it properly with a will. the sooner the better, methinks.

Parents and a will

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