Lads Holiday - Did he cheat?

Karen_* · 21-08-2008 12:49PM

Being tempted is very different to giving in to temptation.

not yet · 21-08-2008 12:55PM

Karen_* wrote: »

Being tempted is very different to giving in to temptation.

True.........but in my honsest opinion most lads will stray at some stage.....sad I know but there you go.

Bye the way I also think woman are just as bad.

Karen_* · 21-08-2008 12:58PM

Well I have to say I disagree with you. I don't think the majority of people do stray and that includes men. There's nothing to suggest that the Op's boyfriend did anything on the holiday and she's most likely worrying about nothing.

But if she's looking for something hard enough then she'll eventually find something even if what she finds is not how it seems.

Aurora Borealis · 21-08-2008 01:01PM

not yet wrote: »

True.........but in my honsest opinion most lads will stray at some stage.....sad I know but there you go.

Bye the way I also think woman are just as bad.

God I really hope you're wrong. Why do people bother to stay in relationships if they clearly want other people. It boogles the mind!

I for one have never stayed in a relationship if I have been tempted.

Cuddlesworth · 21-08-2008 01:01PM

Karen_* wrote: »

Well I have to say I disagree with you. I don't think the majority of people do stray and that includes men. There's nothing to suggest that the Op's boyfriend did anything on the holiday and she's most likely worrying about nothing.

But if she's looking for something hard enough then she'll eventually find something even if what she finds is not how it seems.

So what you are saying it that if you look hard enough at your partner you will automatically find them cheating on you? You have some serious trust issues.

Karen_* · 21-08-2008 01:07PM

No Cuddlesworth I'm saying that if you're obsessed that your partner might be cheating and you're constantly checking up on them and worrying then eventually you'll find something that causes you concern whether it be a remark by a friend on their bebo site or a text message or whatever. You'll get all upset over such a thing like a remark and it won't necessarily mean they are cheating at all. Go looking hard enough and you'll find something. But you'll probably be wrong.

chump · 21-08-2008 01:08PM

Dragan wrote: »

I disagree. Or maybe it's just the way a secure human mind works. When i am in a relationship with someone it would never enter my head that they would cheat on me.

This is based on the simple fact that there is not a single circumstance in the world that would make ME cheat on a girlfriend. It's called trust.

If i stand in a room with 9 rapist i'm not there to rape someone.
If i stand in a room with 9 accountants i still won't get the columns to make any sense.
If i stand in a room with 9 drunk lads looking to get laid it sure as **** doesn't mean i am.

Guilty by association i think.

Hah

Dragan every one of your posts makes me wet myself laughing.

I've never come across such a perfectly centered and all round solid guy. Kudos.

OP when you're talking to the lad tonight, why don't you just come out and ask him.
If he says no, you go with that, and get on with it.

Goodluck

BroomBurner · 21-08-2008 01:12PM

not yet wrote: »

True.........but in my honsest opinion most lads will stray at some stage.....sad I know but there you go.

Bye the way I also think woman are just as bad.

Well, maybe a lot of younger men would, but the OP's boyfriend is 30. At 30, most men have got the whole "sowing their wild oats/sleeping around regardless" out of their systems and are a lot more trustworthy than, say, a young guy around 22/23 who hasn't experienced a lot of the world and can't control himself.

OP, stop spying on your boyf and learn to trust him. Until you have an actual admission of guilt, you have to assume innocence. Tbh, at 28, you should know this already.

Dragan · 21-08-2008 01:15PM

chump wrote: »

I've never come across such a perfectly centered and all round solid guy. Kudos.

Cheers! Sadly it all falls apart when you meet me!

In all honesty i have simply made a lot of mistakes, i've thought silly things and have had my jealouse moments. The thing is, i learned from them as i grew older and now i'm a reasonably balanced person.

None of us can hope to be infallable but we can ALL hope to learn from our experiences, even the bad ones and even when they are our own doing.

MIN2511 · 21-08-2008 01:28PM

ASK HIM...

Dont assume anything

BroomBurner · 21-08-2008 01:36PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

ASK HIM...

Dont assume anything

I don't understand why people are giving the OP this advice.

By asking him, OP, you are admitting that you do not trust him. If everything is innocent, then you may destroy your relationship as he will always feel that he can't do anything without you always thinking he's up to something bad.

My advice would be to assume he did not do anything, based on the fact that you do not have any evidence, and forget about the whole thing.

Henry Ford III · 21-08-2008 01:55PM

iblamebebo wrote: »

....I was a little apprehensive about him going, not too much, just a little. I trust him but boys will be boys on these trips and the old 'what happens on the road, stays on the road' rule usually applies. Anyway, off he went and I really missed him. It wasn't a great week for me, I tend to worry a fair bit and I kept picturing him on beaches surrounded by beautiful women, in strip clubs etc. Like I said I do trust him but I will admit I felt uneasy.

Why the apprehension OP? Why the worry? Why the mental images?

We've no idea whether he cheated or not, but your preconceived worries mean that he might as well have regardless.

newballsplease · 21-08-2008 02:44PM

:eek:

Dragan wrote: »

The strength of that logic just cannot be argued with.

Oh, hang on.

:rolleyes:

you dont think he cheated? ur a bigger fool.

newballsplease · 21-08-2008 02:45PM

tell him you caught an std off him!!! that'l **** him up!!

Beruthiel · 21-08-2008 02:49PM

newballsplease
Banned for a week.
B

Big Knox · 21-08-2008 03:03PM

iblamebebo wrote: »

He clearly cheated on me when he was over there.

Unless theres ALOT more to the story I can't see where you worked that one out OP. Thinking too much into it.

not yet · 21-08-2008 03:10PM

Firstly may I ask why newballsplease was or should be banned..................
You see I'm kinda new to this and dont really get the reason.

Back to the bf doing the nasty...... If he did or didn't just forget about it or you'll drive yourself mad.

Marksie · 21-08-2008 03:33PM

not yet wrote: »

Firstly may I ask why newballsplease was or should be banned..................
You see I'm kinda new to this and dont really get the reason.

Back to the bf doing the nasty...... If he did or didn't just forget about it or you'll drive yourself mad.

Breaching the charter in so many aspects. Off topic posting, trolling, abuse.
Take time to have alook at the charter in PI as you are new.

Now back on topic folks

not yet · 21-08-2008 03:40PM

Marksie wrote: »

Breaching the charter in so many aspects. Off topic posting, trolling, abuse.
Take time to have alook at the charter in PI as you are new.

Now back on topic folks

Cool........that'll do me.

LadyE · 21-08-2008 03:44PM

The bebo message doesn’t imply that he cheated..It says that he got drunk and his friend got laid.

The real issue here, imo, is why were you looking for a bebo page for him and why do you not trust him? Insecure or because he gives you reason (beyond the message) that he has?

MIN2511 · 21-08-2008 04:19PM

BroomBurner wrote: »

I don't understand why people are giving the OP this advice.

By asking him, OP, you are admitting that you do not trust him. If everything is innocent, then you may destroy your relationship as he will always feel that he can't do anything without you always thinking he's up to something bad.

My advice would be to assume he did not do anything, based on the fact that you do not have any evidence, and forget about the whole thing.

She saw his bebo page, it worries her(thats why she started this thread)if she wont ignore it then she should ask him!

Rosita · 21-08-2008 04:36PM

LadyE wrote: »

T

The bebo message doesn’t imply that he cheated..It says that he got drunk and his friend got laid.

Clearly the bebo message does imply that he cheated.

The friend's message says:

"I'm still in a heap from the hoilday, must be from all the riding!" - But this does not expressly say that "the riding" was done exclusively by this guy. The only exclusive information claimed is that he is wrecked.

More tellingly perhaps and this has been largely ignored is when he writes:
"Told you we'd tear it up over there no bother. Girls just wanna have fun!"

Why does the "tearing it up" and girls wanting to have fun suddenly become plural?

Only the chap's lawyer could seriously argue that that the message is not deeply suggestive.

Getting away from the message, knowing human nature does anyone seriously think that 10 lads are going to go away to a flesh-pot and behave like eunochs?

05D · 21-08-2008 04:40PM

OP did your OH write back to this message???

Dragan · 21-08-2008 04:49PM

Rosita wrote: »

Getting away from the message, knowing human nature does anyone seriously think that 10 lads are going to go away to a flesh-pot and behave like eunochs?

I reckon at least 9 out of 10 of them would behave badly.

But your right, if a guy with a girlfriend goes away with his mates then he will definitely cheat on her. Most assuredly infact. I know this is a fact because it suits me to do so.

I'd hate to be going out with some of the ladies who have posted here....would be afraid to go out of your sight for fear i might have cheated on you.

Wagon · 21-08-2008 04:55PM

Rosita wrote: »

Getting away from the message, knowing human nature does anyone seriously think that 10 lads are going to go away to a flesh-pot and behave like eunochs?

Oh crap! I've been doing it wrong for years! Here's me going off and being faithful! Well thanks Rosita for your insight. In future ill be sure to throw my knob into a set of local flaps as soon as the plane lands!

seriously love, we're not all scumbags.

Karen_* · 21-08-2008 05:27PM

Wagon you owe me a new keyboard!!:D

OP don't go looking for evidence of cheating, you're only upsetting yourself and you will put two and two together and make five when you do that. I think you're just going to have to assume he was faithful because there's nothing to suggest otherwise. His friend scored and that means...well that his friend scored. And nothing else.

BroomBurner · 21-08-2008 05:38PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

She saw his bebo page, it worries her(thats why she started this thread)if she wont ignore it then she should ask him!

That doesn't mean she should ask him. Women need to bury their crazy side.

Rosita · 21-08-2008 05:47PM

Wagon wrote: »

Oh crap! I've been doing it wrong for years! Here's me going off and being faithful! Well thanks Rosita for your insight. In future ill be sure to throw my knob into a set of local flaps as soon as the plane lands!

seriously love, we're not all scumbags.

Insight?

I merely posed a question that's all.

If you are the coat-holder more luck to you!:D

Rosita · 21-08-2008 05:52PM

Dragan wrote: »

But your right, if a guy with a girlfriend goes away with his mates then he will definitely cheat on her. Most assuredly infact. I know this is a fact because it suits me to do so.

But this is where your argument falls down; it doesn't suit me to know or believe anything in this situation as I have no involvement in it. I couldn't care less really. I simply asked the objective question and inevitably it was responded to by two exemplars of fidelity.

But I have seen many a guy in these places with their eyes out on stalks. Of course we can do the "I'm the pillar of integrity" routine but we can also acknowledge that it is hardly coincidence that groups of single males go to resorts where groups of single and available females frequent. It is not rocket science really. :rolleyes:

tobiesheba · 21-08-2008 05:53PM

It never ceases to amaze me how much people read into everything they see on Bebo.

Firstly I'd imagine your BF's friend wouldn't have left a public comment on his Bebo if your BF had cheated on you while on holidays.

Also for all you know this friend may have agenda... Maybe one of your BF's Bebo friends is an ex and he wants her to know he got some... There are dozens of explanations and in my opinion your boyfriend cheating on you is way down on the list.

Not everything you read on Bebo is gospel, far from it you need to remember that.

Asking him if he cheated will be detrimental to your relationship because asking without any proof is as good as an accusation. But having said that only one can decide if you live without confronting him.

I've guy friends whose girlfriends have taken them on about stuff on their Bebo and to be honest it just gives a hint of bunny boiler to them.

Lads Holiday - Did he cheat?

Comments