Anti-single people??

P.C. · 06-08-2008 09:11PM

Kipperhell wrote: »

Read what I said again.

I said somebody at 35 who has never had a serious relationship is often odd. If you have a had a few and it doesn't work out is pretty normal. Most people who have had serious relationships tend to want them again unless something was seriously wrong.

Age is a big contributor to how being single is seen. If you don't understand why there really is no point explaining.

You DO NEED to explain.

You are saying that someone who is 25 and single is ok.
For that read - 'they still have a chance of finding someone before it is too late'
Above 35 years of age - 'it is too late for them now - odd person'

Some people are happy to be single - leave them be, please.

Why does society feel sorry for single people????

Because they are a threat to the institution of marrage.

Dyr · 06-08-2008 09:13PM

i've had cause to do some thinking about this recently alright, one of my relatives kindly pointed out to me that as im going to hit 35 this year that technically i'll "be a bachelor then" :eek:. It never actually struck me until the last few years that not being hitched would become unusual past a certain age.

My theory is this: By your mid 30s most of your friends are cosying down to their mortages-marriages- kids lifestyle The fact that you aint doing the same makes your singleness stand out for the first time, especially if they all want to do family things together, where you will be (literally) left standing around like a spare mickey. I guess this is when irish peoples assumption that anyone who isnt married by their 30s must be a shirt-lifter/weirdo/paedo etc etc really hits.

Wait till they're in their 40s and their marriage is a sham and the kids hate them, we'll see who's laughing then :pac:

taidghbaby · 06-08-2008 09:14PM

P.C. wrote: »

Why does society feel sorry for single people????

Because they are a threat to the institution of marrage.

society doesnt feel sorry for single people!!

it hates single women!!

REASON: because single women are constantly trying to rob married wimmins' husbands-FACT :rolleyes:

Dudess · 06-08-2008 09:18PM

My theory is this: By your mid 30s most of your friends are cosying down to their mortages-marriages- kids lifestyle The fact that you aint doing the same makes your singleness stand out for the first time, especially if they all want to family things together. I guess this is when irish peoples assumption that anyone who isnt married by their 30s must be a shirt-lifter/weirdo/paedo etc etc really hits.

My uncle's a teacher and got "shirtlifter" comments on rateyourteacher.ie because he was still single in his late 40s.
**** them, he's happily married now with three kids so that's all that matters.

P.C. · 06-08-2008 09:20PM

rubadub wrote: »

Well the government imposes a sly tax on unmarried people, blatantly "anti-single". If you are not getting benefits then you are being taxed more. The whole tax benefit thing should really only apply to married couples with children, if at all. The whole marriage thing is supposed to revolve around kids from the governments view, and some old timers would too, so they would see a woman of 35 getting on and having no kids, but many want that these days. It is other people presuming you want to be married or have kids at a certain age that think you odd, the person themselves probably doesn't give a damn, and would think them odd for having such presumptions.

A lot of people are not having kids these days so I do not see any stigma being attached as much.The older you get the more normal it seems, just like when you were sneaking into pubs at 16 with fake IDs and the bouncer said "over 23s" and you thought, "jesus, 23? I'll be at home knitting at that age."

+1

P.C. · 06-08-2008 09:23PM

Dudess wrote: »

A lot of people are just obsessed with other people pairing up. I like to do a bit of matchmaking myself, but only if I know of two single people whom I think would be ideal for each other.

Put them in a social setting, together, in a group, and see what happens.

I like meeting my friends single female friends - who knows one of them might just be Miss. Right, or Miss Rightnow.

:D

kelle · 06-08-2008 09:24PM

Bambi wrote: »

i've had cause to do some thinking about this recently alright, one of my relatives kindly pointed out to me that as im going to hit 35 this year that technically i'll "be a bachelor then" :eek:. It never actually struck me until the last few years that not being hitched would become unusual past a certain age.

The term Bachelor doesn't sound too bad, but Spinster is really horrible!

nhughes100 · 06-08-2008 09:27PM

Totally agree that society sees single ppl as threats to married life, I'm single and have a friend who's wife hates the sight of me cos she knows it means her husband will be going to the pub without her. She's always trying to hitch me up with her mates so instead of her other half going to the pub we can do more couply things like go for walks and talk about kids all night. Another couple I know in their 40's with kids are breaking up so now he has to get used to the single life, looking after his own place and all that entails and he doesn't know where to start. Imagine being in your 40's and not knowing how to use a washing machine or iron.

Single ppl are more independantly minded and don't conform to the 2.5 children in the semi d in the suburbs. I'm more then happy to be single. Much rather be single then in a dead end relationship that you're hanging onto cos you're afraid to be alone.

Dudess · 06-08-2008 09:29PM

kelle wrote: »

The term Bachelor doesn't sound too bad, but Spinster is really horrible!

Yeah, totally. When I think of "bachelor"... well ok there's the John B Keane bachelor - a sad loner in the middle of the sticks spending every night in by the fire with his ailing auld fella and counting down the days til the farm is his.

But then I also see swanky apartment (bachelor pad), flash car, sharp suits, endless stream of girls...

"Spinster" though - uptight, pinched, nervous loner terrified of men, wearing only heavy long skirts, blouses and cardigans (buttoned to the top) and doing knitting every night while the cats sleep beside her. I mean, even the word - spinster. Makes me think of a spinning wheel.

MIN2511 · 06-08-2008 09:34PM

Another singles are cool thread in AH:rolleyes:

I have friends who are in relationships and sometimes it pisses me off when they say "ah, you are stil single.!!!" like ffs, it's not a crime!

dsmythy · 06-08-2008 09:38PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

Another singles are cool thread in AH:rolleyes:

I have friends who are in relationships and sometimes it pisses me off when they say "ah, you are stil single.!!!" like ffs, it's not a crime!

Yeah that's annoying alright.

"Your still single"
"Oh no let me go off myself at the thought!"

Never got why some people "must be" with someone.

Delirium · 06-08-2008 09:44PM

Personally, I don't understand the idea that at a certain age it becomes weird to be single. This is because my dad was single in early 40s due to the death of my mother. So for me it was weird being in a friends house with two parents.

P.C. · 06-08-2008 09:48PM

MIN2511 wrote: »

Another singles are cool thread in AH:rolleyes:

I have friends who are in relationships and sometimes it pisses me off when they say "ah, you are stil single.!!!" like ffs, it's not a crime!

And I want to ask them - 'are you still together? - with all the fighting, bitching, back stabing - you should hear what you say about one another'.

I am recently single, again.
It is so funny, a few months/weeks ago, people were saying - now that you are in a reltionship, we must get together/go for dinner - now they say - you must be lonely.

Strange!

MIN2511 · 06-08-2008 09:48PM

dsmythy wrote: »

Never got why some people "must be" with someone.

I know a girl that has never been single, from one relationship to another. A few people that i know, i can't remember if they've ever been single before.....

newestUser · 06-08-2008 09:54PM

Kipperhell wrote: »

Read what I said again.

I said somebody at 35 who has never had a serious relationship is often odd. If you have a had a few and it doesn't work out is pretty normal. Most people who have had serious relationships tend to want them again unless something was seriously wrong.

Age is a big contributor to how being single is seen. If you don't understand why there really is no point explaining.

Although I get where you're coming from, you could have phrased it a bit more sensitively.

MIN2511 · 06-08-2008 09:54PM

P.C. wrote: »

And I want to ask them - 'are you still together? - with all the fighting, bitching, back stabing - you should hear what you say about one another'.

I am recently single, again.
It is so funny, a few months/weeks ago, people were saying - now that you are in a reltionship, we must get together/go for dinner - now they say - you must be lonely.

Strange!

True!!!!

kowloon · 06-08-2008 09:59PM

Dudess wrote: »

a sad loner in the middle of the sticks spending every night in by the fire with his ailing auld fella and counting down the days til the farm is his.

But then I also see swanky apartment (bachelor pad), flash car, sharp suits, endless stream of girls...

Is there an option between alienated farmer and arrogant investment banker?
I don't have flash cars or a stream of women and my inheritance is limited to the royal douton with the hand painted periwinkles.

Mossy Monk · 06-08-2008 11:20PM

The single life is awesome.

07-08-2008 12:26AM

rubadub wrote: »

A lot of people are not having kids these days so I do not see any stigma being attached as much.

Really?
I know you hear alot of people on hear saying they don't ever want children.
But frankly they are a long ways away from the day the choice is taken away.

I think friendship is less important to Irish society.
We are extremely family orientated.
I think the quality of your social interaction is lessened if your not a part of that.

BraziliaNZ · 07-08-2008 12:42AM

Apparently not having kids is the best thing to do for the environment, so I'm game for that. In fact I might take it a step further and start murdering kids, maybe Greenpeace will sponsor me and I can quit the day job, just murder children for a living, and for the environment.

captainzapp · 07-08-2008 02:50PM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Apparently not having kids is the best thing to do for the environment, so I'm game for that. In fact I might take it a step further and start murdering kids, maybe Greenpeace will sponsor me and I can quit the day job, just murder children for a living, and for the environment.

interesting... do you do any sort of 2 for 1 deal or kill one, kill the second half price? there are two little bratty kids living in rathmines that throw pebbles at me. I'll foreward you on their address.:D

A_M101 · 07-08-2008 03:38PM

In work at the moment I have to keep typing "signal" as part of some boring dribble I'm involved in, instead I keep accidentally typing "singal" and I think my subconscience is onto something!

Kipperhell · 07-08-2008 06:30PM

P.C. wrote: »

You DO NEED to explain.

You are saying that someone who is 25 and single is ok.
For that read - 'they still have a chance of finding someone before it is too late'
Above 35 years of age - 'it is too late for them now - odd person'

Some people are happy to be single - leave them be, please.

Why does society feel sorry for single people????

Because they are a threat to the institution of marrage.

Actually I don't care to explain because you seem to have difficulty understanding.

I haven't said what you are saying and you are reading into what I said incorrectly. Read what I said again and if you don't understand that is your problem.

If you actually think anybody sees single people as a threat to marriage you are truly misguided. I couldn't care less if somebody is single or not unless I am single myself.

If somebody hasn't been able to have a serious relationship by 35 they are often odd and I stand by that.

P.C. · 07-08-2008 07:58PM

Kipperhell wrote: »

Actually I don't care to explain

OK.

Kipperhell wrote: »

If you actually think anybody sees single people as a threat to marriage you are truly misguided.

As I am not married, and as such, I do not see single people as a threat to marrage, however, I have been told by married people that they see single people as a threat to their marrage.

Kipperhell wrote: »

I couldn't care less if somebody is single or not unless I am single myself.

I see the problem now.

Kipperhell wrote: »

If somebody hasn't been able to have a serious relationship by 35 they are often odd and I stand by that.

It would be quite amusing if you ended up over 35 and single, I wonder if your attitude would still be the same.....

taz30 · 07-08-2008 08:17PM

nope i dont feel sorry for ye!you have it handy,only have to take care of yourselves and do what you want when you want to.you are the boss of the remote and you can sleep in on the weekend!this only counts of course is you dont have kids!i see loads of people stuck in crap relationships that are just going through the motions-to all those singles that waiting for the one -good on ya,why settle for less?

Dudess · 07-08-2008 08:17PM

Kipperhell wrote: »

If somebody hasn't been able to have a serious relationship by 35 they are often odd and I stand by that.

That looks like back-pedalling. Initially you simply said "it's fine to be single at 25, at 35 it looks odd". You didn't qualify that with "if you've never been in a relationship at 35". Do you know many 35-year-olds who've never been in a relationship and are odd? I think that's more of a perception derived from the media. Is it maybe that which gives you the impression? I'm not having a go at you btw.
It's an entirely different discussion anyway. Yes it is very unusual for a person to have never been in a relationship by 35 and yes there's the likelihood they are gonna be odd. Although can you truly back up that assertion? Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if there were quite a few 35-year-olds who had never been in a serious relationship and had only done the casual fling/one-night stand thing over the years.

MIN2511 · 07-08-2008 08:20PM

taz30 wrote: »

nope i dont feel sorry for ye!you have it handy,only have to take care of yourselves and do what you want when you want to.you are the boss of the remote and you can sleep in on the weekend!this only counts of course is you dont have kids!i see loads of people stuck in crap relationships that are just going through the motions-to all those singles that waiting for the one -good on ya,why settle for less?

I don't see single people complaining:rolleyes:

We can't all be in relationships, the world isn't built that way. Single people would moan and so would couples, it's the way the world is

P.C. · 07-08-2008 08:21PM

Dudess wrote: »

That looks like back-pedalling. Initially you simply said "it's fine to be single at 25, at 35 it looks odd". You didn't qualify that with "if you've never been in a relationship at 35". Do you know many 35-year-olds who've never been in a relationship and are odd? I think that's more of a perception derived from the media. Is it maybe that which gives you the impression? I'm not having a go at you btw.
It's an entirely different discussion anyway. Yes it is very unusual for a person to have never been in a relationship by 35 and yes there's the likelihood they are gonna be odd. Although can you truly back up that assertion? Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if there were quite a few 35-year-olds who had never been in a serious relationship and had only done the casual fling/one-night stand thing over the years.

I agree with you on this.

Kipperhell · 07-08-2008 09:16PM

Dudess wrote: »

That looks like back-pedalling. Initially you simply said "it's fine to be single at 25, at 35 it looks odd". You didn't qualify that with "if you've never been in a relationship at 35". Do you know many 35-year-olds who've never been in a relationship and are odd? I think that's more of a perception derived from the media. Is it maybe that which gives you the impression? I'm not having a go at you btw.
It's an entirely different discussion anyway. Yes it is very unusual for a person to have never been in a relationship by 35 and yes there's the likelihood they are gonna be odd. Although can you truly back up that assertion? Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if there were quite a few 35-year-olds who had never been in a serious relationship and had only done the casual fling/one-night stand thing over the years.

I suggest you read the next line of my original comment and you will see I clearly qualified what I was saying. No back pedalling at all.
I know about 4 people who are past 35 and have never been in a relationship and that is excluding priest, nuns and the like. They exist and are not a product of the media.

holylucifer · 07-08-2008 09:22PM

Kipperhell wrote: »

Actually I don't care to explain because you seem to have difficulty understanding.

I haven't said what you are saying and you are reading into what I said incorrectly. Read what I said again and if you don't understand that is your problem.

If you actually think anybody sees single people as a threat to marriage you are truly misguided. I couldn't care less if somebody is single or not unless I am single myself.

If somebody hasn't been able to have a serious relationship by 35 they are often odd and I stand by that.

Bleh when i was on holiday to ireland about 2 weeks ago,co meath at newgrange lodge which is near slane,and very near newgrange enterance it self about 300m,

Anyways,we was at this pub in donore,and as my Dad watched this family eat together he said,the irish are a great get together.

As for me i am more comfortable being single as i am 19,there are pleasures in teaching your children stuff though and shapeing their behaviour,people like me don't like the two birds tied together situation..

my 2 cents.

Anti-single people??

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