What would you do if your neighbour put cement horses heads on their gate pillars

Overheal · 13-07-2008 05:28PM

you have to paint them with Joker makeup and write "Why So Seheheherious?" on the driveway

forestfruits · 13-07-2008 05:30PM

move

Halfdog · 13-07-2008 05:36PM

jimbo78 wrote: »

Replace them with real horses heads

You have seen too much of the Godfather

Sherifu wrote: »

Are they thoroughbred heads?

I doubt it very much.

MarkR · 13-07-2008 05:39PM

I'd mind my own business.

AdMMM · 13-07-2008 05:55PM

What's the big deal? It's a concrete horse head! How could that possibly offend you? I could understand if he put up stuffed heads or something like that but this is laughable!

stevecrow74 · 13-07-2008 05:57PM

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

Paint them with glow in the dark paint.

classic..

or even better.. just paint the eyes with luminous paint

or get a plaque made up with "Shergar R.I.P" and place it under one of the heads :eek:

Dudess · 13-07-2008 06:00PM

I wouldn't do anything. It's their gate, nothing to do with you. Why do you even care?

Archeron · 13-07-2008 06:03PM

Using a mold, make life size copies of your willy (or someone else's if you don't have one) and affix them to the top of the horses to make them into unicorns.

I can understand your not liking boring old horses heads, but everyone likes unicorns.

FlutterinBantam · 13-07-2008 06:09PM

Dudess wrote: »

I wouldn't do anything. It's their gate, nothing to do with you. Why do you even care?

Sorry Dudess if I appear to be targeting your posts, but they are diametrically opposite to my point of view.

Of course they are the OP's business, someone chavs up the estate, with tasteless bling ,and it's not your concern???

C'mon ...spare me.

ejmaztec · 13-07-2008 06:10PM

I'd remove both heads and drop them onto the flashing lights and Bruges pissing boy copy attached to the tacky garden fountain that he had installed earlier.

I would then piss in the fountain.

Dudess · 13-07-2008 06:23PM

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Sorry Dudess if I appear to be targeting your posts, but they are diametrically opposite to my point of view.

Of course they are the OP's business, someone chavs up the estate, with tasteless bling ,and it's not your concern???

C'mon ...spare me.

But they're not on the OP's gate, they're on the neighbour's gate so it's none of the OP's business.

stevecrow74 · 13-07-2008 06:23PM

Archeron wrote: »

Using a mold, make life size copies of your willy (or someone else's if you don't have one) and affix them to the top of the horses to make them into unicorns.

I can understand your not liking boring old horses heads, but everyone likes unicorns.

i think they would be more eunuchorns than unicorns:D
unless you do a mould of the complete package :eek:

baby_blu · 13-07-2008 06:26PM

javaboy wrote: »

Erect (quit sniggering down the back)

Sorry:P

AckwelFoley · 13-07-2008 06:37PM

Halfdog wrote: »

What would you do if you woke up in the morning and found that your next door neighbour had two cement horses heads on their gate pillard? Would you object and ask him to remove them? Could you ask the council to get them removed? Is there planning needed for them?

The first thing id do is find out what a pillard is. Then when i realise its actually a pillar, i'd mind my own business because its got othing to do with me.

Thats what i do.

godspenis · 13-07-2008 06:48PM

heres what id do if i was you and my neighbours put cement horses heads on the pillars on the gates;

I'd walk up to him and be like 'hey neighbour, wah ya doin putting horses heads on your gates like that for?'

Then he'd probably be like 'Listen godspenis, these are my gates and i can do damn well whatever i want to these gates, if i wanted to strap a bucket load of purple dildos to the gates i would'

then i would say 'Dude, you couldnt do that because there are loads of kids playing around here and that would be lude'

Then he'd be all 'you wanna bet? where do you think id get a bucket of purple dildos? those damn kids, thats where id get them cos there all a bunch of sluts.'

Then id be like 'how dare you? My son is one of those kids'

then he'd probably inform me that my kid was the biggest slut of them all.

then id get really upset and get angry. Id probably stand up on the wall and shout at him real loud and say something like 'This man here is a pri*k and he called all the in the neighbourhood a bunch of dildo merchant sluts' and i'd rouse the community spirit and we'd use our collective powers of seduction to make him take off his pants and run around his garden shouting 'IM A STUPID GARDEN GNOME'

then afterwards he'd be super embarrassed for all he's done the previous day he'd begin to slowly hate those horses heads that have started this community angst towards him.

Then two weeks later id send him anonymous laters saying everyone hates him loads.

Then id keep ringing him and hang up

then id have his wife sexually.

then id send him texts from a phone id buy especially to annoy him calling him a horse and that his breath stank, then id send other texts pointing out that everyone still hates him loads.

Then id approach him again casually in the street and ask him would he reconsider taking those horses heads down from his gates.

then while he's considering all he's been true mentally over the revious 3 months id ask him if he still thought all the kids were sluts?

Then id ask him where he'd get his dildos and he'd be so embarrassed that he'd be forced to take them

Such is the power of the cmmunity spirit

Laura Appleby · 13-07-2008 06:56PM

Xavi6 wrote: »

Ah OP, you're just jealous of the affluent. Isn't that right Ms. Appleby?

No that's totally wrong!!! It is a WC wanna be upper class thing to do things like have horses heads, its like complete tackorama! Its like those porters and doormen in Expensive hotels and they make up a posh accent just for the hotel but like serioulsy at the end of the day they just work there its not like they actually have money themselves or are from an affluent backround. having pictures of the pope is also one of the most WC tack decoration things I've ever seen also by the way

RoundyMooney · 13-07-2008 07:02PM

beautiation wrote: »

Engrave "The master of the house" on one and "the lady of the house" on the other.

Kudos. Best suggestion by a furlong.

They sound like the sort of people who ate sangwiches and tay, and listen to godawful plagiarised doo-dee-dee-doo-dee-dee country and western crap every sunday after mass.

I bet at least one of them drives a beat up 4x4, with no rear seats, which they use to bring the childer ta school in. Copious amounts of facial hair also.

The other goes out to work for a living driving tractors, and is called Paddeh.

Ilovebeard · 13-07-2008 07:22PM

Halfdog wrote: »

What would you do if you woke up in the morning and found that your next door neighbour had two cement horses heads on their gate pillard? Would you object and ask him to remove them? Could you ask the council to get them removed? Is there planning needed for them?

Jesus whats wrong with you, mind your own business - you're obviously one of those annoying people who would call the guards on their neighbors over the lawnmower been too loud -

and what business is it of the councils - biggest overpayed unqualified waste of space, dont ever give them such recognition of authority

longshanks · 13-07-2008 07:28PM

Laura Appleby wrote: »

No that's totally wrong!!! It is a WC wanna be upper class thing to do things like have horses heads, its like complete tackorama! Its like those porters and doormen in Expensive hotels and they make up a posh accent just for the hotel but like serioulsy at the end of the day they just work there its not like they actually have money themselves or are from an affluent backround. having pictures of the pope is also one of the most WC tack decoration things I've ever seen also by the way

pointing out so called differences between so called classes is the real sign of poorly bread wannabe's. take a bow wannabe

skywalker_208 · 13-07-2008 07:43PM

"next door neighbour had two cement horses heads on their gate pillard? Would you object and ask him to remove them?"

I dont see the problem here - your neighbour put cement horses on their own pillars so whats the problem? Free country - their own property etc mind your own business

AdMMM · 13-07-2008 08:54PM

Sorry Dudess if I appear to be targeting your posts, but they are diametrically opposite to my point of view.

Of course they are the OP's business, someone chavs up the estate, with tasteless bling ,and it's not your concern???

C'mon ...spare me.

Since when are horses heads a chav thing? The only place I've ever seen them is on houses on country roads.

I can understand it being the OP's business if the owners bought industrial chains, sprayed them gold, and hung them from window to window...

GirlInterrupted · 13-07-2008 09:00PM

Horses heads beat the old lions heads.....

ejmaztec · 13-07-2008 09:23PM

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Horses heads beat the old lions heads.....

One of each, signifying that the man of the house, a lion amongst men, is married to an old nag:p

Jet Black · 13-07-2008 09:28PM

I know someone that can 'take care' of your little problem

<cue evil laugh: MUUUHUAAHHAHHHaaaaahaaaaaaa>

Setun · 13-07-2008 09:29PM

My neighbour has a marble sabertooth tiger in their front garden. I shit you not. They also have a flag pole in their back garden. Maybe my neighbour and your neighbour are relatives, or go to the same insane garden centre?

Abi · 13-07-2008 09:33PM

|.Murderer.| wrote: »

Since when are horses heads a chav thing? The only place I've ever seen them is on houses on country roads.

You have horsey head pillars dont you?

Country roads, you'd get away with. They are probably genuine horse-people. If you copped the ugly fuggers on the walls of a council estate, thats your Hyacinth Bucket syndrome.

I likered Rons idea of glow in the dark paint, but in hindsight - this tasteful neighbour might actually like it.

Lump hammer ftw.

ejmaztec · 13-07-2008 09:43PM

Daddio wrote: »

My neighbour has a marble sabertooth tiger in their front garden. I shit you not. They also have a flag pole in their back garden. Maybe my neighbour and your neighbour are relatives, or go to the same insane garden centre?

I think there's been a largely unreported epidemic of delusional poor taste. A few miles from here, either side of some massive wrought-iron gates, are the obligatory horses' heads associated with this affliction. Yet there is a certain contradiction, as, at the end of the gravel driveway, where one would expect to see a stately home, there is a bungalow the size of a shoe-box.

I can see that the OP has been told to mind his own business, and that it's nothing to do with him, but that's like saying that Concern should mind its own business and that those starving Africans are nothing to do with anybody either.

Flukey · 13-07-2008 10:10PM

If you can get good odds, put €50 on which one you think will move the fastest.

kowloon · 13-07-2008 10:22PM

If you want to outdo him organise 2 real horses to be bridled to each pillar of your gate.
Or......... A giant coat of arms on some 6ft high elegantly crafted wrought iron gates with scroll work indicating the new name of your house, something like "belvedere manor" should do the trick. Add an intercom and you'll have the same set up as any other suburban fortress to protect one from the riff-raff.
Failing either of the above, buy an absolute ****load of garden gnomes.

KnifeWRENCH · 13-07-2008 10:25PM

You should remove the horses heads and go travelling around the world with them.

Take photos of the heads in various places (The Eiffel Tower, Pyramids of Giza, Great Wall Of China) and send them to your neighbour to freak him out.

What would you do if your neighbour put cement horses heads on their gate pillars

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