What bloody recession?

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 04:26PM #1

The good minister Mr. Lenihan has kindly asked us to stop talking our way into a recession.
Lets face it the gentleman in question has a point. When people hear recession they think the 1980s, when you would have sold your mother for a thrupenny bit and a single Doc Martin.
But how can it be a recession? People are still going on holidays. They are still spending way too much money on clothes and tarting themselves up in gawdy make up and fake tan to go to Debses I wasnt invited to. People are still throwing away food and drinking themselves silly.
So I thought to myself, instead of talking ourselves into a recession, we should really talk ourselves out of it.
So I shall start. Because I am the one writing the thread.
It's not a recession because.....
we can still afford white stretch limos for our scumbags.

Dinter · 03-07-2008 04:28PM

Yeh! Bloody doomsayers are ruining the price of my house!!

Grrrrr!

Trev M · 03-07-2008 04:31PM

Im still buyin the "Finest beans in Ireland"....none of yer cheapo crap:D...phhheeerrrrrpp!

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 04:32PM

I threw away a half loaf of bread last night. Just because.
Recession me hole.

Sherifu · 03-07-2008 04:34PM

*panics*

*raids credit union account*

*gets drunk*

END.

CountingCrows · 03-07-2008 04:34PM

I'm not sure, I think there might be something in this. Either way I've started turning off my car engine at night just in case.

03-07-2008 04:35PM

This post has been deleted.

ejmaztec · 03-07-2008 04:40PM

I'm going to use hair restorer:p

PurpleBerry · 03-07-2008 04:45PM

Well, I'm off on my first ever holiday this year.
Recession? Bah, I've always been broke!

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chopperbyrne · 03-07-2008 04:45PM

It's not a recession because I quit my job and don't have one to start on Monday.

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 04:51PM

The Scientist wrote: »

I was out of skins last night so i rolled my 'erb in a crisp €50 note and smoked it.

Just use a receipt or a pipe like smoking device.
It is a recession after all.

nyarlothothep · 03-07-2008 05:13PM

Its like the global warming episode in south park at the moment

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 05:15PM

What we need is a big gay pile.

chopperbyrne · 03-07-2008 05:28PM

dr.bollocko wrote: »

What we need is a big gay pile.

They took muh jooooobbbbbbbbb!!!!!

skyhighflyer · 03-07-2008 05:40PM

I'm no longer eating lobster stuffed with caviar for dinner. Just lobster on its own now. Have to tighten the belt and all that.

03-07-2008 05:41PM

Damn cribbers and moaners.

ART6 · 03-07-2008 05:46PM

There is no recession. Brian said there isn't. The Irish economy is strong -- just happens that most of the others in Europe are a bit stronger. Not a cause for panic. All you need to do is keep your mouth shut, whack your credit cards up to their limits, and trust in your government. I do, implicitly:)

Marcus.Aurelius · 03-07-2008 05:57PM

Fianna Fáil denying the facts??

Good God, that's a first*

* Made in a mind that contains sarcasm, cannot guarantee sarcasm-free

bealbocht · 03-07-2008 06:05PM

builders and property developers have built all they can for the moment, so building has gone down.. and there is some knock on effects in builders merchants and sales of "breakfast rolls" (no really, there is), etc, so that is down

The banks who have loaned money to everyone who could sign an "x" on a page, are now a bit miffed that,in some cases, "x" stands for the only chromosome the signee has, and cant pay the loan back cos they are back in prison now, so the banks have sensibly decided to up interest rates, so everyone who can be screwed, will be screwed, and not giving anyone any money for a while. Some of these banks, may only make 1.6 billion profit this year and not 1.8 like they forcast.

The media too.. who love disaster, and I am really learning to hate. Recession mad they are. I think I am going to stop listening to the news. It used to be just 3 lines about who was shot in norther ireland, now its 10 mins on the recession, and another 10 on the HSE. More miserable than the weather.

gurramok · 03-07-2008 06:29PM

How can ya talk down an economy so built on solid fundamentals as i quote the minister?

OP should have a look around on previous threads, there are people been affected by all the coming recession.

Nalz · 03-07-2008 06:48PM

sultan kebabs 7 days a week baby

Wertz · 03-07-2008 06:51PM

I've tightened my belt so much in the past week that I accidentally amputated my legs...on the bright side I saved a fortune on what that surgical procedure would have cost me in private healthcare so it's all good.

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 07:44PM

I knew it was a load of balls.

Shryke · 03-07-2008 07:53PM

It's not a recession because my workplace is cutting back everyones hours and... oh.

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 07:54PM

Woohoo! More time off! To spend all that money we still have!
I wish I was you.

Sparky · 03-07-2008 07:56PM

I just bought a 34k SUV and I'm going to break a fair few speed limits with it and post on boards later that I dont do such a thing.

Phototoxin · 03-07-2008 07:56PM

They took muh jooooobbbbbbbbb!!!!!

der durk dur duuuuuuuub!

Anti · 03-07-2008 08:00PM

Spankeh wrote: »

I just bought a 34k SUV and I'm going to break a fair few speed limits with it and post on boards later that I dont do such a thing.

Break, i think you decimated a few. I caught ya driving past my gaff at breakneck speeds. Also who were all them chicks hanging out the back windows tits-a-flopping :rolleyes:

dotsman · 03-07-2008 08:17PM

To be honest, it's all just media bull****. We're in a climate of change and uncertainty alright. That means that there will be a good few job losses, but also job creation, wage freezes in certain areas, but wage growth in others. Some people will have a ****ty year or 2, others will have a great year or 2, and most people won't notice (besides what they read/watch in the news).

dr.bollocko · 03-07-2008 08:18PM

I knew someone else could join up the dots in an eloquent manner.
Dotsman you are now my argument wingman.

...

Get me a beer.

Supercell · 03-07-2008 08:23PM

Lollers, damn those all powerful talker downers!

What bloody recession?

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