What bloody recession?

dr.bollocko

The good minister Mr. Lenihan has kindly asked us to stop talking our way into a recession.
Lets face it the gentleman in question has a point. When people hear recession they think the 1980s, when you would have sold your mother for a thrupenny bit and a single Doc Martin.
But how can it be a recession? People are still going on holidays. They are still spending way too much money on clothes and tarting themselves up in gawdy make up and fake tan to go to Debses I wasnt invited to. People are still throwing away food and drinking themselves silly.
So I thought to myself, instead of talking ourselves into a recession, we should really talk ourselves out of it.
So I shall start. Because I am the one writing the thread.
It's not a recession because.....
we can still afford white stretch limos for our scumbags.

Dinter

Yeh! Bloody doomsayers are ruining the price of my house!!

Grrrrr!

Trev M

Im still buyin the "Finest beans in Ireland"....none of yer cheapo crap:D...phhheeerrrrrpp!

dr.bollocko

I threw away a half loaf of bread last night. Just because.
Recession me hole.

Sherifu

*panics*

*raids credit union account*

*gets drunk*

END.

CountingCrows

I'm not sure, I think there might be something in this. Either way I've started turning off my car engine at night just in case.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

ejmaztec

I'm going to use hair restorer:p

PurpleBerry

Well, I'm off on my first ever holiday this year.
Recession? Bah, I've always been broke!

__________________________
No sig yet

chopperbyrne

It's not a recession because I quit my job and don't have one to start on Monday.

dr.bollocko

The Scientist wrote: »

I was out of skins last night so i rolled my 'erb in a crisp €50 note and smoked it.

Just use a receipt or a pipe like smoking device.
It is a recession after all.

nyarlothothep

Its like the global warming episode in south park at the moment

dr.bollocko

What we need is a big gay pile.

chopperbyrne

dr.bollocko wrote: »

What we need is a big gay pile.

They took muh jooooobbbbbbbbb!!!!!

skyhighflyer

I'm no longer eating lobster stuffed with caviar for dinner. Just lobster on its own now. Have to tighten the belt and all that.

Damn cribbers and moaners.

ART6

There is no recession. Brian said there isn't. The Irish economy is strong -- just happens that most of the others in Europe are a bit stronger. Not a cause for panic. All you need to do is keep your mouth shut, whack your credit cards up to their limits, and trust in your government. I do, implicitly:)

Marcus.Aurelius

Fianna Fáil denying the facts??

Good God, that's a first*


* Made in a mind that contains sarcasm, cannot guarantee sarcasm-free

bealbocht

builders and property developers have built all they can for the moment, so building has gone down.. and there is some knock on effects in builders merchants and sales of "breakfast rolls" (no really, there is), etc, so that is down

The banks who have loaned money to everyone who could sign an "x" on a page, are now a bit miffed that,in some cases, "x" stands for the only chromosome the signee has, and cant pay the loan back cos they are back in prison now, so the banks have sensibly decided to up interest rates, so everyone who can be screwed, will be screwed, and not giving anyone any money for a while. Some of these banks, may only make 1.6 billion profit this year and not 1.8 like they forcast.

The media too.. who love disaster, and I am really learning to hate. Recession mad they are. I think I am going to stop listening to the news. It used to be just 3 lines about who was shot in norther ireland, now its 10 mins on the recession, and another 10 on the HSE. More miserable than the weather.

gurramok

How can ya talk down an economy so built on solid fundamentals as i quote the minister?

OP should have a look around on previous threads, there are people been affected by all the coming recession.

Nalz

sultan kebabs 7 days a week baby

Wertz

I've tightened my belt so much in the past week that I accidentally amputated my legs...on the bright side I saved a fortune on what that surgical procedure would have cost me in private healthcare so it's all good.

dr.bollocko

I knew it was a load of balls.

Shryke

It's not a recession because my workplace is cutting back everyones hours and... oh.

dr.bollocko

Woohoo! More time off! To spend all that money we still have!
I wish I was you.

Sparky

I just bought a 34k SUV and I'm going to break a fair few speed limits with it and post on boards later that I dont do such a thing.

Phototoxin

They took muh jooooobbbbbbbbb!!!!!

der durk dur duuuuuuuub!

Anti

Spankeh wrote: »

I just bought a 34k SUV and I'm going to break a fair few speed limits with it and post on boards later that I dont do such a thing.

Break, i think you decimated a few. I caught ya driving past my gaff at breakneck speeds. Also who were all them chicks hanging out the back windows tits-a-flopping :rolleyes:

dotsman

To be honest, it's all just media bull****. We're in a climate of change and uncertainty alright. That means that there will be a good few job losses, but also job creation, wage freezes in certain areas, but wage growth in others. Some people will have a ****ty year or 2, others will have a great year or 2, and most people won't notice (besides what they read/watch in the news).

dr.bollocko

I knew someone else could join up the dots in an eloquent manner.
Dotsman you are now my argument wingman.

...

Get me a beer.

Supercell

Lollers, damn those all powerful talker downers!

dotsman

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I knew someone else could join up the dots in an eloquent manner.
Dotsman you are now my argument wingman.

...

Get me a beer.

In the words of Mr. Maverick - "bullsh!t, you can be mine"

dr.bollocko

I'm anyone's if they get me a beer.

dotsman

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I'm anyone's if they get me a beer.

slut

Mrs_Doyle

I haven't personally felt the recession, BUT, the sales in work have gone waaaaaaay down in the last few weeks, which is a bit of a worry as the amount of people passing through has actually increased.

narkymarky

A cold beer, obviously - 'cos a warm beer is just nasty and uncalled for even in times of economic downturn and/or refridgeration issues

dotsman

Mrs_Doyle wrote: »

I haven't personally felt the recession, BUT, the sales in work have gone waaaaaaay down in the last few weeks, which is a bit of a worry as the amount of people passing through has actually increased.

What work? Is it seasonal? Is there a sale coming up that people are just coming in to browse now and buy later?

Queen-Mise

What recession, just after booking a holiday for august.

Mrs_Doyle

dotsman wrote: »

What work? Is it seasonal? Is there a sale coming up that people are just coming in to browse now and buy later?

No, I work in the aiport, so we have a high volume of potential customers who won't really get the opportunity to buy at a later date.

Capt'n Midnight

Mrs_Doyle wrote: »

I haven't personally felt the recession, BUT, the sales in work have gone waaaaaaay down in the last few weeks, which is a bit of a worry as the amount of people passing through has actually increased.

isn't that normal for a wet summer with the kids off from school and the foreign holidays starting ?

dr.bollocko

See? Holidays and recession don't mix.
It's all nonsense.

dotsman

Mrs_Doyle wrote: »

No, I work in the aiport, so we have a high volume of potential customers who won't really get the opportunity to buy at a later date.

Might it be down to the continuing strength of the Euro and ever declining dollar/sterling? i.e. whatever you're selling it's probably a way cheaper where people are going (and only getting cheaper!)

Ross_Mahon

I'm going to be living off bread and water for the next 15 years...:(

dr.bollocko

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

I'm going to be living off bread and water for the next 15 years...:(

What are you in for?

Wertz

Wertz wrote: »

I've tightened my belt so much in the past week that I accidentally amputated my legs...on the bright side I saved a fortune on what that surgical procedure would have cost me in private healthcare so it's all good.

And the shoes, don't forget the shoes.

Ross_Mahon

dr.bollocko wrote: »

What are you in for?

The money and the empty apartments.

Peared

House prices falling, ha! has anybody seeen the price of houses in South Dublin (the nice parts)?

Im gonna wait til they drop and drop and then buy me some mansions from some recessionees.

Making the most out of other peoples misfortune ftw.

Creature

Don't worry I know a way to make lots of money:

Phase 1 - Collect underpants

Phase 2 - ???

Phase 3 - Profit.

yummycake

It's summer, wait 'til september at least to say there's a recession

dr.bollocko

What happens in September?
Greenday come back?

gracehopper

bealbocht wrote: »

builders and property developers have built all they can for the moment, so building has gone down.. and there is some knock on effects in builders merchants and sales of "breakfast rolls" (no really, there is), etc, so that is down

The banks who have loaned money to everyone who could sign an "x" on a page, are now a bit miffed that,in some cases, "x" stands for the only chromosome the signee has, and cant pay the loan back cos they are back in prison now, so the banks have sensibly decided to up interest rates, so everyone who can be screwed, will be screwed, and not giving anyone any money for a while. Some of these banks, may only make 1.6 billion profit this year and not 1.8 like they forcast.

The media too.. who love disaster, and I am really learning to hate. Recession mad they are. I think I am going to stop listening to the news. It used to be just 3 lines about who was shot in norther ireland, now its 10 mins on the recession, and another 10 on the HSE. More miserable than the weather.

spot on with all of this.