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I Sh*t My Pants

2

Comments

  • #32
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    Can we please have a thread from somebody who actually shat themselves?


  • #33
    Ninja_scrotum
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 510 ✭✭✭Ninja_scrotum


    I made a teeny little shit when I farted before. Shook it down me leg and out onto the floor. Continued shopping.


  • #34
    GrumPy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,566 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    Feelgood wrote: »

    I wasn't even thinking about the new car that I just bought being battered around, I didn't even care. What was your most fearful experience?. Do you remember what you were thinking at the time?.

    Was the car ok?


  • #35
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    Ninja_scrotum wrote: »
    I made a teeny little shit when I farted before. Shook it down me leg and out onto the floor. Continued shopping.

    Thats more like it!
    I was walking to work years ago with my bag of sandwiches when i got short taken,i had to jump over the wall into adjoining woods and having no toilet roll to hand i had to wipe my arse with my sandwiches.Suffice it to say they didnt taste to nice afterwards.


  • #36
    Gone West
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭Gone West


    what an exaggeration, the Irish sea up north at holyhead never gets too stormy. Swell sizes will be 6 foot at most.

    Try going out in the north west atlantic or north sea in 20 foot swells and then you know what its really like :D


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  • #37
    BobTheBeat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,048 ✭✭✭BobTheBeat


    Note to self, cancel sailing trip to Antarctic this year



  • #38
    Feelgood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    Degsy wrote: »
    Can we please have a thread from somebody who actually shat themselves?

    Degsy in fairness, everyone on boards shat themselves from the age of 0 till about the age of 2. So technically, we all sh*t our pants.


  • #39
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Degsy in fairness, everyone on boards shat themselves from the age of 0 till about the age of 2. So technically, we all sh*t our pants.

    Perhaps but the title of the thread led me to believe that an adult,comuter-literate boardsie shat themselves RECENTLY.What a swizz the title is!


  • #40
    more tea vicar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭more tea vicar


    I shát myself last week or so.

    I tried to convince the Bant but he was having none of it. I timed a trip to the bog wrong after not being able to find any and the turtle had already poked his head out.

    Drove a good few miles before getting to the jacks and by that time it was too late, shíte coming down my right leg and all over the jacks. Shít everywhere, felt like a knacker.


  • #41
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Just for Degsey, here's an example of a fully grown person who should have full rectal control shßtting himself. It is also one of the funniest things I have ever read on the net!
    http://www.b3ta.com/questions/****stories2/post135763
    Enjoy!


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  • #42
    Agonist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,329 ✭✭✭Agonist


    Scariest moment: I went to bed one day in the early afternoon and woke up suddenly. When I opened my eyes everything was pitch black and completely silent. A feeling of cold dread passed through me as I realised that the world had ended. I didn't know whether The Rapture had come to pass or whether I was blind and paralysed in Purgatory.
    A minute later I remembered that I was an atheist and that I had slept for longer than I realised and night had fallen.
    True story. I didn't **** myself though.

    Another time I was on a 24 hour drinking session with a couple of friends. On the way to the chipper one of my friends was caught short and shat himself. He promptly stepped out of his trousers and y-fronts and flung them at the wall (of the Vincent de Paul charity shop). A most amazing thing that had us transfixed in wonder happened then. The keks actually clung to the wall for several seconds before sliding down. I never looked at a Guinness the same way after that.
    Sad ending: They wouldn't let us into the chipper.


  • #43
    yarmaraic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭yarmaraic


    Fell out a window once...3 storeys up in a house that was just being built...surprisingly had no major injuries apart from sending my bottom teeth through my top lip....was pretty scary seeing the ground coming at me that quick!!!

    also its my first post so hello everybody!!! :D


  • #44
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    yarmaraic wrote: »
    Fell out a window once...3 storeys up in a house that was just being built...surprisingly had no major injuries apart from sending my bottom teeth through my top lip....was pretty scary seeing the ground coming at me that quick!!!

    also its my first post so hello everybody!!! :D
    Nice first post! You've set the bar fairly high for you future ones though. Can you live up to the hype?:D


  • #45
    yarmaraic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭yarmaraic


    ah sher I can only try!!! Plenty more stories aswell...just cant think of them right now...the vodkas killing off my brain cells.....:o


  • #46
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    my poop my pants moment

    less than 10 metres into a black run in the austrian alps, after a few days learning how to snow board, was able to keep control of the board, was standing in the same spot on the side of the mountain, but was already to far down on too musch of a steep slope to go back to the top and and take the red run instead

    managed to get to the bottom in one peice but kept to more gentle leasurely runs after that

    :eek::eek::eek:


  • #47
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,856 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    Just the other day I was in work in Sydney, when I saw a low-flying aircraft flying nearby, with a fighter jet in hot pursuit!!! :eek: I legged it outa the building ASAP

    It was terrifying.


  • #48
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Dave! wrote: »
    Just the other day I was in work in Sydney, when I saw a low-flying aircraft flying nearby, with a fighter jet in hot pursuit!!! :eek: I legged it outa the building ASAP

    It was terrifying.
    Haha, wasn't there a thread about it and it turned out to be a sendoff for the plane's last flight or something?


  • #49
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,856 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    Cool_CM wrote: »
    Haha, wasn't there a thread about it and it turned out to be a sendoff for the plane's last flight or something?
    What? Seriously it happened! :eek: I thought it was like Al-Qaida or somethin :( I was touching cloth for certain

    Dunno wtf it was


  • #50
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,019 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Yup, here it is
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055324917


  • #51
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,856 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    Oh emm jee :pac:


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  • #52
    rossie1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,537 ✭✭✭✭rossie1977


    FuzzyLogic wrote: »
    what an exaggeration, the Irish sea up north at holyhead never gets too stormy. Swell sizes will be 6 foot at most.

    Try going out in the north west atlantic or north sea in 20 foot swells and then you know what its really like :D

    swells in the irish sea have known to be 20 feet http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/1511641/Johnny-Squier.html

    swells of 13 metres or 44 feet have been recorded off galway http://www.rte.ie/news/2007/1201/weather.html


  • #53
    Trev M
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    My story involves both poop and a terrifying experience for a poor young one.

    About a year ago on a fine friday afternoon around half 5 or so I was on the bus from Dun Loaghaire into the city centre.

    Now bear in mind its only 5 or there abouts, anyway a guy absolutely plastered out of his brains will blood on his face and puke down his t shirt staggers on to the bus at Foxrock church. "Great" Im thinkin, Im like fly paper for lunatics and Im thinking this ****hawk is gonna sit beside me and blabber on, smell of piss and puke all over the shop.....anway he proceeds up the aisle and sits down beside a girlto the left and in front of me ...kinda trappin her on the inside next to the window with the middle door pane in front of her....

    Now , when I say this guy was in a right state you wouldnt believe it , still dont get why the driver let him on.... So everyone opens up the windows and yer man is shoutin his head off, putting his arm around the young one all of that craic ... I puts the Ipod on and try to ignore it .... bout five minutes later I hear a scream over Prongs "snap your fingers snap your neck"...great tuine by the way..so anyway I look over at yer one..... shes screamin and cryin and wavin her arms about like mad and gaggin all that jazz and standing up on the seat of the bus... mass panic ensues the driver freaks out starts swerving to pull over in the bus lane.....2 seconds later the WHACK fills everyones nostrils mass hysteria and gaggin, shouting, screamin its was absolute bedlam....

    In all my days Ive never experienced anything that literally brought as many tears instantaneously to so many eyes.... yer man was after havin for himself a nice runny crap all over himself and the seat. On evacuation of the bus yer man staggers off leavin a small slug like trail of brown on the ground and collapses in a hape. To this day Im wary of the 46A.

    Nice huh


  • #54
    Kernel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,388 ✭✭✭Kernel


    Trev M wrote: »
    anway he proceeds up the aisle and sits down beside a girlto the left and in front of me ...kinda trappin her on the inside next to the window with the middle door pane in front of her....

    Now , when I say this guy was in a right state you wouldnt believe it , still dont get why the driver let him on.... So everyone opens up the windows and yer man is shoutin his head off, putting his arm around the young one all of that craic ... I puts the Ipod on and try to ignore it .... bout five minutes later I hear a scream over Prongs "snap your fingers snap your neck"...great tuine by the way..so anyway I look over at yer one..... shes screamin and cryin and wavin her arms about like mad and gaggin all that jazz and standing up on the seat of the bus... mass panic ensues the driver freaks out starts swerving to pull over in the bus lane.....2 seconds later the WHACK fills everyones nostrils mass hysteria and gaggin, shouting, screamin its was absolute bedlam....

    Fair play to you for looking after the young girl..... :rolleyes:


  • #55
    Trev M
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    What would you recommend , some kind of "positive intervention" ?

    What would you have done?


  • #56
    Kur4mA
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭Kur4mA


    Trev M wrote: »
    What would you recommend , some kind of "positive intervention" ?

    What would you have done?

    Pampers tbh.


  • #57
    silvine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,132 ✭✭✭silvine


    You could have put your coat on top of the ****e so she'd have somewhere clean to sit.


  • #58
    Kernel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,388 ✭✭✭Kernel


    Trev M wrote: »
    What would you recommend , some kind of "positive intervention" ?

    What would you have done?

    Told him to sit somewhere else... asked the girl if she wanted to sit somewhere else away from head-the-ball. Certainly not just pop in the ipod and forget about it.


  • #59
    Trev M
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,840 ✭✭✭Trev M


    Ahh you crazy kids and your ideals:rolleyes:

    "Hey stinky sit some where else"

    "How about I come over there a **** all over you"

    "Nah Im good fire away good sir"


  • #60
    Kur4mA
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭Kur4mA


    Trev M wrote: »
    "Nah Im good fire away good sir"

    LOL! I see what you did there. :D


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  • #61
    workaccount
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,460 ✭✭✭workaccount


    Feelgood wrote: »
    After hearing a few stories the other day from people who were in the earthquake in China and how they are so glad to be alive and that the whole experience really put their lives into perspective, I thought about my most fearful moment.

    I bought a car in the UK back in November last year and went over to collect it a few weeks later. I was pulling the usual craic of driving it to Holyhead to getting the boat home, but the difference was that I had never been on a boat before (not at sea anyways). Anyway, we had just left the shore when the captain came on the radio to say that he was going to take us back to Holyhead due to "adverse" weather conditions and then 5 minutes later he came back on the radio to say, You'll be happy to hear folks, we are going to plough on to Dublin.

    Thought nothing of it until we got out to the middle of the Irish sea. I had just sat down with a semi professional fry up in front of me when it went flying half way across the floor. It was like sitting in a washing machine on top speed for nearly 2 hours. Women screaming, kids screaming. Went into the jacks and there were lads cueing up to get sick, there was sick all over the floor. It actually took me about 15 minutes to get to the jacks and it was only about 20 foot away. I remember thinking that if I get out of this alive, I'm gonna change my life around. Quit my job, travel the world, not waste another single second. Did it happen - no!.

    I wasn't even thinking about the new car that I just bought being battered around, I didn't even care. What was your most fearful experience?. Do you remember what you were thinking at the time?.

    So did the car get damaged?


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