I Sh*t My Pants

Feelgood

After hearing a few stories the other day from people who were in the earthquake in China and how they are so glad to be alive and that the whole experience really put their lives into perspective, I thought about my most fearful moment.

I bought a car in the UK back in November last year and went over to collect it a few weeks later. I was pulling the usual craic of driving it to Holyhead to getting the boat home, but the difference was that I had never been on a boat before (not at sea anyways). Anyway, we had just left the shore when the captain came on the radio to say that he was going to take us back to Holyhead due to "adverse" weather conditions and then 5 minutes later he came back on the radio to say, You'll be happy to hear folks, we are going to plough on to Dublin.

Thought nothing of it until we got out to the middle of the Irish sea. I had just sat down with a semi professional fry up in front of me when it went flying half way across the floor. It was like sitting in a washing machine on top speed for nearly 2 hours. Women screaming, kids screaming. Went into the jacks and there were lads cueing up to get sick, there was sick all over the floor. It actually took me about 15 minutes to get to the jacks and it was only about 20 foot away. I remember thinking that if I get out of this alive, I'm gonna change my life around. Quit my job, travel the world, not waste another single second. Did it happen - no!.

I wasn't even thinking about the new car that I just bought being battered around, I didn't even care. What was your most fearful experience?. Do you remember what you were thinking at the time?.

cance

your thread title vs thread content disappoints.

truecrippler

But did you actually sh*t your pants? I think that's the main question.

ronnie3585

Did you actually poop ur pantaloons?

allabouteve

cance wrote: »

your thread title vs thread content disappoints.

+100

Fell off the flat bed of a ute moving at maybe 40mph as a little girl. Badly winded but thought I was dying - just a drama queen really.

markos79

ye total anti climax!!!!!!

did 'yore ma' **** her pants?:D

judas101

was your car banged up?

truecrippler

judas101 wrote: »

was your car banged up?

I wouldn't assume so, he hadn't reached Dublin at this point.

Feelgood

Didn't touch cloth no, I was using that statement as a figure of speech to indicate a moment of fear...jasus!.

The car was fine alright, not a scrap on her. I always heard that in moments like that you should look at the stewards or hostesses to see their facial expressions and well by the looks of their faces they were "sh*ting their pants" too....

truecrippler

Feelgood wrote: »

Didn't touch cloth no, I was using that statement as a figure of speech to indicate a moment of fear...jasus!.

The car was fine alright, not a scrap on her. I always heard that in moments like that you should look at the stewards or hostesses to see their facial expressions and well by the looks of their faces they were "sh*ting their pants" too....

Ah so you did sh*t your pants. Case closed.

Loopy

I too thought it was gonna be a great poo in the pants story..

I did manage to do it, doing a Bungy jump, scariest few mins of my life ever:eek:

ronnie3585

Speaking of sh*tting one's pants;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT2nql6c1qQ

Davidius

For most people the scariest moment of their life is when they're in traffic and somebody who looks "dodgey" walks by and they realise that their door isn't locked.

I've never had any particularly terrifying experiences (God doesn't send them my way because I'm so enlightened!). One thing that nearly nearly made me **** my pants was when lightning struck somewhere near our house one halloween. I was at the computer and there was a bright flash with a KZZZRT type sound followed by me being tossed to the floor. All of the lights were knocked out so it went completely dark.

I thought we were being bombed (I was 11 I think). I was disappointed to find I had survived but not recieved superpowers.

Ross_Mahon

Me and me mate were driving up the mountains, and we ended up going along the bogs past view point. Then i see a parked black van with tinted window along the road, it starts following us? And anytime we picked up speed they would speed up too!

It ended up, them trying to ram us off the road! if you were to go off one of those roads you would be surely dead/badly hurt, if that didn't kill you. Maybe the pikeys in the van will finish you off with a shotgun. We got to the end of the bog and i advised my friend to pull in really fast, he jammed on the breaks and the van flew past trying to slow down. I was like panicking "REVERSE THE CAR! QUICK!" the van started to reverse too to block us from getting away, we managed to maneuver past the van and escape...that was scary as hell

Sherifu

Sharting ftl.

Dun laoire

Some fuker knocked me down when i was cycling home one night. My runner was found 3 miles away stuck high in a tree. The best part was yer man that ploughed into me without a care in the world wanted to send me a bill for smashing through his windscreen. To be fair to the lad he was in shock as i lay there in a heap and maybe wanted to lighten the moment. I dont recall laughing

Rb

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

Me and me mate were driving up the mountains, and we ended up going along the bogs past view point. Then i see a parked black van with tinted window along the road, it starts following us? And anytime we picked up speed they would speed up too!

It ended up, them trying to ram us off the road! if you were to go off one of those roads you would be surely dead/badly hurt, if that didn't kill you. Maybe the pikeys in the van will finish you off with a shotgun. We got to the end of the bog and i advised my friend to pull in really fast, he jammed on the breaks and the van flew past trying to slow down. I was like panicking "REVERSE THE CAR! QUICK!" the van started to reverse too to block us from getting away, we managed to maneuver past the van and escape...that was scary as hell

Something very similar happened me in that area before, except it was by a normal car and not a van.

Ross_Mahon

rb_ie wrote: »

Something very similar happened me in that area before, except it was by a normal car and not a van.

I wonder is it people trying to ram you, then steal the car and belongings? Most likely scumbags or pikeys

pickarooney

rb_ie wrote: »

Something very similar happened me in that area before, except it was by a normal car and not a van.

Which area? His only description of the place was 'the mountains' and something about a bog.

Rb

pickarooney wrote: »

Which area? His only description of the place was 'the mountains' and something about a bog.

Well he referred to View Point, and there's only one view point I can think of on the Dublin side of the Dublin Mountains, around the corner from view point is a long road that leads through bogs/the middle of nowhere for quite a long time so I took it that it's there he was referring to.

Rb

Ross_Mahon wrote: »

I wonder is it people trying to ram you, then steal the car and belongings? Most likely scumbags or pikeys

I've no idea what they could have been at, however I've driven around there during the day and there's often burnt out cars ditched there. Girlfriend was genuinely terrified at the time.

Ross_Mahon

pickarooney wrote: »

Which area? His only description of the place was 'the mountains' and something about a bog.

Latitude: 53°12'36.19"N
Longitude: 6°17'57.06"W

Only messing, you drive on past the hellfire club, you then reach view point and follow a road past that leads to a huge open bog land with one long road going through it. But it would not be nice crashing your car out there in the middle of the night...

Oilrig

Basra, 2003. Me, a Belgian colleague (both unarmed) and a local driver got caught in an angry swarm of Iraqi vets that had just had their pensions cut off by the UK/US.

They broke the antennae off the car, were rocking it trying to turn it over, screaming and shouting, totally manic, broke the windows, whacking us with all sorts of implements. I accepted that I was going to die slowly and painfully at the hands of a lynch mob...

Someone in the mob recognised our driver, dialog ensued and the mob subdued.

Hate crowds to this day.

Belgian bugged out two days later, sensible sod, 23 colleagues were killed a few weeks later in a suicide attack.

Complain about the weather all you like, but, bigger picture, this is a lovely safe place to live folks.

Poxyshamrock

Stena Line Lynx (Vomit Comet) is always rough!
Always people getting sick, always children screaming and always bad food lol!

Feelgood

Oilrig wrote: »

Basra, 2003. Me, a Belgian colleague (both unarmed) and a local driver got caught in an angry swarm of Iraqi vets that had just had their pensions cut off by the UK/US.

They broke the antennae off the car, were rocking it trying to turn it over, screaming and shouting, totally manic, broke the windows, whacking us with all sorts of implements. I accepted that I was going to die slowly and painfully at the hands of a lynch mob...

Someone in the mob recognised our driver, dialog ensued and the mob subdued.

Hate crowds to this day.

Belgian bugged out two days later, sensible sod, 23 colleagues were killed a few weeks later in a suicide attack.

Complain about the weather all you like, but, bigger picture, this is a lovely safe place to live folks.

Great story....

Mossy Monk

There was that time I nearly knocked myself out and couldn't move for 2 minutes. That was scary.

Jigsaw

Was driving along one day when someone who was either drunk driving or falling asleep at the wheel swerved towards me on a narrow road. I had no room to swerve away and it ended up that they cleaned the driver's side wing mirror of my car. I had to park up at the first convenient moment to calm down after realising how close I was to a head on collision at 60mph. Still scares me to this day.

Captain Darling

Coming back from Amsterdam a few years ago, totally in the horrors from booze etc and the pilot bounced the plane off the runway a few times when we were landing. My DT's exaggerated it by about a hundred times. Am very wary of flying since.

Trousers was duly filled.

MarkR

When I was a little MarkR in the states I was in the elevator going up to the apartment along with a black guy and a asian lady. Black guy points gun at back of ladies head and robs her. I thought that was pretty scary. And no, I didn't poop my pants. :cool: I just ran home crying once he'd gone.

FlutterinBantam

cance wrote: »

your thread title vs thread content disappoints.

Spot on Cance..I just wasted my time hoping to hear of an interesting "evacuation into the kex experience",and all I got was some crap about a boat journey.

Now did I ever tell you about that time at Oxygen.... ..well..sorry I just can't go on:mad:

Neamhshuntasach

Being kidnapped in northern Ecuador while trekking was pretty scary. Until i realized they were the FARC and not paramilitaries and i convinced them i was a socialst by showing them a tattoo and a t-shirt. They then treated me grand and were a great bunch of lads. Dropped my off at a bus station.

Degsy

Can we please have a thread from somebody who actually shat themselves?

Ninja_scrotum

I made a teeny little shit when I farted before. Shook it down me leg and out onto the floor. Continued shopping.

GrumPy

Feelgood wrote: »

I wasn't even thinking about the new car that I just bought being battered around, I didn't even care. What was your most fearful experience?. Do you remember what you were thinking at the time?.

Was the car ok?

Degsy

Ninja_scrotum wrote: »

I made a teeny little shit when I farted before. Shook it down me leg and out onto the floor. Continued shopping.

Thats more like it!
I was walking to work years ago with my bag of sandwiches when i got short taken,i had to jump over the wall into adjoining woods and having no toilet roll to hand i had to wipe my arse with my sandwiches.Suffice it to say they didnt taste to nice afterwards.

Gone West

what an exaggeration, the Irish sea up north at holyhead never gets too stormy. Swell sizes will be 6 foot at most.

Try going out in the north west atlantic or north sea in 20 foot swells and then you know what its really like

BobTheBeat

Note to self, cancel sailing trip to Antarctic this year

Feelgood

Degsy wrote: »

Can we please have a thread from somebody who actually shat themselves?

Degsy in fairness, everyone on boards shat themselves from the age of 0 till about the age of 2. So technically, we all sh*t our pants.

Degsy

Feelgood wrote: »

Degsy in fairness, everyone on boards shat themselves from the age of 0 till about the age of 2. So technically, we all sh*t our pants.

Perhaps but the title of the thread led me to believe that an adult,comuter-literate boardsie shat themselves RECENTLY.What a swizz the title is!

more tea vicar

I shát myself last week or so.

I tried to convince the Bant but he was having none of it. I timed a trip to the bog wrong after not being able to find any and the turtle had already poked his head out.

Drove a good few miles before getting to the jacks and by that time it was too late, shíte coming down my right leg and all over the jacks. Shít everywhere, felt like a knacker.

Cool_CM

Just for Degsey, here's an example of a fully grown person who should have full rectal control shßtting himself. It is also one of the funniest things I have ever read on the net!
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/****stories2/post135763
Enjoy!

Agonist

Scariest moment: I went to bed one day in the early afternoon and woke up suddenly. When I opened my eyes everything was pitch black and completely silent. A feeling of cold dread passed through me as I realised that the world had ended. I didn't know whether The Rapture had come to pass or whether I was blind and paralysed in Purgatory.
A minute later I remembered that I was an atheist and that I had slept for longer than I realised and night had fallen.
True story. I didn't **** myself though.

Another time I was on a 24 hour drinking session with a couple of friends. On the way to the chipper one of my friends was caught short and shat himself. He promptly stepped out of his trousers and y-fronts and flung them at the wall (of the Vincent de Paul charity shop). A most amazing thing that had us transfixed in wonder happened then. The keks actually clung to the wall for several seconds before sliding down. I never looked at a Guinness the same way after that.
Sad ending: They wouldn't let us into the chipper.

yarmaraic

Fell out a window once...3 storeys up in a house that was just being built...surprisingly had no major injuries apart from sending my bottom teeth through my top lip....was pretty scary seeing the ground coming at me that quick!!!

also its my first post so hello everybody!!!

Cool_CM

yarmaraic wrote: »

Fell out a window once...3 storeys up in a house that was just being built...surprisingly had no major injuries apart from sending my bottom teeth through my top lip....was pretty scary seeing the ground coming at me that quick!!!

also its my first post so hello everybody!!!

Nice first post! You've set the bar fairly high for you future ones though. Can you live up to the hype?:D

yarmaraic

ah sher I can only try!!! Plenty more stories aswell...just cant think of them right now...the vodkas killing off my brain cells.....:o

Mint Sauce

my poop my pants moment

less than 10 metres into a black run in the austrian alps, after a few days learning how to snow board, was able to keep control of the board, was standing in the same spot on the side of the mountain, but was already to far down on too musch of a steep slope to go back to the top and and take the red run instead

managed to get to the bottom in one peice but kept to more gentle leasurely runs after that

:eek::eek::eek:

Dave!

Just the other day I was in work in Sydney, when I saw a low-flying aircraft flying nearby, with a fighter jet in hot pursuit!!! :eek: I legged it outa the building ASAP

It was terrifying.

Cool_CM

Dave! wrote: »

Just the other day I was in work in Sydney, when I saw a low-flying aircraft flying nearby, with a fighter jet in hot pursuit!!! :eek: I legged it outa the building ASAP

It was terrifying.

Haha, wasn't there a thread about it and it turned out to be a sendoff for the plane's last flight or something?

Dave!

Cool_CM wrote: »

Haha, wasn't there a thread about it and it turned out to be a sendoff for the plane's last flight or something?

What? Seriously it happened! :eek: I thought it was like Al-Qaida or somethin I was touching cloth for certain

Dunno wtf it was

Cool_CM

Yup, here it is
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055324917

Dave!

Oh emm jee :pac: