Kissed someone my friend likes

sunnyd · 03-06-2008 12:45AM #1

So i kissed a guy that my best friend really likes, i was drunk but thats no excuse. she found out and wont talk to me, in fact she is totally avoiding me and ignoring me. i no i shouldnt of done it but i didnt think it was such a major deal that she now wont talk to me. even some of my other friends wont talk to me either. was i wrong to think they wud or wat??? are they overreacting?? I just dont know... im confused. any advice is more than welcome

Overheal · 03-06-2008 12:47AM

Ah, sacred rules of Turf.

'fraid you may be in the doghouse for a little bit.

Try talking to the lad about your one?

Doctor DooM · 03-06-2008 12:47AM

sunnyd wrote: »

So i kissed a guy that my best friend really likes, i was drunk but thats no excuse. she found out and wont talk to me, in fact she is totally avoiding me and ignoring me. i no i shouldnt of done it but i didnt think it was such a major deal that she now wont talk to me. even some of my other friends wont talk to me either. was i wrong to think they wud or wat??? are they overreacting?? I just dont know... im confused. any advice is more than welcome

She's acting like a child. She doesn't own the guy.

give her a few weeks to realise how she's acting. If she doesn't get over it, she isn't worth it.

Wurly · 03-06-2008 12:52AM

Overheal wrote: »

Try talking to the lad about your one?

I personally wouldn't do that. Cos then it may look like your bad mouthing your friend and talking about her behind her back. Sure to add fuel to the fire.

It will blow over. Apologise and wait for her to get over it. That's all you can do. No-one died, poo happens.

She'l fancy someone else soon enough. And as a previous poster said, she doesn't own him.

As for your other friends not talking to you.... would they ever get a hobby. Obviously they love the drama of all this and have nothing better to do with their time.

T'will be grand.;)

sunnyd · 03-06-2008 12:59AM

Thanks, yep i no i broke the rules but it was just a kiss. a long one but still a kiss. Forgot to say that she was with him before though not so long ago and has been talking bout him ever since. I cant even apologise she wont answer my calls and keeps avoiding me........

BraziliaNZ · 03-06-2008 01:42AM

How old are you two like 12?

sunnyd · 03-06-2008 01:47AM

Ha.. thanks!! Im 23, she's 25...

MagicMarker · 03-06-2008 05:30AM

You were in the wrong, you shouldn't have done it.. Your friend will be pissed for a while but it will blow over eventually.

Overheal · 03-06-2008 05:35AM

Bros before Ho's, as the saying goes. MagicMarker is right; it'll pass.

nkay1985 · 03-06-2008 05:47AM

sunnyd wrote: »

Ha.. thanks!! Im 23, she's 25...

Jesus, that has actually shocked me! I honestly believed the two of you were about 16 (and only even that old because you mentioned being drunk). This sounds like really childish behaviour, the kinda stuff I listened to my female friends go on about when were about 13!

She should grow up and get over it, and you should grow up and know better tbh.

iPoker · 03-06-2008 05:49AM

sunnyd wrote: »

So i kissed a guy that my best friend really likes, i was drunk but thats no excuse. she found out and wont talk to me, in fact she is totally avoiding me and ignoring me. i no i shouldnt of done it but i didnt think it was such a major deal that she now wont talk to me. even some of my other friends wont talk to me either. was i wrong to think they wud or wat??? are they overreacting?? I just dont know... im confused. any advice is more than welcome

...Paris changes everything

Reku · 03-06-2008 08:07AM

SDooM wrote: »

She's acting like a child. She doesn't own the guy.

give her a few weeks to realise how she's acting. If she doesn't get over it, she isn't worth it.

Agreed, I've always found this whole: "well I don't like him well enough to go after him but everyone else had better leave him alone, he's mine" thing that seems to exist with some girls a bit baffling. There's already less males than females anyway, what hope are folks to have of dating if half the lads have apparently been earmarked for specific ladies without their consent or knowledge?
Your friend should either pluck up the courage to tell him she still likes him or stop complaining that someone else got there first. If he turns her down he's fair game, regardless of her sour grapes (though do give it a bit of time just to appear not completely unsympathetic to her feelings).
Yes, you should have told your friend first that you were interested in him and planned to make a move, give her a last notice to voice her feelings to him or forget about him, but getting your friends to ignore you over this is a little OTT as a reaction from her.

Deedsie · 03-06-2008 08:22AM

Id have nothing to do with you. Surprised everyone is sympathizing with you. If you were really her friend you wouldnt carry on with someone your friend is interested in. If i was her id cut you out of my life, wouldnt be fair to try influence ye're mutual friends against you though.

TPD · 03-06-2008 10:48AM

Deedsie wrote: »

Id have nothing to do with you. Surprised everyone is sympathizing with you. If you were really her friend you wouldnt carry on with someone your friend is interested in. If i was her id cut you out of my life, wouldnt be fair to try influence ye're mutual friends against you though.

Thats a bit harsh, it was just a kiss. I could understand cutting the OP out of the 'friends' life if she'd kissed the 'friends' boyfriend, but it was just some guy she liked.

RedXIV · 03-06-2008 10:58AM

Deedsie wrote: »

Id have nothing to do with you. Surprised everyone is sympathizing with you. If you were really her friend you wouldnt carry on with someone your friend is interested in. If i was her id cut you out of my life, wouldnt be fair to try influence ye're mutual friends against you though.

Ok, lets be honest here, the guy is not property, he's not owned by anyone and people that believe that just because you like someone, they are offlimits to everyone else is just plain ridiculous. And if the guy you were after heard something like the above, i GUARANTEE, he'd lose interest in a heartbeat.

OP, ok, we all know about the idea of "I like him, so please don't take him from me" which GENERALLY leaves when you leave teens. As said above, if you're friend doesn't cop on soon, you haven't lost much of a friend

aye · 03-06-2008 10:59AM

sunnyd wrote: »

Thanks, yep i no i broke the rules but it was just a kiss. a long one but still a kiss. Forgot to say that she was with him before though not so long ago and has been talking bout him ever since. I cant even apologise she wont answer my calls and keeps avoiding me........

the fact that she was with him before and has been talking about him ever since means you knew she really liked him but still went off and kissed him.
it will blow over, but i understand where your friend is coming from.

minidazzler · 03-06-2008 11:25AM

This is just funny, (made funnier but your Ages)

In fairness ye can't lay sole dibs on a Guy. Whatever about saying "I get first craic at him if I dont get anywhere then go ahead!" But saying "Mine!!!" Is Very Childish of her. She should really learn to share.

Max_Damage · 03-06-2008 11:40AM

Sharing is caring.

Deedsie · 03-06-2008 11:43AM

No to me its nothing to do with the lad involved. She wronged her "friend". I just gave my honest opinion. OP is 23. Time to grow up and realise this kinda thing upsets some people.

If you confided your interest in someone you had already kissed. And the person you confided in swooped in and just stole the person i wouldn't even give you the pleasure of being thck with you. Id cut you from my thoughts and forget you forever and the next five.

You cheated on your friend in my opinion.

Wibbs · 03-06-2008 01:32PM

While technically people are not off limits I do agree with this....

aye wrote: »

the fact that she was with him before and has been talking about him ever since means you knew she really liked him but still went off and kissed him.
it will blow over, but i understand where your friend is coming from.

If a mate of mine did this after knowing I was into a woman and knowing I had gotten somewhere with her before, I wouldn't be the happiest camper in the tent. Not over the woman per se, but over the lack of respect a mate would have had for me. It would depend on a lot of things. How much he knew, how much of an effort I had put in etc, but still. All's fair in love and war, but with mates involved it's a differnt thing IMHO.

jellie · 03-06-2008 01:43PM

sunnyd wrote: »

Thanks, yep i no i broke the rules but it was just a kiss. a long one but still a kiss. Forgot to say that she was with him before though not so long ago and has been talking bout him ever since. I cant even apologise she wont answer my calls and keeps avoiding me........

To be honest if i was into a guy, & my friend knew it i wouldnt think of her as much of a friend if she went after him.

though it depends on the situation. if you genuinely like him it does make a bit of a difference, but if it was just a score then whats the point in hurting your friend?

Nevyn · 03-06-2008 02:16PM

We don't expect those we think have our back to stab us in the back but
the course of love ner did run smooth and s/he who hesitates is lost.

If you friend was actively perusing this guy then I think you were wrong to get in the way,
if she had just called dibs and was day dreaming and waiting around for him to notice her again then tough. She could have been the one talking with him and she could have kissed him again.

If he was interested enough he would have pursued her and would not have snogged you
unless he was trying to give her some sort of indirect message of tying to make her jealous to get her to strike him of her list ( which is stupid head games ).

As for how your friend is treating you well clearly she is feeling hurt and upset by this and nothing you are going to say will change how she is feeling and chances are she is not currently able to see your side of it, so give her time and space.

July · 03-06-2008 02:28PM

sunnyd wrote: »

Forgot to say that she was with him before though not so long ago and has been talking bout him ever since.

Ha! You forgot to say? You forgot about that fact too when you kissed a guy your friend had kissed and was interested in.

You should not have done it. You're not her friend. She will be better off without you. Leave the poor girl alone.

RedXIV · 03-06-2008 02:35PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

If you friend was actively perusing this guy then I think you were wrong to get in the way,
if she had just called dibs and was day dreaming and waiting around for him to notice her again then tough. She could have been the one talking with him and she could have kissed him again.

^ Best argument here. OP if your friend was actively trying to get with this guy, then your in the wrong. If she was waiting for him to realise how amazing she was and come to her, she's in the wrong

cowzerp · 03-06-2008 02:41PM

no big deal, she's over reacting-if she wanted to go out with him why did she not ask him out?? was he meant to stay single forever untill she decided to do something about it, this is 13 year old stuff!

melekalikimaka · 03-06-2008 02:43PM

not a wise move, you'd hung dried and quartered if you were my friend

Deedsie · 03-06-2008 03:19PM

How anyone can defend the OP is beyond me. She blatantly stabbed her friend in the back. Perhaps a bit strong, but she certainly didnt consider her friends feelings or what effect her actions would have on there group of friends. For what? a kiss. Shocking lack of consideration. Showed very little remorse and is now on here looking for vindication.

cowzerp · 03-06-2008 03:23PM

It was not her friends boyfriend! and as i said before, the friend could have pursued him if she chose, she did'nt-why? her loss, this is how we all behaved at 12!

Grow up people

RedXIV · 03-06-2008 03:25PM

Deedsie wrote: »

How anyone can defend the OP is beyond me. She blatantly stabbed her friend in the back. Perhaps a bit strong, but she certainly didnt consider her friends feelings or what effect her actions would have on there group of friends. For what? a kiss. Shocking lack of consideration. Showed very little remorse and is now on here looking for vindication.

Floating through replies, i can see the distinction. Guys really do believe that its not a big deal where as the majority of the girls class this as the same as treason.

Let us examine an extreme example. how many girls do we know all love, for the sake of argument, brad pitt. If any girl in ireland scored him, would all her friends who fancied brad pitt ditch her? would they accuse the girl of stabbing them in the back? Girls who would throw a friend away, one who may have proven themselves in many situations as a good friend, because of a potential bf that could very easily mess the original girl around do not strike me as good friends in the first place

jellie · 03-06-2008 03:44PM

RedXIV wrote: »

Let us examine an extreme example. how many girls do we know all love, for the sake of argument, brad pitt. If any girl in ireland scored him, would all her friends who fancied brad pitt ditch her? would they accuse the girl of stabbing them in the back? Girls who would throw a friend away, one who may have proven themselves in many situations as a good friend, because of a potential bf that could very easily mess the original girl around do not strike me as good friends in the first place

But what if the girl who was with Brad Pitt didnt actually LIKE him but just did it cause she could?

sorry weird logic.

i just think if something means nothing to you but a lot to your friend you dont do anything to hurt the friend.

Although the OP hasnt said whether or not she did like the guy.

(i really need to get off boards & do some work..)

only_me · 03-06-2008 04:27PM

You betrayed your friend's trust, showed total disregard for her feelings, and on top of that, you probably humiliated her as well. I don't think she's over-reacting in not talking to you. You even said at one point they had been with each other, so it wasn't just a passing fancy!
If it were me, I would cut you out of my life as soon as I found out, no-one needs a 'friend' like that. On top of that, what's stopping you doing it again, when you don't even seem to understand why she's upset?!!

Kissed someone my friend likes

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