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BGRH Escorts Inc.

  • 28-05-2008 01:53PM
    #1
    Slow Motion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭


    Feeling lonely and unapreciated, are you a wimmin?
    Then BGRH Escorts Inc. may have the answer to all your problems.
    For a nominal fee you can hire your very own BGRH brother.
    What will this wonderfull service include?

    Beer swilling - The brother will be happy to sit on your couch and down as many beers as you can feed him.

    Farting & belching - Tired of that smell of potpourri and girly scented candles. After a sufficient amount of beers the brother will eradicate these noisome odors.

    Cooking tips - By supplying a regular supply of rasher sambos and piza the brother will give you tips on sambo technique if your offerings aren't up to scratch.

    Sexual healing - BJ and steak day explained.

    Ass patting - This is an additional service that can be provided for a little more cash, a gold service if you will, the increase in your self esteem will be well worth it.


    This is a new service and questions and suggestions for additional services are welcome, enquire below!


«13

Comments

  • #2
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,190 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Sounds ok to me .We could even have special 2 for the price of one days and FREEEBIES to

    sign me up as an escort please :D


  • #3
    Will
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    I aint no street bootay!


  • #4
    citytillidie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,113 ✭✭✭✭citytillidie


    Oh so its no rose of tralee escort service

    ******



  • #5
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    citytillidie wrote: »
    Oh so its no rose of tralee escort service

    That it ain't.


  • #6
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    An ex teacher of mine was a rose of Tralee escort and he made hints that it was rather a good laugh :)

    I wish ye all the best with this venture, it's a niche market that no one seems to have capitalised on.


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  • #7
    Splinter
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Splinter


    i may not be a traditional brother but i shall entertain with my fire juggling if that is what is wanted...

    *note: will stop every few minutes for another pint.... juggling may get dodgy after a few...*


  • #8
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    you forgot two of the biggest advantages of having a BGRH escort:

    1. our beer gut provides warmth in the winter

    2. our beer guy provides shade in the summer (for the sunbathing wimmins)


  • #9
    GAAman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,370 ✭✭✭GAAman


    The Bollox wrote: »
    2. our beer guy provides shade in the summer (for the sunbathing wimmins)

    You have a beer guy? That is such a good idea!! :D


  • #10
    dfx-
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,816 Mod ✭✭✭✭dfx-


    I dunno, sounds like a big commitment tbh, Brother Slow..


  • #11
    LostinBlanch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭LostinBlanch


    Slomo,

    I like your thinking. Spread the love man, spread the love.


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  • #12
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,406 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    hmm, I think I could be interested in a new career, so count me in


  • #13
    Sherifu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Yolonda Jones reporting for duty.


  • #14
    Slow Motion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Slow Motion


    dfx- wrote: »
    I dunno, sounds like a big commitment tbh, Brother Slow..

    No it would be a paid commitment;)


  • #15
    grames_bond
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,820 ✭✭✭grames_bond


    Kharn wrote: »
    An ex teacher of mine was a rose of Tralee escort and he made hints that it was rather a good laugh :).

    i had a teacher who entered the rose of tralee :pac:

    anyway sign me up!


  • #16
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    One of my exes was an escort at the Rose of tralee...freaky.


  • #17
    dfx-
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,816 Mod ✭✭✭✭dfx-


    What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

    What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

    Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

    It's a minefield out there:eek:


  • #18
    Slow Motion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Slow Motion


    dfx- wrote: »
    What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

    What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

    Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

    It's a minefield out there:eek:

    Ah no, you see there would be SLAs and contracts involved, we couldn't have a brother wasting away now!


  • #19
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    dfx- wrote: »
    What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

    What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

    Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

    It's a minefield out there:eek:
    I'm sure every escort with come with a set of SOPs?


  • #20
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    dfx- wrote: »
    What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

    What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

    Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

    It's a minefield out there:eek:

    There is a 6 weeks intensive course all escorts will have to do to prepare themselves to deal with such a situation.

    Times and cost of the course will be published soon.


  • #21
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Slow Motion wrote: »
    Ah no, you see there would be SLAs and contracts involved, we couldn't have a brother wasting away now!

    Yes I will be drawing the agreements and wrangling clients and there will be series of saftey checks done by phone to the escort while they are escorting.


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  • #22
    dfx-
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,816 Mod ✭✭✭✭dfx-


    Intensive is a scary word :eek:

    Does the brother get a share of the fee? I am being persuaded...


  • #23
    citytillidie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,113 ✭✭✭✭citytillidie


    Its free food and drink why do you need to be persuaded

    ******



  • #24
    jester77
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    I would be up for this, so long as the wimmin aren't expecting any sort of "happy ending" as part of the service!


  • #25
    grames_bond
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,820 ✭✭✭grames_bond


    citytillidie wrote: »
    Its free food and drink why do you need to be persuaded

    and also you get to go out with one of the wiimmins! :D


  • #26
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,406 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    jester77 wrote: »
    I would be up for this, so long as the wimmin aren't expecting any sort of "happy ending" as part of the service!

    interesting that a brother would admit to not being able to provide a "happy ending"


  • #27
    Slow Motion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Slow Motion


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Yes I will be drawing the agreements and wrangling clients and there will be series of saftey checks done by phone to the escort while they are working.

    *Taps post* Ahem you mean Escorting;)


  • #28
    jester77
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    jsb wrote: »
    interesting that a brother would admit to not being able to provide a "happy ending"

    oh, but I never said anything about not being able to provide one, but you got to remember the effort involved!


  • #29
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,406 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    sure ;) excuses excuses :D


  • #30
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    jester77 wrote: »
    oh, but I never said anything about not being able to provide one, but you got to remember the effort involved!



    Effort??? Effort?? are you implying the wimmins would require effort?

    here ya go...
    shovel.jpg


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  • #31
    ChewChew
    Moderators Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭ChewChew


    I feel very hard done by with this.

    When I enter teh bar I sometimes (ok most of the time) feel like one of the brothers. Even though I is a wimminz.

    I do not make shambo's. I only eat them.

    I do not partake in the washing up.

    I drink only beer.

    I'll belch and fart like the rest of you boys if you wish.

    I have a gut, and currently working on filling it with beer.

    I'm getting old and losing the hair everytime I wash it.


    Now do I not fit the category to be an escort to a brother, who matter of factly, may be more of a wimminz than I is??


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