BGRH Escorts Inc.

Slow Motion

Feeling lonely and unapreciated, are you a wimmin?
Then BGRH Escorts Inc. may have the answer to all your problems.
For a nominal fee you can hire your very own BGRH brother.
What will this wonderfull service include?

Beer swilling - The brother will be happy to sit on your couch and down as many beers as you can feed him.

Farting & belching - Tired of that smell of potpourri and girly scented candles. After a sufficient amount of beers the brother will eradicate these noisome odors.

Cooking tips - By supplying a regular supply of rasher sambos and piza the brother will give you tips on sambo technique if your offerings aren't up to scratch.

Sexual healing - BJ and steak day explained.

Ass patting - This is an additional service that can be provided for a little more cash, a gold service if you will, the increase in your self esteem will be well worth it.


This is a new service and questions and suggestions for additional services are welcome, enquire below!

Latchy

Sounds ok to me .We could even have special 2 for the price of one days and FREEEBIES to

sign me up as an escort please

Will

I aint no street bootay!

citytillidie

Oh so its no rose of tralee escort service

Nevyn

citytillidie wrote: »

Oh so its no rose of tralee escort service

That it ain't.

Shiminay

An ex teacher of mine was a rose of Tralee escort and he made hints that it was rather a good laugh

I wish ye all the best with this venture, it's a niche market that no one seems to have capitalised on.

Splinter

i may not be a traditional brother but i shall entertain with my fire juggling if that is what is wanted...

*note: will stop every few minutes for another pint.... juggling may get dodgy after a few...*

The Bollox

you forgot two of the biggest advantages of having a BGRH escort:

1. our beer gut provides warmth in the winter

2. our beer guy provides shade in the summer (for the sunbathing wimmins)

GAAman

The Bollox wrote: »

2. our beer guy provides shade in the summer (for the sunbathing wimmins)

You have a beer guy? That is such a good idea!!

dfx-

I dunno, sounds like a big commitment tbh, Brother Slow..

LostinBlanch

Slomo,

I like your thinking. Spread the love man, spread the love.

justsomebloke

hmm, I think I could be interested in a new career, so count me in

Sherifu

Yolonda Jones reporting for duty.

Slow Motion

dfx- wrote: »

I dunno, sounds like a big commitment tbh, Brother Slow..

No it would be a paid commitment;)

grames_bond

Kharn wrote: »

An ex teacher of mine was a rose of Tralee escort and he made hints that it was rather a good laugh .

i had a teacher who entered the rose of tralee :pac:

anyway sign me up!

Ginny

One of my exes was an escort at the Rose of tralee...freaky.

dfx-

What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

It's a minefield out there:eek:

Slow Motion

dfx- wrote: »

What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

It's a minefield out there:eek:

Ah no, you see there would be SLAs and contracts involved, we couldn't have a brother wasting away now!

Ginny

dfx- wrote: »

What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

It's a minefield out there:eek:

I'm sure every escort with come with a set of SOPs?

Nevyn

dfx- wrote: »

What if the wimmin in question doesn't have enough beers to feed a brother with? Sobriety is not worth that. What if she has budweiser or light products?

What if a naive wimmin puts salad in the her first rasher sambo not knowing the health effects she might be inflicting on a brother?

Is a house with pungent potpourri a safe environment for a brother before he amends the situation after beers?

It's a minefield out there:eek:

There is a 6 weeks intensive course all escorts will have to do to prepare themselves to deal with such a situation.

Times and cost of the course will be published soon.

Nevyn

Slow Motion wrote: »

Ah no, you see there would be SLAs and contracts involved, we couldn't have a brother wasting away now!

Yes I will be drawing the agreements and wrangling clients and there will be series of saftey checks done by phone to the escort while they are escorting.

dfx-

Intensive is a scary word :eek:

Does the brother get a share of the fee? I am being persuaded...

citytillidie

Its free food and drink why do you need to be persuaded

jester77

I would be up for this, so long as the wimmin aren't expecting any sort of "happy ending" as part of the service!

grames_bond

citytillidie wrote: »

Its free food and drink why do you need to be persuaded

and also you get to go out with one of the wiimmins!

justsomebloke

jester77 wrote: »

I would be up for this, so long as the wimmin aren't expecting any sort of "happy ending" as part of the service!

interesting that a brother would admit to not being able to provide a "happy ending"

Slow Motion

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yes I will be drawing the agreements and wrangling clients and there will be series of saftey checks done by phone to the escort while they are working.

*Taps post* Ahem you mean Escorting;)

jester77

jsb wrote: »

interesting that a brother would admit to not being able to provide a "happy ending"

oh, but I never said anything about not being able to provide one, but you got to remember the effort involved!

justsomebloke

sure excuses excuses

Ginny

jester77 wrote: »

oh, but I never said anything about not being able to provide one, but you got to remember the effort involved!

Effort??? Effort?? are you implying the wimmins would require effort?

here ya go...

ChewChew

I feel very hard done by with this.

When I enter teh bar I sometimes (ok most of the time) feel like one of the brothers. Even though I is a wimminz.

I do not make shambo's. I only eat them.

I do not partake in the washing up.

I drink only beer.

I'll belch and fart like the rest of you boys if you wish.

I have a gut, and currently working on filling it with beer.

I'm getting old and losing the hair everytime I wash it.


Now do I not fit the category to be an escort to a brother, who matter of factly, may be more of a wimminz than I is??

citytillidie

Chewy

You can fill in the special requests if the wimmin enquires about other female attention

Galvasean

ChewChew wrote: »

I feel very hard done by with this.

When I enter teh bar I sometimes (ok most of the time) feel like one of the brothers. Even though I is a wimminz.

I do not make shambo's. I only eat them.

I do not partake in the washing up.

I drink only beer.

I'll belch and fart like the rest of you boys if you wish.

I have a gut, and currently working on filling it with beer.

I'm getting old and losing the hair everytime I wash it.

You know, youre only a nip or two away from being one of us.

ruthiedv

Slow Motion wrote: »

This is a new service and questions and suggestions for additional services are welcome, enquire below!

I think your idea is nothing short of genius. You have identified a definite need there. Maybe optional toilet blocking and sheet skidding services to make sure we're nice and busy and so don't interrupt the beer drinking with conversation and other unnecessary trivia.

legspin

Kharn wrote: »

An ex teacher of mine was a rose of Tralee escort and he made hints that it was rather a good laugh

.

I know a couple of blokes who were escorts and they said 'twas good craic alright but they had to pay for pretty much everything themselves. No free beer in other words.

Nevyn

This is a very different type of service.

Splinter

grames_bond wrote: »

i had a teacher who entered the rose of tralee :pac:

anyway sign me up!

did she enjoy being entered?

ruthiedv

John Mason

Hi

I would like an escort for this weekend, please, as my usual will be away and i wont know what to do with myself.

I like making rasher sandwiches and fetching beer

thank you

Slow Motion

irishbird wrote: »

Hi

I would like an escort for this weekend, please, as my usual will be away and i wont know what to do with myself.

I like making rasher sandwiches and fetching beer

thank you

Ahh! Our first customer, well Miss I see you already have the two core competencies covered, do you have any specific requirements? Specialist sports knowledge, some of our escorts have a limited interest. We could throw in a bout of crotch scratching for a special introductory price!

John Mason

Slow Motion wrote: »

Ahh! Our first customer, well Miss I see you already have the two core competencies covered, do you have any specific requirements? Specialist sports knowledge, some of our escorts have a limited interest. We could throw in a bout of crotch scratching for a special introductory price!

that sounds good and probably an all consuming interest in football to the point where i cease to exist would be good (or even some other intane sporting event)

Slow Motion

irishbird wrote: »

that sounds good and probably an all consuming interest in football to the point where i cease to exist would be good (or even some other intane sporting event)

I don't think that would be possible, passion for food and beer are the pre-eminent requisits for our escorts, sport while high on some agendas must come behind these, otherwise such and individual would not be able to claim the status of BGRH escort and would meerely be an escort and liable to be confused with a car!

LostinBlanch

Jaysus Slomo,

for the first customer you could at least throw in the farting and belching for free!

grames_bond

LostinBlanch wrote: »

Jaysus Slomo,

for the first customer you could at least throw in the farting and belching for free!

...and free ass pats, i think that would get the word around at how professional the escorts are! thus increasing interest!

Slow Motion

LostinBlanch wrote: »

Jaysus Slomo,

for the first customer you could at least throw in the farting and belching for free!

grames_bond wrote: »

...and free ass pats, i think that would get the word around at how professional the escorts are! thus increasing interest!

At this point everything is open to negotiation!

The Bollox

Slow Motion wrote: »

At this point everything is open to negotiation!

I fully agree. if you keep giving and giving then the wimmins are going to keep wanting more and more reductions. make them work for the reductions

DJ_Spider

I like escorts, but I think the Mondeo has a better shape. Oh...sorry are we talking about the same sort of escort? :eek:

Rob_l

grames_bond wrote: »

...and free ass pats, i think that would get the word around at how professional the escorts are! thus increasing interest!

These are specialist services some of us spent years getting to the level we are at now and you want us to just give it away for free:eek::eek:

Slow Motion

Rob_l wrote: »

These are specialist services some of us spent years getting to the level we are at now and you want us to just give it away for free:eek::eek:

That's quite true, the ass pat is a very well honed and practised movement and only to be trusted to a senior brother, I couldn't allow an Escort to administer one without proper preparation and due consideration, thus the reason for the extra charge in the first place!

grames_bond

Slow Motion wrote: »

That's quite true, the ass pat is a very well honed and practised movement and only to be trusted to a senior brother, I couldn't allow an Escort to administer one without proper preparation and due consideration, thus the reason for the extra charge in the first place!

i totally understand that, i for one have mastered the ass pat i am proud to say! but to peak up interest and to get wimmins signing up maybe the first wimmin to order gets one for free! then word will spread of how good they are!

Galvasean

grames_bond wrote: »

i for one have mastered the ass pat i am proud to say!

Your experience counts for nothing here boy!