Children misbehaving

nomorebadtown · 25-05-2008 01:09PM

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Enii · 25-05-2008 01:15PM

Abigayle wrote: »

Parents get baby-sitters to come by when they want to have a quiet drink without their children. Families are entitled to go out for dinner as much as singletons. Or do you suggest they eat only in McDonalds?

Yes but other parents who have done the responsible thing and got a babysitter for their children don't want to sit in a noisy restaurant with other people's children.

My rule is I only eat in restaurants with humans who can pay for their own meal!;) - And not with money they got last week for their communion!

Abi · 25-05-2008 01:19PM

JangoFett wrote: »

I might start saying things to people, kids have the tendency to run and fall down and restaurants aren't childproof, and next thing little jimmy falls over, loses and eye, cuts himself whatever and the restaurant gets sued because the parents weren't watching their child. It happens all the time

While agree with you that accidents happen, I'd be very careful about how you put things to a parent. Their kids might be a nightmare, but the kids are still their little nightmares.

My kids dont run around. But they do raise their voices a little too much because they are young and excited. But nobody could fault that. If there is no sign to say children arent allowed on the premises, then it is assumed their customer is valued, and they are welcome. If people are present that have no families are a little pissed off with noisy or giddy kids, then they should complain to the manager.

But unless the kids are off the walls, the chances are the management arent going to come down on the parents like a tonne of bricks. They are after all, in it to make a profit.

Enii wrote: »

Yes but other parents who have done the responsible thing and got a babysitter for their children don't want to sit in a noisy restaurant with other people's children.

I think the OP was referring to a pub.

goodburger · 25-05-2008 01:19PM

I have 3 children and we bring them out to pubs and restaurants for lunch most sundays and the odd time during the week, we would not necessarily be drinking alcohol. I think they have learned over time how to behave in public, because they sit and talk and chat and in general enjoy the experience. If it was something that we rarely did, I feel they would be like bulls in a china shop and they would see it as such a novelty that they couldnt help themselves going a bit wild. I find the most annoying thing my lot do is keep wanting to go to the loo.

Anything to do with our children is always a very emotive subject because children are a reflection of ourselves and no one wants to be thought of as a bad or uncaring parent. My children are not perfect by any means but they know how to behave in public while having dinner out, if we were to get a babysitter and leave them at home all the time they would never learn how to behave in this situation.

AnonoBoy · 25-05-2008 01:22PM

When I was a kid and we were brought anywhere public if we ran riot we would have been killed by our parents. So we didn't. We knew if we misbehaved there would be trouble. And that was the thing - we knew it was misbehaving because our parents brought us up properly.

JangoFett · 25-05-2008 01:26PM

tallaght01 wrote: »

ADHD is absoloutely not new. It's diagnosed more often now because A) there's treatments for it now and There's proper diagnostic criteria for it now.

People weren't the same. When you were a kid those ADHD sufferers went without treatment, and misse dout on an education. At least now they have a hope. But even with ritalin/risperidone it's still a struggle for them.

There were stacks of mental kids at my school. but no-one went looking too hard for ADHD because there was nothing you could do about it.

I still think slapping is wrong. It's still an adult beating a child. If an adult clattered you, you'd run to the cops. But you can beat a tiny defenceless person. I can't get my head around that, but it's an age old argument that'll never be resolved in my lifetime.

If you think kids won't mind you taking away their games console for a week, then you've not got alot of experience with kids. The point was a general one. It doesn't have to be their computer. There are all kinds of things that kids love, and would hate to have taken away...be it ballet lessons, soccer training etc. Those techniques work far better than smacking.

Just look at people beating the crap out of their kids in supermarkets etc. It never works. It's a medieval parenting technique that people delude themselves into thinking is effective, because they've not consistently employed other strategies.

I'm not saying you beat your child, obviously the ones who beat the kids in Supermarkets are doing things wrong as well. But a slap wouldn't go astray in some cases. I'm not saying I'd be a good parent, in fact, I think I'd be a lousy parent but these kids lack discipline and fear/respect. Fear and respect can go hand in hand, and these kids have none

chuci · 25-05-2008 01:30PM

i hate when kids run riot just bugs me. if im paying to eat out i want it to be in a nice environment.

JangoFett · 25-05-2008 01:34PM

And you can't have a "no children allowed" sign...SOMEONE will sue you

tallaght01 · 25-05-2008 01:34PM

JangoFett wrote: »

I'm not saying you beat your child, obviously the ones who beat the kids in Supermarkets are doing things wrong as well. But a slap wouldn't go astray in some cases. I'm not saying I'd be a good parent, in fact, I think I'd be a lousy parent but these kids lack discipline and fear/respect. Fear and respect can go hand in hand, and these kids have none

Where's the line between "beating" your child, and "slapping" them? Ask a toddler what they think about getting hit by, say, a 100kg man!

Fear and respect certainly don't go hand in hand. They are almost mutually exclusive in children.

The simple point at the end of the day is that you don't have to hit a child for them to fear OR respect you. I can't believe anyone thinks violence towards children is neccesary. But like I said...age old argument. Always gets the same old "I have enough sense to know when I'm beating my child and when I'm slapping them".

JangoFett · 25-05-2008 01:41PM

Its a good point, at what point does slapping become beating, its a tough one.

If it was me it'd be one slap whether it be on the backside or the back of the hand, never the face. What I'm talking about isn't violence towards children, its discipline. And sometimes taking kids toys away doesn't work, sometimes that sends them into tantrums and thats down to lack of discipline and thinking they;ll get their way if they scream louder and louder. In that case, A slap could work. Then when the child has calmed down, communicate with him/her why they got the slap and that behavior isn't acceptable, but kids don't really get that kinda thing

tallaght01 · 25-05-2008 02:18PM

JangoFett wrote: »

Its a good point, at what point does slapping become beating, its a tough one.

If it was me it'd be one slap whether it be on the backside or the back of the hand, never the face. What I'm talking about isn't violence towards children, its discipline. And sometimes taking kids toys away doesn't work, sometimes that sends them into tantrums and thats down to lack of discipline and thinking they;ll get their way if they scream louder and louder. In that case, A slap could work. Then when the child has calmed down, communicate with him/her why they got the slap and that behavior isn't acceptable, but kids don't really get that kinda thing

I'll disagree with you on that one, but then we'll just have to agree to disagree.

I think you confiscate something from a child...they throw a tantrum...you let them throw their tantrum. They do it because they think it'll help get their toy or whatever back. It's a learned bahviour. It's why spolied children do it the most. But you should just ignore them. Easier said than done. But it's not easy being a parent. Let them throw all the tantrums in the world. But never let a tantrum result in you caving in. Once you do that consistently over a period of time their behaviour will, by and large change. But I know a lot of people will disagree with that.

And you're absoloutely right in that it's tough to draw the line between what's smacking and what's beating. They tried to do it in the UK, but there's never really been any proper consensus on it. It's a real murky area. You'd be amazed at the differeing views of people on it. And, sadly, there's that minority where the line gets completely overstepped, and we have seen many children seriously seriously injured in the name of "discipline".

challengemaster · 25-05-2008 02:27PM

I'd say almost everyone posting on this thread probably ran a riot when they were kids too. It's what kids do. IMO let them have their fun, only kids once.

Heinrich · 25-05-2008 02:42PM

An unruly adult in a pub is usually asked to leave! Please do not inflict your unruly brats on the other customers. There are other pursuits for a Sunday afternoon besides the pub and the culture it wallows in.

25-05-2008 02:43PM

It's with times like this that I'm glad that my local doesn't serve food.

(I usually give out about it!)

Heinrich · 25-05-2008 02:47PM

Myth wrote: »

It's with times like this that I'm glad that my local doesn't serve food.

(I usually give out about it!)

My local serves parents with unruly brats but not food. They come in with their horrors and send the kids off to the Spar next door to buy crisps and coke! No big profit in that for the publican. These folk are only to be seen on Sundays. Regulars don't make a mess, take up table space and destroy the furnishings and carpets with crisps and spilled coke.

MissHoneyBun · 25-05-2008 02:48PM

I think one of the main problems is that today many parents are cash rich and time poor. They spend all week working, commuting and have little time for their children. Then the weekend rolls around and Mum&Dad want some R&R so the kids get brought, often, to adult environments. Problem is Mum&Dad feel too guilty at the lack of available "quality time" with the little darlings so when they inevitably start acting up, largely through boredom, Mum&Dad are reluctant to discipline them properly. I love kids but until I decide to have children myself I should not be expected to facilitate them.

Ross_Mahon · 25-05-2008 02:59PM

Ever watch 'Nanny 911'? Its gas, The parents are useless!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVos31ITXsE

Children misbehaving

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