Children misbehaving

anonymous69

Hi,

Is it just me who this annoys?? I mean.... you go the pub for dinner, and you have at the next table, 5 or 6 screaming kids, not eating the dinner, thinking the pub is a playground for them to runa around, and the floor a bed. While the parents sit and just zone out on what the kids are doing??! I know that this is the parents fault for not controlling the kids. But is it too much to want a quiet dinner? When did pubs/restaurants became playgrounds??

And there's loads of other examples of this, where parents dont control their kids in an adult environemt, where they should not be acting up.

Most of my friends give out when I complain about this, saying kids are kids. Yes they are kids, however should therefore be in a playground, instead of a nice restaurant/pub.

Peoples opinions??

Nerin

its not that children should not be allowed in a pub if it serves food (like a holiday destination etc)
but that the kids should have some freakin manners!!
kids in other countries are well behaved in the same situations,why cant ours.

Gaspode

This thread is likely to be moved elsewhere, but heres my tuppence worth. Kids should not be in pubs unless they can sit at the table and behave. Full stop. If they have to run around, then take them to McDs or similar.
I've taken my kids to the pub on rare occassions, though only to eat (some people go drinking and take the sprogs with them) and they were never allowed leave the table unless they were accompanied by one of us. It's basic manners. People who let the sprogs run riot obviously have no manners themselves, so how can the fruit of their loins be expected to have any?

Nevyn

It is the parents responsibilty to teach thier children manners.
Why didn't you complain to the bar manager ?

bronte

I love kids, but my god it's annoying when they run wild.
I work in retail on a make-up counter and the amount of kids who make a mess of the place is unreal.
You don't mind if the parents are trying their best..but some of them just don't even bother! :mad:

cazzy

I blame the parents

Ruu_Old

Some parents don't seem to give a hoot. I am just back from a busy restaurant and 4 children and about 4 adults were sitting behind us. They were running around the table, hitting into the backs our of chairs and couldn't sit still for one second. Ah back in my day, you could give them a clip on the ear and nothing would be said.

Lands Leaving

Modern bloody parenting is all touchy feely love your kids so much you cant give out to them. If parents actually stopped and looked at their childs behaviour they'd realise how bad it is, but they just get so wrapped up in being caring. So their kids will turn out to be spoiled immature brats, even as adults. im not saying smack em or anythin but kids need boundaries and parents seem to be too busy both working so end up feeling too guilty to punish. that and society has made it more embarrassing to discipline your kids than to watch them run riot.

gurramok

Aren't kids suppose to be off the pubs/restaurant premises by 6 or 7pm is it?

If i had planned a quiet meal with the other half, i've always had to do it in the evenings especially in places where its not so open plan and with partitions between the tables(yes its come to that at times:D)

Oh yeh, Sun is no-no, all the families go out to meals that day!

doonothing

you cant put all this down to the parents!
sometimes, well behaved kids misbehave, and the parents have few options at that stage!
i'm not sure what age the kids were, but most kids of most ages just plain cannot understand that other people want to have a quiet meal and they are interfering with this. it's not fair to say it's bad parenting, when it's the parents who have to deal with this constantly. sure, they're forcing you to deal with it by bring them there, but it's basic human consideration, i know i was a terror as a kid, but if i had kids i would hope the other people around would be sympathetic with the me!
and whoever said kids in other countries are better behaved, that is bollox, parents are parents regardless of nationality, good and bad children are everywhere, and the same with the parents.

and before it all kicks off, i understand that the kids should have manners, and that that is not too much to expect from a parent to instill.
yes it still annoys me when kids are loud in a restaurant etc, but i am trying to understand where the parent is coming from and not leap onto the same assumption everyone makes when talking about childre, "blame the parent" that is an easy and spiteful thing to fall back on when a bit of compassion would not go amiss.

doonothing

Lands Leaving wrote: »

Modern bloody parenting is all touchy feely love your kids so much you cant give out to them. If parents actually stopped and looked at their childs behaviour they'd realise how bad it is, but they just get so wrapped up in being caring. So their kids will turn out to be spoiled immature brats, even as adults. im not saying smack em or anythin but kids need boundaries and parents seem to be too busy both working so end up feeling too guilty to punish. that and society has made it more embarrassing to discipline your kids than to watch them run riot.

how would you propose disciplining these kids in a restaurant? i have enough faith in people to think the parents did not bring the children out in this state.
your rant about "modern parenting" is such a load of crap, what are you basing this on? are you honestly trying to say "back in my day, kids behaved better"? what?

Nerin

and whoever said kids in other countries are better behaved, that is bollox,

i said it, and i stand by it
in my experience it has been true.

gurramok

Back in the day, kids were not allowed into pubs/restaurants.

Of course its the in thing now for families to goto these places and these places ge more custom, its bound to have its downsides, how times have changed.

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

i said it, and i stand by it
in my experience it has been true.

i'm going to presume you have been in pubs and restaurants at home more often than abroad, and you can surely see how that would lead to seeing children misbehaving in ireland more often that in other countries?

what do you think is different about the fundamental family structure in these countries as opposed to ireland?

Lands Leaving

doonothing wrote: »

how would you propose disciplining these kids in a restaurant? i have enough faith in people to think the parents did not bring the children out in this state.
your rant about "modern parenting" is such a load of crap, what are you basing this on? are you honestly trying to say "back in my day, kids behaved better"? what?

I'll rant if I want! I'm basing it on seeing the same kind of crap parenting - how hard is it to just say to the child in a stern voice not to do something. If you've got boundaries set up they'll respond to you, simple as that. chaos out = chaos at home, no they probably weren't brought out like that but some parents are well able to stop their kids going mental in public.

Jigsaw

Nothing to do with either modern or old fashioned.

All about being well raised. My parents were not super strict or anything but we were told how to behave and we behaved that way. I hate wee sh1tes in restaurants running around like it is a playground.

I am in a bad mood this evening so I am going to go now. Otherwise I will get sitebanned. I am filled with a vicious hatred.

Nerin

i'm going to presume you have been in pubs and restaurants at home more often than abroad

assume what you want.

but that the kids should have some freakin manners!!
kids in other countries are well behaved in the same situations,why cant ours.

is what i said,i dont know why your getting angry over this.
but i think (this is MY own opinion) if people brought up their kids properly we wouldnt have people complaining as much about children in pubs, and maybe we wouldnt have little toe-rags on streetcorners around the country thinking its the bronx yo.
peace out

doonothing

Lands Leaving wrote: »

I'll rant if I want! I'm basing it on seeing the same kind of crap parenting - how hard is it to just say to the child in a stern voice not to do something. If you've got boundaries set up they'll respond to you, simple as that. chaos out = chaos at home, no they probably weren't brought out like that but some parents are well able to stop their kids going mental in public.

that is so naive! there are kids who will naturally accept boundaries and respond to them better, and kids who just will not! ill give you one guess which type of kid the stern voice works on.
and... i didnt say you couldnt rant, i just said that you did. sorry?

nerin wrote: »

assume what you want.
is what i said,i dont know why your getting angry over this.
but i think (this is MY own opinion) if people brought up their kids properly we wouldnt have people complaining as much about children in pubs, and maybe we wouldnt have little toe-rags on streetcorners around the country thinking its the bronx yo.
peace out

i'm not even getting angry, i just think it's ridiculous to say that children are better behaved in other countries, hell, in my experience i've seen more misbehaving children in ireland too, but i am well aware that that is because i have spent more time here!
do you honestly think no one in any other country complains about kids misbehaving? we have people complaining about it here, because there are children in out country, ones who behave and ones who misbehave, i'm pretty sure every other country has that too, and they complain about it as well.

Nerin

im pretty sure itd be a safe bet to say ireland england and the us have the worst kids.

Lands Leaving

doonothing wrote: »

that is so naive! there are kids who will naturally accept boundaries and respond to them better, and kids who just will not! ill give you one guess which type of kid the stern voice works on.
and... i didnt say you couldnt rant, i just said that you did. sorry?


I will accept your point that some kids respond better, but I still think boundaries can be established.

And sorry, I was in full rant mode when I continued ranting and so missed the subtleties of your ranting comment. I shall rant more carefully in the future.

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

im pretty sure itd be a safe bet to say ireland england and the us have the worst kids.

and you question my ability to make assumptions!? there are bad kids EVERYWHERE.

Lands Leaving wrote: »

I will accept your point that some kids respond better, but I still think boundaries can be established.

And sorry, I was in full rant mode when I continued ranting and so missed the subtleties of your ranting comment. I shall rant more carefully in the future.

boundaries can be established, but they are ,in general, depending on the mood of the child. they can easily be so upset or moody, like an adult, that they will not respond to the usual "stern voice".

i was also in full rant mode. sorry...

Nerin

as if there arent bad kids everywhere come on.
i meant that im pretty sure if a graph was created it would show that we have the worst behaved children,,,well,,except those countries with child soldiers, try setting them boundaries lol
remember,venn diagrams can prove anything!

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

as if there arent bad kids everywhere come on.
i meant that im pretty sure if a graph was created it would show that we have the worst behaved children,,,well,,except those countries with child soldiers, try setting them boundaries lol
remember,venn diagrams can prove anything!

what does that all even mean!
you even say you're "pretty sure"!
that's far too sweeping an assumption to make based on "pretty sure"!
look, without one of us finding some sort of child behaviour study by nationality, this debate is completely pointless.

i'm sure if you lived in any country for a while, you'd decide that kids misbehave because it is their nature to act out when they are upset, and not because their parents are from a certain country.

Nerin

are you confusing this thread for a racist one?just to underline it, i think irish kids are bloody awful.
what i meant earlier was that people in other countries seem to have better control of their sprogs.

that's far too sweeping an assumption to make based on "pretty sure"!

im not going to even start a back in forth with you on assumptions.

look, without one of us finding some sort of child behaviour study by nationality, this debate is completely pointless.

im too busy to bother,nor do i care enough, but if you or anyone else got links to a few id like to see them (as long as theyre short and sweet)

it is their nature to act out when they are upset

then take them out of the pub,or get a babysitter,or if they are just acting the %&£@ grab em by the arm n yank them outside n tell em to cop the hell on.
and if you are someone who sees discipling children physically as child abuse, i mean i sharp short smack when they act up, not a drunken redneck beatdown everytime they so much as breath.

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

are you confusing this thread for a racist one?just to underline it, i think irish kids are bloody awful.
what i meant earlier was that people in other countries seem to have better control of their sprogs.

im not going to even start a back in forth with you on assumptions.


im too busy to bother,nor do i care enough, but if you or anyone else got links to a few id like to see them (as long as theyre short and sweet)

then take them out of the pub,or get a babysitter,or if they are just acting the %&£@ grab em by the arm n yank them outside n tell em to cop the hell on.
and if you are someone who sees discipling children physically as child abuse, i mean i sharp short smack when they act up, not a drunken redneck beatdown everytime they so much as breath.

again i ask, what do you think other countries on the whole are doing differently? you are acting as though parenting is different depending on where you are, the methods of control (or lack of) are the same in every country!

if you are referring to the one assumption i made about you having spent more time in ireland than other countries, then i apologise if it was inaccurate. your assumptions, however, border on ridiculous.

i certainly am not arsed finding these studies if they exist, but please do make such comments based on pure speculation, and then rebuke me for an assumption which is rational and more than likely accurate. unlike yours which seem to have basis in an in depth study, and not just a few holidays here and there (yes an assumption, but not a ridiculous one by any means.)

again, i say, try to tell an upset child, no matter how stern your tone or forceful you are, to cop the hell on. how do you expect such rationality from an upset child! no matter how respectful they normally are, that is completely insane!

i'm going to bed.

Nerin

dont bring an "upset child" to the pub?

Lazarus2.0

gurramok wrote: »

Back in the day, kids were not allowed into pubs/restaurants.

Of course its the in thing now for families to goto these places and these places ge more custom, its bound to have its downsides, how times have changed.

Back in the day women werent allowed in pubs . Progress is a bummer for the anti-social folk

killwill

nerin wrote: »

dont bring an "upset child" to the pub?

That is a ridiculous comment.

Bringing children to pubs/restaurants is a way of teaching them to socialise and after awhile will act in a better manner in these circumstances. Generally speaking children are not going to sit quiet for a whole meal as they have short attention spans and get bored easily.

Easy knowing the people giving out about these children have none of their own.

And to say to "yank them by the arm outside" That is physical abuse, can hurt them and does nothing for the child except make them fear you.

Nerin

what is your answer to the problem then?
bend over backwards for them so they turn into little ghetto rats?

Back in the day, kids were not allowed in the bar area, we just sat in the garden - or in the car when it rained:(

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

dont bring an "upset child" to the pub?

i already talked about this! kids can become upset or unreasonable at anytime for any reason! it does often happen you know.

nerin wrote: »

what is your answer to the problem then?
bend over backwards for them so they turn into little ghetto rats?

he scare tactics bordering on abuse were not the solution, and you took from that that the parents should bend over backwards and the kids will turn into ghetto rats? what?!
discipline and boundaries are a basis for dealing with misbehaving children, but as with certainb protocol for dealing with, say, a drunk adult, these actions may not always apply or help! you have to take each situation individually and realise that ignoring the crying child looking for attention may be just as important for giving them boundaries as scolding them for every wrong move!

you think of children as programmable robots for some reason, they are people with moods and personalities just like the rest of us!

Reku

Ruu wrote: »

Some parents don't seem to give a hoot. I am just back from a busy restaurant and 4 children and about 4 adults were sitting behind us. They were running around the table, hitting into the backs our of chairs and couldn't sit still for one second. Ah back in my day, you could give them a clip on the ear and nothing would be said.

And this is why I feel "ADHD" is on the rise, how great is it for parents to be able to label their child as suffering from a disorder rather than from lack of any parental discipline. While in some cases there may be a genuine neurological basis for "ADHD" I'd put money on it being down to feckless wasters for parents in most cases.
Invent illnesses to blame and throw drugs at all your problems, including your own kids, seems to be the modern way of living.

*FYI when I was quite young a nurse did at one point suggest that I might be "ADHD" but thankfully my parents took no notice. Fact is I just have a really high IQ and was getting bored, a few years later (by about 2nd class) with discipline when needed and I was quite well behaved.

Mossy Monk

Children in the pub is the reason I detest the pub on Christmas Eve. I do not think it is a suitable place for children. It is always the same, parents getting hammered while the children run riot.

Driver 8

Entertainment is assured any time anyone actually confronts a parent about their children's behaviour in a public area. Nine times out of ten, I've seen the parent throw an almighty rant back in said person's face...

TwoShedsJackson

Driver 8 wrote: »

Entertainment is assured any time anyone actually confronts a parent about their children's behaviour in a public area. Nine times out of ten, I've seen the parent throw an almighty rant back in said person's face...

Because people don't like being confronted with the fact that they're probably $hite parents and shouldn't be letting their little darlings rampage around the pub.

Hrududu

Easy knowing the people giving out about these children have none of their own.

Quick someone reset the "Your opinion doesnt count because you dont have kids" clock.

If your child cannot behave then please dont ruin other people's meals by attempting to socialise them.

I've no kids, but I do have nieces and nephews.
Couple of points to make -

Ireland is one of the most child-unfriendly countries, in my travelling experience.
Ever see an Italian/Spanish/Mexican/Thai family out for a meal?
Everyone is there, from grandpa to babies. The kids rarely misbehave because they're used to being out with their families and it's no big deal to be in a restaurant.
If a child does start making noise, it's also no big deal really.
In Ireland, if your child makes a peep you get the kind of looks from fellow diners as if you had walked dog ****e across the floor.

I agree that pubs are no place for kids. However if a pub markets itself as somewhere to eat on a Sunday, however, expect families there.

To anyone who complains how people can't 'control' their kids, spend 48 hours with a three-year-old.
Believe it or not, they don't come with a remote control and and OFF button.

Rob_l

I think its hilarious when children run around pubs like lunatics, I have none of my own but watching the little bastards run around and annoy people cheers me up makes me wish I could join in the fun they seem to be having at everyone else's expense.

RoundyMooney

My kids behave themselves when out, ergo we and they have a much more enjoyable meal or whatever.

It's not bloody rocket science.

big b

While kids in any country can & do play up in public, here they seem to act like bloody savages on acid. The parents are guilt-ridden cos they spend so little time with them, so don't want to scold them. Or, and maybe also, they couldn't give a **** about anyone else's enjoyment being spoiled.

cooperguy

nerin wrote: »

im pretty sure itd be a safe bet to say ireland england and the us have the worst kids.

Haha im pretty sure thats a ridicules statement.

galah

have to agree with the lack of parenting skills frequently seen around (not just Ireland though).

Went out the other day, to a cafe, and a child (I'd say she was 7 or 8) was screaming blue murder cause she wanted chocolate. The mum ignored her, and let the kid scream, annoying everyone in the cafe. I made a comment about the screaming child (the kid was definitely old enough to be told to stop, and the mother should have been able to shut her up), and what did I get - a lot of abuse from the mother. So the mother managed to tell me off for asking the kid to shut up, but didn't manage to control her own kid? Nice.

(and I am not a cow - if the kid had been a lot younger, or in pain, or what have you, I would have understood that she was screaming, but an 8 year old screaming for chocolate? I don't think so.)

ghouldaddy07

I rember breing in the pub with the parents back in the day and how soul destroying the bordom can be.
Let ths kids run around as long as their not climbing on your table or directly interfering with you.

themadchef

I work in a family friendly pub / restaurant where we post a nice sign..."we don't mind kids, we hope you do".

If children are let run a muck, and often to be fair to most parents they are not, we politely ask a parent to please for the sake of the child, keep them under control. Explaining that children running at full speed through an open bar where hot food is served....is a open invitation for an accident. And let them know casualty is 1 hours drive away. This is usually enough. If its not then it gets a little trickier. All depends on the level of disruption and if we percieve the general safety of other people is being compromised then the issue is raised again with the parent and that pointed out....with an "I'd hate to have to ask you to leave". Point to the games room and ask them to send the children in there.

If establishments are prepared to put up with it, then speak with your feet. How would anyone feel if they had hot soup sent flyng in their direction because of one tearaway kid?

Red Hand

A simple solution: leave them in creches 24/7.:) Ah, everything all wrapped up at post 45.

Now, thread closed! Please move on! Nothing to see here!:p

echosound

It's a total lack of consideration by some lax parents that certain kids are let run riot. I don't mind noisy kids having a bit of a laugh, that's what they do, but draw the line at little gurriers running around knocking over waiting staff carrying hot dishes in their hand, slapping off other people's chairs, and generally being little terrors, which the parents either studiously ingore their offspring, or gaze indulgently at how wonderful their little miracles are.

Simple solutions, which were employed by many parents when I was a kid, and are still employed by many parents I know - if you know they are too young to sit still for a long time, either a) make sure you are in and out quickly, leaving no time for them to get overly bored, or pick an establishment that has child friendly areas like a little playarea etc and b) bring material along to occupy them.

A colouring book and some markers will suffice, or if they're past that age, a nintendo DS or such. A large part of the reason kids act up when out, is they're bored out of their trees sitting in a boring room with adults talking rubbish, give them something to occupy themselves with that involves them sitting down and having fun, rather than running round tripping people up and hurting themselves off corners. Not exactly rocket science.

I agree about children in "ford'n climes" being slightly better behaved than our own Irish children in general, the reason for this IMO is that more places are family friendly, and children learn how to behave appropriately when in a restaurant situation at an earlier age.

A lot of it is I am sure down to the parenting of many people - if kids know what is seen as "bold" and that they will see consequences for their actions they will try to remain well behaved (any kids I know do anyway), no point threatening little Cian or Isabella with a "mummy will get angry if you don't stop doing that" if mummy or daddy just keeps repeating that while smiling fondly and never follows through on their promises of consequences. I know I for one would instantly sit down and shut up when I was a young kid if my mother threw me that look that meant - you're in trouble young miss if you don't give that up.

speaktofrank

Children have to be off a licenced premises by 9pm.
Which is a pain for tourists who come into a pub wanting to listen to the diddly daddly with their perfectly behaved kids, it usually seem to be the Irish ones who seem to act up.

suzi-suz

this tread is getting annoying...i have kids and i bring them to pubs for sunday dinner not very often,but when i do they are well behaved...i think kids that are running about and screaming and shouting are BORED!!! as u would if u had to sit and wait while ur parents had a few drinks after their meal...and if u dont like the noise of kids go some where that kids are not allowed,otherwise grin and bear it kk

Nightwish

I dont think that other patrons should have to "grin and bear it" if kids are acting up. The parents should have some control over their offspring. If they are acting up, they should discipline them or as I've seen with my parents with my younger siblings - leave. Its a matter of courtesy to both the other customers and the staff of the restaurant. I mean who is in control in the parent-child relationship these days, do parents actually control their kids anymore or is it vice versa.

JangoFett

Suzi-Suz....where are kids not allowed exactly, can you enlighten me? Strip Clubs? Not a realistic option. Seriously, WHERE?

Cuz I'm sick of kids whose parent don't parent them. Any child you see running around screaming is doing so because their parents do nothing about it. My 2 cousins are well behaved when they go to places because their parents paid close attention to them growing up, they're 7 and 9, and they know what they can and cannot do in social places like pubs and restaurants.

What REALLY gripes me is parents who bring portable dvd players to retaurants for their kids. I see it a few times a week in the restaurant I work in. I mean...REALLY?! And the parents get snippy with me when there isn't a plug socket near their table! I should tell them to cop the f*ck on and pay attention to their kids or next thing they know their kids are 16 and criminals.

If you don't know how to be a parent, don't become one

Sherifu

suzi-suz wrote: »

this tread is getting annoying...i have kids and i bring them to pubs for sunday dinner not very often,but when i do they are well behaved...i think kids that are running about and screaming and shouting are BORED!!! as u would if u had to sit and wait while ur parents had a few drinks after their meal...and if u dont like the noise of kids go some where that kids are not allowed,otherwise grin and bear it kk

Irresponsible parenting. Terrible.