Children misbehaving

anonymous69

Hi,

Is it just me who this annoys?? I mean.... you go the pub for dinner, and you have at the next table, 5 or 6 screaming kids, not eating the dinner, thinking the pub is a playground for them to runa around, and the floor a bed. While the parents sit and just zone out on what the kids are doing??! I know that this is the parents fault for not controlling the kids. But is it too much to want a quiet dinner? When did pubs/restaurants became playgrounds??

And there's loads of other examples of this, where parents dont control their kids in an adult environemt, where they should not be acting up.

Most of my friends give out when I complain about this, saying kids are kids. Yes they are kids, however should therefore be in a playground, instead of a nice restaurant/pub.

Peoples opinions??

Nerin

its not that children should not be allowed in a pub if it serves food (like a holiday destination etc)
but that the kids should have some freakin manners!!
kids in other countries are well behaved in the same situations,why cant ours.

Gaspode

This thread is likely to be moved elsewhere, but heres my tuppence worth. Kids should not be in pubs unless they can sit at the table and behave. Full stop. If they have to run around, then take them to McDs or similar.
I've taken my kids to the pub on rare occassions, though only to eat (some people go drinking and take the sprogs with them) and they were never allowed leave the table unless they were accompanied by one of us. It's basic manners. People who let the sprogs run riot obviously have no manners themselves, so how can the fruit of their loins be expected to have any?

Nevyn

It is the parents responsibilty to teach thier children manners.
Why didn't you complain to the bar manager ?

bronte

I love kids, but my god it's annoying when they run wild.
I work in retail on a make-up counter and the amount of kids who make a mess of the place is unreal.
You don't mind if the parents are trying their best..but some of them just don't even bother! :mad:

cazzy

I blame the parents

Ruu_Old

Some parents don't seem to give a hoot. I am just back from a busy restaurant and 4 children and about 4 adults were sitting behind us. They were running around the table, hitting into the backs our of chairs and couldn't sit still for one second. Ah back in my day, you could give them a clip on the ear and nothing would be said.

Lands Leaving

Modern bloody parenting is all touchy feely love your kids so much you cant give out to them. If parents actually stopped and looked at their childs behaviour they'd realise how bad it is, but they just get so wrapped up in being caring. So their kids will turn out to be spoiled immature brats, even as adults. im not saying smack em or anythin but kids need boundaries and parents seem to be too busy both working so end up feeling too guilty to punish. that and society has made it more embarrassing to discipline your kids than to watch them run riot.

gurramok

Aren't kids suppose to be off the pubs/restaurant premises by 6 or 7pm is it?

If i had planned a quiet meal with the other half, i've always had to do it in the evenings especially in places where its not so open plan and with partitions between the tables(yes its come to that at times:D)

Oh yeh, Sun is no-no, all the families go out to meals that day!

doonothing

you cant put all this down to the parents!
sometimes, well behaved kids misbehave, and the parents have few options at that stage!
i'm not sure what age the kids were, but most kids of most ages just plain cannot understand that other people want to have a quiet meal and they are interfering with this. it's not fair to say it's bad parenting, when it's the parents who have to deal with this constantly. sure, they're forcing you to deal with it by bring them there, but it's basic human consideration, i know i was a terror as a kid, but if i had kids i would hope the other people around would be sympathetic with the me!
and whoever said kids in other countries are better behaved, that is bollox, parents are parents regardless of nationality, good and bad children are everywhere, and the same with the parents.

and before it all kicks off, i understand that the kids should have manners, and that that is not too much to expect from a parent to instill.
yes it still annoys me when kids are loud in a restaurant etc, but i am trying to understand where the parent is coming from and not leap onto the same assumption everyone makes when talking about childre, "blame the parent" that is an easy and spiteful thing to fall back on when a bit of compassion would not go amiss.

doonothing

Lands Leaving wrote: »

Modern bloody parenting is all touchy feely love your kids so much you cant give out to them. If parents actually stopped and looked at their childs behaviour they'd realise how bad it is, but they just get so wrapped up in being caring. So their kids will turn out to be spoiled immature brats, even as adults. im not saying smack em or anythin but kids need boundaries and parents seem to be too busy both working so end up feeling too guilty to punish. that and society has made it more embarrassing to discipline your kids than to watch them run riot.

how would you propose disciplining these kids in a restaurant? i have enough faith in people to think the parents did not bring the children out in this state.
your rant about "modern parenting" is such a load of crap, what are you basing this on? are you honestly trying to say "back in my day, kids behaved better"? what?

Nerin

and whoever said kids in other countries are better behaved, that is bollox,

i said it, and i stand by it
in my experience it has been true.

gurramok

Back in the day, kids were not allowed into pubs/restaurants.

Of course its the in thing now for families to goto these places and these places ge more custom, its bound to have its downsides, how times have changed.

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

i said it, and i stand by it
in my experience it has been true.

i'm going to presume you have been in pubs and restaurants at home more often than abroad, and you can surely see how that would lead to seeing children misbehaving in ireland more often that in other countries?

what do you think is different about the fundamental family structure in these countries as opposed to ireland?

Lands Leaving

doonothing wrote: »

how would you propose disciplining these kids in a restaurant? i have enough faith in people to think the parents did not bring the children out in this state.
your rant about "modern parenting" is such a load of crap, what are you basing this on? are you honestly trying to say "back in my day, kids behaved better"? what?

I'll rant if I want! I'm basing it on seeing the same kind of crap parenting - how hard is it to just say to the child in a stern voice not to do something. If you've got boundaries set up they'll respond to you, simple as that. chaos out = chaos at home, no they probably weren't brought out like that but some parents are well able to stop their kids going mental in public.

Jigsaw

Nothing to do with either modern or old fashioned.

All about being well raised. My parents were not super strict or anything but we were told how to behave and we behaved that way. I hate wee sh1tes in restaurants running around like it is a playground.

I am in a bad mood this evening so I am going to go now. Otherwise I will get sitebanned. I am filled with a vicious hatred.

Nerin

i'm going to presume you have been in pubs and restaurants at home more often than abroad

assume what you want.

but that the kids should have some freakin manners!!
kids in other countries are well behaved in the same situations,why cant ours.

is what i said,i dont know why your getting angry over this.
but i think (this is MY own opinion) if people brought up their kids properly we wouldnt have people complaining as much about children in pubs, and maybe we wouldnt have little toe-rags on streetcorners around the country thinking its the bronx yo.
peace out

doonothing

Lands Leaving wrote: »

I'll rant if I want! I'm basing it on seeing the same kind of crap parenting - how hard is it to just say to the child in a stern voice not to do something. If you've got boundaries set up they'll respond to you, simple as that. chaos out = chaos at home, no they probably weren't brought out like that but some parents are well able to stop their kids going mental in public.

that is so naive! there are kids who will naturally accept boundaries and respond to them better, and kids who just will not! ill give you one guess which type of kid the stern voice works on.
and... i didnt say you couldnt rant, i just said that you did. sorry?

nerin wrote: »

assume what you want.
is what i said,i dont know why your getting angry over this.
but i think (this is MY own opinion) if people brought up their kids properly we wouldnt have people complaining as much about children in pubs, and maybe we wouldnt have little toe-rags on streetcorners around the country thinking its the bronx yo.
peace out

i'm not even getting angry, i just think it's ridiculous to say that children are better behaved in other countries, hell, in my experience i've seen more misbehaving children in ireland too, but i am well aware that that is because i have spent more time here!
do you honestly think no one in any other country complains about kids misbehaving? we have people complaining about it here, because there are children in out country, ones who behave and ones who misbehave, i'm pretty sure every other country has that too, and they complain about it as well.

Nerin

im pretty sure itd be a safe bet to say ireland england and the us have the worst kids.

Lands Leaving

doonothing wrote: »

that is so naive! there are kids who will naturally accept boundaries and respond to them better, and kids who just will not! ill give you one guess which type of kid the stern voice works on.
and... i didnt say you couldnt rant, i just said that you did. sorry?


I will accept your point that some kids respond better, but I still think boundaries can be established.

And sorry, I was in full rant mode when I continued ranting and so missed the subtleties of your ranting comment. I shall rant more carefully in the future.

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

im pretty sure itd be a safe bet to say ireland england and the us have the worst kids.

and you question my ability to make assumptions!? there are bad kids EVERYWHERE.

Lands Leaving wrote: »

I will accept your point that some kids respond better, but I still think boundaries can be established.

And sorry, I was in full rant mode when I continued ranting and so missed the subtleties of your ranting comment. I shall rant more carefully in the future.

boundaries can be established, but they are ,in general, depending on the mood of the child. they can easily be so upset or moody, like an adult, that they will not respond to the usual "stern voice".

i was also in full rant mode. sorry...

Nerin

as if there arent bad kids everywhere come on.
i meant that im pretty sure if a graph was created it would show that we have the worst behaved children,,,well,,except those countries with child soldiers, try setting them boundaries lol
remember,venn diagrams can prove anything!

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

as if there arent bad kids everywhere come on.
i meant that im pretty sure if a graph was created it would show that we have the worst behaved children,,,well,,except those countries with child soldiers, try setting them boundaries lol
remember,venn diagrams can prove anything!

what does that all even mean!
you even say you're "pretty sure"!
that's far too sweeping an assumption to make based on "pretty sure"!
look, without one of us finding some sort of child behaviour study by nationality, this debate is completely pointless.

i'm sure if you lived in any country for a while, you'd decide that kids misbehave because it is their nature to act out when they are upset, and not because their parents are from a certain country.

Nerin

are you confusing this thread for a racist one?just to underline it, i think irish kids are bloody awful.
what i meant earlier was that people in other countries seem to have better control of their sprogs.

that's far too sweeping an assumption to make based on "pretty sure"!

im not going to even start a back in forth with you on assumptions.

look, without one of us finding some sort of child behaviour study by nationality, this debate is completely pointless.

im too busy to bother,nor do i care enough, but if you or anyone else got links to a few id like to see them (as long as theyre short and sweet)

it is their nature to act out when they are upset

then take them out of the pub,or get a babysitter,or if they are just acting the %&£@ grab em by the arm n yank them outside n tell em to cop the hell on.
and if you are someone who sees discipling children physically as child abuse, i mean i sharp short smack when they act up, not a drunken redneck beatdown everytime they so much as breath.

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

are you confusing this thread for a racist one?just to underline it, i think irish kids are bloody awful.
what i meant earlier was that people in other countries seem to have better control of their sprogs.

im not going to even start a back in forth with you on assumptions.


im too busy to bother,nor do i care enough, but if you or anyone else got links to a few id like to see them (as long as theyre short and sweet)

then take them out of the pub,or get a babysitter,or if they are just acting the %&£@ grab em by the arm n yank them outside n tell em to cop the hell on.
and if you are someone who sees discipling children physically as child abuse, i mean i sharp short smack when they act up, not a drunken redneck beatdown everytime they so much as breath.

again i ask, what do you think other countries on the whole are doing differently? you are acting as though parenting is different depending on where you are, the methods of control (or lack of) are the same in every country!

if you are referring to the one assumption i made about you having spent more time in ireland than other countries, then i apologise if it was inaccurate. your assumptions, however, border on ridiculous.

i certainly am not arsed finding these studies if they exist, but please do make such comments based on pure speculation, and then rebuke me for an assumption which is rational and more than likely accurate. unlike yours which seem to have basis in an in depth study, and not just a few holidays here and there (yes an assumption, but not a ridiculous one by any means.)

again, i say, try to tell an upset child, no matter how stern your tone or forceful you are, to cop the hell on. how do you expect such rationality from an upset child! no matter how respectful they normally are, that is completely insane!

i'm going to bed.

Nerin

dont bring an "upset child" to the pub?

Lazarus2.0

gurramok wrote: »

Back in the day, kids were not allowed into pubs/restaurants.

Of course its the in thing now for families to goto these places and these places ge more custom, its bound to have its downsides, how times have changed.

Back in the day women werent allowed in pubs . Progress is a bummer for the anti-social folk

killwill

nerin wrote: »

dont bring an "upset child" to the pub?

That is a ridiculous comment.

Bringing children to pubs/restaurants is a way of teaching them to socialise and after awhile will act in a better manner in these circumstances. Generally speaking children are not going to sit quiet for a whole meal as they have short attention spans and get bored easily.

Easy knowing the people giving out about these children have none of their own.

And to say to "yank them by the arm outside" That is physical abuse, can hurt them and does nothing for the child except make them fear you.

Nerin

what is your answer to the problem then?
bend over backwards for them so they turn into little ghetto rats?

Back in the day, kids were not allowed in the bar area, we just sat in the garden - or in the car when it rained:(

doonothing

nerin wrote: »

dont bring an "upset child" to the pub?

i already talked about this! kids can become upset or unreasonable at anytime for any reason! it does often happen you know.

nerin wrote: »

what is your answer to the problem then?
bend over backwards for them so they turn into little ghetto rats?

he scare tactics bordering on abuse were not the solution, and you took from that that the parents should bend over backwards and the kids will turn into ghetto rats? what?!
discipline and boundaries are a basis for dealing with misbehaving children, but as with certainb protocol for dealing with, say, a drunk adult, these actions may not always apply or help! you have to take each situation individually and realise that ignoring the crying child looking for attention may be just as important for giving them boundaries as scolding them for every wrong move!

you think of children as programmable robots for some reason, they are people with moods and personalities just like the rest of us!