BGRH Limerick Thread

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 07:22PM #1

There once was a lass named Foxtrot,

Who was quite partial to beer, whiskey and the odd shot,

She would drink too much,

Causing her to speak double-dutch,

And there is now fear that she has serious liver rot.

~ Limericks only, about ones self, no chat.
Let the creativity begin ~

p.s. Rhyme must include at least one of the following words:
brother(s), wimmen(s), beer, gut, receding hair, rasher sambos

Prize for anyone who can include them all!*

'Disclaimer: Prize may not be included':p

Will · 22-04-2008 08:31PM

There once was a lad named Will,

Who has a thing for piercing's and swill,

He has a beer gut,

Can look quite clean-cut,

Likes to eat rasher sambos and chill.

AckwelFoley · 22-04-2008 08:34PM

There once was a man named snyper

had a dick the size of a viper

And once you got bit, on the jaw or the tit.

T'would make snyper sleep.. not hyper.

trout · 22-04-2008 08:36PM

a baldy young brother called trout
loved his rashers, the wimmins and stout
and when this big gutty chubby, steps into the pubby
there's no way yore getting him out :cool:

thangyewverymuch

p.s. Rhyme must include at least one of the following words:
brother(s), wimmen(s), beer, gut, receding hair, rasher sambos

Prize for anyone who can include them all!*

I can haz prise ?

Zaph · 22-04-2008 08:47PM

Thought Zaph "some poems shall I write"
Some will be good, some sh1te
But while writing this ditty
A thought it did hit he
That finding a rhyme for the last line just reeks of effort

ChewChew · 22-04-2008 08:53PM

this chick goes by the name chew chew

she'll even share her rasher sambo's with you.

she's fond of the beer and a chocolate button

she'd even kill a sheep just for his mutton.

but the wimmins are great and make a nice steak

for all the lovely brothers to come in and take.

:D:D

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 09:30PM

trout wrote: »

Prize for anyone who can include them all!*

I can haz prise ?

LOL, no! you left out receding hair, doh!

snyper wrote: »

There once was a man named snyper

had a dick the size of a viper

And once you got bit, on the jaw or the tit.

T'would make snyper sleep.. not hyper.

I was really expecting you to rhyme yours with diaper! Viper?? pfft

:rolleyes:

ChewChew wrote: »

this chick goes by the name chew chew

she'll even share her rasher sambo's with you.

she's fond of the beer and a chocolate button

she'd even kill a sheep just for his mutton.

but the wimmins are great and make a nice steak

for all the lovely brothers to come in and take.

:D:D

Chew Chew, excellent rhyme but a limerick tis not. You fail!

:p:p

trout · 22-04-2008 09:34PM

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

LOL, no! you left out receding hair, doh!

Point of order ... you will see with regards to my opus, on the first line, the second word is "baldy".

It has long been a convention among limerick-smiths that baldy is functionally and sprititually equivalent to "receding hair", as well as more aesthetically pleasing and factually correct.

I demand a prize

:p

AckwelFoley · 22-04-2008 09:35PM

There once was a girl called trot,

Who was b'auld and cheeky a snot.

She got cheeky with snyper, who layed down beside her.

He then woke up with galloping knob rott.

AckwelFoley · 22-04-2008 09:37PM

trout wrote: »

I demand a prize :p

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 09:43PM

trout wrote: »

Point of order ... you will see with regards to my opus, on the first line, the second word is "baldy".

It has long been a convention among limerick-smiths that baldy is functionally and sprititually equivalent to "receding hair", as well as more aesthetically pleasing and factually correct.

I demand a prize :p

that's bending the rules right there!:D

I didn't really think the prize thing through!:eek:

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 09:49PM

snyper wrote: »

There once was a girl called trot,

Who was b'auld and cheeky a snot.

She got cheeky with snyper, who layed down beside her.

He then woke up with galloping knob rott.

ROFL!:D

There once was a knob named Snyper,

who turned out to be a proper ass-wiper,

His posts are sh1te,

Ending him up in a fight,

which makes him panic and sh1t his diaper!

AckwelFoley · 22-04-2008 09:53PM

Im making a new one now.

What rhymes with bitch?

:P

Only joking

trout · 22-04-2008 09:55PM

snyper wrote: »

*pride*

I'd like to thank my mom and my dad, and dear little lord baby jeebus without whom none of us would be here today, and of course I couldn't have done this without some very special people backstage .... :rolleyes:

trout · 22-04-2008 09:56PM

snyper wrote: »

Im making a new one now.

What rhymes with bitch? :P

stitch
titch
witch
which
hitch
.
.
.
niche ... OK ...that's stretching it :cool:

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 09:56PM

snyper wrote: »

Im making a new one now.

What rhymes with bitch? :P

Only joking

hitch - ditch - snitch - witch - itch

Zaph · 22-04-2008 09:59PM

Mitch

trout · 22-04-2008 10:01PM

Where's my prize ?

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 10:02PM

Zaph wrote: »

Mitch

Is it just the way I'm looking at this pic or is he a tad 'excited'?

Jebus, I need to get out more! :eek:

DetectivFoxtrot · 22-04-2008 10:04PM

trout wrote: »

Where's my prize ?

What do you want??!!*

*within reason!:D

trout · 22-04-2008 10:04PM

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

Is it just the way I'm looking at this pic or is he a tad 'excited'?

Jebus, I need to get out more! :eek:

Eewwwwwwwwwww!!1!

Where's my prize ?
I want a kebab. And beer. And a burger. And rasher sammiches.

dfx- · 22-04-2008 10:10PM

once dfx- was stood sat
the wimmins got a good pat
the beer was aflood, it felt very good
and the rasher sambos went down with extra fat.

FlutterinBantam · 22-04-2008 10:40PM

There was a young fella called Flutt
Who felt a strong push in his gut
He pulled down the jocks,and dangled the rocks
And blew the lot out with a Sputtttt

_blank_ · 22-04-2008 11:04PM

There once was a Brother called Desmond,
Who in BGRH found some of the best friends,
Drinking ale, beer and stout,
And without any doubt,
He loves the sammiches that the wimmins they do send.

_blank_ · 22-04-2008 11:06PM

One night DesF out on the beer,
Decided to have a little old leer,
Irishburd in his sight,
What a wonderful night,
And now all he can say is "Yes dear" :rolleyes:

Zaph · 22-04-2008 11:08PM

DesF wrote: »

One night DesF out on the beer,
Decided to have a little old leer,
Irishburd in his sight,
What a wonderful night,
And now all he can say is "Yes dear"

She made you write that, didn't she?

_blank_ · 22-04-2008 11:10PM

Zaph wrote: »

She made you write that, didn't she?

Nah, I'm in my own place tonight

Agent Smith · 22-04-2008 11:12PM

There once was a Man named tom
Who ran a pub which was bomb
the drinks were all free,
and the wimmins would see
The pitcher would rarely be empty!

(i'm ****ing proud of that!)

FlutterinBantam · 23-04-2008 07:02AM

There was a young fella called Flutther

Who was fond of big steaks done in butter

When he scoffed back the lot,he would sit on the pot

And blanket the bowel in hot scutther.

:cool:

star-pants · 23-04-2008 08:00AM

A brother who's hair was receding
found rashers & wimmins appealing,
He liked to talk smut
when filling his gut,
With beer whilst posting & reading.

_blank_ · 23-04-2008 08:02AM

excellent s-p.

Here, have a gold star

BGRH Limerick Thread

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