BGRH Limerick Thread

DetectivFoxtrot

There once was a lass named Foxtrot,

Who was quite partial to beer, whiskey and the odd shot,

She would drink too much,

Causing her to speak double-dutch,

And there is now fear that she has serious liver rot.



~ Limericks only, about ones self, no chat.
Let the creativity begin ~

p.s. Rhyme must include at least one of the following words:
brother(s), wimmen(s), beer, gut, receding hair, rasher sambos

Prize for anyone who can include them all!*



'Disclaimer: Prize may not be included':p

Will

There once was a lad named Will,

Who has a thing for piercing's and swill,

He has a beer gut,

Can look quite clean-cut,

Likes to eat rasher sambos and chill.

AckwelFoley

There once was a man named snyper

had a dick the size of a viper

And once you got bit, on the jaw or the tit.

T'would make snyper sleep.. not hyper.

trout

a baldy young brother called trout
loved his rashers, the wimmins and stout
and when this big gutty chubby, steps into the pubby
there's no way yore getting him out :cool:


thangyewverymuch

p.s. Rhyme must include at least one of the following words:
brother(s), wimmen(s), beer, gut, receding hair, rasher sambos

Prize for anyone who can include them all!*

I can haz prise ?

Zaph

Thought Zaph "some poems shall I write"
Some will be good, some sh1te
But while writing this ditty
A thought it did hit he
That finding a rhyme for the last line just reeks of effort

ChewChew

this chick goes by the name chew chew

she'll even share her rasher sambo's with you.

she's fond of the beer and a chocolate button

she'd even kill a sheep just for his mutton.

but the wimmins are great and make a nice steak

for all the lovely brothers to come in and take.


:D:D

DetectivFoxtrot

trout wrote: »

Prize for anyone who can include them all!*

I can haz prise ?

LOL, no! you left out receding hair, doh!

snyper wrote: »

There once was a man named snyper

had a dick the size of a viper

And once you got bit, on the jaw or the tit.

T'would make snyper sleep.. not hyper.

I was really expecting you to rhyme yours with diaper! Viper?? pfft :rolleyes:

ChewChew wrote: »

this chick goes by the name chew chew

she'll even share her rasher sambo's with you.

she's fond of the beer and a chocolate button

she'd even kill a sheep just for his mutton.

but the wimmins are great and make a nice steak

for all the lovely brothers to come in and take.


:D:D

Chew Chew, excellent rhyme but a limerick tis not. You fail! :p:p

trout

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

LOL, no! you left out receding hair, doh!

Point of order ... you will see with regards to my opus, on the first line, the second word is "baldy".

It has long been a convention among limerick-smiths that baldy is functionally and sprititually equivalent to "receding hair", as well as more aesthetically pleasing and factually correct.

I demand a prize :p

AckwelFoley

There once was a girl called trot,

Who was b'auld and cheeky a snot.

She got cheeky with snyper, who layed down beside her.

He then woke up with galloping knob rott.

AckwelFoley

trout wrote: »

I demand a prize :p

DetectivFoxtrot

trout wrote: »

Point of order ... you will see with regards to my opus, on the first line, the second word is "baldy".

It has long been a convention among limerick-smiths that baldy is functionally and sprititually equivalent to "receding hair", as well as more aesthetically pleasing and factually correct.

I demand a prize :p

that's bending the rules right there!:D

I didn't really think the prize thing through!:eek:

DetectivFoxtrot

snyper wrote: »

There once was a girl called trot,

Who was b'auld and cheeky a snot.

She got cheeky with snyper, who layed down beside her.

He then woke up with galloping knob rott.

ROFL!:D

There once was a knob named Snyper,

who turned out to be a proper ass-wiper,

His posts are sh1te,

Ending him up in a fight,

which makes him panic and sh1t his diaper!

AckwelFoley

Im making a new one now.

What rhymes with bitch? :P

Only joking

trout

snyper wrote: »

*pride*

I'd like to thank my mom and my dad, and dear little lord baby jeebus without whom none of us would be here today, and of course I couldn't have done this without some very special people backstage .... :rolleyes:

trout

snyper wrote: »

Im making a new one now.

What rhymes with bitch? :P

stitch
titch
witch
which
hitch
.
.
.
niche ... OK ...that's stretching it :cool:

DetectivFoxtrot

snyper wrote: »

Im making a new one now.

What rhymes with bitch? :P

Only joking

hitch - ditch - snitch - witch - itch

Zaph

Mitch

trout

Where's my prize ?

DetectivFoxtrot

Zaph wrote: »

Mitch

Is it just the way I'm looking at this pic or is he a tad 'excited'?

Jebus, I need to get out more! :eek:

DetectivFoxtrot

trout wrote: »

Where's my prize ?

What do you want??!!*


*within reason!:D

trout

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

Is it just the way I'm looking at this pic or is he a tad 'excited'?

Jebus, I need to get out more! :eek:

Eewwwwwwwwwww!!1!

Where's my prize ?
I want a kebab. And beer. And a burger. And rasher sammiches.

dfx-

once dfx- was stood sat
the wimmins got a good pat
the beer was aflood, it felt very good
and the rasher sambos went down with extra fat.

FlutterinBantam

There was a young fella called Flutt
Who felt a strong push in his gut
He pulled down the jocks,and dangled the rocks
And blew the lot out with a Sputtttt

_blank_

There once was a Brother called Desmond,
Who in BGRH found some of the best friends,
Drinking ale, beer and stout,
And without any doubt,
He loves the sammiches that the wimmins they do send.

_blank_

One night DesF out on the beer,
Decided to have a little old leer,
Irishburd in his sight,
What a wonderful night,
And now all he can say is "Yes dear" :rolleyes:

Zaph

DesF wrote: »

One night DesF out on the beer,
Decided to have a little old leer,
Irishburd in his sight,
What a wonderful night,
And now all he can say is "Yes dear"

She made you write that, didn't she?

_blank_

Zaph wrote: »

She made you write that, didn't she?

Nah, I'm in my own place tonight

Agent Smith

There once was a Man named tom
Who ran a pub which was bomb
the drinks were all free,
and the wimmins would see
The pitcher would rarely be empty!




(i'm ****ing proud of that!)

FlutterinBantam

There was a young fella called Flutther

Who was fond of big steaks done in butter

When he scoffed back the lot,he would sit on the pot

And blanket the bowel in hot scutther.


:cool:

star-pants

A brother who's hair was receding
found rashers & wimmins appealing,
He liked to talk smut
when filling his gut,
With beer whilst posting & reading.

_blank_

excellent s-p.

Here, have a gold star

Don1

Here is Don1 he's a brother,
But from a genetically distinct/different mother
Just give him a beer, and a steak made of deer,
And a friend you will have like no other!

_blank_

Mmmmmm, venison.

smashey

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=382

Don1

Trying to adverstise yore hobbies and interests again eh???!!

_blank_

smashey wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=382

I will see your forum pointers, and raise you

This

and

This


:D

justsomebloke

There once was a brother called JSB
who tried to eat everything he could see,
Then once by mistake,
he had salad with his steak,
some evil was employed,
and he was christened Salad boy

John Mason

Zaph wrote: »

She made you write that, didn't she?

LOL, just seen it now (well i got told have a look at it :rolleyes:)

smashey

DesF wrote: »

I will see your forum pointers, and raise you

This

and

This


:D

I'll see you and raise you back.

_blank_

smashey wrote: »

I'll see you and raise you back.

:eek:

Good play, but I have this up my sleeve.

With this.


Boo-ya

And this is the clincher.

Forum Poker; it's quite a game,
Just look for a similar name.
If you find another I'll say
"Sir, that was well played"
Are there any left, or are we starting to wane?.

smashey

Starting to wane?

Not.

And, try this and if you're having trouble then try this.:D

Cathmandooo

There was a wimmin named Cathooo,
Served in the bar when she could do,
Rasher sambos galore,
With twister on the floor,
Vodka and coke? Yes she’ll have two!

Slow Motion

There was an old man named Slow Motion
He went for a sail on the ocean
He washed up in Yore Mas
To see Katrina and tanya in their bras
and stayed to supply the baby lotion:D

The Hill Billy

Hill Billy’s a man with a belly
And a scalp that’s smooth as a jelly
He loves to eat bacon
Plenty of stout has he taken
A metro? Not on your nelly!

pickarooney

Pickarooney loves wrapping his gnashers
'Round a serious helping of rashers
As for birds, booze and telly,
His bald spot and belly
Where would you be widou' da' shur?

Don1

Corset limerick as requested in the bar:

The announcment of the next beers being themed
was not a great idea it seemed
but when cosests were planned
(cleavage always being in demand)
oh how the brothers smiles they then beamed!

There's a few wimmins here, I am told,
Who like men who are baldy & bold,
& enjoy a nice rasher,
and like goin' on the lash, or,
enjoy beer except bud & dutch gold.


A portly young man known as shifty,
downs the pints & kebabs fairly nifty,
doesn't eat leaves 'n twigs,
likes a plate of dead pigs,
and has the hair of a man turning fifty.


Brother trout's posts are always sublime,
but he committed a hideous crime,
he never mentioned the bacon,
in that post he was makin',
now the prize must surely be mine?

justsomebloke

On the 20th of july it'll be,
for wimmins in corsets we'll see
and with the promise of booze
theres no fear of a snooze
Cause happy and content I'll will be

Ginny

It the 20th of June

Don1

I'll be gone from the 8th.

I want, nay, need to see the corset beers.

The Hill Billy

Deleted User wrote: »

There's a few wimmins here, I am told,
Who like men who are baldy & bold,
& enjoy a nice rasher,
and like goin' on the lash, or,
enjoy beer except bud & dutch gold.


A portly young man known as shifty,
downs the pints & kebabs fairly nifty,
doesn't eat leaves 'n twigs,
likes a plate of dead pigs,
and has the hair of a man turning fifty.


Brother trout's posts are always sublime,
but he committed a hideous crime,
he never mentioned the bacon,
in that post he was makin',
now the prize must surely be mine?

Quality!