Does he climax everytime?

santiago123 · 21-03-2008 10:13PM #1

Ladies when you have sex does he climax every time?

Buzz Buzz · 21-03-2008 10:45PM

This is probably more suited to the ladies lounge.. but as a bloke, I dont everytime!

[Jackass] · 22-03-2008 12:22AM

I do pretty much every time I have sex, but I think more than 15 minutes of penetrative sex just gets boring and if I haven't come by then I'm probably not going to. Also if he has been drinking it can make it considerably more difficult to come...

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 12:33AM

You posted in the ladies lounge saying he only comes maybe once every five times you have sex.

This is not normal.

If it is bothering him, he should consider therapy. If it isn't bothering him, well then it's no big deal.

I'm guessing it bothers you, hence your post here.

Question: have you had children?

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 01:35AM

No but with him only ejaculating 1 in 5 times I don't fancy our changes.

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 01:38AM

OK. The reason I asked was this:

Most vaginas feel pretty much the same, except for women who've had children. An ex of mine had a child, and on a few occasions I really really had to concentrate to make myself orgasm, simply because she was too "loose" and I couldn't really feel much...

As you haven't had a child, it's unlikely you have a particularly loose vagina (!!) so he should be able to come as normal.

The problem is him, not you.

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 01:50AM

He tells me he is satisfied when he doesn't ejaculate in me but I just wish he would so I know that he is being satisfied also in bed. I have never been able to make him climax with either with oral or hand. I guess this is not normal either.....

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 01:51AM

Was he like this with previous girlfriends?

Can he orgasm easily via masturbation?

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 02:03AM

We are in a long term relationship and I only noticed this happening in the last year or so. Not sure if he masterbates or not but he likes it when I handle him so I suspect he does but not sure if he orgasms when doing it himself. Not sure how to bring up the topic with him...

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 02:07AM

I reckon if you're in a long term relationship you should be able to talk about this stuff.

Next time it happens you could simply ask him questions along the lines of...

Why do you think this has started happening?
Does it bother you?
Do you still masturbate?

If he gets angry, then you know it is bothering him.

I'm going to make three crazy predictions on what the problem might be:

1. He is terrified of getting you pregnant
2. He cheated and is terrified of giving you a disease
3. He is feeling guilty about something

As a male, I do not believe he will be able to continue like this indefinitely.

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 02:24AM

I don't suspect anything like that to be honest but thanks for the suggestions. I did mention it to him and he just said its normal but I don't think it is. He says he does not mind not ejaculating. I have been with guys previously and had never had a problem getting to to orgasm using various mentions. I really just looking to see that its not normal to not ejaculate so much and its not me for like I said I perform all the strokes on him.

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 02:28AM

It's definitely not normal. I also don't believe he isn't bothered by it.

I'm not sure what the solution is really. It's up to him whether he changes or not.

PeakOutput · 22-03-2008 02:34AM

there have been times when i havnt cum but in general i would cum every time that is not to say im satisfied every time so i suppose it could go the other way in that he isnt cumming but is still satisfied but it is unusual

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 02:36AM

Guess will just have to sit down with him to try and work it out...pardon pun...
Thanks for listening.

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 02:50AM

What would you say is the easiest way to get a guy to cum so I can practice that on him?

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 02:52AM

Do something which turns him on, e.g. have sex in a park.

Maybe watch porn together?

santiago123 · 22-03-2008 03:02AM

We used to watch pron and would give each other oral/hand relief and stuff but I was hoping we had moved past that stage. Will see if I can dig them out again - they were vhs however so not sure it they lasted over time. Don't think the park idea would be a runner.

ted1 · 22-03-2008 05:16AM

ps. he masturbates

RedXIV · 22-03-2008 12:45PM

if a guy masterbates ALOT it will make it harder for them to ejaculate by anything other than masterbation. it is NOT normal to only ejaculate 1 in 5 times. The only thing i could suggest is more foreplay before sex?

Marksie · 22-03-2008 12:58PM

Hang on a minute here OP.

What IS your issue?. That he doesnt ejaculate or that you are feeling that you are failing because he doesn't?

I am sensing a real idea that somehow things arent good because he doesn't ejaculate.

Then its a communication issue with you.
He has already said he is happy enough..why do you not believe him?

TBH i practice ejaculation control when i want to i will ejaculate and when i dont i wont.

That doesnt mean i dont orgasm.

OK its from a differnt context.
But if he is happy with your sex life and it is still intimate and bonding..what is the issue?

If you are really concerened, then dont worry about the end point i.e ejaculation, but try exploring ways you can make your guy multiorgasmic.

In the end it is much more intense, or whatever adjective you want to put on it than a quick ejaculatory orgasm.

rememebr also that you are not responsinble for his orgasm..he is.
I ahve said this when guys fret the oethre way around but it cuts bot ways.

So talk if he is happy, explore ways of pleasuring not the end point.

Gyalist · 22-03-2008 02:21PM

dublindude wrote: »

OK. The reason I asked was this:

Most vaginas feel pretty much the same, except for women who've had children. An ex of mine had a child, and on a few occasions I really really had to concentrate to make myself orgasm, simply because she was too "loose" and I couldn't really feel much...

As you haven't had a child, it's unlikely you have a particularly loose vagina (!!) so he should be able to come as normal.

Huh? I sincerely hope that you don't believe that. Your experience was with one particular woman and certainly not true for most women who have given birth.

AARRRGH · 22-03-2008 02:32PM

Gyalist wrote: »

Huh? I sincerely hope that you don't believe that. Your experience was with one particular woman and certainly not true for most women who have given birth.

All my friends have had this problem too. It's definitely a real issue!

Note I am talking about women who have had a vaginal birth, not a c section (which a lot of women have these days.)

Marksie · 22-03-2008 03:27PM

Dublindude and gyalsit: take your conversation to PM. Dont drag this off topic

Balmed Out · 22-03-2008 03:49PM

As a guy i think not cumming is strange. If i have already itll take longer and longer but i always would in the end. Oh and the comment about all vaginas being the same id completely disagree with, some are very tight while on the other end of the spectrum the miracle of childbirth doesnt seem to be quite such a miracle.

Liam Byrne · 22-03-2008 04:10PM

This one kinda depends....I'm a guy and I was with someone once who freaked out coz I didn't, and it seemed like she took this to mean that she'd somehow "failed" :P

Part of the fun - even as a guy - is hanging in there to prolong the fun and maybe get the girl to (which, apparently, IS less common).....if he reckons you have more experience or whatever, he might want to please you and not come too early.

But once that pressure is on (i.e. "if you don't I'll get worried or freak out") it takes the fun out of it and can be counter-productive, meaning that it doesn't happen.

So talk about it less first, and see if he'll relax. If things don't improve, THEN maybe start asking questions, but try relaxing first....

santiago123 · 23-03-2008 01:32AM

I would just feel better if he came more often. I can't even seem to get him to climax inside or outside my vagina so I don't think he is afraid of having children or any like that.
Especially when I am on top i would like the feeling that I gave him so much pleasure that he came in me but now I'm not sure when he has enough.

[Jackass] · 23-03-2008 02:44AM

I think you're stressing over this too much.

Honestly, it's not you. It doesn't take much for a man to come if we're being honest, and as crude as it sounds, a vagina and a bit of forwards and backwards motion will do the trick, or a fairly swift hand (and oral) will make a guy come. And it's not an attraction issue either, I mean if its hard then he's attracted, and the above will make him come.

It's farily simple with guys and I'd wager that the above is the case for about 95% of guys. Maybe he's just in the 5%? It doesn't mean you're not doing things right or that you're not good at it, maybe he just doesn't tend to come that easily. Honestly I haven't really heard of it before, but it reminds me of the guy in the movie Intermission. Only difference is it doesn't sound like it bothers him that much.

Stop being hard on yourself, talk to him about it. but maybe it's just one of those things? Not a bad thing or a bad reflection on you, but just the way he is.

Do you mind if I ask, does he wear a condom during sex? This can make it a lot more difficult to come, and if he's wearing those "durex proforma" condoms then he could be in a feckin porn movie and he wouldn't come, they're lethal!!!

Tar.Aldarion · 23-03-2008 03:05AM

Every time unless it is the third or fourth in a row. I don't think it is regular, doesn't mean much is wrong I think. Do you use performa condoms?

santiago123 · 04-04-2008 11:49PM

We talked and he said that he orgasms when he masterbates but he said he is thinking of me when he is materbating.
Wish he would just lodge the sperm in me to show that he still finds me attractive and that I turn him on.

Miss Fluff · 05-04-2008 12:28AM

santiago123 wrote: »

We used to watch pron and would give each other oral/hand relief and stuff but I was hoping we had moved past that stage.

I find this comment REALLY bizarre tbh OP, what do you mean "moved past that stage"? In what sense? Does foreplay or any other nuaghtiness not feature anymore?

dar_cool · 05-04-2008 01:35AM

dublindude wrote: »

All my friends have had this problem too. It's definitely a real issue!

Note I am talking about women who have had a vaginal birth, not a c section (which a lot of women have these days.)

Yep I agree with you 100%, it is way more "loose" than a girl who hasnt had vaginal birth!!

Does he climax everytime?

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