Does he climax everytime?

santiago123

Ladies when you have sex does he climax every time?

Buzz Buzz

This is probably more suited to the ladies lounge.. but as a bloke, I dont everytime!

[Jackass]

I do pretty much every time I have sex, but I think more than 15 minutes of penetrative sex just gets boring and if I haven't come by then I'm probably not going to. Also if he has been drinking it can make it considerably more difficult to come...

AARRRGH

You posted in the ladies lounge saying he only comes maybe once every five times you have sex.

This is not normal.

If it is bothering him, he should consider therapy. If it isn't bothering him, well then it's no big deal.

I'm guessing it bothers you, hence your post here.

Question: have you had children?

santiago123

No but with him only ejaculating 1 in 5 times I don't fancy our changes.

AARRRGH

OK. The reason I asked was this:

Most vaginas feel pretty much the same, except for women who've had children. An ex of mine had a child, and on a few occasions I really really had to concentrate to make myself orgasm, simply because she was too "loose" and I couldn't really feel much...

As you haven't had a child, it's unlikely you have a particularly loose vagina (!!) so he should be able to come as normal.

The problem is him, not you.

santiago123

He tells me he is satisfied when he doesn't ejaculate in me but I just wish he would so I know that he is being satisfied also in bed. I have never been able to make him climax with either with oral or hand. I guess this is not normal either.....

AARRRGH

Was he like this with previous girlfriends?

Can he orgasm easily via masturbation?

santiago123

We are in a long term relationship and I only noticed this happening in the last year or so. Not sure if he masterbates or not but he likes it when I handle him so I suspect he does but not sure if he orgasms when doing it himself. Not sure how to bring up the topic with him...

AARRRGH

I reckon if you're in a long term relationship you should be able to talk about this stuff.

Next time it happens you could simply ask him questions along the lines of...

Why do you think this has started happening?
Does it bother you?
Do you still masturbate?

If he gets angry, then you know it is bothering him.

I'm going to make three crazy predictions on what the problem might be:

1. He is terrified of getting you pregnant
2. He cheated and is terrified of giving you a disease
3. He is feeling guilty about something

As a male, I do not believe he will be able to continue like this indefinitely.

santiago123

I don't suspect anything like that to be honest but thanks for the suggestions. I did mention it to him and he just said its normal but I don't think it is. He says he does not mind not ejaculating. I have been with guys previously and had never had a problem getting to to orgasm using various mentions. I really just looking to see that its not normal to not ejaculate so much and its not me for like I said I perform all the strokes on him.

AARRRGH

It's definitely not normal. I also don't believe he isn't bothered by it.

I'm not sure what the solution is really. It's up to him whether he changes or not.

PeakOutput

there have been times when i havnt cum but in general i would cum every time that is not to say im satisfied every time so i suppose it could go the other way in that he isnt cumming but is still satisfied but it is unusual

santiago123

Guess will just have to sit down with him to try and work it out...pardon pun...
Thanks for listening.

santiago123

What would you say is the easiest way to get a guy to cum so I can practice that on him?

AARRRGH

Do something which turns him on, e.g. have sex in a park.

Maybe watch porn together?

santiago123

We used to watch pron and would give each other oral/hand relief and stuff but I was hoping we had moved past that stage. Will see if I can dig them out again - they were vhs however so not sure it they lasted over time. Don't think the park idea would be a runner.

ted1

ps. he masturbates

RedXIV

if a guy masterbates ALOT it will make it harder for them to ejaculate by anything other than masterbation. it is NOT normal to only ejaculate 1 in 5 times. The only thing i could suggest is more foreplay before sex?

Marksie

Hang on a minute here OP.

What IS your issue?. That he doesnt ejaculate or that you are feeling that you are failing because he doesn't?

I am sensing a real idea that somehow things arent good because he doesn't ejaculate.

Then its a communication issue with you.
He has already said he is happy enough..why do you not believe him?

TBH i practice ejaculation control when i want to i will ejaculate and when i dont i wont.

That doesnt mean i dont orgasm.

OK its from a differnt context.
But if he is happy with your sex life and it is still intimate and bonding..what is the issue?

If you are really concerened, then dont worry about the end point i.e ejaculation, but try exploring ways you can make your guy multiorgasmic.

In the end it is much more intense, or whatever adjective you want to put on it than a quick ejaculatory orgasm.

rememebr also that you are not responsinble for his orgasm..he is.
I ahve said this when guys fret the oethre way around but it cuts bot ways.

So talk if he is happy, explore ways of pleasuring not the end point.

Gyalist

dublindude wrote: »

OK. The reason I asked was this:

Most vaginas feel pretty much the same, except for women who've had children. An ex of mine had a child, and on a few occasions I really really had to concentrate to make myself orgasm, simply because she was too "loose" and I couldn't really feel much...

As you haven't had a child, it's unlikely you have a particularly loose vagina (!!) so he should be able to come as normal.

Huh? I sincerely hope that you don't believe that. Your experience was with one particular woman and certainly not true for most women who have given birth.

AARRRGH

Gyalist wrote: »

Huh? I sincerely hope that you don't believe that. Your experience was with one particular woman and certainly not true for most women who have given birth.

All my friends have had this problem too. It's definitely a real issue!

Note I am talking about women who have had a vaginal birth, not a c section (which a lot of women have these days.)

Marksie

Dublindude and gyalsit: take your conversation to PM. Dont drag this off topic

Balmed Out

As a guy i think not cumming is strange. If i have already itll take longer and longer but i always would in the end. Oh and the comment about all vaginas being the same id completely disagree with, some are very tight while on the other end of the spectrum the miracle of childbirth doesnt seem to be quite such a miracle.

Liam Byrne

This one kinda depends....I'm a guy and I was with someone once who freaked out coz I didn't, and it seemed like she took this to mean that she'd somehow "failed" :P

Part of the fun - even as a guy - is hanging in there to prolong the fun and maybe get the girl to (which, apparently, IS less common).....if he reckons you have more experience or whatever, he might want to please you and not come too early.

But once that pressure is on (i.e. "if you don't I'll get worried or freak out") it takes the fun out of it and can be counter-productive, meaning that it doesn't happen.

So talk about it less first, and see if he'll relax. If things don't improve, THEN maybe start asking questions, but try relaxing first....

santiago123

I would just feel better if he came more often. I can't even seem to get him to climax inside or outside my vagina so I don't think he is afraid of having children or any like that.
Especially when I am on top i would like the feeling that I gave him so much pleasure that he came in me but now I'm not sure when he has enough.

[Jackass]

I think you're stressing over this too much.

Honestly, it's not you. It doesn't take much for a man to come if we're being honest, and as crude as it sounds, a vagina and a bit of forwards and backwards motion will do the trick, or a fairly swift hand (and oral) will make a guy come. And it's not an attraction issue either, I mean if its hard then he's attracted, and the above will make him come.

It's farily simple with guys and I'd wager that the above is the case for about 95% of guys. Maybe he's just in the 5%? It doesn't mean you're not doing things right or that you're not good at it, maybe he just doesn't tend to come that easily. Honestly I haven't really heard of it before, but it reminds me of the guy in the movie Intermission. Only difference is it doesn't sound like it bothers him that much.

Stop being hard on yourself, talk to him about it. but maybe it's just one of those things? Not a bad thing or a bad reflection on you, but just the way he is.

Do you mind if I ask, does he wear a condom during sex? This can make it a lot more difficult to come, and if he's wearing those "durex proforma" condoms then he could be in a feckin porn movie and he wouldn't come, they're lethal!!!

Tar.Aldarion

Every time unless it is the third or fourth in a row. I don't think it is regular, doesn't mean much is wrong I think. Do you use performa condoms?

santiago123

We talked and he said that he orgasms when he masterbates but he said he is thinking of me when he is materbating.
Wish he would just lodge the sperm in me to show that he still finds me attractive and that I turn him on.

Miss Fluff

santiago123 wrote: »

We used to watch pron and would give each other oral/hand relief and stuff but I was hoping we had moved past that stage.

I find this comment REALLY bizarre tbh OP, what do you mean "moved past that stage"? In what sense? Does foreplay or any other nuaghtiness not feature anymore?

dar_cool

dublindude wrote: »

All my friends have had this problem too. It's definitely a real issue!

Note I am talking about women who have had a vaginal birth, not a c section (which a lot of women have these days.)

Yep I agree with you 100%, it is way more "loose" than a girl who hasnt had vaginal birth!!

Profiler

santiago123 wrote: »

Wish he would just lodge the sperm in me to show that he still finds me attractive and that I turn him on.

Hope you never said that to him!

There are many different ways for a guy to show his other half that he is attracted to her, simply lodging something (other than his share of the household bills) is not the way!

Talk to to him, ask him to tell you what he likes, how much pressure he likes on his penis how fast he likes it to be stroked and then work his answers into foreplay and or oral sex, then tell him how you like to your vagina to be touched and kissed in foreplay or oral sex. If you don't communicate you don't stand a chance!

LegacyUser

If hes hard your turning him on, him "lodging" his sperm into you has nothing to do with finding you attractive. It strikes me as a physical sensitivity issue. The only thing that comes to mind is that he masterbates alot reducing his sensitivity

Sherifu

Could well be a case of him masturbating too much, you need to talk to him if it's bothering you.

Marksie

santiago123 wrote: »

I would just feel better if he came more often. I can't even seem to get him to climax inside or outside my vagina so I don't think he is afraid of having children or any like that.
Especially when I am on top i would like the feeling that I gave him so much pleasure that he came in me but now I'm not sure when he has enough.

I frequently dont ejaculate with apartner, when i do its because i choose to. Orgasm and ejaculation can be separated, and it is possible for a man to have as many multpile orgasms as a woman over an extended period with correct breathing an PC control.
Work on that instead? Which would you prefer..though i guess i know already, the fact he has one quick 10second ejaculation or as many orgasms as he wants over an extended period?

Think differently.

santiago123 wrote: »

We talked and he said that he orgasms when he masterbates but he said he is thinking of me when he is materbating.
Wish he would just lodge the sperm in me to show that he still finds me attractive and that I turn him on.

OK there is something there, when i masturbate i will go for ejaculation at some point. With a partner its different, we are not looking for end poiunts but the whole experience

But i have heard your last comment before and its a common one. It is also the crux of your issue with this. That you do not feel attractive unless he comes inside you, that somehow you have "failed".

That is western thinking, to be sure.
But lets look at another approach: if he came off in you within two minutes and rolled over and went to sleep would you feel more loved and desired than if you both spent hours bringing youselves to a state of ecstacy?

Again think different

Edit: One thought did occur to me though. If he ejaculates while masturbating: why dont you get hime to do it i front of you, or noth do it together but yourselves. That sreves two purposes..you will know what brings him off as he is very intimately aware of his own measn of "cumming" Iand vice versa) and two: it can be very very arousing to watch your partner bring themselves off

santiago123

Thanks for the suggestions to watch each other masterbate. I don't think I could bring myself to doing this in front of my partner - would have to have a lot of drink taken. I watched those blue movies when guys cum in front of there partner but that would not be for us. I certainly wouldn't enjoy him climaxing in my mouth as from past experience I have yet to taste easy to swallow sperm.
He lends a hand when I'm stroking him under the covers when I a priming him prior to peneration but that is as far as I think we would go as regards masterbating in front of each other.
He works nights so we only have sex during the day usually so maybe he finds it difficult to cum when it daylight as its not as natural perhaps.
Its not that he does not satisfy me in sexually as he is great for trying all positions I just wanted to know if my guys cum during peneration all the time as my guy doesn't.

Miss Fluff

santiago123 wrote: »

to swallow sperm.
He lends a hand when I'm stroking him under the covers when I a priming him prior to peneration but that is as far as I think we would go as regards masterbating in front of each other.

How long does foreplay normally last OP? What do you do with each other before penetration happens?

santiago123

Our foreplay is pretty regular stuff I suspect. He fingers me to make me moist and the usual feeling/licking breasts and stuff - gives me oral if he thinks I am still too dry for peneration. He usually penetrates me within 10 minutes or after we start foreplay.
Maybe I get too moist or something and that stops him cumming.

Miss Fluff

A few things strike me about your post OP.

How do you pleasure him though?How often do blow jobs feature? If you are worried about him coming in your mouth which you mentioned earlier you can always bring him to the point where he is about to. (also have a look at his diet, ask him to eat strawberries and kiwis)

Also, do you masturbate yourself? Doing this in front of one another can be a really exciting part of foreplay so if you are comfortable doing it then you should think about letting it feature OP!

He works nights and you work days. This suggests to me that you may not have much time for sex you can take your time over, especially if one is tired after a hard day's work and the other is rearing to go. Perhaps set aside one night a week for now where you can really concentrate on spending 3 or 4 hours in lovemaking.

Finally, if he invariably comes when he masturbates do you know how regularly he is masturbating? I mean if he is bashing the bishop five times a day he may not have the "reserves" to ejaculate during penetration.

colly10

@OP - I don't think that him not cumming is not a problem tbh, i've been in relationships where i've cum everytime and others where id hardly ever come. Whether I came or not did not reflect the quality of the sex and I don't think theres anything a girl can do to make a guy cum.
I cum when I decide I want to and I don't really think it's much better or worse whether I do or not. Drink definitely makes it more difficult but nothing makes it more difficult than a girl who's trying to get you to cum.
If you just relax, forget about him and enjoy yourself he'll probably find it much easier, i'd say there's little most lads like more than watching their gf enjoying themselves so after you come don't think straight away that you have to return the favour, don't try and when your not getting any more out of it tell him you'll have to stop soon

Edit - Agree with Miss Fluff, if he's masturbating all the time then it'll be alot more difficult

minidazzler

OP It could be that he cleans the tubes a few times a day and as such has very little semen left.

Try going at it one morning after a sexless night, that will tell you if he can ejaculate.

Remember Orgasm and Climax are the same but Ejacuation is not the same as these.

santiago123

Thanks again all for the advice again.
to answer your questions.
He doesn't usually require much foreplay to get him hard...I usually just give his penis a few pumps as it gets hard and he enjoys the foreskin pulled back for sex so I usually bring that over the head for him if not already folded back.
He is a regular masterbater - but not over kill I think. I can usually tell if he as gotten off earlier in the day - he just smells different or something.
I masterbate sometimes when he is giving me oral but he is under the duvet so I don't think that counts as masterbating in front of him as its dark.
As he works night as girl has to keep herself amuzed so yeah I would masterbate properly the odd night which I have to admit I do enjoy but I would never be able to do it in full view of my partner. its more enjoyable that my partners forplay technique but I never met a guy who could finger me like the way I finger myself and I think that is only natural but but having his penis inside me over rides all.
Colly100 suggested that I might be trying to hard to get him to cum and this is something that I had not thought off and could be true. Especially when I am on top I try all sorts of stuff to get him to cum.
I have gone off the point here as I originally just wanted to know why he cums so little in me.

Miss Fluff

Well I'm not so sure "a few pumps":eek: as you put it would constitute as foreplay now OP would you? You mention he goes down on you etc but what do you do for him? You intimate that as soon as he has an erection he then enters you?Sounds like you do nothing really to get him aroused before he penetrates you. Don't let him/encourage him. Give him a good blow job/play with him to the point of no return, seems like you are focussing on penetration without actually building up to it in any way. Why don't you practice taking the onus of penetration for now and working on your mutual masturbation techniques? If you can pleasure yourself to orgasm that's great, but he's not a mind reader, you are going to have to show him. Likewise, let him show you what turns him on.

colly10

santiago123 wrote: »

Especially when I am on top I try all sorts of stuff to get him to cum.
I have gone off the point here as I originally just wanted to know why he cums so little in me.

Ye that probably a good bit of the problem there alright, your trying things that don't come natural, making too much of an effort really. I've found that the things that feel the best to me are usually the things that feel the best to her, so it basically feels better when she's not trying to please me, just trying to please herself (the same obviously doesn't apply to foreplay)
You cant make him cum, the worst sex i've ever had is with the girl that tried the hardest, just do what feels good to you and enjoy it

santiago123

I suppose I am a bit on the mean side when it comes to foreplay. I know he likes blowjobs as any guy I have been with does but I don't want him to get the idea that he is going to get a bj on a regular basis. I am sure they would help getting him arosed but I don't want to make them a regular part of the foreplay he receives as I like to think that these are special treats once every couple of months even those he gives me oral weekly. I am just more self consious of giving blowjobs now as I get older. He definitely comes more when he gets a blowjob first but I just don;t want this to become a habit or I'll be down there everynight. I've tried the trick of bring him to the point of no return but will only do this when he has a condom on as I said earlier i cannot bring my self around to having to swallow sperm - got more than enough to taste when I was in my youth. I;m sure this does take away from his enjoyment but I consider it a small price to pay for him as I never ask him to wear a condom for peneration. Even though I know he would not come in my mouth unless I wanted it, its not something I prepared to comprise on.

Miss Fluff

santiago123 wrote: »

I suppose I am a bit on the mean side when it comes to foreplay. I know he likes blowjobs as any guy I have been with does but I don't want him to get the idea that he is going to get a bj on a regular basis. I am sure they would help getting him arosed but I don't want to make them a regular part of the foreplay he receives as I like to think that these are special treats once every couple of months even those he gives me oral weekly. I am just more self consious of giving blowjobs now as I get older. He definitely comes more when he gets a blowjob first but I just don;t want this to become a habit or I'll be down there everynight. I've tried the trick of bring him to the point of no return but will only do this when he has a condom on as I said earlier i cannot bring my self around to having to swallow sperm - got more than enough to taste when I was in my youth. I;m sure this does take away from his enjoyment but I consider it a small price to pay for him as I never ask him to wear a condom for peneration. Even though I know he would not come in my mouth unless I wanted it, its not something I prepared to comprise on.

Ah now come on OP, you are not playing cricket here at all. I am not condoning that you do something you are uncomfortable with but by the same token it seems that you think its fine for him to contribute to any foreplay while you don't. If you don't want to bring him to the point of ejaculation in your mouth then that doesn't have to be the case, and it seems from your post this is a huge issue for you. Fair enough. If that's the case then don't do that but this issue "being a price to pay" for him not using a condom is childish and unhealthy. To be honest OP from reading your posts I think you really need to sit down and have it out about your sex life. From reading over my post it is like I am making out oral is the be-all and end-all of foreplay, its not at all, there are a gazillion other ways to make each other come, but I think you need to give and take in equal measures when it comes to the bedroom and it seems like you are not.

santiago123

I suppose I am a bit on the mean side when it comes to foreplay. I know he likes blowjobs as any guy I have been with does but I don't want him to get the idea that he is going to get a bj on a regular basis. I am sure they would help getting him arosed but I don't want to make them a regular part of the foreplay he receives as I like to think that these are special treats once every couple of months even those he gives me oral weekly. I am just more self consious of giving blowjobs now as I get older. He definitely comes more when he gets a blowjob first but I just don;t want this to become a habit or I'll be down there everynight. I've tried the trick of bring him to the point of no return but will only do this when he has a condom on as I said earlier i cannot bring my self around to having to swallow sperm - got more than enough to taste when I was in my youth. I;m sure this does take away from his enjoyment but I consider it a small price to pay for him as I never ask him to wear a condom for peneration. Even though I know he would not come in my mouth unless I wanted it, its not something I prepared to comprise on.

Sherifu

santiago123 wrote: »

I suppose I am a bit on the mean side when it comes to foreplay. I know he likes blowjobs as any guy I have been with does but I don't want him to get the idea that he is going to get a bj on a regular basis. I am sure they would help getting him arosed but I don't want to make them a regular part of the foreplay he receives as I like to think that these are special treats once every couple of months even those he gives me oral weekly. I am just more self consious of giving blowjobs now as I get older. He definitely comes more when he gets a blowjob first but I just don;t want this to become a habit or I'll be down there everynight. I've tried the trick of bring him to the point of no return but will only do this when he has a condom on as I said earlier i cannot bring my self around to having to swallow sperm - got more than enough to taste when I was in my youth. I;m sure this does take away from his enjoyment but I consider it a small price to pay for him as I never ask him to wear a condom for peneration. Even though I know he would not come in my mouth unless I wanted it, its not something I prepared to comprise on.

You posted that already.

santiago123

Sorry posted above in error.

I guess I need to be more comprimising in the bedroom but I am a little self consious of what I get up to. I suppose I focused on blowjobs as they are what all guys enjoy and I know this would be sure way to get him to climax in me most likely. Also came across a site called redtube which is a blue movie site as I wanted to get some naughty ideas and all the women there are doing nothing only giving blowjobs so I figured my guy is probably is probably expecting them more often as they are now seen as a normal feature of a sexual relationship.

Miss Fluff

santiago123 wrote: »

I am just more self consious of giving blowjobs now as I get older.

So this was something at one stage you did feel comfortable doing?Why so self conscious OP? Have you put on weight and feel unattractive or do you feel that decent ladies shouldn't give fellatio? There must be a reason. To reiterate, I am not condoning that you do something you feel really uncomfortable with but maybe you should think about going back to basics and not making penetration the main focus of your lovemaking for now. Men CAN orgasm without ejaculating but if he ejaculates every time he masturbates and only does 20% of the time during sexual activity then I think it's time to take it back to foreplay and getting to know each other's bodies again. I'd also ask him to refrain from **** for now and promise him a treat in the bedroom. Set a date and get some excitement back girl!;)This will make him AND you make feel so much better.

crip17

Is he on any type of medication. ie. pain killer, anti-depressent etc......
Some are known to cause these symptems.

Also have you ever thought of group sex or bringing in another woman. then he will be sure too cum