So you're in Woodies just as a Zombie attack begins....

What do i do?

Well after working in the Hardware sector for 10 years, time and time again - ive sold Hatchets, slash hooks and lengths of chain cut to 8" to gentlemen of a community which will remain nameless...boss.

As they are expierenced in combat, i would take their expierence on this and buy similar. Slash hook with hatchet tooked into belt and chain wrapped around my fist. Id be tooled up nicely.


..perhaps i can trade my expierence on showering in return.

Dragan wrote: »

Information. Are they fast or slow? dead or diseased? if i get their blood on me will i turn as well.

First step is to find a working tv and see if i can learn anything. Then tool up as the saying goes.

ive a change of mind..

Il just follow you. You seem to have your sh1t together

Have you done this before?

How many actually Woodies ex-employees fdo we have in here? I served more than 4 years!

Ok I'd barracade myself in the stockroom with various items but cover the shop floor with sh*t loads of oil and grease .... flamable if possible so I could put a match to it if needs be.

Deleted User wrote: »

But then you'd just end up with a bunch of flaming zombies running around everywhere!

Mmmmm flaming zombies....

A brush handle


never underestimate the power of stick!!

Okay, ex-woodies employee - two years there.

First things first to those who said to head over to strimmers/chainsaws, what good is that going to be to you when woodies doesnt sell petrol (or two stroke more importantly) ? Unless your going to beat them to death with a lawnmower that section is useless to you.

Power tools while some would be beneficial most are useless due to the power cables, and I really dont think the zombies will wait patiently while you wait for stuff to charge either.

As some have said the best thing to do is to get to the second floor and try hold off until help arrives. Any branch of woodies that i've been in have a seperate staff area behind a security door which leads to a stairs to the second floor where all the offices/canteens etc are. In my experience all these stairs are made of metal.

Therefore to have any hope of removing the stairs after you your going to need a couple of extension leads, angle grinders and a lot of spare cutting discs.

Supplies to take upstairs before removing the stairs include - Vending machine contents (if available), lighter fluid and lamps (in case electricity goes), bludgeoning and cutting weapons (sledgehammers,axes, slash hooks etc.), Coil of good strong rope (everyone in the action film has rope), buckets (to store water in and to use to **** in if the water gets cut off), first aid kits (for non-zombie related injuries).

Should the upstairs of the store get breached you should always have a fallback plan. If you look next time your in woodies the roof consists of metal sheeting interspaced with plastic sheeting (to allow in light) ususlly one or more of these are directly above the staff area, smash out the plastic panel and (using the rope if nessecary) get everyone out onto the roof. Not ideal but the safest place you can get to.

A routine forced inspection of all in the party shoud be set into place on something like an hourly basis, if someone is found to be bitten then the risk cant be taken that they might infect others in the group so they have to be exterminated and the bodies dropped in an area away from the rest of the group.

We had a bit too much free time to discuss this question while we were working there.

6th wrote: »

Ok how about set up a line of electric lawn mowers turned over so the blades are face up?

That could work as a first line alright, gone though if the power outs. A bayonet front line of pitchforks behind that would be a good fall back.

6th wrote: »

Also you're right about the second floor, the old Tallaght branch would have been a great base.

Yeah all the branches are done to almost the exact same spec. The one in waterford would be a fine one to get trapped in. Especially if someone could get out and raid Lidl next door for food supplies.

6th wrote: »

How about greasing the steps of the stairs?

At the speed they travel I wouldnt think they are liable to slip ? and then imagine the court cases if they did ! Zombie hurt in Woodies fall - staff negligance to blame.

6th wrote: »

Get to the Carrickmines Store, it seems they have Sally Jessie Raphel as a manager - she sit everyone down and talk it out: http://www.woodiesdiy.com/dynamiccontent.aspx?loc=258

Thats all well and good - until you find out you are the only two survivors and ye need to repopulate the earth...

According to the zombie survival guide IIRC a machette is the weapon of choice for a meele.

The axe while its powerful and all is ony good enough when facing one on one. Imagine if your in the middle of a group of zombies, you swing your axe for the first, it kills it but the axe lodges in bone due to the force you swing at ? You might not dislodge it in time and then your a goner.

Compare that to a razor sharp machette decapitate where possible or just hold them back with it (not likely). Smaller chance of it getting stuck but still possible.

That said i've yet to see a woodies that stocked machettes.

Most things with blades are two handed - slash hooks, axes etc. so that you will run into the same problems each time. They do however have a good wide range.

A possible alternative might be two hand held hatchets but that will seriously limit your reach.