So you're in Woodies just as a Zombie attack begins....

magick

What is the first object you go for to protect yourself?

Id go with an axe because unlike a chainsaw it doesnt need petrol, and i can axe my though doors,zombies, and people who get in my way.....

KTRIC

I'd go for the cordless sanders and some white emulsion. I've been meaning to paint those stairs for a while.

rejkin

ah if i was in woodies when that happened id prob stay there,theres enough things there to keep me protected there for ages

Nerin

used to work in woodies...
there was a gardening knife like this
http://www.arborlab.com.au/images/1/11.jpg

i'd grab two of them
and this gardening scythe dealy too.
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:hUAAWQ-HtJg_BM:http://im.edirectory.co.uk/p/955/i/scythe1.jpg


awesome.

TEH REAL CDP

the unhelpful inanimate sales assistants. pick them up and use them as a striking object. you can also throw them at people.

Ruu_Old

A garden shed to hide in.

orestes

A nail-gun. Not one of those little ones, one of those big mutha fcuker one's like the one Bateman had in American Psycho that has it's own gas cannister.

Eat metal spikes you zombie basterds!

FunkZ

I'd hide on top of Ruus shed who while throwing hammers at them. Protect the fort!

Nerin

forklift ftw

biko

I'd run over to the spirit levels and drink them all.
The zombs are not getting me sober!

orestes

FunkZ wrote: »

I'd hide on top of Ruus shed who while throwing hammers at them. Protect the fort!

Can I join you up there with my nail-gun? We gotta stick together if we're gonna make it through this!

Nerin

orestes wrote: »

Can I join you up there with my nail-gun? We gotta stick together if we're gonna make it through this!

*lifts Ruu, fort and defenders onto top shelf with forklift*
better protection guys.
*drives off on killing spree*

Voodu Child

Those attachments for your shoes with spikes in them, for aerating your lawn.

Combined with my famous Chuck Norris-stylee roundhouse kicks, that would pretty much be the end of the zombies :cool:

FunkZ

Lads with nailguns shooting out of sheds on top of forklifts we could possibly be the new A-Team!

We can throw paint at them to make the whole thing humorous as well. I'm hoping the zombies are Shaun of the Dead style!

Fremen

Are these fast-moving zombies (28 days later), or the more conventional kind?
WD40 all over the floor might work pretty well against fast-moving zombies.

Nerin

make a perimeter around the fort with garden furniture,bbqs and lighter fluid.

Tar.Aldarion

Rail gun.

FunkZ

Is the attack starting outside or inside? Cause if it's outside ya could just order a pizza, film it and stick it on YouTube, those zombies ain't getting in here!

Davidius

Reminds me of Dead Rising.

keefg

magick wrote: »

What is the first object you go for......

The fecking door....as fast as my legs could carry me. I wouldn't stop running/swimming until I hit France.



Oh mind you, depends on what type of Zombies they are.....if they're those slow George Romero ones, then no problem, finish your shopping and take a nice stroll back to your car.

On the other hand, if they're the zombies from 28 days later then I would probably use the few short seconds before I die to soil myself.

Drift

1. Woodies has a large BBQ section

2. Zombies are not human

Surely I'm not the only one wondering what a zombie burger tastes like???

Abi

FunkZ wrote: »

Is the attack starting outside or inside?

Pff. Where is your sense of adventure?

I bags the water-butt.

smemon

clothes line & chainsaw.

tie the two ends of the clothes line to something. tie the chainsaw to the clothes line, start it up pointing down and let it fly along the clothes line, obviously when the zombies are right where you want them

FunkZ

Abigayle wrote: »

Pff. Where is your sense of adventure?

I bags the water-butt.

"Here come zombies"
"Excellent, tell them to wait there while I put on my Indiana Jones costume"

They're probably just going to 'attack' the awesome sales* in Woodies at the moment?

*Woodies don't actually have sales, terms and conditions need not apply :pac:

the_syco

Gas cylinders, fertilizer, spirits, and a nail gun. Take out most of the ****ers, with the explosions, than nail off the remainder.

Drift

Will you all stop killing my zombies in such explosive high temperature ways. It's RUINING the taste of the burgers. :mad:

The Real B-man

White Spirits & Matches!

I wouldn't be in Woodies when a zombie attack begins, I'd be in my fortress far far away :pac:

But to answer the question, I wouldn't use an axe. I'd use some sort of machete or sword (something very sharp, an axe requires too much of a swing so you might get caught if you mis-swing) - something with enough reach so that I wouldn't get bitten. Nail gun sounds good but it depends on how many zombies there are, plus whether the nail gun would go through the skull or just stay in the front of the temple.

niceonetom

chainsaw...



...on a stick.

zuroph

the till.

The problem with a chainsaw is that the zombie flesh might go splat everywhere, and you risk ingesting some zombie pieces. Plus you have to go for the head.

nyarlothothep

Drift wrote: »

1. Woodies has a large BBQ section

2. Zombies are not human

Surely I'm not the only one wondering what a zombie burger tastes like???

Rotten probably.

I'd use poetry to defeat zombies. By reciting peoples poetry they would explode.

super_furry

A shovel, which I'd promptly sharpen the edges of into a big head chopping lobotomizer.

AlmightyCushion

I'd climb a set of stairs up to the second floor then I'd use an axe to destroy the stairs. No way for the zombies to get up means we're perfectly safe.

Virgil°

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

I'd climb a set of stairs up to the second floor then I'd use an axe to destroy the stairs. No way for the zombies to get up means we're perfectly safe.

Someones read the survival guide!:cool:

AlmightyCushion

Virgil° wrote: »

Someones read the survival guide!:cool:

Actually no, I just came up with it one night when I was watching a zombie movie one night with some of the lads.

Ulysses Gaze

Grab a bladed weapon and an axe and go for the stairs.

Using a nailgun will require getting up close to the Zombies and that increases the chance of you being feasted on..........

chainsaw...

http://www.psep.biz/images/chainsaw/tanaka-250pf.jpg

...on a stick.

3 - Problems with the chainsaw

1. They run out of fuel

2. They can stall at the worst possible times

3. They are too loud. From dealing with maybe 10 zombies, the noise from a chainsaw could attract another 20 easily.

I'd climb a set of stairs up to the second floor then I'd use an axe to destroy the stairs. No way for the zombies to get up means we're perfectly safe.

Good plan.

The Walsho

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

I'd climb a set of stairs up to the second floor then I'd use an axe to destroy the stairs. No way for the zombies to get up means we're perfectly safe.

It sounds good, but how exactly could you destroy the stairs with an axe? Presumably you'd have to do it when you've already gotten to the top of the stairs, in which case you'd only be able get to the top few stairs?
Man I love zombie survival plans. Zombie survival forum plzkthx

KdjaCL

Forklift with new sharp attachments and a few rolls of mesh fencing around cab.

Mosh them for a bit then pick off the remaining ones with nail gun, use forks to push them outisde then lock myself in and live on rabbit food for a bit..


kdjac

Nerin

The Walsho wrote: »

It sounds good, but how exactly could you destroy the stairs with an axe? Presumably you'd have to do it when you've already gotten to the top of the stairs, in which case you'd only be able get to the top few stairs?
Man I love zombie survival plans. Zombie survival forum plzkthx

monster survival forum plzkthx

AlmightyCushion

The Walsho wrote: »

It sounds good, but how exactly could you destroy the stairs with an axe? Presumably you'd have to do it when you've already gotten to the top of the stairs, in which case you'd only be able get to the top few stairs?
Man I love zombie survival plans. Zombie survival forum plzkthx

Well you could kick the rest of the staircase away. Failing that you could take the staircase out from the bottom and get a ladder and use that to get to the second floor.

Hellm0

Climb up on the nearest shelf which has the heaviest possible objects at hand and proceed to throw said objects upon the heads of aforementioned zombies. Given the time I would also certainly grab a hedge trimmers, some soil, seeds and a watering can with which I would fashion myself a new eden and repopulate the earth(as everyone knows women flock to a man who can garden).

Deliverance XXV

I wouldn't be in Woodies in the first place?

RuailleBuaille

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055262920&highlight=zombie+walk

Let's practise!

Corega

I'd use that nasale cnut from the Woodie's advertisements as a human shield.

LoanShark

I'd run to the bog and take out all the Toilet roll... I'd then run and get a bag of screws (Brass aprox 6" Long), I'd then run and get a roll of Gaffa Tape and then I'd hand it all over to Mac Guyver and say "Right Smart Ass Get out of this one"

The Walsho

I've been having this discussion with college friends for years and we've all come up with a fairly zombie-proof plan. However if I were in woodies, I'd find a pneumatic drill, shovels, and other digging implements. Barricade off a section of the place to myself and dig tunnels that criss-cross from one side to the other.

That and I'd booby-trap (teehee booby) the whole effin place. Them Zombies wont get me too easily!

The Walsho wrote: »

It sounds good, but how exactly could you destroy the stairs with an axe? Presumably you'd have to do it when you've already gotten to the top of the stairs, in which case you'd only be able get to the top few stairs?
Man I love zombie survival plans. Zombie survival forum plzkthx

I second this. The forum should be split into different sections with plans for each city/county of Ireland and then a general section on the impending Zombie Apocalypse.

Off to Feedback I go

LoanShark

Deleted User wrote: »

I've been having this discussion with college friends for years and we've all come up with a fairly zombie-proof plan. However if I were in woodies, I'd find a pneumatic drill, shovels, and other digging implements. Barricade off a section of the place to myself and dig tunnels that criss-cross from one side to the other.

That and I'd booby-trap (teehee booby) the whole effin place. Them Zombies wont get me too easily!

R U Vietnameese???:pac:

Support the Zombie Survival Forum.

Feral Mutant

A shovel(decapitate with the edge or bash for blunt damage), gas canister(for cooking/bombing while waiting it out) and a sledgehammer(for destroying my stairs, can just leave the banister to get up after, zombies don't climb).

Feral Mutant

Feral Mutant wrote: »

zombies don't climb

See, this is one major problem I have with the Zombie Survival Guide. It's based upon one type of Zombie only. What if there are more?

Say Zombies CAN climb. What then?