The worst book involving Ireland, ever.

thelordofcheese · 08-02-2008 08:11PM

syklops wrote: »

In terms of tv shows, there was an obscure Star trek the next generation episode about the PIRA, and the reunification of Ireland in 2024. It was never shown in UK or ROI for various reasons. IMDB link is here.

That was on the other night actually. I'd forgotten about it.
There was also the episode where they try to relocate what seems to be a small colony of space faring tinkers.

And the multiple episodes in DS9 where Chief O'Brien references his "Family in dublin" at the drop of a hat

TheIrishGrover · 08-02-2008 08:40PM

There was a tarzan tv series on Saturday mornings in the early 80s, probably after Anything Goes. Anyway, I vaguely remember an episode where Tarzan, Jane and "boy" (Couldn't be their son 'cause they weren't married) came across some Irish chancer who had himset up as a leader of a tribe. Thing is, he started talking to his tribe in Irish!

Course when he was talking English it wa all the usual bejaysus and begorrahs

Must look that up.

But kudos to Colm Meany for yelling BOLLOCKS in an episode of Star Trek. Yay

TheIrishGrover · 08-02-2008 08:44PM

thelordofcheese wrote: »

That was on the other night actually. I'd forgotten about it.
There was also the episode where they try to relocate what seems to be a small colony of space faring tinkers.

And the multiple episodes in DS9 where Chief O'Brien references his "Family in dublin" at the drop of a hat

Oh sweet Jebus I remember that one. Eye-clawingly bad.
But Voyager did a few in some holodeck Oirish village. Brutal. Fair enough if it was for a joke but to have a serious story going on? Wonder would they have gotten away with it if it was set in a "traditional" African village with minstrel-black "spear chuckers" or a "Traditional" asian village with "me so sowlee" kowtowing.
Still........ It was Star Trek voyager after all I suppose

Terry · 08-02-2008 08:49PM

TheIrishGrover wrote: »

Oh sweet Jebus I remember that one. Eye-clawingly bad.
But Voyager did a few in some holodeck Oirish village. Brutal. Fair enough if it was for a joke but to have a serious story going on? Wonder would they have gotten away with it if it was set in a "traditional" African village with minstrel-black "spear chuckers" or a "Traditional" asian village with "me so sowlee" kowtowing.
Still........ It was Star Trek voyager after all I suppose

Jesus. They did a few of those episodes in the quaint Oirish village. They really were terrible.

luckat · 08-02-2008 08:50PM

The second series of Heroes has some 'Irish' accents (I think at least one of the actors is English) that make you really queasy as they circle rapidly from Belfast to Dublin to Cork to Belfast...

They're in a pub that looks like something out of Boston, too. And there's a love interest called Caitlin but pronounced 'Kate-Lynn'.

monosharp · 08-02-2008 09:02PM

Deleted User wrote: »

That's what i immediately thought of when i saw this thread......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJrovKgrTw

Oh sweet merciful ...

Was that actually aired ? somebody tell me thats ... oh my god ...

its like .. an episode of scooby doo ...

monosharp · 08-02-2008 09:08PM

thelordofcheese wrote: »

That was on the other night actually. I'd forgotten about it.
There was also the episode where they try to relocate what seems to be a small colony of space faring tinkers.

You just made me spill my last jameson and joke down my jocks.

thelordofcheese · 08-02-2008 09:57PM

monosharp wrote: »

You just made me spill my last jameson and joke down my jocks.

and my work here is done!

*exits stage left*

EamonnKeane · 08-02-2008 11:00PM

That Star Trek episode was called "The High Ground", http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_High_Ground_%28Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation%29

Victor · 08-02-2008 11:42PM

Manic Moran wrote: »

If anyone knows one that can beat that, I'm all ears.

"Election 2007" - allegedly non-fiction.

Unpossible · 09-02-2008 12:58AM

There is some video floating around of Alvin & the chipmunks in Ireland, I saw alvins "Irish" song, it was terrible

ella minnow pea · 09-02-2008 01:04AM

On RTE One right now...

Far and Away

cyrusdvirus · 12-02-2008 09:16AM

What about Victor O Reilly's stuff?

His main character is good friends with the commander of the ranger wing, owns a castle on an island on the west coast, richer than sin, sleeping with some tv lady, .......oh, and has enough guns and in his castle to fight off a small army!

Been a while since i read it, but games of the hangman was in the same vein as dark rose!

Tenger · 13-02-2008 02:31PM

JIZZLORD wrote: »

dear god that book looks terrible.

After more than 10 years my mates still bring that book up as proof that I will read anything with guns in it.

plastic membrane · 13-02-2008 05:29PM

A good source of paddywhackery are Roger Corman's low rent cheap as chips films shot in and around Galway (Concorde films) back in the late ninetees. I was watching Bloodfist 8 the other night with a few mates, great for a few chuckles. Basically NUIG doubled as the headquaters for the CIA, im pretty sure GMIT was used as an American High School, a car blew up yards from where i live and Don "The Dragon" Wilson went around beating people up for no real descernable reason. Plus the addition of a very young Hector playing "Gormless Garda 1". T'was almost better than watching a real film.

I remember seeing Dark Rose in reputable bookstores back in the 1990's. Was almost tempted to buy one, simply because i thought it would be cool to read about explosions in places i've been too. Self control got the better of me.

But i did read Day Of Wrath, another one of those "Major terrorist incidents on the streets of Ireland Be De Hokey" Hokum. Got one of the silliest plot twists i've ever read..

briantwin · 13-02-2008 05:59PM

pompeii syndrome:

Father Frank Kane, filming a TV series on “Great Catastrophes in History”, grows convinced that people on the verge of extinction, as in Pompeii, consciously ignore all the signs of their impending doom. In Ireland, Garda Det-Sgt Stokes keeps encountering references to a shadowy figure called Omar. A young Saudi Arabian disappears from Ennis hospital, and later his body appears in a trawler’s fishing net. In Leeds, journalist Meg Watkins is assigned to research Freshpark Nuclear Plant in Cumbria. Initially impressed, she gradually grows horrified at its safety record. Meanwhile, Sheik Aboud is secretly training terrorist pilots to fly hijacked planes into Europe’s nuclear plants, using flight simulators at his walled County Galway residence. Gradually, Stokes closes in on the sheik as he feels some catastrophe is pending. So does Fr Frank Kane, for different reasons. And Meg Watkins is convinced that terrorists are going after Freshpark. Convergence comes when both Kane and Stokes hear Meg say on a TV talk-show that terrorists could hijack a plane out of Ireland and fly it into Freshpark. But it’s all too late. Omar has been in Co Galway all the time, as a respected citizen, and now does precisely what Meg had feared. The consequences are horrific…

Its utter pants. Irish Jack Bauer type stuff, only he wears a paddy cap and loves cabbage and bacon. The ending is particularly bizarre.
This is available in all book shops <- i chose to omit the word good!!

ScumLord · 13-02-2008 06:03PM

briantwin wrote: »

pompeii syndrome:

Its utter pants. Irish Jack Bauer type stuff, only he wears a paddy cap and loves cabbage and bacon.

Whats wrong with cabbage and bacon? It's a meal worthy of Jack himself.

sound_wave · 13-02-2008 06:51PM

On a similar note, does anyone know the name of the book which deals with the English, after a nuke being fired at them, invade Ireland (again) through the North to find housing for a couple of million English people affected by the nuclear fallout after Ireland and the rest of Europe refused to house the displaced people?

Heard a small bit about it on Newstalk one night but didnt catch the name of it....

anyone...?

briantwin · 13-02-2008 06:55PM

sound_wave wrote: »

On a similar note, does anyone know the name of the book which deals with the English, after a nuke being fired at them, invade Ireland (again) through the North to find housing for a couple of million English people affected by the nuclear fallout after Ireland and the rest of Europe refused to house the displaced people?

Heard a small bit about it on Newstalk one night but didnt catch the name of it....

anyone...?

Thats Pompeii Syndrome....
The premice for the ending was quite good. But i wish the book had have been about the aftermath rather than the whole chasing the wrong doers stuff.

purple'n'gold · 13-02-2008 09:19PM

The worst book involving Ireland, ever.

The "Big Tom" song book

Tenger · 14-02-2008 12:05AM

plastic membrane wrote: »

I remember seeing Dark Rose in reputable bookstores back in the 1990's. ..............................................Self control got the better of me.

I don't think it was a reputable bookstore then!!!

Well done on the self control,a better man than me!

iguana · 14-02-2008 12:21AM

I read that book years ago. It's not un-entertaining. It's not good or anything, but it's not the worst thing I've ever read.

It's nowhere near as bad as the Captain Planet goes to Belfast episode.

Grizzly 45 · 27-05-2008 12:06AM

Anyone read Frank Herbert [of DUNE fame] The White Plauge??
A famous US /DNA micro biologist is on a sabbatical in Dublin with his missus and two sons ,who get promptly blown up in Dublin by a renegade IRA unit.This drives the poor fellow mad,whereupon he goes back to the USA and home brews a plauge that targets three specific DNAs of the Irish woman, UK women and Libyan women.Figuring out that if he kills off all three females of the races,they cannot breed and all three races are guilty of the genocide/political troubles in Ireland.Wont reveal anymore if you havent read it.
Written in the 1980s,it has plenty of dreadful Irish chacters ,sterotypical top o the morin to ya IRA men and disapproving preists etc.
Laugh a minute book.

Oh another two TV shows that dealt with Ireland. One episode of Magnum PI. One of Higgins old chums happens to be a CO of the British forces in NI,who is on hols in Hawaii,and of course the RA is out to get him in Hawaii.As usual poor ol Magnum gets stuck in having to gaurd the CO and fend off some female journalists of Irish sympathies.God fun had by all.

Other one a real oldie[1970s] Hawaii Five O. For those who can remember the Riodans,we have Benji Riodan in the guise of a Provo commander buying arms in Hawaii of all places.

JangoFett · 27-05-2008 05:01AM

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj

The Irish guy in it...oh god, awful accent and to prove he's a good rugby player he....headbutts the coach and is welcomed to the team. The only thing that was almost right was he said the english were trying to wipe out the Irish for 500 hundred years...add another 300 years there buddy

The only people who can write Irish people properly are Irish and people who have spent several months with us. Americans still think we're feckless rogues out for a pint and a slap and NOTHING else. An american girl in perth the other day actually said to me "Do you know the internet?" I tried to say no and have her embarrass herself but I started laughing at her straight away

JangoFett · 27-05-2008 05:02AM

iguana wrote: »

I read that book years ago. It's not un-entertaining. It's not good or anything, but it's not the worst thing I've ever read.

It's nowhere near as bad as the Captain Planet goes to Belfast episode.

Didn't captain planet fix the whole "Irish Situation" in like 30 seconds?

Xavi6 · 27-05-2008 05:10AM

That twat in the trailer for 'P.S. I Love You' made me throw my remote at the tv.

Nerin · 27-05-2008 05:13AM

Xavi6 wrote: »

That twat in the trailer for 'P.S. I Love You' made me throw my remote at the tv.

one of my friends tried to convince me how sad it was

that gerard butler was dead

i said if you want to cry over him watch 300

he dies in that, only he dies freaking badass!

BraziliaNZ · 27-05-2008 05:15AM

Peig worst ever for sure. Those of you who are unfamiliar with the Peig (ie anyone who wasn't forced to study it in school in Ireland) should keep it that way. It's the autobiography of an old Irish hag who laughed a grand total of once in her entire life - when somebody hit somebody else on the head with a rotten turnip. Apart from that, it was wall to wall misery - not least because nearly all her 57 children died, many of them in suspicious circumstances. However, Peig's misery is nothing compared to the misery inflicted on the many hundreds of thousands of young Irish children who were forced to read and study her terrible book in school. The bitch.

27-05-2008 05:35AM

Slow coach wrote: »

7 milliseconds after the Arabs invaded the Yanks would come to our "rescue"

Naaaaa, not oil rich! Oh, I forgot Shannon that they have, for all practical purposes, taken over as a staging point in their war. Maybe they would rush over and capture Shannon, promise all kinds of improvements, and twist a 99 year territorial lease out of us (like the Panama Canal)? Sounds like poor fiction? Quick! Tell the author of that terrible novel!

JangoFett · 27-05-2008 07:25AM

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Peig worst ever for sure. Those of you who are unfamiliar with the Peig (ie anyone who wasn't forced to study it in school in Ireland) should keep it that way. It's the autobiography of an old Irish hag who laughed a grand total of once in her entire life - when somebody hit somebody else on the head with a rotten turnip. Apart from that, it was wall to wall misery - not least because nearly all her 57 children died, many of them in suspicious circumstances. However, Peig's misery is nothing compared to the misery inflicted on the many hundreds of thousands of young Irish children who were forced to read and study her terrible book in school. The bitch.

Was Peig not found to be a complete work of fiction a few years ago after someone researched it?

The worst book involving Ireland, ever.

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