proposing to your guy

LegacyUser · 05-02-2008 10:41AM #1

So this year is a leap year, which means us girlies can propose to our other halves on feb 29th! there'll be a lot of nervous guys me thinks

my question is two fold:
1) if the girl proposes does she need to get her own ring? can't really expect the guy to get it!
2) What engagement present can you get a guy if he already has a nice watch and big tv?

biko · 05-02-2008 11:18AM

Get a marker ring. You can then both go and have a look at rings you both like.

No pressie necessary - go out for meal & drinks after. Pay if you like.

Zulu · 05-02-2008 11:20AM

A car.

evry1sm8 · 05-02-2008 11:22AM

Just a general question on this topic...
What do the guys out there think, would you like to be proposed to as opposed to doing the proposing yourselves??

LegacyUser · 05-02-2008 11:24AM

well how do you guys feel about engagement rings for guys? not heard of too many guys wearing them!

everyonesm8 - any guys i've asked said they'd be chuffed. my OH has already he said he wouldn't mind being asked he he

funk-you · 05-02-2008 11:26AM

Personally i wouldn't like my GF to propose to me. I know where and how i want to do it and without sounding chauvinistic it would bother me a little that i didn't get to do it. I'd feel like i lost out on the asking her dad and getting on one knee etc...

I don't know what your partner is like though so maybe he'll receive it well. Best of luck.

-Funk

evry1sm8 · 05-02-2008 11:40AM

Personally if i was a guy id defo wana do the proposing myself!

But im just a bit of an old fashioned romantic

evry1sm8 · 05-02-2008 11:42AM

PS: I know a guy that wears an engagement ring. He did the proposing but he also wanted a ring so he picked it and she bought it.

L31mr0d · 05-02-2008 11:52AM

imo... and this is only my opinion, but a woman should wait for a man to propose. Now I don't say that from any sort of sexist, conservative viewpoint i'm just talking about the mindframe of the guy. Women are a lot more liberal with their emotions, they excel in emotions and have a greater understanding of them. A woman knows when shes in love.

Men however take longer to understand emotions, love (Agapē) tends to often get confused with lust (Eros) or affection (Storge). This is why I think women need to give men the chance to figure out if what they are feeling is true Agapē love. If a woman preempts this by proposing herself she puts herself in the shaky position of having a man who is still not sure of his emotions refusing the proposal or having a man who feels the wrong form of love accept it only to realise he'd made a mistake in judging his feelings.

Conar · 05-02-2008 11:53AM

I see no reason to assume only men should ask women.
I wouldn't mind being asked at all.

funk-you wrote: »

I'd feel like i lost out on the asking her dad

Do people really still do that?
I would have thought that asking a fathers permission would be very insulting to a woman, am I wrong?

evry1sm8 · 05-02-2008 11:56AM

Id feel really chuffed if a guy asked my dads permission, it would make me feel kind of respected...in a weird way

And i agree, in my opinion id wait for the guy to ask, at least then you know he really wants to commit

LegacyUser · 05-02-2008 11:57AM

L31mr0d wrote: »

imo... and this is only my opinion, but a woman should wait for a man to propose. Now I don't say that from any sort of sexist, conservative viewpoint i'm just talking about the mindframe of the guy. Women are a lot more liberal with their emotions, they excel in emotions and have a greater understanding of them. A woman knows when shes in love.

Men however take longer to understand emotions, love (Agapē) tends to often get confused with lust (Eros) or affection (Storge). This is why I think women need to give men the chance to figure out if what they are feeling is true Agapē love. If a woman preempts this by proposing herself she puts herself in the shaky position of having a man who is still not sure of his emotions refusing the proposal or having a man who feels the wrong form of love accept it only to realise he'd made a mistake in judging his feelings.

are they not the same concerns facing a guy who proposes??

saying a guy doesn't know when he's in love is just wrong....

L31mr0d · 05-02-2008 11:59AM

Conar wrote: »

Do people really still do that?
I would have thought that asking a fathers permission would be very insulting to a woman, am I wrong?

Not at all imo. I asked my wifes fathers permission first, and my wife respected me for it, not because she felt I was viewing her as property I had to ask to be handed over but more that it was showing respect for her father that had raised her to be the person she was.

In saying this, I think it takes discretion on the part of the guy. If the girl doesn't have a particularly good relationship with her father and he isn't in her life then its probably best not to ask him permission.

Overheal · 05-02-2008 01:20PM

I'd feel a bit out of place if she got down on one knee for the proposal alright.

Pigletlover · 05-02-2008 01:27PM

It's not something I'd do, mainly for the reasons outlined by L31mr0d. Men and women think differently and I think it's something that should be left up to the man to do when he feels he's ready. I think that a woman asking a man to marry her may cause him to feel a little trapped. That's just what I think and I know there are men who would like it, I just think the majority wouldn't.

BKtje · 05-02-2008 01:32PM

I'd have no issues if she proposed. I guess from the evidence of this thread it would depend on your guy

Regarding your initial 2 questions: I have no idea about the first but surely the second thing can be anything that he would like?

Marksie · 05-02-2008 01:33PM

This isnt a PI.

Moving to ah

Dudess · 05-02-2008 01:52PM

undecided2008 wrote: »

So this year is a leap year, which means us girlies can propose to our other halves on feb 29th!

We "CAN"?! Yay! We can!!!

my question is two fold:
1) if the girl proposes does she need to get her own ring? can't really expect the guy to get it!
2) What engagement present can you get a guy if he already has a nice watch and big tv?

Wait... I know! What about if the girl thinks for herself?!

Dudess · 05-02-2008 01:54PM

Conar wrote: »

Do people really still do that?
I would have thought that asking a fathers permission would be very insulting to a woman, am I wrong?

'Course you're wrong! What are you thinking?! She is her father's property and is thus "given away" by him on her wedding day. Proper order too!

Rb · 05-02-2008 01:54PM

I've no problem with women proposing to men, I'd actually encourage it.

HOWEVER, I'd rather be the proposer as it lets me have all the time in the world to make my mind up over it before doing it, if out of nowhere the girlfriend proposed to me, I definitely wouldn't be able to give an answer on the spot, which would be a horrible thing for her to endure.

challengemaster · 05-02-2008 01:54PM

Dudess wrote: »

We "CAN"?! Yay! We can!!!

Wait... I know! What about if the girl thinks for herself?!

hehe, I lol'd

Conar · 05-02-2008 02:15PM

L31mr0d wrote: »

Not at all imo. I asked my wifes fathers permission first, and my wife respected me for it, not because she felt I was viewing her as property I had to ask to be handed over but more that it was showing respect for her father that had raised her to be the person she was.

In saying this, I think it takes discretion on the part of the guy. If the girl doesn't have a particularly good relationship with her father and he isn't in her life then its probably best not to ask him permission.

Fair enough.

My daughter is only 7 so I think I've a few years left yet, but I have to so I'd be a bit worried if her then partner asked me for my permission.
I would wonder if he really respects her as an equal.
Perhaps I'm wrong on this but thats really how I'd feel.

If the woman does actually propose should she ask his father for permission?
That'd be hillarious!

azezil · 05-02-2008 02:15PM

It's rather difficult for me to imagine, my longest relationship to date has been 5 months ffs :rolleyes:, but I suppose if a guy did get down on bended knee, felt that much in love with me, it might be alright

Reku · 05-02-2008 02:41PM

What's this February 29th malarky, women propose to guys all the time!!!

It usually goes:

"Honey, you'd best sit down"

"Oh god! What's wrong?!?"

"Remember that night we had a bit too much to drink and kept the neighbours up 'til all hours?"

"...Yeahhh... ... *adopts look somewhere between skeptical and concerned* ...."

"I'm pregnant"

Extraplus · 05-02-2008 03:18PM

Conar wrote: »

If the woman does actually propose should she ask his father for permission?
That'd be hillarious!

No, she has to ask his mammy.

Coffea · 05-02-2008 03:25PM

undecided2008 wrote: »

any guys i've asked said they'd be chuffed. my OH has already he said he wouldn't mind being asked he he

Go for it!!

I think it's a lovely idea. From what you've said, I think it sounds like the answer will be a big 'Yes'!

And if all goes to plan, at least you'll never forget the date of your engagement

junior_apollo · 05-02-2008 03:40PM

Extraplus wrote: »

No, she has to ask his mammy.

Best of luck to any girl brave enough to attempt that hurdle!... hahahaa.....

Nobody is ever good enough for mammy's boy...

Plus the girl should be careful...

Girl get down on bended knee ...
Girl "Will you marry me?"
Guy "Yes of course my darling... Now.. while your down there...

"

:rolleyes:

IMO I'd prefer to be the proposer - not the proposee... more romantic and traditional I'd feel.

Conar · 05-02-2008 03:50PM

junior_apollo wrote: »

Girl get down on bended knee ...
Girl "Will you marry me?"
Guy "Yes of course my darling... Now.. while your down there... "

ROFL

Coffea wrote: »

From what you've said, I think it sounds like the answer will be a big 'Yes'!

I always find it a bit odd that someone would ask someone else to marry them and not know the outcome.
Surely if you love someone enough to ask them to marry you then you should already know them well enough to know what their answer would be.

Dudess · 05-02-2008 03:54PM

Marriage takes things to a whole new level though. My mate's boyfriend of well over nine years recently proposed to her and she said no. She's still mad about him and they haven't broken up or anything. But it just freaked her out. She's 28 and had it in her head that she'd get married in her 30s. Then this came along and floored her. She's very independent - has her own place, he has his own place. She's still studying part-time and wants to have her career sorted first. But again, she's crazy about her man. Of course she is. They're together the bones of 10 years.

Conar · 05-02-2008 03:57PM

Yeah I guess its not always as cut and dry as I put it.
Still I'm suprised the boyfriend of 10 odd years didn't realise she felt that way.

Must be a real kick in the stones to have a marriage proposal turned down.

Here_Young_Wan · 05-02-2008 04:18PM

Once you propose to him and he says yes you show him the huge sparkler you picked out for yourself and used his lazer card to pay for

proposing to your guy

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