Worried about bf drink driving

LegacyUser · 23-11-2007 06:06PM #1

Ive been goin out with this guy for about 5 months now we met in college and hes always drink driving but he won a breathalyzer device on the radio and he only drinks enough so hes under the limit. but It still worreis me and im afraid he will hurt or even worse kill himself or others I mean he sometimes has 2 or 3 cans and still show me this thing saying hes under the limit. His excuse about not affording taxis or whatever is hes a student and not breaking any laws. Any advice, before its too late please

dudara · 23-11-2007 07:28PM

It doesn't matter whether he's under the limit or not. Once you've taken a drink, even only one, your reflexes have been affected by the alcohol. In this day and age, drink driving is socially unacceptable and I would refuse to get in the car with him.

Overheal · 23-11-2007 07:49PM

OP: Do you drink?

Dr Lektroluv · 23-11-2007 09:41PM

He's not breaking any laws. Let's just say I'd rather get into a car with someone who is under the legal limit, than someone who only had 2 hours sleep or forgot their glasses or something.

wazzoraybelle · 24-11-2007 12:12AM

If he's under the the limit I don't see the problem.
Just make sure the breathylser is working properly and he tests 20 minutes after his last drink.

biko · 24-11-2007 12:32AM

Offer to drive and let him drink?
Take turns?

Oilrig · 24-11-2007 12:42AM

Sod the limit, if he's driving he should avoid the gargle. Its an issue of responsibility - ie mindset.

24-11-2007 08:07AM

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

He's not breaking any laws.

You don't have to be breaking laws to die in a car accident
It's about being responsbile not how much you can get away with under those pesky laws :rolleyes:

gamblitis · 24-11-2007 08:17AM

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

He's not breaking any laws. Let's just say I'd rather get into a car with someone who is under the legal limit, than someone who only had 2 hours sleep or forgot their glasses or something.

Are you serious?You'd prefer someone with a few cans than someone without glasses?come on get some sense.Please

As was said before even one drink can seriously impair your judgment and could be the one decision that cost you your life.I would agree with the suggestion of not getting in the car with him after he has been drinking.and about the poor part?if he is able to go drinking and can afford to keep a car on the road and risk a seriously hefty fine and even worse consequences for being caught then he can def afford a taxi home!try and talk some sense into him.

wazzoraybelle · 24-11-2007 10:18AM

gamblitis wrote: »

Are you serious?You'd prefer someone with a few cans than someone without glasses?come on get some sense.Please

Are you serious!!!
Are you suggestin that someone who is under the limit is more at risk of an accident than someone who is driving without their glasses?
That beggars belief.
I never think twice about having a drink ( only one mind) and driving home. My work involves me driving long distances at night and in my opinion tiredness is the most debilitating factor. Yet that is perfectly acceptable, but being responsible and staying under the limit appears not to be!
We don't all live within walking distance of a pub/taxi rank

finbarrk · 24-11-2007 03:49PM

A couple of cans wouldn't do any harm. Much safer than the lads doing coke, etc. anyway.

MagicMarker · 24-11-2007 04:20PM

finbarrk wrote: »

A couple of cans wouldn't do any harm. Much safer than the lads doing coke, etc. anyway.

Excellent insight there. :rolleyes:

OP: Dump your bf just for being a complete tool.

And wazzoraybelle, i've never driven without glasses but i'd much rather drive without glasses than drive with a few drinks on me. I could drive without glasses easily enough, things would just be a little blurryer(sp?)...

As for tiredness, nothing a splash of cold water/shower wouldn't fix, unless you've been awake for a few days, which is unlikely now isn't it?

Talliesin · 24-11-2007 04:35PM

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

He's not breaking any laws.

There's no law against jumping off a cliff. Off you go.

milkerman · 24-11-2007 05:02PM

Warning!
I have seen these breath analysers for sale on the net and heard of some putting a great deal of faith in them.
The breath analysers used by the Gardai are subject to regular & accurate calibration testing. They have to be, because like any other piece of measuring equipment, they are only as accurate as the treatment they receive on a day-to-day basis. Your BF probably chucks it in the glovebox and this analyser could be grossly inaccurate.
I have checked my breath on an official analyser after two small whiskeys and was over the limit. I am a big person & in theory should be able to ingest more while remaining under the limit, but no - had I been driving I would have been fcukd. 3 Cans would see me or anybody else over the limit I think.

leeroybrown · 24-11-2007 05:51PM

Regardless of peoples opinions on the safety/morality/etc of others driving once they know they are under the limit the important point is that the fool is relying on a cheap un-calibrated breathalyzer. Drinking sufficient alcohol to be over the limit the waiting until this gives the green light is stupid.

l3LoWnA · 24-11-2007 06:01PM

Concernedgf wrote: »

Ive been goin out with this guy for about 5 months now we met in college and hes always drink driving but he won a breathalyzer device on the radio and he only drinks enough so hes under the limit. but It still worreis me and im afraid he will hurt or even worse kill himself or others I mean he sometimes has 2 or 3 cans and still show me this thing saying hes under the limit. His excuse about not affording taxis or whatever is hes a student and not breaking any laws. Any advice, before its too late please

The legal limit is being reduced to practically nothing very soon as far as I know so his home tester thing wont be any good then....will he stop then do you think?

Have you said it to him lately? He needs to stop! I'd doubt the breathalyser he's using is as accurate as garda testers anyways so he's walking a fine line. He'd be LOST without his licence. I don't know how much talking to him will help but you can try?! Another route you could take, although extreme.... would be to grass him up to the gardai the next time you think he's endangering lives by driving under the influence. If you're that worried about it and genuinely fear for his or others safety then you really should alert the authorities. He will probably lose his licence but if he as much of a danger to himself and others as you say then that would probably be a good thing. (you could at least threaten this if he won't stop!? Or would that just cause an argument?)

Dr Lektroluv · 24-11-2007 06:33PM

Talliesin wrote: »

There's no law against jumping off a cliff. Off you go.

Reported.

E92 · 24-11-2007 07:50PM

Even 1 drink impares your driving ability. IMHO the limit should be 0. However, and this is very important, it is said that being tired behind the wheel is as bad as having had a drink or 2. So its bad no doubt, but so is driving when you're tired too.

gamblitis · 24-11-2007 09:44PM

Right take this as an example.
Sorry but i just wanna get a point across here

Your boyfriend is driving home from the pub Christmas eve.You've had a great evening and everything is going swimmingly.He starts picking up a little speed.Its pretty cold out and ya wanna get home to bed nice and snug.He takes a bend a little too hard and the icy roads don't provide much traction the car starts to slide and skid across the road.Suddenly you see an elderly man right in your path and bam!Now when the report gets filed who do think will be in the wrong?What will the consequences be?He will be branded for the rest of his life and will have that on his conscience till the day he dies.Please just try and talk some sense into him.Paint a picture and if he loves ya he will change.If not then he is a fool with no common sense needs and will never learn from his mistakes.

daveirl · 25-11-2007 12:07PM

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser · 25-11-2007 12:23PM

l3LoWnA wrote: »

grass him up to the gardai.

didnt think it was going to happen, seeing as he drives under the limit, but it did.
i'd suggest l3LoWnA take up a hobby/ join a club/ go travelling/ talk to him/her...

l3LoWnA · 25-11-2007 01:26PM

daveirl wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

True but hopefully he'll be able to drink so little before reaching the new limit (hopefully he won't be able to drink 3 cans...) that he wouldn't be bothered drinking at all.....maybe?!

To the OP - any way you could slyly dispose of his new toy....or break it?!

Dr Lektroluv · 25-11-2007 03:03PM

gamblitis wrote: »

Right take this as an example.
Sorry but i just wanna get a point across here

Your boyfriend is driving home from the pub Christmas eve.You've had a great evening and everything is going swimmingly.He starts picking up a little speed.Its pretty cold out and ya wanna get home to bed nice and snug.He takes a bend a little too hard and the icy roads don't provide much traction the car starts to slide and skid across the road.Suddenly you see an elderly man right in your path and bam!Now when the report gets filed who do think will be in the wrong?What will the consequences be?He will be branded for the rest of his life and will have that on his conscience till the day he dies.Please just try and talk some sense into him.Paint a picture and if he loves ya he will change.If not then he is a fool with no common sense needs and will never learn from his mistakes.

Did you even read the thread? That could happen to absolutely anybody who speeds and/or drives dangerously - what the hell has it got to do with the op's problem?

Dr Lektroluv · 25-11-2007 03:05PM

l3LoWnA wrote: »

grass him up to the gardai

lol some of the replies here are hilarious.

OP: Garda - help my boyfriend is driving under the legal alcohol limit!
Garda: Err.... ok?
OP: He also plays football, goes to college, and other such perfectly legal activities!!!!
Garda: Right.. would you mind leaving the station please.

l3LoWnA · 25-11-2007 03:29PM

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

lol some of the replies here are hilarious.

OP: Garda - help my boyfriend is driving under the legal alcohol limit!
Garda: Err.... ok?
OP: He also plays football, goes to college, and other such perfectly legal activities!!!!
Garda: Right.. would you mind leaving the station please.

Those home tests are NOT as accurate as the garda ones and if she thinks he's a danger to himself or others on the road the chances are he IS over the gardai drink/driving limit and hasn't even tested himself or at least tested himself accurately. She's "worried" about it, thus there must be a problem, so I'd imagine he's not under the legal limit every time he gets behind the wheel.

What I'm trying to say is, if he's REALLY a danger to himself or others it should be a matter for the gardai to deal with. If this girl is "worried" about his drink/driving then it's possible he's driving OVER the limit a good bit (otherwise I don't really understand her problem TBH) If he has simply had one drink and it hasn't affected his judgement and he isn't breaking the law, she should stop worrying especially if he's so careful to breathalyse himself every time he's going to get behind the wheel.

I was trying to say in a nice way that if she's that worried that he's "drink" driving let the law deal with it, otherwise drop it!

Capt'n Midnight · 25-11-2007 03:48PM

Have you asked him to not drink/drive out of respect for your feelings ?

I've lost count of the number of times I've gone out for a drink and had to stay sober because the ex who was supposed to drive home took one glass of wine. Well below the limit but not capable of driving afterwards.

The problem here is drinking AND driving. Drinking OR driving is ok
if he can afford a car + insurance + drinking then he can afford a taxi / night link or you could go out with friends and have a designated driver .
Ask him about you learning to drive and getting your name on his insurance. If he gives you any bull about the cost of the insurance get his details and ring yourself , even with you on a provisional it's probably cheaper with a female named driver than a single young male.
If he has only a provisional license then by rights he should not be driving. If it's not a second provisional he shoud not be legally driving and would probably get done for that too if stopped for another offence.

The guards use real breathalyzers not radio show freebies I'm not sure how accurate it is.

Also the limit is going down soon - anyone got a link please ?

if he thinks you are being unresonable
http://www.rsa.ie/NEWS/News/Women_find_Drink_Drivers_a_Big_Turn_off!.html

A nationwide survey of 300 women has found that over 9 out of 10 women find men who drink and drive a major turn off. They literally wouldn’t be seen dead with them because 88% see them as ‘killers’ and a massive 92% would never accept a lift from a man who had drunk alcohol.

also http://www.rsa.ie/publication/publication/upload/Scientific%20Summary%20lres.pdf

25-11-2007 06:42PM

I think they should do away with any limit at all and adopt a no tolerance approach but until then it's a bit hazy as to what is acceptable. Also, obviously his 'radio station breathalyser' is likely to be a load of crap.

I dumped an ex because he'd drive after a few drinks, insisting he was totally grand. Unfortunately it's commonplace in Spain to do that, but that didn't make it acceptable to me. I felt by being with him I was saying it was OK, and tolerating it and I wasn't happy with that. I hope you work it out with your bf before it comes to that.

SarahSassy · 25-11-2007 06:47PM

He is not breaking the law so its a moral call. Do you have the right to ask him to stop doing something which is legal cos you dont like it??? I personally dont think you do. I think you can make the moral decision to stop going out with him but in all fairness he is not coked out of his head or doing the school run while drunk...... He is being a lot more responsible than many of the fools on our roads.

wazzoraybelle · 25-11-2007 08:02PM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

if he can afford a car + insurance + drinking then he can afford a taxi / night link or you could go out with friends and have a designated driver .

We don't all live in urban areas where taxis and night buses abound.
In rural areas the pub is the centre of the community and while I detest drink drivers I fail to understand people who don't give this any consideration.
That said op, if you are uncomfortable driving in the car with your bf you just shouldn't get in.

As I said in a previous post I drive frequently at night, often long distances and the only thing that scares me is fatigue which can have a strange effect on your perception, many multiples of the effects of one or two drinks ( and I mean only 1 or 2(I'm not trying to condone anyone drunk driving))

gamblitis · 25-11-2007 08:56PM

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

Did you even read the thread? That could happen to absolutely anybody who speeds and/or drives dangerously - what the hell has it got to do with the op's problem?

Well if he has a few drinks the that is obviously gonna be blamed for the accident because of his impaired judgment and he will have that on his licence and will have drunk driver name cast on him for a long time!If can can't understand that you need to get some sense.seriously

Dr Lektroluv · 25-11-2007 09:05PM

gamblitis wrote: »

Well if he has a few drinks the that is obviously gonna be blamed for the accident because of his impaired judgment and he will have that on his licence and will have drunk driver name cast on him for a long time!If can can't understand that you need to get some sense.seriously

Absolute bs. If he's under the legal limit, he CAN NOT BE CONVICTED OF A DRINK DRIVING CHARGE. I suggest YOU get some sense and read "Legal systems for dummies" or something. Like seriously what are you on about?

The gardai's breathalyzer devices actually err on the side of caution, so someone will be brought in even if they are barely over the limit on the device - which is why the urine/blood test MUST be done after for a drink driving conviction in court, and what sometimes happens is the urine/blood test results in a negative (I actually know people this has happened to), and they got released without charge.

Dangerous driving maybe but that's another story. Some of the most dangerous drivers on the road are the sober ones in my opinion.

Worried about bf drink driving

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