Worried about bf drink driving

LegacyUser

Ive been goin out with this guy for about 5 months now we met in college and hes always drink driving but he won a breathalyzer device on the radio and he only drinks enough so hes under the limit. but It still worreis me and im afraid he will hurt or even worse kill himself or others I mean he sometimes has 2 or 3 cans and still show me this thing saying hes under the limit. His excuse about not affording taxis or whatever is hes a student and not breaking any laws. Any advice, before its too late please

dudara

It doesn't matter whether he's under the limit or not. Once you've taken a drink, even only one, your reflexes have been affected by the alcohol. In this day and age, drink driving is socially unacceptable and I would refuse to get in the car with him.

Overheal

OP: Do you drink?

Dr Lektroluv

He's not breaking any laws. Let's just say I'd rather get into a car with someone who is under the legal limit, than someone who only had 2 hours sleep or forgot their glasses or something.

wazzoraybelle

If he's under the the limit I don't see the problem.
Just make sure the breathylser is working properly and he tests 20 minutes after his last drink.

biko

Offer to drive and let him drink?
Take turns?

Oilrig

Sod the limit, if he's driving he should avoid the gargle. Its an issue of responsibility - ie mindset.

Dr Lektroluv

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

He's not breaking any laws.

You don't have to be breaking laws to die in a car accident
It's about being responsbile not how much you can get away with under those pesky laws :rolleyes:

gamblitis

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

He's not breaking any laws. Let's just say I'd rather get into a car with someone who is under the legal limit, than someone who only had 2 hours sleep or forgot their glasses or something.

Are you serious?You'd prefer someone with a few cans than someone without glasses?come on get some sense.Please

As was said before even one drink can seriously impair your judgment and could be the one decision that cost you your life.I would agree with the suggestion of not getting in the car with him after he has been drinking.and about the poor part?if he is able to go drinking and can afford to keep a car on the road and risk a seriously hefty fine and even worse consequences for being caught then he can def afford a taxi home!try and talk some sense into him.

wazzoraybelle

gamblitis wrote: »

Are you serious?You'd prefer someone with a few cans than someone without glasses?come on get some sense.Please

Are you serious!!!
Are you suggestin that someone who is under the limit is more at risk of an accident than someone who is driving without their glasses?
That beggars belief.
I never think twice about having a drink ( only one mind) and driving home. My work involves me driving long distances at night and in my opinion tiredness is the most debilitating factor. Yet that is perfectly acceptable, but being responsible and staying under the limit appears not to be!
We don't all live within walking distance of a pub/taxi rank

finbarrk

A couple of cans wouldn't do any harm. Much safer than the lads doing coke, etc. anyway.

MagicMarker

finbarrk wrote: »

A couple of cans wouldn't do any harm. Much safer than the lads doing coke, etc. anyway.

Excellent insight there. :rolleyes:

OP: Dump your bf just for being a complete tool.

And wazzoraybelle, i've never driven without glasses but i'd much rather drive without glasses than drive with a few drinks on me. I could drive without glasses easily enough, things would just be a little blurryer(sp?)...

As for tiredness, nothing a splash of cold water/shower wouldn't fix, unless you've been awake for a few days, which is unlikely now isn't it?

Talliesin

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

He's not breaking any laws.

There's no law against jumping off a cliff. Off you go.

milkerman

Warning!
I have seen these breath analysers for sale on the net and heard of some putting a great deal of faith in them.
The breath analysers used by the Gardai are subject to regular & accurate calibration testing. They have to be, because like any other piece of measuring equipment, they are only as accurate as the treatment they receive on a day-to-day basis. Your BF probably chucks it in the glovebox and this analyser could be grossly inaccurate.
I have checked my breath on an official analyser after two small whiskeys and was over the limit. I am a big person & in theory should be able to ingest more while remaining under the limit, but no - had I been driving I would have been fcukd. 3 Cans would see me or anybody else over the limit I think.

leeroybrown

Regardless of peoples opinions on the safety/morality/etc of others driving once they know they are under the limit the important point is that the fool is relying on a cheap un-calibrated breathalyzer. Drinking sufficient alcohol to be over the limit the waiting until this gives the green light is stupid.

l3LoWnA

Concernedgf wrote: »

Ive been goin out with this guy for about 5 months now we met in college and hes always drink driving but he won a breathalyzer device on the radio and he only drinks enough so hes under the limit. but It still worreis me and im afraid he will hurt or even worse kill himself or others I mean he sometimes has 2 or 3 cans and still show me this thing saying hes under the limit. His excuse about not affording taxis or whatever is hes a student and not breaking any laws. Any advice, before its too late please

The legal limit is being reduced to practically nothing very soon as far as I know so his home tester thing wont be any good then....will he stop then do you think?

Have you said it to him lately? He needs to stop! I'd doubt the breathalyser he's using is as accurate as garda testers anyways so he's walking a fine line. He'd be LOST without his licence. I don't know how much talking to him will help but you can try?! Another route you could take, although extreme.... would be to grass him up to the gardai the next time you think he's endangering lives by driving under the influence. If you're that worried about it and genuinely fear for his or others safety then you really should alert the authorities. He will probably lose his licence but if he as much of a danger to himself and others as you say then that would probably be a good thing. (you could at least threaten this if he won't stop!? Or would that just cause an argument?)

Dr Lektroluv

Talliesin wrote: »

There's no law against jumping off a cliff. Off you go.

Reported.

E92

Even 1 drink impares your driving ability. IMHO the limit should be 0. However, and this is very important, it is said that being tired behind the wheel is as bad as having had a drink or 2. So its bad no doubt, but so is driving when you're tired too.

gamblitis

Right take this as an example.
Sorry but i just wanna get a point across here

Your boyfriend is driving home from the pub Christmas eve.You've had a great evening and everything is going swimmingly.He starts picking up a little speed.Its pretty cold out and ya wanna get home to bed nice and snug.He takes a bend a little too hard and the icy roads don't provide much traction the car starts to slide and skid across the road.Suddenly you see an elderly man right in your path and bam!Now when the report gets filed who do think will be in the wrong?What will the consequences be?He will be branded for the rest of his life and will have that on his conscience till the day he dies.Please just try and talk some sense into him.Paint a picture and if he loves ya he will change.If not then he is a fool with no common sense needs and will never learn from his mistakes.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

l3LoWnA wrote: »

grass him up to the gardai.

didnt think it was going to happen, seeing as he drives under the limit, but it did.
i'd suggest l3LoWnA take up a hobby/ join a club/ go travelling/ talk to him/her...

l3LoWnA

daveirl wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

True but hopefully he'll be able to drink so little before reaching the new limit (hopefully he won't be able to drink 3 cans...) that he wouldn't be bothered drinking at all.....maybe?!

To the OP - any way you could slyly dispose of his new toy....or break it?!

Dr Lektroluv

gamblitis wrote: »

Right take this as an example.
Sorry but i just wanna get a point across here

Your boyfriend is driving home from the pub Christmas eve.You've had a great evening and everything is going swimmingly.He starts picking up a little speed.Its pretty cold out and ya wanna get home to bed nice and snug.He takes a bend a little too hard and the icy roads don't provide much traction the car starts to slide and skid across the road.Suddenly you see an elderly man right in your path and bam!Now when the report gets filed who do think will be in the wrong?What will the consequences be?He will be branded for the rest of his life and will have that on his conscience till the day he dies.Please just try and talk some sense into him.Paint a picture and if he loves ya he will change.If not then he is a fool with no common sense needs and will never learn from his mistakes.

Did you even read the thread? That could happen to absolutely anybody who speeds and/or drives dangerously - what the hell has it got to do with the op's problem?

Dr Lektroluv

l3LoWnA wrote: »

grass him up to the gardai

lol some of the replies here are hilarious.

OP: Garda - help my boyfriend is driving under the legal alcohol limit!
Garda: Err.... ok?
OP: He also plays football, goes to college, and other such perfectly legal activities!!!!
Garda: Right.. would you mind leaving the station please.

l3LoWnA

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

lol some of the replies here are hilarious.

OP: Garda - help my boyfriend is driving under the legal alcohol limit!
Garda: Err.... ok?
OP: He also plays football, goes to college, and other such perfectly legal activities!!!!
Garda: Right.. would you mind leaving the station please.

Those home tests are NOT as accurate as the garda ones and if she thinks he's a danger to himself or others on the road the chances are he IS over the gardai drink/driving limit and hasn't even tested himself or at least tested himself accurately. She's "worried" about it, thus there must be a problem, so I'd imagine he's not under the legal limit every time he gets behind the wheel.

What I'm trying to say is, if he's REALLY a danger to himself or others it should be a matter for the gardai to deal with. If this girl is "worried" about his drink/driving then it's possible he's driving OVER the limit a good bit (otherwise I don't really understand her problem TBH) If he has simply had one drink and it hasn't affected his judgement and he isn't breaking the law, she should stop worrying especially if he's so careful to breathalyse himself every time he's going to get behind the wheel.

I was trying to say in a nice way that if she's that worried that he's "drink" driving let the law deal with it, otherwise drop it!

Capt'n Midnight

Have you asked him to not drink/drive out of respect for your feelings ?

I've lost count of the number of times I've gone out for a drink and had to stay sober because the ex who was supposed to drive home took one glass of wine. Well below the limit but not capable of driving afterwards.

The problem here is drinking AND driving. Drinking OR driving is ok
if he can afford a car + insurance + drinking then he can afford a taxi / night link or you could go out with friends and have a designated driver .
Ask him about you learning to drive and getting your name on his insurance. If he gives you any bull about the cost of the insurance get his details and ring yourself , even with you on a provisional it's probably cheaper with a female named driver than a single young male.
If he has only a provisional license then by rights he should not be driving. If it's not a second provisional he shoud not be legally driving and would probably get done for that too if stopped for another offence.

The guards use real breathalyzers not radio show freebies I'm not sure how accurate it is.


Also the limit is going down soon - anyone got a link please ?


if he thinks you are being unresonable
http://www.rsa.ie/NEWS/News/Women_find_Drink_Drivers_a_Big_Turn_off!.html

A nationwide survey of 300 women has found that over 9 out of 10 women find men who drink and drive a major turn off. They literally wouldn’t be seen dead with them because 88% see them as ‘killers’ and a massive 92% would never accept a lift from a man who had drunk alcohol.

also http://www.rsa.ie/publication/publication/upload/Scientific%20Summary%20lres.pdf

I think they should do away with any limit at all and adopt a no tolerance approach but until then it's a bit hazy as to what is acceptable. Also, obviously his 'radio station breathalyser' is likely to be a load of crap.

I dumped an ex because he'd drive after a few drinks, insisting he was totally grand. Unfortunately it's commonplace in Spain to do that, but that didn't make it acceptable to me. I felt by being with him I was saying it was OK, and tolerating it and I wasn't happy with that. I hope you work it out with your bf before it comes to that.

SarahSassy

He is not breaking the law so its a moral call. Do you have the right to ask him to stop doing something which is legal cos you dont like it??? I personally dont think you do. I think you can make the moral decision to stop going out with him but in all fairness he is not coked out of his head or doing the school run while drunk...... He is being a lot more responsible than many of the fools on our roads.

wazzoraybelle

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

if he can afford a car + insurance + drinking then he can afford a taxi / night link or you could go out with friends and have a designated driver .

We don't all live in urban areas where taxis and night buses abound.
In rural areas the pub is the centre of the community and while I detest drink drivers I fail to understand people who don't give this any consideration.
That said op, if you are uncomfortable driving in the car with your bf you just shouldn't get in.

As I said in a previous post I drive frequently at night, often long distances and the only thing that scares me is fatigue which can have a strange effect on your perception, many multiples of the effects of one or two drinks ( and I mean only 1 or 2(I'm not trying to condone anyone drunk driving))

gamblitis

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

Did you even read the thread? That could happen to absolutely anybody who speeds and/or drives dangerously - what the hell has it got to do with the op's problem?

Well if he has a few drinks the that is obviously gonna be blamed for the accident because of his impaired judgment and he will have that on his licence and will have drunk driver name cast on him for a long time!If can can't understand that you need to get some sense.seriously

Dr Lektroluv

gamblitis wrote: »

Well if he has a few drinks the that is obviously gonna be blamed for the accident because of his impaired judgment and he will have that on his licence and will have drunk driver name cast on him for a long time!If can can't understand that you need to get some sense.seriously

Absolute bs. If he's under the legal limit, he CAN NOT BE CONVICTED OF A DRINK DRIVING CHARGE. I suggest YOU get some sense and read "Legal systems for dummies" or something. Like seriously what are you on about?

The gardai's breathalyzer devices actually err on the side of caution, so someone will be brought in even if they are barely over the limit on the device - which is why the urine/blood test MUST be done after for a drink driving conviction in court, and what sometimes happens is the urine/blood test results in a negative (I actually know people this has happened to), and they got released without charge.

Dangerous driving maybe but that's another story. Some of the most dangerous drivers on the road are the sober ones in my opinion.

MagicMarker

wazzoraybelle wrote: »

We don't all live in urban areas where taxis and night buses abound.

Are you actually trying to make excuses here?

wazzoraybelle

MagicMarker wrote: »

Are you actually trying to make excuses here?

Maybe if you bothered to read my post you would see I don't condone people over the legal limit. I'm talking about people UNDER the legal limit.
I'm a responsible driver and as I said I often drive long distances at night and would have more to fear from a drunk driver than most.
The limit is set at 80mg because it is regarded as a safe limit. To lower it to Zero would be a PR exercise. As it is over 400 people are charged with drunk driving per week. Thats 20 000 per year. Only a fraction of that number get put off the road. Whats needed is proper enforcement of the existing limit.

Bottle_of_Smoke

[quote=[Deleted User];54504471]I think they should do away with any limit at all and adopt a no tolerance approach but until then it's a bit hazy as to what is acceptable. Also, obviously his 'radio station breathalyser' is likely to be a load of crap.

[/QUOTE]

That's almost impossible, eat some fruit & it will ferment in your stomach & produce alcohol. Negligible effect on you but is still chemically detectable.

Milkerman wrote:

Warning!
I have seen these breath analysers for sale on the net and heard of some putting a great deal of faith in them.
The breath analysers used by the Gardai are subject to regular & accurate calibration testing. They have to be, because like any other piece of measuring equipment, they are only as accurate as the treatment they receive on a day-to-day basis. Your BF probably chucks it in the glovebox and this analyser could be grossly inaccurate.
I have checked my breath on an official analyser after two small whiskeys and was over the limit. I am a big person & in theory should be able to ingest more while remaining under the limit, but no - had I been driving I would have been fcukd. 3 Cans would see me or anybody else over the limit I think.

OP please show this post to your boyfriend.

Spud83

What I cant understand why he bothers having the three cans. Because either

A) Three cans is enough for him to start feeling the effects of alcohol and therefore they are enjoyable. However if he is feeling the effects of alcohol he shouldn't be driving, legal or not.

He doesn't feel any effect after the three cans and therefore he thinks he is OK to drive. But why bother having the three cans if you dont feel any effect. Its not like beer is the best tasting drink around.

On another point those home testing kits are not as accurate as the ones used by the Gardai. Even the ones used by the Gardai have been shown not to be fully accurate and that is why a blood or urine test must always be carried out afterwards. They are not to be trusted in any way.

Bendihorse

Also if the limit is lowered to Zero it would mean that its not safe to drive for the whole next day after a night out!

Im always very conscious of that and make sure to sleep in as long as is reasonably possible - get at least 7 to 8 hours sleep after last drink, get up, eat a good breakfast and leave driving till as late in the day as possible but i have to admit to feeling nervous about driving the next day even with the current drink drive limit.

dudara

Let's not turn this into a debate on driving and drinking. Please try to give the OP some constructive advice on how to raise this with her boyfriend.

I think Capt'n Midnight said it best when he asked if the OP had asked him to stop out of consideration for her feelings.

Marksie

Dr Lektroluv wrote: »

Absolute bs. If he's under the legal limit, he CAN NOT BE CONVICTED OF A DRINK DRIVING CHARGE. I suggest YOU get some sense and read "Legal systems for dummies" or something. Like seriously what are you on about?

Dr. Lerktroluv. You have started one feedback thread already and are being aggressive again. I am not suggesting that you tone your posts down, i am telling you to tone your posts down.

The gardai will not do him if he is under the limit. But the presence of alcohol in the system will be taken into account when proportioning blame for an accident amd also insurance claims.

Sarahsassy said quite rightly that its a moral call at the moment, You can voice your displeasure but its up to him to do something about it.
What you can do OP is refuse point blank to travel with him if he is drinking. That is one sure fire way of making him aware of how you feel

Star Lord

Marksie wrote: »

What you can do OP is refuse point blank to travel with him if he is drinking. That is one sure fire way of making him aware of how you feel

Seconded.

Tell him you will not travel with him if he's had any drink at all! That'll soo hit home with him, if he's decent, he'll sort himself out, if not, chuck him tbh!

SheroN

The gardai will not do him if he is under the limit. But the presence of alcohol in the system will be taken into account when proportioning blame for an accident amd also insurance claims.

Are you sure that's true? If he's under the legal limit, he's under the legal limit. He's not classed as a drunk driver so no extra "proportion" of blame will be given to him.

Dr Lektroluv

SheroN wrote: »

Are you sure that's true? If he's under the legal limit, he's under the legal limit. He's not classed as a drunk driver so no extra "proportion" of blame will be given to him.

I highly doubt it's true. Care to provide a source for your little "fact" Marksie?

dudara

Dr Lektroluv You have already been warned by Marskie to tone down your comments. And I warned people previously to leave the drink driving debate alone. Continue this at your peril.

dudara

Marksie

SheroN wrote: »

Are you sure that's true? If he's under the legal limit, he's under the legal limit. He's not classed as a drunk driver so no extra "proportion" of blame will be given to him.

I am not going off topic here so i will PM you.

gillyfromlyre

The hubby thinks he can fly after about 2 cans of scrumpy, I hide the car keys now, because once he gets any bit of a buzz going he thinks hes Colin McRae. Hes far from it, took him 5 goes at the driving test to pass.

lucyburn

My father drink drives every time he goes out.He's a garda and says that he'll never be stopped or caught because all the other guards are afraid of him.
My mother still doesn't like it, she's afraid that he'll kill himself or somebody else one day, but he won't listen.

jimmycrackcorm

gillyfromlyre wrote: »

The hubby thinks he can fly after about 2 cans of scrumpy, I hide the car keys now, because once he gets any bit of a buzz going he thinks hes Colin McRae. Hes far from it, took him 5 goes at the driving test to pass.

Looks like he got lucky the fifth time....

jimmycrackcorm

l3LoWnA wrote: »

Those home tests are NOT as accurate as the garda ones and if she thinks he's a danger to himself or others on the road the chances are he IS over the gardai drink/driving limit and hasn't even tested himself or at least tested himself accurately. She's "worried" about it, thus there must be a problem, so I'd imagine he's not under the legal limit every time he gets behind the wheel.

A Garda speed gun must be calibrated. Your car speedometer is not regularly calibrated yet you will rely on it to ensure that you will not be going over the speed limit.

Unless you are close to the edge of the limit on those home devices, then you are ok.

craichoe

Good to see the RSA has scared the living crap out of everyone.

The limit is coming down from .8 to .5 to bring Ireland in line with most other EU countries.

Garda breathalisers are no more or less accurate than the ones you can purchase yourself, their just checked to see if their working or not. Callibration is set by taking a 0 reading, i.e. no Alcohol.

We did some testing with one:
If you take a shot of whiskey and do the breathaliser immediately afterwards, you will show up 3 to 4 times over the legal limit. If you wait 30 minutes you won't, because it has disappated off your breath.

Personally I wouldn't bother having 1 drink if i was driving. Maybe a glass of wine with a steak.

Your B/F isn't breaking the law from the sounds of it.

Apologies for the off topic comment below:

I hate this social babysitting conditioning crap that goes on in this country, people are being spoon fed god damn obvious information, people should think about it themselves and not have to remember an RSA ad they saw with some Girl getting mangled.

If your boyfriend did any of the following:

Drove with defective brakes
Had only one headlight working
Was missing a Wing Mirror
Never passed any form driving test and drove on his own
Have bald tyres
Drove without properly demisting/defrosting his windows
Drove while tired

All of the above are potentially lethal and thousands of people on the roads do it !

Come on people, theres far more dangers than what the Road Safety Authority tells you to be afraid/disgusted about.

dudara

craichoe Please stay on topic. This thread is not for discussing the legalities and technicalities of drink driving.

I would remind all posters to comment on how the OP can address this issue of hers.

Wacker

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

What I cant understand why he bothers having the three cans. Because either

A) Three cans is enough for him to start feeling the effects of alcohol and therefore they are enjoyable. However if he is feeling the effects of alcohol he shouldn't be driving, legal or not.

He doesn't feel any effect after the three cans and therefore he thinks he is OK to drive. But why bother having the three cans if you dont feel any effect. Its not like beer is the best tasting drink around.

On another point those home testing kits are not as accurate as the ones used by the Gardai. Even the ones used by the Gardai have been shown not to be fully accurate and that is why a blood or urine test must always be carried out afterwards. They are not to be trusted in any way.

I consider this to be the best advice to date. Why bother with a few cans? If he's not going to be drinking ebough to really feel it, then I'd figure he could have just as good a time hanging out with his mates and drinking tea or seven up. No need for the booze at all.
I can't see the OP getting her boyfriend to stop his behaviour through making appeals of any other nature.

gillyfromlyre

Exactly, the hubby says hes fine even when hes puking his guts up after a night out, "im fine, i'm fine". He can never admit hes drunk, the last time he got sick on the booze he said he had the flu, pathetic. Why can't men just admit sometimes that they are drunk and even 1 pint is too much