Does sexual past have an affect on how you percieve your partner??

gabgab · 23-11-2007 11:46AM #1

I am throwing this up as I have seen in a previous thread where someone is getting a hard time over his girlfriend having had a threesome, and he finding it difficult to come to terms with it,

It has opened my eyes a lot to peoples views I must admit, so I would be curious to see your opinions,

Thanks,

WindSock · 23-11-2007 11:54AM

I would say not really, only if he were a virgin would I be a bit iffy. It seems to be the other way around for blokes though. But I guess I would't be too trusting if he bedded 100's either.

RoyalMarine · 23-11-2007 11:56AM

the past is the past.
and honestly, whats happened in my past is MY past.

and same goes for her. i dont want to know.
if she doesnt tell me, then i dont know. but if she does, then the mind starts wandering and so on.....
best to leave the past in the past, and think about the present and the future.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 23-11-2007 11:58AM

I didn't answer the poll.

Just to say, if the woman I love told me about a threesome in her past I'd have a very hard time getting my head around it.

It would seriously mess up my emotions. I even hate to think of my OH being with someone before me.

cance · 23-11-2007 12:03PM

Mairt wrote: »

Just to say, if the woman I love told me about a threesome in her past I'd have a very hard time getting my head around it.

I agree, ignorance really is bliss.

Its like women farting, its just better not knowing.

Stephen P · 23-11-2007 12:04PM

Who my partner was with before me is her business and who I was with is my business. I know its not nice thinking of who they were with before and what they possibly got up to but he/she is with you now so you should be grateful for that.

Cathmandooo · 23-11-2007 12:06PM

I prefer them to be a bit experienced! Obviously I wont want to think about them with other people but if their past experiences bring me more pleasure then I dont mind what they've done. Once it doesnt affect me badly or compromise our future together!

Ph3n0m · 23-11-2007 12:08PM

This begs the question - would you brag about your past exploits to your current bf/gf?

From experience, I wouldnt want the details, etc. And since the movie was used as a reference point, I think its time to bust out the speech that would explain it all

So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bull****. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic. So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the **** is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.
Jay: ****ing-A.
Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...So to speak.

RoyalMarine · 23-11-2007 12:09PM

Cathooo wrote: »

I prefer them to be a bit experienced! Obviously I wont want to think about them with other people but if their past experiences bring me more pleasure then I dont mind what they've done. Once it doesnt affect me badly or compromise our future together!

very true. no one likes someone who aint got a clue. nd just ly's there.
but i dont think anyone would want a girl who's slept with a couple of fella's in one night nd done sick shít.....

and as already said, ignorance is bliss! except they dont see it that way and go and fúckin tell ya!

Pigletlover · 23-11-2007 12:11PM

For me it would. I don't know much about my boyfriends sexual past and nor do I want to. We both come from different towns so we don't know much about each others exes. I'm from a fairly small town where it seems everyone rides everyone and everybody knows about it, I could never see myself being comfortable knowing all about a partner's sexual past.

I have no problem with the fact that my boyfriend was with other people before me but I don't want to know who or any intimate details. Unless I ask, then I don't want to be told.

*Page* · 23-11-2007 12:14PM

the only thing i have requested from any partner before i have s€x(i dont do ramdomers) is to get an sti test.

the two of us go into gether and get tested. this way i can be safe and at ease with my partner. i dont care who they did it with or when or how many, all i care about is if they are clean and safe to do things with me.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 23-11-2007 12:15PM

Ph3n0m wrote: »

This begs the question - would you brag about your past exploits to your current bf/gf?

No, absolutely not. I hate even talking about the past as I'm totally focused on the one lady I love most in the world.

Even in my own personal time alone (having a peddle) I wouldn't think of anyone else but my OH.

*Page* · 23-11-2007 12:18PM

Ph3n0m wrote: »

This begs the question - would you brag about your past exploits to your current bf/gf?

From experience, I wouldnt want the details, etc. And since the movie was used as a reference point, I think its time to bust out the speech that would explain it all

I love chasing amy!

Hivemind187 · 23-11-2007 12:20PM

Its amazing that these days people still have hang ups regarding sex and sexuality.

Frankly, if we stopped identifying ourselves by the badges of gay, straight, poly-amourists etc a lot of this nonsense would cease to matter.

I vote "find em as I find em" but thats probably more to do with being quietly grateful that I can get someone to sleep with me.

Stephen P · 23-11-2007 12:21PM

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

very true. no one likes someone who aint got a clue. nd just ly's there.
but i dont think anyone would want a girl who's slept with a couple of fella's in one night nd done sick shít.....

and as already said, ignorance is bliss! except they dont see it that way and go and fúckin tell ya!

Now if I found out she was one half of 2girls1cup I'd have serious issues with that!!

cance · 23-11-2007 12:25PM

stephen p wrote: »

Now if I found out she was one half of 2girls1cup I'd have serious issues with that!!

:eek:

23-11-2007 12:27PM

This post has been deleted.

RoyalMarine · 23-11-2007 12:28PM

*Page* wrote: »

the only thing i have requested from any partner before i have s€x(i dont do ramdomers) is to get an sti test.

the two of us go into gether and get tested. this way i can be safe and at ease with my partner. i dont care who they did it with or when or how many, all i care about is if they are clean and safe to do things with me.

some look on your face if his test was positive for somethin :P

23-11-2007 12:30PM

We've both had adventerous sexual pasts...I've gotten over it I'm sure he has too.....

*Page* · 23-11-2007 12:34PM

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

some look on your face if his test was positive for somethin :P

if they gots something then i dont do them... more the look on there face than mine...

Hasn't happened yet and i seem to be in a fairly strong relationship*touch wood*

my reasons come from my mothers explaination of being with someone with a past...

"you are a virgin= 0
the person you deside to loose it to has slept with 2 people

you now =3
the two ppl they slept with both slept with 2 other ppl
you = 7
the 4 ppl also slept with other ppl
you = god knows how many...

you always get them tested before you find out 1 of those other people had something that you dont want!

Iago · 23-11-2007 12:34PM

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

but i dont think anyone would want a girl who's slept with a couple of fella's in one night nd done sick shít.....

so if you had the opportunity to sleep with two women in one night you'd turn it down?

if not why should it be any different for a future partner?

It's all about insecurity, if you have faith in yourself then it doesn't matter what your partner did or who they did it with in the past.

Of course it helps when you know you're incredible in bed, I guess I'm just lucky

arybvtcw0eolkf · 23-11-2007 12:34PM

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

We've both had adventerous sexual pasts...I've gotten over it I'm sure he has too.....

He's a man, I doubt it!.

Earthhorse · 23-11-2007 12:39PM

I dunno, why is sexual past any different to any other kind of past? If your partner told you they'd been in jail for burglarly would that change your view of them?

I think a person's past does influence how we see them though I agree that we should always try and deal with what's in front of us today, for better or worse.

LadyJ · 23-11-2007 12:39PM

I think that this is a problem which affects men in a more passionate way. Generally men get angry thinking about their girlfriend with another man. Women may not like to think about their boyfriend being with other women but usually it doesn't get us as worked up.

Men in general are more sexually territorial but women are usually more put out by their man having an intimate relationship/friendship with another woman.

RoyalMarine · 23-11-2007 12:40PM

Iago wrote: »

so if you had the opportunity to sleep with two women in one night you'd turn it down?

if not why should it be any different for a future partner?

It's all about insecurity, if you have faith in yourself then it doesn't matter what your partner did or who they did it with in the past.

Of course it helps when you know you're incredible in bed, I guess I'm just lucky

yeah id turn it down. its not what interests me.
but if i did do it, i wouldnt tell my next partner.

CountryWise · 23-11-2007 12:40PM

What would annoy me was if her past was more adventurous than mine, stupid and childish i know but just being honest!

23-11-2007 12:44PM

Mairt wrote: »

He's a man, I doubt it!.

No I wouldn't say so ...He was curious I think he found it was a turn on, I know I did with him ....:)

kraggy · 23-11-2007 12:46PM

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

No I wouldn't say so ...He was curious I think he found it was a turn on, I know I did with him ....:)

You found it a turn-on to hear about your partner's previous experiences?

SheroN · 23-11-2007 12:56PM

How could it be a turn on to hear that your GF has been rooted from behind while she was sucking another guy's c*ck?

arybvtcw0eolkf · 23-11-2007 12:59PM

SheroN wrote: »

How could it be a turn on to hear that your GF has been rooted from behind while she was sucking another guy's c*ck?

Jeeze you've just given me a stomping big horn

humbert · 23-11-2007 01:06PM

Depends on the girl and the relationship. If you're having a cute sensitive type relationship and you've got it in your head she's just that type of girl and you find something like that out it's going to make your head spin.

If she's experienced and confident then I don't think I'd care. I've talked to girlfriends about all sorts of stuff we've gotten up to in the past and not been slightly bothered.

Tbh the only time that sort of thing pisses me off is when the girl has done stuff because the guy coerced her into it or because she thought if was fashionable or some other similarly stupid reason.

Does sexual past have an affect on how you percieve your partner??

Would your other half, having had a threesome, affect how you view them? 178 votes

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