Does sexual past have an affect on how you percieve your partner??

gabgab

I am throwing this up as I have seen in a previous thread where someone is getting a hard time over his girlfriend having had a threesome, and he finding it difficult to come to terms with it,

It has opened my eyes a lot to peoples views I must admit, so I would be curious to see your opinions,

Thanks,

WindSock

I would say not really, only if he were a virgin would I be a bit iffy. It seems to be the other way around for blokes though. But I guess I would't be too trusting if he bedded 100's either.

RoyalMarine

the past is the past.
and honestly, whats happened in my past is MY past.

and same goes for her. i dont want to know.
if she doesnt tell me, then i dont know. but if she does, then the mind starts wandering and so on.....
best to leave the past in the past, and think about the present and the future.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I didn't answer the poll.

Just to say, if the woman I love told me about a threesome in her past I'd have a very hard time getting my head around it.

It would seriously mess up my emotions. I even hate to think of my OH being with someone before me.

cance

Mairt wrote: »

Just to say, if the woman I love told me about a threesome in her past I'd have a very hard time getting my head around it.

I agree, ignorance really is bliss.

Its like women farting, its just better not knowing.

Stephen P

Who my partner was with before me is her business and who I was with is my business. I know its not nice thinking of who they were with before and what they possibly got up to but he/she is with you now so you should be grateful for that.

Cathmandooo

I prefer them to be a bit experienced! Obviously I wont want to think about them with other people but if their past experiences bring me more pleasure then I dont mind what they've done. Once it doesnt affect me badly or compromise our future together!

Ph3n0m

This begs the question - would you brag about your past exploits to your current bf/gf?

From experience, I wouldnt want the details, etc. And since the movie was used as a reference point, I think its time to bust out the speech that would explain it all

So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bull****. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic. So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the **** is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.
Jay: ****ing-A.
Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...So to speak.

RoyalMarine

Cathooo wrote: »

I prefer them to be a bit experienced! Obviously I wont want to think about them with other people but if their past experiences bring me more pleasure then I dont mind what they've done. Once it doesnt affect me badly or compromise our future together!

very true. no one likes someone who aint got a clue. nd just ly's there.
but i dont think anyone would want a girl who's slept with a couple of fella's in one night nd done sick shít.....

and as already said, ignorance is bliss! except they dont see it that way and go and fúckin tell ya!

Pigletlover

For me it would. I don't know much about my boyfriends sexual past and nor do I want to. We both come from different towns so we don't know much about each others exes. I'm from a fairly small town where it seems everyone rides everyone and everybody knows about it, I could never see myself being comfortable knowing all about a partner's sexual past.

I have no problem with the fact that my boyfriend was with other people before me but I don't want to know who or any intimate details. Unless I ask, then I don't want to be told.

*Page*

the only thing i have requested from any partner before i have s€x(i dont do ramdomers) is to get an sti test.

the two of us go into gether and get tested. this way i can be safe and at ease with my partner. i dont care who they did it with or when or how many, all i care about is if they are clean and safe to do things with me.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Ph3n0m wrote: »

This begs the question - would you brag about your past exploits to your current bf/gf?

No, absolutely not. I hate even talking about the past as I'm totally focused on the one lady I love most in the world.

Even in my own personal time alone (having a peddle) I wouldn't think of anyone else but my OH.

*Page*

Ph3n0m wrote: »

This begs the question - would you brag about your past exploits to your current bf/gf?

From experience, I wouldnt want the details, etc. And since the movie was used as a reference point, I think its time to bust out the speech that would explain it all

I love chasing amy!

Hivemind187

Its amazing that these days people still have hang ups regarding sex and sexuality.

Frankly, if we stopped identifying ourselves by the badges of gay, straight, poly-amourists etc a lot of this nonsense would cease to matter.

I vote "find em as I find em" but thats probably more to do with being quietly grateful that I can get someone to sleep with me.

Stephen P

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

very true. no one likes someone who aint got a clue. nd just ly's there.
but i dont think anyone would want a girl who's slept with a couple of fella's in one night nd done sick shít.....

and as already said, ignorance is bliss! except they dont see it that way and go and fúckin tell ya!

Now if I found out she was one half of 2girls1cup I'd have serious issues with that!!

cance

stephen p wrote: »

Now if I found out she was one half of 2girls1cup I'd have serious issues with that!!

:eek:

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

RoyalMarine

*Page* wrote: »

the only thing i have requested from any partner before i have s€x(i dont do ramdomers) is to get an sti test.

the two of us go into gether and get tested. this way i can be safe and at ease with my partner. i dont care who they did it with or when or how many, all i care about is if they are clean and safe to do things with me.

some look on your face if his test was positive for somethin :P

We've both had adventerous sexual pasts...I've gotten over it I'm sure he has too.....

*Page*

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

some look on your face if his test was positive for somethin :P

if they gots something then i dont do them... more the look on there face than mine...

Hasn't happened yet and i seem to be in a fairly strong relationship*touch wood*

my reasons come from my mothers explaination of being with someone with a past...


"you are a virgin= 0
the person you deside to loose it to has slept with 2 people

you now =3
the two ppl they slept with both slept with 2 other ppl
you = 7
the 4 ppl also slept with other ppl
you = god knows how many...


you always get them tested before you find out 1 of those other people had something that you dont want!

Iago

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

but i dont think anyone would want a girl who's slept with a couple of fella's in one night nd done sick shít.....

so if you had the opportunity to sleep with two women in one night you'd turn it down?

if not why should it be any different for a future partner?

It's all about insecurity, if you have faith in yourself then it doesn't matter what your partner did or who they did it with in the past.

Of course it helps when you know you're incredible in bed, I guess I'm just lucky

arybvtcw0eolkf

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

We've both had adventerous sexual pasts...I've gotten over it I'm sure he has too.....

He's a man, I doubt it!.

Earthhorse

I dunno, why is sexual past any different to any other kind of past? If your partner told you they'd been in jail for burglarly would that change your view of them?

I think a person's past does influence how we see them though I agree that we should always try and deal with what's in front of us today, for better or worse.

LadyJ

I think that this is a problem which affects men in a more passionate way. Generally men get angry thinking about their girlfriend with another man. Women may not like to think about their boyfriend being with other women but usually it doesn't get us as worked up.

Men in general are more sexually territorial but women are usually more put out by their man having an intimate relationship/friendship with another woman.

RoyalMarine

Iago wrote: »

so if you had the opportunity to sleep with two women in one night you'd turn it down?

if not why should it be any different for a future partner?

It's all about insecurity, if you have faith in yourself then it doesn't matter what your partner did or who they did it with in the past.

Of course it helps when you know you're incredible in bed, I guess I'm just lucky

yeah id turn it down. its not what interests me.
but if i did do it, i wouldnt tell my next partner.

CountryWise

What would annoy me was if her past was more adventurous than mine, stupid and childish i know but just being honest!

Mairt

Mairt wrote: »

He's a man, I doubt it!.

No I wouldn't say so ...He was curious I think he found it was a turn on, I know I did with him ....:)

kraggy

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

No I wouldn't say so ...He was curious I think he found it was a turn on, I know I did with him ....:)

You found it a turn-on to hear about your partner's previous experiences?

SheroN

How could it be a turn on to hear that your GF has been rooted from behind while she was sucking another guy's c*ck?

arybvtcw0eolkf

SheroN wrote: »

How could it be a turn on to hear that your GF has been rooted from behind while she was sucking another guy's c*ck?

Jeeze you've just given me a stomping big horn

humbert

Depends on the girl and the relationship. If you're having a cute sensitive type relationship and you've got it in your head she's just that type of girl and you find something like that out it's going to make your head spin.

If she's experienced and confident then I don't think I'd care. I've talked to girlfriends about all sorts of stuff we've gotten up to in the past and not been slightly bothered.

Tbh the only time that sort of thing pisses me off is when the girl has done stuff because the guy coerced her into it or because she thought if was fashionable or some other similarly stupid reason.

gabgab

Thanks a million for all the replies lads, I threw it up cos it seemed to be getting a very one sided reaction over on that lads thread,

Insecure, deal with it, self esteem issues, etc etc,

I just wanted to get a general concensus on it from a few people,

Hopefully a lot more people will vote, but its panning out sortof the way I expected it to,

Hobbes

*Page* wrote: »

I love chasing amy!

It is pretty much the gospel on these sort of things.

RoyalMarine

SheroN wrote: »

How could it be a turn on to hear that your GF has been rooted from behind while she was sucking another guy's c*ck?

ah the old spittle roasting. i know many a girl who's done it, and since it happened, they cant find a long term boyfriend. mainly due to other people telling them what they did.

its a small country.
if your gonna do something like that, at least go abroad. not down the road.

Dudess

Many of those guys who get upset about their girlfriends' past would have no problem being part of a threesome if they were single and would have no problem shagging a "slut" either. Some consistency would be nice.

But as Silent Bob points out, it's not because they're disgusted at the behaviour, rather it's because they feel sexually inadequate.

Also, "spit-roasting", literally comparing a woman to a piece of meat, is a vile term.
"Fingercuffing" is better!

stovelid

SheroN wrote: »

How could it be a turn on to hear that your GF has been rooted from behind while she was sucking another guy's c*ck?

Could well be.

Strap-on or genuine root?

RoyalMarine

Dudess wrote: »

Also, "spit-roasting", literally comparing a woman to a piece of meat, is a vile term.
"Fingercuffing" is better!

vile term it might be, but what respect should a girl that has done it deserve?

fingercuffing lolled

humbert

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

vile term it might be, but what respect should a girl that has done it deserve?

Or indeed any slut that has had sex outside of matrimony :rolleyes:

gabgab

A few more votes would not go astray,

Earthhorse

I'm not gonna vote because I don't think there's an option there that reflects my opinion. It's all contextual anyway and no one can really say how they'd act until it happened to them.

ScumLord

I don't know, if I found out my girlfriend got spit roasted on two separate occasions I don't think I could look at her the same way ever again I'd just be thinking in the back of my mind "you dirty whore". It could have something to do with the type of men that would get into bed together to spit roast one girl as well. God knows what else they've been up to and passed onto her.

If she was with two girls I'd be thinking "you dirty whore" but in a good way.

Andy-Pandy

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

vile term it might be, but what respect should a girl that has done it deserve.

Why would you respect someless for it?

Group sex is fun, i've done it before and everyone who has been involved has had a great time with no hangups later on. Im single at them moment but if i had a girlfriend id have no problems doing it again with her, if of course, she approved. Differant strokes for differant folkes i suppose (excuse the pun).

Rob_l

The only problem I would have with sexual history is possible diseased former mates or if she wanst to talk about it neither of those are kosher

RoyalMarine

Andy-Pandy wrote: »

Why would you respect someless for it?

Group sex is fun, i've done it before and everyone who has been involved has had a great time with no hangups later on. Im single at them moment but if i had a girlfriend id have no problems doing it again with her, if of course, she approved. Differant strokes for differant folkes i suppose (excuse the pun).

ok, sounds great as long as both of you agree to it.

how would you feel if you found out a girl you were really into did it in her past.
would you really want to know?

MattKid

Past experience makes us who we are today, so if I fell in love with a girl then her past no matter what it is has helped mould her into the girl I am in love with.

That being said I probably not want to know the details from her unless it was likely someone else would tell me, then I'd rather she explained things to me.

Ph3n0m

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

ok, sounds great as long as both of you agree to it.

how would you feel if you found out a girl you were really into did it in her past.
would you really want to know?

I think that has been answered - why would you need to know?

But tbh, for me, and with my current gf, I dont give a **** what she did before she met me. Why get worked up over something you werent involved in? Or could possibly even change.

Andy-Pandy

RoyalMarineComm wrote: »

ok, sounds great as long as both of you agree to it.

how would you feel if you found out a girl you were really into did it in her past.
would you really want to know?

Yea ,why not. I cant very well have done something in my past and then get upset if i found out my girlfriend had done the same. TBH id find it a turn on, im not a prude when it comes to sex.

SheroN

But tbh, for me, and with my current gf, I dont give a **** what she did before she met me. Why get worked up over something you werent involved in? Or could possibly even change.

I don't know how you can say that.

Imagine some lad standing behind her huffing and puffing away all the while she's sucking on some lad's co*k before he blows his load on her face.

Thinking about that doesn't bother you in the slightest?

Andy-Pandy

SheroN wrote: »

I don't know how you can say that.

Imagine some lad standing behind her huffing and puffing away all the while she's sucking on some lad's co*k before he blows his load on her face.

Thinking about that doesn't bother you in the slightest?

TBH I think scenes like that are purely imaginary, and only happen in the realm of pornos.

humbert

SheroN wrote: »

I don't know how you can say that.

Imagine some lad standing behind her huffing and puffing away all the while she's sucking on some lad's co*k before he blows his load on her face.

Thinking about that doesn't bother you in the slightest?

Ok, assuming you're a guy, say it comes up in conversation that one of your friends jerks off, do you start imagining him at it in such detail? Or if a friend says he or she's going for a dump? Not very pleasant. So why, when a gf says she's had a threesome, would you torture yourself imagining it in such detail?

SheroN

Because I'm not going out with my friends.