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Is it O.K. to give cash as a wedding present?

  • 19-11-2007 11:19AM
    #1
    Wombatman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,349 ✭✭✭


    If so, how much? :confused:


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,280 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    Wombatman wrote: »
    If so, how much? :confused:

    Yes - asked and answered several times in the weddings / marriage forum


  • #3
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Not a PI. Moved to Weddings & Marriage

    dudara


  • #4
    Dub13
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 21,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dub13


    You would get a better response in the Weddings & Marriage forum.


  • #5
    echosound
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 773 ✭✭✭echosound


    yes, it's normally ok, and the amount depends on how much you want or are able to give!

    Among my group of friends, it'd normally be about 200 per couple (ie you plus your guest/partner, 100 each) although I have heard of MUCH higher amounts (500 - 1k) and lower also (50-100). Depends on your circumstances too - if you're a student or whatnot, people understand you won't have hundreds to be throwing about, if however you're pretty well off and don't mind the expense, or if the couple are very close to you (sibling or such) you'd probably do better to give a slightly larger sum.

    Check beforehand though if you can through the mother/father of the bride or groom, if they have a wedding list for example, some couples do this and it might be easier for you to pick something off this, knowing what they want. Cash is fine IMO though, and would be the norm among my circle of friends as most couples are living together before getting married anyway so have no need of the usual toaster/kettle gift set :-)


  • #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 11,928 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    1k! Assuming that this wasn't immediate family, I think your average couple would that embarrasingly generous.


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  • #7
    How Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,337 ✭✭✭How Strange


    I would've said €150 for a couple. Does that make me mean?


  • #8
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    ^ That is plenty in my opinion.


  • #9
    Smiley101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39 ✭Smiley101


    Cash or a present is fine.....€100 - €200 anymore is way too much.....enough to cover the cost of the meal and maybe a little bit more.


  • #10
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    €100-200 per couple is fine unless you're a sibling/child/parent of the couple.

    Many (if not most) people prefer money these days. It's generally accepted now that when you go to a wedding, your gift essentially pays for your seat.

    I have heard of some people writing on invitations "Cash only gifts over €100 please". :eek:

    I think I'd buy that kind of person a cheap silverware set just to piss them off.


  • #11
    Dub13
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 21,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dub13


    seamus wrote: »
    I have heard of some people writing on invitations "Cash only gifts over €100 please". :eek:

    Thats crazy some neck.

    Has anybody ever been to a wedding were they give out these lists that you have to buy a present from the list...?


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  • #12
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,280 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    Dub13 wrote: »
    Thats crazy some neck.

    Has anybody ever been to a wedding were they give out these lists that you have to buy a present from the list...?

    A wedding list is very normal, and a lot of guests prefer it as they don't like giving cash, but don't know exactly what to get. You don't have to buy from it, but believe it or not, it's a lot easier for all the parties involved.

    I've heard stories of the "cash gifts over x amount", but not actually met anyone who has received such an invite themselves. I'm sure it happens, but I doubt it's too common at all.


  • #13
    pretty-in-pink
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭pretty-in-pink


    I would get a presi that they wouldn't have, but would like, or some nice crysle or something. I've not been to many weddings though. When I get married I'd prefer presis


  • #14
    whosedaddy?
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭whosedaddy?


    Some people prefer cash over getting stuff they don't want and return/regift.

    I don't think any couple in this day and age is offended getting cash. If you think a proper gift might be better - then get it and include a (gift) receipt from the shop.... that way it can be easily returned.

    The reason I didn't go with Wedding list was I didn't want to support the outragesly overpriced shops in Dublin...

    So we kindly asked our guests for cash contributions (without any minimum amount) - but we knew there will be plenty that feel more comfortable giving you something else. But thats ok too.
    Unless its one of those engraved crystal clocks for the mantle piece. :eek:


  • #15
    Mr Magnolia
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,450 Mod ✭✭✭✭Mr Magnolia


    seamus wrote: »
    I have heard of some people writing on invitations "Cash only gifts over €100 please". :eek:

    I think I'd buy that kind of person a cheap silverware set just to piss them off.

    Some people... I'd do something similar.

    Depends on the relationship OP.


  • #16
    yom 1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,263 ✭✭✭yom 1


    A friend of mine went to a wedding during the summer and the invitation had the couples bank details on it so people could make lodgements to it, which I thought was completely taking the pi$$.


  • #17
    Dub13
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 21,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dub13


    yom 1 wrote: »
    A friend of mine went to a wedding during the summer and the invitation had the couples bank details on it so people could make lodgements to it, which I thought was completely taking the pi$$.

    LOL...they have balls.


  • #18
    DO0GLE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 109 ✭✭DO0GLE


    If anyone told me they wanted a specific present or money, I'd be insulted.....just think that if you're getting married , presents/money from your friends and family should be the last thing on your mind. Some people are incredibly selfish and have a cheek.

    If someone sent me an invitation with 'Cash Gifts' on it, I wouldn't attend.


  • #19
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,173 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    DO0GLE wrote: »
    If someone sent me an invitation with 'Cash Gifts' on it, I wouldn't attend.
    What would you think of something along the lines of "All gifts are appreciated, but if you wish to give us something, cash would be preferred"?


  • #20
    quickstitch.ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 110 ✭✭quickstitch.ie


    Going on the assumption that a meal per person is going to be in and around 50 quid I'd think you'd have to give 200 per couple to give any sort or present worth while... if it was a closer friend would probably up it 50-100 imo.

    I think these days most people tend to already be set up in a house or an apartment before getting married, so traditional cutlery, delph, and crystal sets could be wasted on them. I imagine the majority of newlyweds would perfer the cash tbh, and usually tend to send the word out discreetly through friends.

    A recent wedding I was at had asked for donations to a holiday fund to oz for the couple which had been set up for them, I thought it was a good idea actually... They'd been living together for a few years and didn't need anything else...


  • #21
    daiixi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭daiixi


    Tbh if a couple want an over the top expensive wedding in order to show off then that's their problem. A present is a present, it's not a way to recoup your losses or make a profit. Nowadays with people living out of home it's understandable that cash would be preferred over presents. Give whatever you think is reasonable. If they don't appreciate your gift then they're probably not your friend and who gives a **** what they think anyway?


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  • #22
    dame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭dame


    daiixi wrote: »
    Tbh if a couple want an over the top expensive wedding in order to show off then that's their problem. A present is a present, it's not a way to recoup your losses or make a profit. Nowadays with people living out of home it's understandable that cash would be preferred over presents. Give whatever you think is reasonable. If they don't appreciate your gift then they're probably not your friend and who gives a **** what they think anyway?

    Well said daiixi!


  • #23
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,280 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    daiixi wrote: »
    Tbh if a couple want an over the top expensive wedding in order to show off then that's their problem. A present is a present, it's not a way to recoup your losses or make a profit. Nowadays with people living out of home it's understandable that cash would be preferred over presents. Give whatever you think is reasonable. If they don't appreciate your gift then they're probably not your friend and who gives a **** what they think anyway?

    You know what - I have yet to hear one couple I know talk about "recouping" costs or even make any comments on what gifts they got, bar to say how generous people have been. What pisses me off is hearing people talk about how expensive it is to attend a wedding; now that's sheer ignorance.

    It's not a case of showing off either - fair enough if it's not for you, but try and not pass those kind of comments.


  • #24
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    eoin_s wrote: »
    You know what - I have yet to hear one couple I know talk about "recouping" costs or even make any comments on what gifts they got, bar to say how generous people have been.

    I have, quite a few of them in fact. And there have been several people getting married or recently married on boards making those types of comments too.


  • #25
    daiixi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,349 ✭✭✭daiixi


    Fabulous eoin_s. Maybe you actually have decent friends who are out to celebrate and have a good time with their friends. Read back through some of the other threads in this forum and you'll realise that there are plenty of people who are out to recoup their losses and out-do each other.

    And as this is a board which asks for the opinions of others, I'll continue to pass off whatever kind of comment and opinion I like, thank you.


  • #26
    Eoin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,280 ✭✭✭✭Eoin


    I haven't seen these threads, but could have missed them - all I've seen is threads like this asking how much to give, and working out the cost of the dinner and all that stuff - but not brides or grooms to be talking about recouping costs.


  • #27
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    eoin_s wrote: »
    I haven't seen these threads, but could have missed them - all I've seen is threads like this asking how much to give, and working out the cost of the dinner and all that stuff - but not brides or grooms to be talking about recouping costs.

    Aaahh, but I have to read them all.;)

    It's good that none of your friends are like this, I'd imagine very few of my husband's friends think like this, but I have a some who do. It might sound awful but I can't look at people in the same way after sitting through a pre-wedding discussion on how much they expect to get in gifts and how it'll pay for the wedding. One old friend of mine used their house deposit on the wedding, reasoning that they'd make it back. They didn't and now have a 100% mortgage.


  • #28
    pretty-in-pink
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭pretty-in-pink


    I don't know anyone who looked for cash or had a gift list thing. I've heard its becomming more common though


  • #29
    lucyburn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 171 ✭✭lucyburn


    My boyfriend and i went to three weddings this summer and for each wedding we gave 200 euro between each other, which i think is pretty fair.


  • #30
    gillyfromlyre
    Closed Accounts Posts: 228 ✭✭gillyfromlyre


    We handed out 250 during the summer,didnt even like the pair of gibbons, has to be done Im afraid, as far as we observed that was the done thing, cash presents


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  • #31
    embee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,890 ✭✭✭embee


    yom 1 wrote: »
    A friend of mine went to a wedding during the summer and the invitation had the couples bank details on it so people could make lodgements to it, which I thought was completely taking the pi$$.

    That is widely done on the continent. Have heard of wedding invites in Spain having the account number and sort code printed on the back.

    To be honest, if I was getting married, I'd prefer cash to a gift. Its sometimes pretty hard to know what a couples tastes are, and buying a gift is very hard to do, even with wedding lists.


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