Is it O.K. to give cash as a wedding present?

Wombatman

If so, how much?

Eoin

Wombatman wrote: »

If so, how much?

Yes - asked and answered several times in the weddings / marriage forum

dudara

Not a PI. Moved to Weddings & Marriage

dudara

Dub13

You would get a better response in the Weddings & Marriage forum.

echosound

yes, it's normally ok, and the amount depends on how much you want or are able to give!

Among my group of friends, it'd normally be about 200 per couple (ie you plus your guest/partner, 100 each) although I have heard of MUCH higher amounts (500 - 1k) and lower also (50-100). Depends on your circumstances too - if you're a student or whatnot, people understand you won't have hundreds to be throwing about, if however you're pretty well off and don't mind the expense, or if the couple are very close to you (sibling or such) you'd probably do better to give a slightly larger sum.

Check beforehand though if you can through the mother/father of the bride or groom, if they have a wedding list for example, some couples do this and it might be easier for you to pick something off this, knowing what they want. Cash is fine IMO though, and would be the norm among my circle of friends as most couples are living together before getting married anyway so have no need of the usual toaster/kettle gift set :-)

1k! Assuming that this wasn't immediate family, I think your average couple would that embarrasingly generous.

How Strange

I would've said €150 for a couple. Does that make me mean?

Ruu_Old

^ That is plenty in my opinion.

Smiley101

Cash or a present is fine.....€100 - €200 anymore is way too much.....enough to cover the cost of the meal and maybe a little bit more.

seamus

€100-200 per couple is fine unless you're a sibling/child/parent of the couple.

Many (if not most) people prefer money these days. It's generally accepted now that when you go to a wedding, your gift essentially pays for your seat.

I have heard of some people writing on invitations "Cash only gifts over €100 please". :eek:

I think I'd buy that kind of person a cheap silverware set just to piss them off.

Dub13

seamus wrote: »

I have heard of some people writing on invitations "Cash only gifts over €100 please". :eek:

Thats crazy some neck.

Has anybody ever been to a wedding were they give out these lists that you have to buy a present from the list...?

Eoin

Dub13 wrote: »

Thats crazy some neck.

Has anybody ever been to a wedding were they give out these lists that you have to buy a present from the list...?

A wedding list is very normal, and a lot of guests prefer it as they don't like giving cash, but don't know exactly what to get. You don't have to buy from it, but believe it or not, it's a lot easier for all the parties involved.

I've heard stories of the "cash gifts over x amount", but not actually met anyone who has received such an invite themselves. I'm sure it happens, but I doubt it's too common at all.

pretty-in-pink

I would get a presi that they wouldn't have, but would like, or some nice crysle or something. I've not been to many weddings though. When I get married I'd prefer presis

whosedaddy?

Some people prefer cash over getting stuff they don't want and return/regift.

I don't think any couple in this day and age is offended getting cash. If you think a proper gift might be better - then get it and include a (gift) receipt from the shop.... that way it can be easily returned.

The reason I didn't go with Wedding list was I didn't want to support the outragesly overpriced shops in Dublin...

So we kindly asked our guests for cash contributions (without any minimum amount) - but we knew there will be plenty that feel more comfortable giving you something else. But thats ok too.
Unless its one of those engraved crystal clocks for the mantle piece. :eek:

Mr Magnolia

seamus wrote: »

I have heard of some people writing on invitations "Cash only gifts over €100 please". :eek:

I think I'd buy that kind of person a cheap silverware set just to piss them off.

Some people... I'd do something similar.

Depends on the relationship OP.

yom 1

A friend of mine went to a wedding during the summer and the invitation had the couples bank details on it so people could make lodgements to it, which I thought was completely taking the pi$$.

Dub13

yom 1 wrote: »

A friend of mine went to a wedding during the summer and the invitation had the couples bank details on it so people could make lodgements to it, which I thought was completely taking the pi$$.

LOL...they have balls.

DO0GLE

If anyone told me they wanted a specific present or money, I'd be insulted.....just think that if you're getting married , presents/money from your friends and family should be the last thing on your mind. Some people are incredibly selfish and have a cheek.

If someone sent me an invitation with 'Cash Gifts' on it, I wouldn't attend.

seamus

DO0GLE wrote: »

If someone sent me an invitation with 'Cash Gifts' on it, I wouldn't attend.

What would you think of something along the lines of "All gifts are appreciated, but if you wish to give us something, cash would be preferred"?

quickstitch.ie

Going on the assumption that a meal per person is going to be in and around 50 quid I'd think you'd have to give 200 per couple to give any sort or present worth while... if it was a closer friend would probably up it 50-100 imo.

I think these days most people tend to already be set up in a house or an apartment before getting married, so traditional cutlery, delph, and crystal sets could be wasted on them. I imagine the majority of newlyweds would perfer the cash tbh, and usually tend to send the word out discreetly through friends.

A recent wedding I was at had asked for donations to a holiday fund to oz for the couple which had been set up for them, I thought it was a good idea actually... They'd been living together for a few years and didn't need anything else...

daiixi

Tbh if a couple want an over the top expensive wedding in order to show off then that's their problem. A present is a present, it's not a way to recoup your losses or make a profit. Nowadays with people living out of home it's understandable that cash would be preferred over presents. Give whatever you think is reasonable. If they don't appreciate your gift then they're probably not your friend and who gives a **** what they think anyway?

dame

daiixi wrote: »

Tbh if a couple want an over the top expensive wedding in order to show off then that's their problem. A present is a present, it's not a way to recoup your losses or make a profit. Nowadays with people living out of home it's understandable that cash would be preferred over presents. Give whatever you think is reasonable. If they don't appreciate your gift then they're probably not your friend and who gives a **** what they think anyway?

Well said daiixi!

Eoin

daiixi wrote: »

Tbh if a couple want an over the top expensive wedding in order to show off then that's their problem. A present is a present, it's not a way to recoup your losses or make a profit. Nowadays with people living out of home it's understandable that cash would be preferred over presents. Give whatever you think is reasonable. If they don't appreciate your gift then they're probably not your friend and who gives a **** what they think anyway?

You know what - I have yet to hear one couple I know talk about "recouping" costs or even make any comments on what gifts they got, bar to say how generous people have been. What pisses me off is hearing people talk about how expensive it is to attend a wedding; now that's sheer ignorance.

It's not a case of showing off either - fair enough if it's not for you, but try and not pass those kind of comments.

iguana

eoin_s wrote: »

You know what - I have yet to hear one couple I know talk about "recouping" costs or even make any comments on what gifts they got, bar to say how generous people have been.

I have, quite a few of them in fact. And there have been several people getting married or recently married on boards making those types of comments too.

daiixi

Fabulous eoin_s. Maybe you actually have decent friends who are out to celebrate and have a good time with their friends. Read back through some of the other threads in this forum and you'll realise that there are plenty of people who are out to recoup their losses and out-do each other.

And as this is a board which asks for the opinions of others, I'll continue to pass off whatever kind of comment and opinion I like, thank you.

Eoin

I haven't seen these threads, but could have missed them - all I've seen is threads like this asking how much to give, and working out the cost of the dinner and all that stuff - but not brides or grooms to be talking about recouping costs.

iguana

eoin_s wrote: »

I haven't seen these threads, but could have missed them - all I've seen is threads like this asking how much to give, and working out the cost of the dinner and all that stuff - but not brides or grooms to be talking about recouping costs.

Aaahh, but I have to read them all.;)

It's good that none of your friends are like this, I'd imagine very few of my husband's friends think like this, but I have a some who do. It might sound awful but I can't look at people in the same way after sitting through a pre-wedding discussion on how much they expect to get in gifts and how it'll pay for the wedding. One old friend of mine used their house deposit on the wedding, reasoning that they'd make it back. They didn't and now have a 100% mortgage.

pretty-in-pink

I don't know anyone who looked for cash or had a gift list thing. I've heard its becomming more common though

lucyburn

My boyfriend and i went to three weddings this summer and for each wedding we gave 200 euro between each other, which i think is pretty fair.

gillyfromlyre

We handed out 250 during the summer,didnt even like the pair of gibbons, has to be done Im afraid, as far as we observed that was the done thing, cash presents

embee

yom 1 wrote: »

A friend of mine went to a wedding during the summer and the invitation had the couples bank details on it so people could make lodgements to it, which I thought was completely taking the pi$$.

That is widely done on the continent. Have heard of wedding invites in Spain having the account number and sort code printed on the back.

To be honest, if I was getting married, I'd prefer cash to a gift. Its sometimes pretty hard to know what a couples tastes are, and buying a gift is very hard to do, even with wedding lists.

BC

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

I don't know anyone who looked for cash or had a gift list thing. I've heard its becomming more common though

Wedding lists are very common. I definately prefer them as it takes the hassle out of trying to figure out what to buy. I've attended about 6 weddings in the last 2 years and all of the couples have already been living together for quite a while so buying stuff like crystal or house presents is difficult because you don't know what they already have.

None of my friends ever included the list with the invitiation though, they never mentioned presents but if people asked what they would like they said they had a list.

Muller_magic

I would say deffo give cash. After all the wedding costs a fair bit so couples will be more than happy with something to bring on the honeymoon etc.
Think the going rate these days is 200 per couple.

The Novacastrian

I think we should up it to 500 for next June, or maybe even more;)

clawsthefirst

So what's the going rate if you're just going to the reception part of a wedding? Very good friend is having immediate family only to the wedding part and then having a reception the next day for friends. So how much wouldn't be a mean amount?

eve

clawsthefirst wrote: »

So what's the going rate if you're just going to the reception part of a wedding? Very good friend is having immediate family only to the wedding part and then having a reception the next day for friends. So how much wouldn't be a mean amount?

Are you still going to the main reception (the bit with the food and speeches-generally the most expensive part)?

clawsthefirst

No- it's basically a party like a 21st that they're throwing the next day after the nuptuals have taken place.

eve

Not sure in that case. Going rate if you were going to the reception would be 100 (per person) but I won't give that much if it was just a party the following day. Maybe 50?

clawsthefirst

Yeah that's what I was thinking- thanks!

AL][EN

I'll agree with most of the posters here usually around 100 euro mark depending on circumstances is more than enough.

I'm getting married myself next year and as far as im concerned im just happy my family and close friends will be there to see it. I'd be of the opinion that cash or presents would be fine. Were not asking for "cash only" gifts or if you've ever played world of warcraft (a need before greed wedding) Though i do know a friend of my family asked their guests "cash only please 100 euro or more" which i dont agree with.

Personally speaking I would like cash. The reason being i live my fiancee in a small 4 ROOM council house, one of which is the bathroom. We wouldnt have space to put all the presents if every person got us presents, Plus i have a young boy that my wife to be stays at home and looks after. She works part time at night and i work full time during the day. The money would be extremly helpful.

Weddings are extremely costly things. Something i've learn't over the last 6-8 months of planning. I understand that not everybody feels the same way and i wouldnt demand people for money its not right. But in certian situations like mine money as a gift is VERY useful it will help us greatly towards the great cost of the wedding.

clawsthefirst

If I was informed that I had to pay a certain amount to go to a wedding I'd rip up the invite and give out endlessly about the couple involved! Having said that I usually do give cash gifts, a friend who recently got hitched was bemoaning the fact that she's now the proud owner of 4 cut glass bowls however she can't afford to buy a table to put any of them on!

liz T

Cash gifts are definitely a good idea, I am getting married next year and have my own house which is not finished, instead of finishing the kitchen we are going to get married because that is more important. I am not going to ask for cash gifts bacause that is too cheeky but everyone knows our situation so hopefully they will cop on to what we really need.