Why soaps are stupidly unrealistic

indough · 12-10-2007 03:43PM

All those awful, long, deep and meaningful speeches that people make in conversation, even though noone talks that way in real life situations

People shout the odds and air all of their private matters in front of all their neighbours, usually in the pub

Everyone in soaps are alcoholics, they all seem to gather down the pub at least once a day

Apparently now in the east end of london people look down their nose at criminals even though its the most notorious area in london for organized crime, and despite the fact that half of the characters in the show have been banged up in the past

Fighting Irish · 12-10-2007 04:08PM

ruskin wrote: »

The barmaid at the bar will automatically know what beer a stranger wants when they order a pint.

Likewise, people only drink cans of generic brand 'beer' or 'cola'

Everyone works in the same street in which they live

You can only go out with someone if they are from the same street/ area as you.

If a person conceals something from their partner etc. it will always be exposed.

You cannot see through the windows in your house.

In coronation street, when a character wants their car, it is outside their house, when they dont want it, it is not there. Magic.

any more?

Looks like you watch too much of these stupidly unrealistic soaps

watna · 12-10-2007 07:00PM

When somebody really important to you dies, you'll be sad for about two weeks and then you'll miraculously get over it and be fine, never mentioning the person again. I don't watch soaps now but back in the day I watched neighbours. Toadie got married to some blonde chick, just after their wedding drove off a cliff into the sea, he ecaped but they never found her. He was angry and then sad for about 4 weeks tops and then he got over it, magically moved on and completely forgot about her. If that had happened in real life, you'd never get over it, especially not in 4 weeks!

ruskin · 12-10-2007 07:05PM

People say "I slept with her/him" instead of "I xxxxed her up the ass"

People often discuss their 'feelings' and what their 'heart tells them"

Xavi6 · 12-10-2007 07:11PM

Characters can return from the dead. Remember Harold Bishop falling to his 'death' from a cliff? Turned up a few years later, alive and well, with just a touch of amnesia which quickly disappeared and he shacked up with Madge again as if nothing ever happened. Magic.

How many actors also just generally leave but then return when the better career they were seeking goes tits up?

Also in Aussie soapland it is ok to fancy underagers because they were put onscreen for that purpose.

phasers · 12-10-2007 07:44PM

streets are always empty when a dramatic event is unfolding, then immdiately fills up with neighbours

Streets are NEVER empty

and for some reason Talking through gritted teeth = instant anger

jos28 · 12-10-2007 08:27PM

People in soapland can put an offer on a house/ business/pub, and 2 days later they've moved in. Not a solicitor/ surveyor/mortgage broker in sight. Just hand over the keys and that's it.

12-10-2007 08:50PM

3greenrizla's wrote:

I always find it funny though when you never have a funeral without someone dying

Well that is the point...

nlgbbbblth · 12-10-2007 11:47PM

Some soaps are set in ficticious areas of real cities i.e.
Weatherfield [Manchester]
Walford [London]
Carrigstown [Dublin]

So they're f*cked from the start.

Other annoyances
Stag parties held the night before the wedding. Nobody does that anymore.

Tinytony · 13-10-2007 01:48AM

If you live in Summerbay you will not have the luxury of having both your parents around. Ever.

AlmightyCushion · 13-10-2007 01:49AM

Nobody ever watches the news.

unreggd · 13-10-2007 03:51AM

If someone gets married, everyone from the town/area is there, but no other relatives [aunts, uncles, cousins, friends etc]

Someone dies at Christmas almost every year, yet everyone is still surprised

Theres always a bar, cafe and some workplace

gamer · 13-10-2007 01:08PM

AN average looking bloke who,s married has affairs with 5 women from a half mile area ,and his friends ,neighbours still respect him and treat him as they did when he was first married.A 50 YEAR old man can have an affair with a beautiful 20 year old woman.Thats not very realistic.

aidan24326 · 13-10-2007 01:10PM

Tinytony wrote: »

If you live in Summerbay you will not have the luxury of having both your parents around. Ever.

It was the same in Heartbreak High, hardly a parent to be seen. What is it about Australia and nobody having any parents?

Also does anyone else find it remarkable that Phil Mitchell always seems to have rolls of money even when he's not doing a whole lot workwise? (which in fairness is most of the time) Needs a few grand in a hurry, no bother, just pulls the bundle of cash out of his pocket like a rabbit out of a fcukin hat.

_blank_ · 13-10-2007 02:00PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Nobody ever watches the news.

No, but they listen to it on the radio if something like a missing boat or plane crash has happened involving the characters.

Latchy · 13-10-2007 02:34PM

Considering the amount of time spent in the pubs nobodys an alcohloic (except phil mitchel )

Muff_Daddy · 13-10-2007 03:09PM

World current events are never spoken about.

Nobody on eastenders says "Did you catch Corrie last night" or visa versa.

If Spandu Ballet played on the Vic jukebox around 1998-2000, nobody would cop that the person singing the song was actually there!

Nala · 13-10-2007 06:22PM

Pets are only tended to every few weeks if ever. Girls' makeup never fades (even after surfing in Summer Bay) and their hair is always perfect.

hiscan · 13-10-2007 07:17PM

thers always a song playing on the radio or jukebox that has something to do with the storyline at that very moment

aidan_walsh · 13-10-2007 11:37PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Nobody ever watches the news.

Ah now, I seem to recall Brian Dobson or whoever it was at the time having a few appearances on Glenroe...

As for generic drinks, good bar staff always know what their regulars drink.

And the rest, its just television lads... [harry_enfield]Calm down, calm down[/harry_enfield]

Why soaps are stupidly unrealistic

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