Why soaps are stupidly unrealistic

ruskin · 11-10-2007 09:10PM #1

The barmaid at the bar will automatically know what beer a stranger wants when they order a pint.

Likewise, people only drink cans of generic brand 'beer' or 'cola'

Everyone works in the same street in which they live

You can only go out with someone if they are from the same street/ area as you.

If a person conceals something from their partner etc. it will always be exposed.

You cannot see through the windows in your house.

In coronation street, when a character wants their car, it is outside their house, when they dont want it, it is not there. Magic.

any more?

cashback · 11-10-2007 09:42PM

Yes, it's always driven me mad when they walk into the Rovers and order two pints of lager. What bloody kind?!
And you can have a conversation at normal volume in the next room without a chance that the person in the next room can hear you. Even if the door is wide open.

KdjaCL · 11-10-2007 09:44PM

In England bars are owned by breweries so ordering lager gets you the brewers most marketted.

hail Engerland!

kdjac

Pighead · 11-10-2007 09:45PM

In soapland they expect Pighead to believe that an ugly fcuker like Andy Sugden can pull a minx like Katie Addyman. Not a chance.

http://www.emmerdale.org/emmerdale/news/20may2003/andykatie.jpg

3greenrizla's · 11-10-2007 09:52PM

I once heard that there is a higher mortality rate in albert sq than there is in Baghdad, i am not sure how true it is but it is what I heard.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 11-10-2007 09:53PM

i'd.... doubt that

JoeSchmoe · 11-10-2007 09:55PM

after moving into an area, you will instantly forget all your old friends and family, never speaking of them or contacting tham again, ,unless of course they come to live with you

philstar · 11-10-2007 09:56PM

Pighead wrote: »

In soapland they expect Pighead to believe that an ugly fcuker like Andy Sugden can pull a minx like Katie Addyman. Not a chance.

http://www.emmerdale.org/emmerdale/news/20may2003/andykatie.jpg

aussie soaps should be banned.........they're god awful:(

_blank_ · 11-10-2007 09:57PM

philstar wrote: »

aussie soaps should be banned.........they're god awful:(

Emmerale Farm isn't an Aussie soap.

3greenrizla's · 11-10-2007 09:58PM

yeah google is not bringing up anything to be fair,

I always find it funny though when you never have a funeral without someone dying, or landing in hospital.

& poeple cant have a drink infront of a mirror without throwing a bottle at it.

Dun laoire · 11-10-2007 10:01PM

Young Lorcan never went sleeping with the fishes

admiralofthefleet · 11-10-2007 10:04PM

and the second you arrive in town or on' street you get a job and a bird in a matter of hours. and people who dont speak at first always have something sneaky about them

Tha Gopher · 11-10-2007 10:50PM

Nobody swears
Nobody watches football bar during tournaments.
Pubs dont show sport. Or even have a tv. Or a pool table. Or live music or DJ. Or pretty much anything that would attract people to the place bar alcohol.
The Rovers must be the only pub in inner city Manchester where a transexual can be a regular and gay lads can go on a date, all without a word said or a glassing carried out.
Most shows/streets only have one alcoholic character
We are led to believe that these streets in East London and inner Manchester with maybe 60 characters only contain maybe 3 or 4 dodgy geezer types. And even most of them are likeable clown types rather than gutter skangers.
City cab firms manage to run on three vechicles and 5 staff. All of whom live within 80 ft of the cab office.
Children dont say a whole pile until they turn 12. Then, oh they get fierce into the drugs and pregnancy.
Workplaces allow staff to go drinking at breaktime (if only)
People more often end up getting their rocks with someone they hate during a heated arguement when they suddenly start kissing, than they do actually chasing after someone they like.

ruskin · 11-10-2007 11:09PM

Yea, I forgot that in soapland that at about 12 or 13 your child will be abducted and replaced with a new child. You the parent will not suspect a thing.

The internal layout of your house or workplace can change overnight. Stairs, doors and windows can all be moved without any input from a builder or architect.

If you are in a pub, although you and your company talk loudly, the other drinkers mumble to each other quietly

No matter what horrible thing a person does, the response is "HE'D WANT STRINGING UP HE DOES!

In Fairly S..hitty, the writers somehow consider it relevant to periodically concoct stories of murder and crime around characters who are completely new with no connections to the existing stories

In Home and Away it is NEVER a good idea to drive a car, go into the bush or hang around anywhere near a quarry or cliff.

Any rescue operation will always be led by Alf Stewart

Any female moving into the Bay cannot be aged over 25

ruskin · 11-10-2007 11:11PM

Likewise in Home and Away, all the classes in the school are taught in that one classroom, and all patients in the hospital are kept in that one bedroom

_blank_ · 11-10-2007 11:16PM

ruskin wrote: »

The internal layout of your house or workplace can change overnight. Stairs, doors and windows can all be moved without any input from a builder or architect.

Actually.

Neighbours is filmed on a real street, in Melbourne. Pin Oak Court.

Here's a picture of me and some friends there last year. Me in the Gap T-shirt:o

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a256/desfeeney/Neighbours/IMG_2163.jpg

The people who live there have to ask permission from the TV company if they want to do anything to the outside of their premises.

One person painted their house without telling them, and they had to write it into the storyline.

Also, some British couple paid something like five times the market price value for a house in that part of Melbourne, just so they could say they live in Ramsay Street.

philcsl · 11-10-2007 11:51PM

Everybody has to get married at least 2 or 3 times and no wedding goes uninterrupted!!

KdjaCL · 11-10-2007 11:52PM

DesF wrote: »

Actually.

Neighbours is filmed on a real street, in Melbourne. Pin Oak Court.

Here's a picture of me and some friends there last year. Me in the Gap T-shirt:o

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a256/desfeeney/Neighbours/IMG_2163.jpg

The people who live there have to ask permission from the TV company if they want to do anything to the outside of their premises.

One person painted their house without telling them, and they had to write it into the storyline.

Also, some British couple paid something like five times the market price value for a house in that part of Melbourne, just so they could say they live in Ramsay Street.

fascinating.

kdjac

macfran · 12-10-2007 12:10AM

In Fairly S..hitty, the writers somehow consider it relevant to periodically concoct stories of murder and crime around characters who are completely new with no connections to the existing stories

I agree with you but I think the present Pierce and Cleo storyline is very good with great acting by the two young players.

I wish Leo would go missing to find Lana and send her back alone.

]

Agamemnon · 12-10-2007 12:22AM

When a male character becomes an alcoholic/gets divorced/suffers a bereavement, he will lose the ability to shave until he gets over it, 10 days later.

Mint Sauce · 12-10-2007 12:48AM

dr carl kennady is the only doctor in neighbours, even in the hospital, he seems to be the only one

biko · 12-10-2007 01:17AM

People die weirdly, like Dr Drake Ramore in Days of our Lives fell down a elevator shaft.

Unearthly · 12-10-2007 01:59AM

In Eastenders, no-one has their own washing machine

Red Hand · 12-10-2007 02:35AM

I often get in such a lather over soaps, like the op.

_feedback_ · 12-10-2007 09:43AM

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

I often get in such a lather over soaps, like the op.

**badum*tish !!

all disasterish things happen at night.

GhostInTheRuins · 12-10-2007 10:03AM

Children tend to grow up at about 5X the usual rate untill they turn 9 or 10

im_invisible · 12-10-2007 10:12AM

..and pregnancies only last 5 months, if that

r3nu4l · 12-10-2007 10:25AM

Tha Gopher wrote: »

Workplaces allow staff to go drinking at breaktime (if only)

Actually, most places over here do allow you go drinking at lunch-time, usually only for one, mind, or if it's a Friday and there's some sort of celebration, maybe two.

That was one of the first things I noticed when I started working in England. At first I thought it was a London thing only, then I started working in Cambridge and it's the same here.

Other unrealistic things you notice? Anyone can start a business without any problems whatsoever or any kind of startup cash. Apparently you just say that you're going to do it and it happens!

Cocaine and heroin addiction is easily sorted once the problem becomes apparent. A quick stint in rehab allows you to quit without any future cravings.

In soapland Newsagents don't have porn mags on the top shelf!

tbh · 12-10-2007 11:01AM

every house will have at least one person who is not part of the family living there.

Long lost relations will never announce themselves, they will always be integrated into the community via a series of conincidences and assumptions, meaning that when they finally reveal their true identity, it's kerfuffle city.

Everyone will have at LEAST one long long relation, usually sibling or child, that they never thought to mention.

Whenever Character A has to break bad news to Character B, Character B will usually start the conversation by saying something along the lines of "I've never been so happy, and you know why? it's because <insert what the bad news is> hasn't happened. It's great. Was there something you wanted to tell me?"

dade · 12-10-2007 02:15PM

DesF wrote: »

Actually.

The people who live there have to ask permission from the TV company if they want to do anything to the outside of their premises.

.

and there's a waiting list years long to buy there IIRC

Latchy · 12-10-2007 02:30PM

Eastenders , how could any group of people live so much clustered lives is byond me ? people die and are quickly forgotten ? ...also in the aussie soaps and dawsons creek , everybody lives such clean domesticated lives , as if they have all being doused with a botle of disenfectant before each shoot ......probley have as well , but they babes in all these soaps are cute

Why soaps are stupidly unrealistic

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