Murder me!

Mr. Presentable · 2007-09-22 14:48:04

I imagine killing a total stranger would be easy to get away with because there'd be nothing to connect you to him. But suppose I am your employer, or a close relative, how would you kill me and evade prosecution?

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#32 23-09-2007 05:32PM

Capt'n Midnight

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Drive over them in a car. In our car based society it's probably the most socially acceptable way to kill someone.

Have a naggin of whiskey ready in case you get caught so you can blame it on the deamon drink instead of being done for premediated murder.

Worst case, you loose your driving license and do a year in prison.

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#33 23-09-2007 06:26PM

Crumble Froo

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better yet... spike someone else's drink so they dont remember hte night, use their car to run the target over, just wear a similar hoody, avoid facing cctv, and try get yourself seen all sober and innocent like.

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#34 23-09-2007 06:31PM

Wossack

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impale them with a spear made of frozen urine

a passing airplane will me made to blame

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#35 23-09-2007 06:34PM

Mr. Presentable

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One I saw, I think it was an Alfred Hitchcock, cops come to the home, husband has been bludgeoned with blunt instrument, wife has leg of lamb in the oven for dinner. Feeds it to the cops,

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#36 23-09-2007 06:50PM

HammerHeadGym

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I would leave your diary by the body. A few pages in and they'll know it was a suicide. The real mystery will be why it took you so long.

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#37 23-09-2007 06:50PM

TPD

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Wait until we're both on a set of stairs alone (without cctv) then push you down, run down after you in case that doesn't to the job and snap your neck. Then start screaming and crying etc. while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Maybe spill some water at the top of the stairs, and get them to stand in it before you push them. That way you can sue the owner of the building.

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#38 23-09-2007 06:54PM

Spades

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wyk wrote:

I'd gift you a motorbike.

Wez

I have two, would YOU like to borrow one

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#39 23-09-2007 07:28PM

Capt'n Midnight

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nipplenuts wrote:

One I saw, I think it was an Alfred Hitchcock, cops come to the home, husband has been bludgeoned with blunt instrument, wife has leg of lamb in the oven for dinner. Feeds it to the cops,

IIRC. Tales of the unexpected, Roland Dahl

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#40 23-09-2007 07:42PM

Terry

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Capt'n Midnight wrote:

IIRC. Tales of the unexpected, Roland Dahl

I believe you are correct.

I vaguely remember seeing that particular episode on ITV 3 or 4 a few months back.

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#41 23-09-2007 08:31PM

MooseJam

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ball peen hammer to the back of the head, nuff said

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#42 23-09-2007 11:29PM

Slutmonkey57b

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Aisling(",) wrote:

well i personally would wait till your drunk and alone then im push ya on the ground hold ya down with a pair of leather gloves and stuff snow o crushed ice down your troath so youd get no air and the vidence would melf...also id wear shoes that are to big for me then throw them away so i couldnt be linked by footprints!...wold also wear a shower car to avoid hair falling out and cover every other part of mi body thatcould leave dna traces!

The snow/ice would scratch their throat.

Holding someone down without leaving marks would be next to impossible, especially since you'd be using one had to shove snow in their mouth and another to hold their head.

They'd also be able to bite you through the leather gloves, thereby leaving not only DNA but incriminating bite marks.

Anyone so drunk that they wouldn't struggle during the above is much easier killed by blocking their nose or mouth. Plastic bag would be best.

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#43 23-09-2007 11:32PM

Kold

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lezizi wrote:

I would hire the McCanns;)

Talk about dumbing down my original gag...

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#44 23-09-2007 11:42PM

Robbo

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MooseJam wrote:

ball peen hammer to the back of the head, nuff said

I don't think Sutcliffe got away with that one in the end.

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#45 28-09-2007 12:37PM

coolhandc

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what a disturbing thread!

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#46 28-09-2007 12:43PM

Horsefumbler

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Kold wrote:

I'd spend thousands on a "Find _ _ _ _" campaign...

Oh no you did ent!:D

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#47 28-09-2007 01:16PM

Wacker

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Overheal wrote:

ruin their life i=behind the scenes to the point where they kill themself.

or just murder them in plain sight in a Limerick housing estate. The perfect crime.

Read the Crow Road by Iain Banks recently per chance?

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#48 28-09-2007 01:35PM

SpAcEd OuT

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I would say a dingle came in during the night and ran off with him/her

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#49 28-09-2007 01:55PM

Terry

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SpAcEd OuT wrote:

I would say a dingle came in during the night and ran off with him/her

Those damn towns in Kerry.

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#50 28-09-2007 01:59PM

Mr. Presentable

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Aisling(",) wrote:

well i personally would wait till your drunk and alone then im push ya on the ground hold ya down with a pair of leather gloves and stuff snow o crushed ice down your troath so youd get no air and the vidence would melf...also id wear shoes that are to big for me then throw them away so i couldnt be linked by footprints!...wold also wear a shower car to avoid hair falling out and cover every other part of mi body thatcould leave dna traces!

Ahh, but if someone saw you dressed like that

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#51 28-09-2007 02:00PM

Mr. Presentable

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Terry wrote:

Those damn towns in Kerry.

Traleed away by an Daingean to be Killarneyed later

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#52 28-09-2007 02:21PM

Dragan

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The majority of murders are carried out where the killer already has some established relationship with the victim.

It's normally the first people they will look at.

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#53 28-09-2007 02:33PM

Terry

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coolhandc wrote:

what a disturbing thread!

Interestingly enough...
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54100111&postcount=82

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#54 28-09-2007 03:20PM

Ger_Hankey

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Strangle them & set it up to look like auto-erotic asphyxiation. Call the papers & TV stations before the police so everybody makes up their mind what happened before its properly investigated.

Works a charm....

I'd imagine.

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#55 28-09-2007 05:06PM

biko

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In Dublin: I'd tape a sign to their coat saying "I carry cash"
In Galway: I'd tape a sign to their coat saying "I carry hash"

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#56 28-09-2007 07:11PM

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I'd buy a whole load of CSI DVDs with all the details of how people are caught etc. Then I'd beat you over the head repeatedly with them.

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#57 28-09-2007 08:55PM

Capt'n Midnight

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stab them with a golden dagger

dagger gets nicked , no evidence

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#58 28-09-2007 09:15PM

coyote6

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I'd have you pull my finger! Then I'd feed you to some pigs.:D

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