What do you do when the JW knock on your door?

Love2love · 12-09-2007 10:12AM #1

For the third time this month, the Jehovah Witnesses have been at my door. Now I'm in Germany and they think just because they can speak English to me, that I am interested in joining up. But my question to you is, what do you do when they knock on your door????

I remember the knocked on my door one Christmas morning and my mother was fuming because of it. She said that it is obvious that we are Christian because of the Christmas decorations and that they are using that time of year to prey on the vunerable that is around at that time of the year.

So any interesting story / ways to get rid of them?

tallus · 12-09-2007 10:14AM

I usually tell them to fcuk off

mikemac · 12-09-2007 10:14AM

I used to be polite and take their leaflets. Big mistake!

Then think you're interested if you do that and they'll call again and ask did you read them.
No, I use them to start fires

Dord · 12-09-2007 10:23AM

I just let them know that I'm not interested in religion but thanks anyways.

Actually, I went to school with a jehovah witness, really cool guy.

AlmightyCushion · 12-09-2007 10:30AM

Just do something stupid like act like a rabid dog and I'm sure they'll never bother you again. Plus you get a laugh out of it.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 12-09-2007 10:34AM

I answer the door with my Pit Bull Terrier

seamus · 12-09-2007 10:35AM

I remember answering the door once and they started asking questions such as Name, no. of residents, etc while another guy wrote down everything. I gave them my first name but as soon as I saw the guy writing down stuff and hearing the questions, I closed the door.

Now I just don't answer the door to them. They can see me through the front window, but I can see they're JW, so fair's fair.

star-pants · 12-09-2007 10:39AM

Don't tell them you're an atheist ... I tried that and they seemed more determined to convert me...starting asking why did I feel that way, was I brought up like that etc. They were nice enough except they were nearly coming in the door, had my foot at the back of it. In the end I took a booklet n off they went after about 15-20 mins at the door. I was annoyed cuz I'd just made my tea n twas all yuckky then..

Jigsaw · 12-09-2007 10:42AM

Throw poo at them.

Anti · 12-09-2007 10:44AM

Thelast bunch that came to my door were really aggro. I told them im not interested and they help the door open. I told them to **** off, and he put his foot in the door... BIG mistake on his part. I dropped the shoulder and charged as hard as i could into it. All i seen was him limping away crying. They never bothered me again.

jester77 · 12-09-2007 10:56AM

Love2love wrote:

For the third time this month, the Jehovah Witnesses have been at my door. Now I'm in Germany and they think just because they can speak English to me, that I am interested in joining up. But my question to you is, what do you do when they knock on your door????

I remember the knocked on my door one Christmas morning and my mother was fuming because of it. She said that it is obvious that we are Christian because of the Christmas decorations and that they are using that time of year to prey on the vunerable that is around at that time of the year.

So any interesting story / ways to get rid of them?

You made the mistake of talking to them the first time. They are like feckin leeches, once they know you will talk to them they keep coming back. My gf made this mistake, she's too polite, but I got the message through to them in English and they haven't been seen since!

event · 12-09-2007 11:00AM

i tell them to go away, im not interested

they are usually pleasant enough

_blank_ · 12-09-2007 11:01AM

They've never knocked on my door, in any place I've ever lived.

I WANT to be converted, they don't know what they are missing out on tbh.

Dave! · 12-09-2007 11:02AM

I don't think any have knocked here in years... they must not be too keen on Tallaght!

I remember years ago there were these 2 JW walking around the area. We were quite young so we started talking to them. Turns out one of them could do a backflip! We had him do it many many times. That's when I found Jesus.

watna · 12-09-2007 11:04AM

I just tell them I'm already a Jehovah's witness or talk about the church that I go to (which is a lie) and the things we do there, just talk to them for two or three minutes about how you're a dedicated christian and then they leave you alone.

Love2love · 12-09-2007 11:10AM

Well I have tried telling them that I am a happy practicing Catholic - Didn't work, so when they knock I usually make some excuse as to why I cannot talk with them.... Just getting in the shower, just heading out ect. Today, they wanted to speak with while my boyfriend was on the phone which was in my hand. I've told them I'm moving back to Dublin at the end of the month so we'll see if they call again.
My boyfriend hates them and gets really annoyed because he is never there when they call, he's waiting to give them some abuse.

magick · 12-09-2007 11:18AM

Look it goes like this...........

1 answer the door naked 99% of the time they will f*ck off

2 The ones who are brave enough to stand there and have a conversation with you about "finding jesus" just say in the most serious voice "I AM JESUS" at this point i starting stroking my penis , the look of horror covers their faces and they back away slowly.

Its Never failed...................

i am JESUS!

Merrick · 12-09-2007 11:19AM

I've never had them call to my door before, but I have some friends who made the mistake of talking to them once. They came back for regular visits for ages afterward... We got free copies of the Book of Mormon though.

robinph · 12-09-2007 11:21AM

Don't answer the door unless it's someone delivering post or pizza.

Love2love · 12-09-2007 11:23AM

magick wrote:

Look it goes like this...........

1 answer the door naked 99% of the time they will f*ck off

2 The ones who are brave enough to stand there and have a conversation with you about "finding jesus" just say in the most serious voice "I AM JESUS" at this point i starting stroking my penis , the look of horror covers their faces and they back away slowly.

Its Never failed...................

i am JESUS!

TEE HEE HEE! I should try this.... except the stroking the penis obviously

big b · 12-09-2007 11:25AM

Tell them you are not interested, and to put you down as a "do not call"

You won't see them again

Mossy Monk · 12-09-2007 11:40AM

Tell them you don't believe in a God and ask them to politely **** off.

ntlbell · 12-09-2007 11:43AM

Tell them I didn't see it.

JohnK · 12-09-2007 11:43AM

micmclo wrote:

I used to be polite and take their leaflets. Big mistake!

Then think you're interested if you do that and they'll call again and ask did you read them.

I've very disappointed with the determination of the Jehovah’s around here. They only ever called once and when I took the leaflet and promised to read it they never came back to talk to me about it

Admittedly I only wanted to laugh at them when they came back but they denied me the opportunity. I feel cheated! :mad:

Dyr · 12-09-2007 11:49AM

seamus wrote:

I remember answering the door once and they started asking questions such as Name, no. of residents, etc while another guy wrote down everything. I gave them my first name but as soon as I saw the guy writing down stuff and hearing the questions, I closed the door.

There was always the rumour that the latter day saints were riddled with CIA agents.
:eek:

axer · 12-09-2007 11:50AM

Love2love wrote:

For the third time this month, the Jehovah Witnesses have been at my door. Now I'm in Germany and they think just because they can speak English to me, that I am interested in joining up. But my question to you is, what do you do when they knock on your door????

I remember the knocked on my door one Christmas morning and my mother was fuming because of it. She said that it is obvious that we are Christian because of the Christmas decorations and that they are using that time of year to prey on the vunerable that is around at that time of the year.

So any interesting story / ways to get rid of them?

Yes they are very persistent in Germany alright. My girlfriends mother here entertains them by listening to them but I am waiting for them to show up at my door.

I am definitely going to try the "but you don't understand - I AM Jesus!".

I hate people that try and push a religion on you especially if they believe in evil things such as not giving a blood transfusion to a dying child that needs one.

Sleepy · 12-09-2007 11:58AM

They only ever called once...

I broke my ****e laughing and just said "wrong house lads but while you're here, let me ask you: have you got Satan in your heart?"

seamus · 12-09-2007 11:59AM

I can't remember if this is a story I heard here or from my Mum, but one day there was a group of students revising for their finals in a house in Dublin.

A JW lands at the door, and says, "Hi, I'd like to talk to you about God.". They were theology students and were more than happy to spend their time talking about God, because that was revision.

A few hours later, the JW had to make his excuses and leave....

MOH · 12-09-2007 12:02PM

Try and convert them to Satanism.
I've never had the time, but you'd need to have a long spiel prepared, and be as determined as they are. don't let them interrupt you and keep going.

Of course they might just wait for you to run out of steam. You'd need to be pretty convincing and scare them off.

Terry · 12-09-2007 12:02PM

A friend got them to help him move some furniture around and then told them to piss off.

ejmaztec · 12-09-2007 12:07PM

Just give them a list of the names and addresses of people that you want to wind up.

I was a regular visitor to an office where a Jehovah's Witness worked and told him that my friend John was always interested in discussing different kinds of religion. I gave him the details and waited for the sh1t to hit the fan.

My friend came looking for me two days later

"You bas***d! It took me two hours to get rid of that c**t!"

What do you do when the JW knock on your door?

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