What do you do when the JW knock on your door?

Love2love

For the third time this month, the Jehovah Witnesses have been at my door. Now I'm in Germany and they think just because they can speak English to me, that I am interested in joining up. But my question to you is, what do you do when they knock on your door????

I remember the knocked on my door one Christmas morning and my mother was fuming because of it. She said that it is obvious that we are Christian because of the Christmas decorations and that they are using that time of year to prey on the vunerable that is around at that time of the year.

So any interesting story / ways to get rid of them?

tallus

I usually tell them to fcuk off

mikemac

I used to be polite and take their leaflets. Big mistake!

Then think you're interested if you do that and they'll call again and ask did you read them.
No, I use them to start fires

Dord

I just let them know that I'm not interested in religion but thanks anyways.

Actually, I went to school with a jehovah witness, really cool guy.

AlmightyCushion

Just do something stupid like act like a rabid dog and I'm sure they'll never bother you again. Plus you get a laugh out of it.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I answer the door with my Pit Bull Terrier

seamus

I remember answering the door once and they started asking questions such as Name, no. of residents, etc while another guy wrote down everything. I gave them my first name but as soon as I saw the guy writing down stuff and hearing the questions, I closed the door.

Now I just don't answer the door to them. They can see me through the front window, but I can see they're JW, so fair's fair.

star-pants

Don't tell them you're an atheist ... I tried that and they seemed more determined to convert me...starting asking why did I feel that way, was I brought up like that etc. They were nice enough except they were nearly coming in the door, had my foot at the back of it. In the end I took a booklet n off they went after about 15-20 mins at the door. I was annoyed cuz I'd just made my tea n twas all yuckky then..

Jigsaw

Throw poo at them.

Anti

Thelast bunch that came to my door were really aggro. I told them im not interested and they help the door open. I told them to **** off, and he put his foot in the door... BIG mistake on his part. I dropped the shoulder and charged as hard as i could into it. All i seen was him limping away crying. They never bothered me again.

jester77

Love2love wrote:

For the third time this month, the Jehovah Witnesses have been at my door. Now I'm in Germany and they think just because they can speak English to me, that I am interested in joining up. But my question to you is, what do you do when they knock on your door????

I remember the knocked on my door one Christmas morning and my mother was fuming because of it. She said that it is obvious that we are Christian because of the Christmas decorations and that they are using that time of year to prey on the vunerable that is around at that time of the year.

So any interesting story / ways to get rid of them?

You made the mistake of talking to them the first time. They are like feckin leeches, once they know you will talk to them they keep coming back. My gf made this mistake, she's too polite, but I got the message through to them in English and they haven't been seen since!

event

i tell them to go away, im not interested

they are usually pleasant enough

_blank_

They've never knocked on my door, in any place I've ever lived.



I WANT to be converted, they don't know what they are missing out on tbh.

Dave!

I don't think any have knocked here in years... they must not be too keen on Tallaght!

I remember years ago there were these 2 JW walking around the area. We were quite young so we started talking to them. Turns out one of them could do a backflip! We had him do it many many times. That's when I found Jesus.

watna

I just tell them I'm already a Jehovah's witness or talk about the church that I go to (which is a lie) and the things we do there, just talk to them for two or three minutes about how you're a dedicated christian and then they leave you alone.

Love2love

Well I have tried telling them that I am a happy practicing Catholic - Didn't work, so when they knock I usually make some excuse as to why I cannot talk with them.... Just getting in the shower, just heading out ect. Today, they wanted to speak with while my boyfriend was on the phone which was in my hand. I've told them I'm moving back to Dublin at the end of the month so we'll see if they call again.
My boyfriend hates them and gets really annoyed because he is never there when they call, he's waiting to give them some abuse.

magick

Look it goes like this...........

1 answer the door naked 99% of the time they will f*ck off


2 The ones who are brave enough to stand there and have a conversation with you about "finding jesus" just say in the most serious voice "I AM JESUS" at this point i starting stroking my penis , the look of horror covers their faces and they back away slowly.


Its Never failed...................


i am JESUS!

Merrick

I've never had them call to my door before, but I have some friends who made the mistake of talking to them once. They came back for regular visits for ages afterward... We got free copies of the Book of Mormon though.

robinph

Don't answer the door unless it's someone delivering post or pizza.

Love2love

magick wrote:

Look it goes like this...........

1 answer the door naked 99% of the time they will f*ck off


2 The ones who are brave enough to stand there and have a conversation with you about "finding jesus" just say in the most serious voice "I AM JESUS" at this point i starting stroking my penis , the look of horror covers their faces and they back away slowly.


Its Never failed...................


i am JESUS!

TEE HEE HEE! I should try this.... except the stroking the penis obviously

big b

Tell them you are not interested, and to put you down as a "do not call"

You won't see them again

Mossy Monk

Tell them you don't believe in a God and ask them to politely **** off.

ntlbell

Tell them I didn't see it.

JohnK

micmclo wrote:

I used to be polite and take their leaflets. Big mistake!

Then think you're interested if you do that and they'll call again and ask did you read them.

I've very disappointed with the determination of the Jehovah’s around here. They only ever called once and when I took the leaflet and promised to read it they never came back to talk to me about it
Admittedly I only wanted to laugh at them when they came back but they denied me the opportunity. I feel cheated! :mad:

Dyr

seamus wrote:

I remember answering the door once and they started asking questions such as Name, no. of residents, etc while another guy wrote down everything. I gave them my first name but as soon as I saw the guy writing down stuff and hearing the questions, I closed the door.

There was always the rumour that the latter day saints were riddled with CIA agents.
:eek:

axer

Love2love wrote:

For the third time this month, the Jehovah Witnesses have been at my door. Now I'm in Germany and they think just because they can speak English to me, that I am interested in joining up. But my question to you is, what do you do when they knock on your door????

I remember the knocked on my door one Christmas morning and my mother was fuming because of it. She said that it is obvious that we are Christian because of the Christmas decorations and that they are using that time of year to prey on the vunerable that is around at that time of the year.

So any interesting story / ways to get rid of them?

Yes they are very persistent in Germany alright. My girlfriends mother here entertains them by listening to them but I am waiting for them to show up at my door.

I am definitely going to try the "but you don't understand - I AM Jesus!".

I hate people that try and push a religion on you especially if they believe in evil things such as not giving a blood transfusion to a dying child that needs one.

Sleepy

They only ever called once...

I broke my ****e laughing and just said "wrong house lads but while you're here, let me ask you: have you got Satan in your heart?"

seamus

I can't remember if this is a story I heard here or from my Mum, but one day there was a group of students revising for their finals in a house in Dublin.

A JW lands at the door, and says, "Hi, I'd like to talk to you about God.". They were theology students and were more than happy to spend their time talking about God, because that was revision.

A few hours later, the JW had to make his excuses and leave....

MOH

Try and convert them to Satanism.
I've never had the time, but you'd need to have a long spiel prepared, and be as determined as they are. don't let them interrupt you and keep going.

Of course they might just wait for you to run out of steam. You'd need to be pretty convincing and scare them off.

Terry

A friend got them to help him move some furniture around and then told them to piss off.

ejmaztec

Just give them a list of the names and addresses of people that you want to wind up.

I was a regular visitor to an office where a Jehovah's Witness worked and told him that my friend John was always interested in discussing different kinds of religion. I gave him the details and waited for the sh1t to hit the fan.

My friend came looking for me two days later

"You bas***d! It took me two hours to get rid of that c**t!"

Necronomicon

Merrick wrote:

We got free copies of the Book of Mormon though.

The Book of Mormon, as explained by South Park.

Mossy Monk

ejmaztec wrote:

"You bas***d! It took me two hours to get rid of that c**t!"

2 hours? More his fault than anyone elses.

Dalfiatach

A friend of mine lives off the SCR in Dublin and used to be plagued by the Mormons calling once a week. So he obtained himself a copy of the Book of Mormon, studied it for a couple of weeks, then cheerfully invited them in and kept them there for about 3 hours while he went through a list of passages he wanted explained in more detail, especially in contrast to Catholicism, Methodism and Satanism.

They never called at his door ever again.

Seems like a bit of a waste of effort to me though, I just tell them "There is no God. Now PFO, you fecking loons. "

humanji

Invite them in and try to convert them to some sort of cult. Be really insistant, and when they leave, give them some leaflets. Then secretly follow them as they go on their way and pop out every now and again and ask them if they read your leaflets? Whether they say yes or no, give them more. They will either get the idea, or be very scared.

Being naked and stroking you penis while doing it will also help.

AlmightyCushion

humanji wrote:

Invite them in and try to convert them to some sort of cult. Be really insistant, and when they leave, give them some leaflets. Then secretly follow them as they go on their way and pop out every now and again and ask them if they read your leaflets? Whether they say yes or no, give them more. They will either get the idea, or be very scared.

Being naked and stroking you penis while doing it will also help.

Or follow them and try and convert the people they go to, to this cult. That would be fúcking brilliant.

swingking

JW: Have you found Jesus yet

Me: yes, I just saw him running past my house. If you hurry you might catch him

Zzippy

magick wrote:

Look it goes like this...........

1 answer the door naked 99% of the time they will f*ck off


2 The ones who are brave enough to stand there and have a conversation with you about "finding jesus" just say in the most serious voice "I AM JESUS" at this point i starting stroking my penis , the look of horror covers their faces and they back away slowly.


Its Never failed...................


i am JESUS!

LMAO! Brilliant!
I answered the door once to a female JW (or some other crowd that try to convert you), told her politely I wasn't interested. Two weeks later, 11.30 on Sat morning, hungover, eating breakfast and watching Football Focus, she arrives at the door with hubby and 2 kids, all dressed to the nines. When I answered the door they all announced, in unison, "Hi, we're here to save your soul!". Creepy, and outstandingly funny!

Love2love

Galwayguy99 wrote:

LMAO! Brilliant!
I answered the door once to a female JW (or some other crowd that try to convert you), told her politely I wasn't interested. Two weeks later, 11.30 on Sat morning, hungover, eating breakfast and watching Football Focus, she arrives at the door with hubby and 2 kids, all dressed to the nines. When I answered the door they all announced, in unison, "Hi, we're here to save your soul!". Creepy, and outstandingly funny!

I actually know a couple of JW in Ireland and they have never tried to convert me, thankfully! But I know that they do this "service" I imagine it to be exactly like this....

stovelid

Tell them you are more into "alternative forms of worship", grin and invite them in.

Sure to get rid of them.

Plug

tallus wrote:

I usually tell them to fcuk off

+1

I told a man and a women to take a holiday, stop wrecking peoples heads and that theres no afterlife.

Shadowless

Just tell them you give blood regularly.

It's against their religion apparently.

knird evol

Id just like to leave you all with some of these links here to some information that could transform your hearts and those of your loved ones. Please take the
time to look through some of this with your family today. If you have any questions just leave them here and ill be back to answer them in great detail later on. Open your heart to Jesus.


http://www.4witness.org/downloads/jehovahs_witness/jw_beliefs.pdf

http://www.4witness.org/downloads/jehovahs_witness/jw_salvation.pdf

http://www.4witness.org/downloads/jehovahs_witness/tj_hcja.pdf

Nevyn

Saying your a blood donor works so does saying your a witch.

If they are still persistent ask for the address of thier kingdom hall and send them a letter stating you do not want to be contacted again.
If they called again send another letter and if they call again after that it is harassment.

Ciaran500

lol

No where is safe

Nevyn

knird evol can I have your address so that I can call around and talk to about
letting the love of the Godess into your heart and why christainty is the re imagining of the worship of the sun god ?

AlmightyCushion

Thaedydal wrote:

knird evol can I have your address so that I can call around and talk to about
letting the love of the Godess into your heart and why christainty is the re imagining of the worship of the sun god ?

I had people want to stick their love in to me before but it wasn't in to my heart.

prendy

they used to be really annoying callin around where i lived in college....until we started asking them to join our religion when they called round...didnt like that too much!!!

meglome

micmclo wrote:

I used to be polite and take their leaflets. Big mistake!

Then think you're interested if you do that and they'll call again and ask did you read them.
No, I use them to start fires

Yes I made that mistake when I used to live at home in Glasnevin. I was interested in hearing what they had to say, I'm a curious guy although not religious at all. But **** me that was a mistake, they constantly called to my house. At one point I had the Jehovah’s and the Mormons calling. Don't know what I was thinking, listening at all is a bad idea. Actually I felt sorry for them, they really couldn't see any of the more dubious aspects of their chosen faiths. Seriously reminded me of how I thought people might act if they were brainwashed.

I-like-eggs,mmm

OR tell them you're gay.... They're against homosexuality! Ooooh

murphaph

You could tell them that following a rather nasty accident your life was saved by receiving 10 pints of transfused blood and had you been one of them you'd be dead now. I prefer being alive, so thanks but no thanks.

I do like Terry's mate's idea of getting some form of manual labour out of them before a polite fcuk off.

I admire their tenacity but can't help but feel it's completely wasted energy. We had 1 family of JWs in our village and I was at school with one of the daughters. They were nice and never went around pestering people, maybe they did it elsewhere but at least they didn;t sh!t in their own doorstep.