RIP Pat the Baker

dublinario · 27-08-2007 02:55PM

Pat is survived by his wife, Phyllis the Housewife, and children, Fionn the Plasterer (28), PJ the Confidence Trickster (34), Máire the Aromatherapist (26), and Terrance. Terrance is currently unemployed.

Slow Motion · 27-08-2007 03:00PM

Who's gonna do the sambos for the wake ? Brennans ?

2 stroke · 27-08-2007 03:01PM

I'm just going to eat some toast in his memory, anyone care to join me?

It BeeMee · 27-08-2007 03:11PM

Never liked 'im, always thought he was a thick cu.t

dublinario · 27-08-2007 03:11PM

2 stroke wrote:

I'm just going to eat some toast in his memory, anyone care to join me?

I'm going to retire my toaster in Pat's honour. A true gentleman and icon of the notoriously fickle bread community. And I don't buy all that negative propaganda about him personally smearing his cock over every hundredth pan. Scandalous lies from those w*nkers over at Brennans.

AlmightyCushion · 27-08-2007 03:13PM

dublinario wrote:

I'm going to retire my toaster in Pat's honour. A true gentleman and icon of the notoriously fickle bread community. And I don't buy all that negative propaganda about him personally smearing his cock over every hundredth pan. Scandalous lies from those w*nkers over at Brennans.

I always thought that was some sort of free prize. Every 100th pan comes with free cock cheese.

carbsy · 27-08-2007 03:20PM

dublinario wrote:

I'm going to retire my toaster in Pat's honour. A true gentleman and icon of the notoriously fickle bread community. And I don't buy all that negative propaganda about him personally smearing his cock over every hundredth pan. Scandalous lies from those w*nkers over at Brennans.

I just burst out laughing at this ... funny stuff.

dublinario · 27-08-2007 03:24PM

AlmightyCushion wrote:

I always thought that was some sort of free prize. Every 100th pan comes with free cock cheese.

No, it's bullsh*t. It was a fiction when those sc*mbags at Brennans first concocted it, and it's a fiction today. The only reason the story ever gained credence is because Pat himself admitted in his autobiography (My Life in Bread) to incubating undercooked pans beneath his naked "darce" (that weird area between your dick and your arse), much as mother goose would tend to her egg.

But far from being a sick prank, Pat only did this to rescue the faulty pan, hating as he did seeing any food wasted. It does however account for the flood of complaints in the 80s about pube-ridden batch loafs and sliced pans beset by downy fuzz.

2 stroke · 27-08-2007 03:26PM

Some of the posts on here are in bad taste (no pun intended).

dublinario · 27-08-2007 03:32PM

2 stroke wrote:

bad taste

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA. I see what you've done here. You've taken the fact that he was a bread magnate, and then you've used the word "taste", which in this context has a double meaning. Oh man, you kill me.

2 stroke wrote:

(no pun intended)

Oh.

zuutroy · 27-08-2007 03:44PM

Yeah, a bit OTT in fairness.

c - 13 · 27-08-2007 03:48PM

zuutroy wrote:

Yeah, a bit OTT in fairness.

Ah relax there lads, we're just trying to get a rise out of ye is all

/Gets Coat, Calls Taxi

phasers · 27-08-2007 03:51PM

I buy shops own brand bread

down with the bread corporations!

dublinario · 27-08-2007 03:57PM

phasers wrote:

I buy shops own brand bread

down with the bread corporations!

Oh for God's sake. Not another brainwashed hippy, spouting off about the evils of "Big Bread" and "Big Oil". I'm sick of this sh*t. There is nothing evil about large corporations trying to turn a buck. There is no global sliced pan conspiracy. Big Bread had nothing - I repeat, nothing - to do with 9/11. And there are no plans to run a yeast pipeline through Afghanastan, despite what the anti-bread lobby say.

Spyral · 27-08-2007 04:05PM

Maybe he will be inccoruptus and then be made into a Saint.

then we can pray "o pat the baker, who's body is blessed so that its so fresh its famous.."

*gets smited*

pity tho even though i hated the ads..

AlmightyCushion · 27-08-2007 04:08PM

dublinario wrote:

Big Bread had nothing - I repeat, nothing - to do with 9/11.

Please inform yourself before you decided to post your moronic, ill-informed thoughts here. Those guys who were behind 911 had a few slices if toast that morning for breakfast and one of them even had a sandwich with him on the plane. Coincidence, I think not.

Duggy747 · 27-08-2007 04:08PM

dublinario wrote:

And there are no plans to run a yeast pipeline through Afghanastan, despite what the anti-bread lobby say.

Ah, he was quite a crusty old age when his Best Before Date expired. Now, enough with all of your dead-pan humour, I propose a toast to Pat for given us the oppertunity to enjoy filthy after-pub sandwiches dough heel be sadly missed.............................BREAD BREAD BREAD BREAD BREAD!!!!

*Sorry, I couldn't resist there! *

Slow Motion · 27-08-2007 04:11PM

Bad Taste indeed he's obviously past his use by date !

So do you think they'll be playing him out with "Mouldy old dough" at the service ?

dublinario · 27-08-2007 04:18PM

In his younger years, he once engaged the great Mahatma Gandhi in a bread making competition. Charmed by Ghandi's doctrine of peace, Pat threw the competition, purposely contriving a draw, ending the bout in stalemate (eh? eh, my friend?). When Ghandi learned of the deception, he became aggressive and had to be removed from the bakery by some of Mr. DeBakers hired goons.

Robbo · 27-08-2007 04:21PM

I decided to pay tribute in toast form.

Slow Motion · 27-08-2007 04:22PM

Robbo wrote:

I decided to pay tribute in toast form.

Ahh ! What a nice breadstone

Sangre · 27-08-2007 04:37PM

I wonder if when they found his body if it was fresh...

So fresh it'll be famous?

Robbo · 27-08-2007 04:44PM

Sangre wrote:

I wonder if when they found his body if it was fresh...

So fresh it'll be famous?

I believe there was some decomposition and there was a need to spray some Glade around the air. His family are quite competitive and there was they all wanted to be first with fresheners.

I make no apologies.

dublinario · 27-08-2007 04:57PM

Well Pat, I hope your happier now, perched beside a cosmic oven in that big bakery in the sky, barking orders at Peter, Paul, Thomas, the other apostles, eh, Jesus, God, the guy with the ark, and the rest of the cast of the bible. I like to think you'll be the Gordon Ramsey of Heaven's Kitchen, castigating Judas in a slew of four-letter words for the misshapen, triangular loaf of crud he's embarrassingly baked. Bake well Pat, bake well....

burnedfaceman · 27-08-2007 05:16PM

this thread is distasteful akin to the anyone else tired off madeleine mccann in media. i happen know a member of family is a member of boards and doubt they would appreciate people having cheap jokes at the death of an old man.how many ppl here would find it funny to have ppl taking the piss out of a recently deceased relative.

dublinario · 27-08-2007 05:25PM

burnedfaceman wrote:

this thread is distasteful akin to the anyone else tired off madeleine mccann in media. i happen know a member of family is a member of boards and doubt they would appreciate people having cheap jokes at the death of an old man.how many ppl here would find it funny to have ppl taking the piss out of a recently deceased relative.

And heeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee comes the thought police!!!!!!

Get off your sanctimonious soap box burnedfaceman. There isn't a person on here who could have picked the man out of a line-up (unless he was the only one wearing a baker's hat). People are making bread puns and light hearted remarks about a marketing gimmick. Go find something worthy to pontificate about.

Sangre · 27-08-2007 07:19PM

burnedfaceman wrote:

this thread is distasteful akin to the anyone else tired off madeleine mccann in media. i happen know a member of family is a member of boards and doubt they would appreciate people having cheap jokes at the death of an old man.how many ppl here would find it funny to have ppl taking the piss out of a recently deceased relative.

I know how you feel. I'm related to Hitler.

A bit of respect for the dead, ffs!!

WindSock · 27-08-2007 07:32PM

RIP Pat the baker

Make way now for Pat the Butcher.

Jesus Wept · 27-08-2007 08:19PM

burnedfaceman wrote:

this thread is distasteful akin to the anyone else tired off madeleine mccann in media. i happen know a member of family is a member of boards and doubt they would appreciate people having cheap jokes at the death of an old man.how many ppl here would find it funny to have ppl taking the piss out of a recently deceased relative.

You can't see the difference between an old successful man dieing of natural causes, and the McCann case.

Either way, no one has shown any disrespect, and if Pat the baker were still alive, I'm sure he would be lolz'ing at this thread and the puntasticness of it all.

Eglinton · 27-08-2007 08:28PM

Jesus wrote:

He broke the bread , gave it to his deciples and said, take this all of you and eat it

Oh man, it's been a long long time since I've been in a church but I would love to be there for this bit.:D

RIP Pat the Baker

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