Kids say the darndest things!

jor el · 06-07-2007 03:30PM

This is a great thread for a Friday evening, some very funny stuff from the mouths of babes.

I remember another time I was in Killarney with my niece, about 5 years ago and the Rally of the Lakes was on so naturally the whole place was wall to wall boy racers. Anyway, we were in this car park and there was one lad who had loads of lights on the front of his car. He was sitting inside it with some girl beside him and the windows down. The niece began counting them one by one, as children do, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 8 lights!" sounding very surprised and looking at me as if for some sort of explanation. She looked back at the car and lights and added "That's quare stupid that is". I could see the girl in the car burst out laughing at the guy.

Ishmael · 06-07-2007 04:14PM

When i was about 2-3, my mother brought me to mass one Sunday. Seemingly i spent most of the time climbing on the seats trying to get a look at the priest at the alter whilst shouting "I want to see God!".

electric69 · 06-07-2007 04:37PM

sueme wrote:

100-odd kids said yesterday "Is it a bit windy to go sailing Mammy?" :eek:

go get your coat

stratospheres · 06-07-2007 04:47PM

A couple of years ago I was at a bus stop and there was an ad on the side of the shelter with a girl in a bikini. A woman comes past with her son of about 2 and he points at the picture and shouts "Look Mammy, diddies!"

ROCKMAN · 06-07-2007 04:50PM

at home one day with guest's in the house of course.
My 2 and a half year old who is been potty trained starts his " i need the toilet dance " So I ask does he need the toilet " without warning he drop his pants to his ankles and declares loudly " yesss see my water hose is big "

lemansky · 06-07-2007 05:01PM

creggy wrote:

lol agreed

Also I heard on the bus, some little kid i reckon about 11 said to woman who was leaving to get off the bus

he said "you have a nice arse, do you want to have a ride later?"

Never heard the likes of it!!!

Dublin Bus? You always hear that stuff there very funny!But you can't laugh cos whenever i'm there they always have friends 10 years older than them who look like they'd knife you if you laughed.

I got the bus on Thomas St. once and it was one of those situations above^^, anyway a 12 year old was saying to his 20 something year old friends that his brother "had his head fcuking wrecked yesterday. The garda (there way of saying gardaí) are bringing him to the court on Thooorsday for beating the sh1te outta two tourists."They then started to laugh and tell him how mad his brother was.

Orange69 · 06-07-2007 05:04PM

lemansky wrote:

I got the bus on Thomas St. once and it was one of those situations above^^, anyway a 12 year old was saying to his 20 something year old friends that his brother "had his head fcuking wrecked yesterday. The garda (there way of saying gardaí) are bringing him to the court on Thooorsday for beating the sh1te outta two tourists."They then started to laugh and tell him how mad his brother was.

How is that funny?

Collie D · 06-07-2007 05:12PM

Waiting for a bus after the Ireland-Wales game. Welsh fan walks by with big silly hat on. Little boy on bike who has obviously been following him and annoying him all the way up the road says "You must be on drugs" to which your man replies "I think I must be because you're on a pink bike". The whole bus stop started laughing and annoying brat on pink bike nearly cried.

lemansky · 06-07-2007 05:13PM

Orange69 wrote:

How is that funny?

Not meant to be funny. I was merely telling a little story about what happens on DUblin Bus to expand on the earlier post, actually...where did I personally say it was funny?

Orange69 · 06-07-2007 05:28PM

Here...

lemansky wrote:

Dublin Bus? You always hear that stuff there very funny!But you can't laugh cos whenever i'm there they always have friends 10 years older than them who look like they'd knife you if you laughed.

Collie D · 06-07-2007 05:31PM

Convinced I just heard a kid calling Orange69 a pedantic peice of crap with no sense of humour.

lemansky · 06-07-2007 05:33PM

Orange69 wrote:

Here...

Yes I siad THAT stuff clearly referring to what had been said in the comment that I had quoted as Ihad not even mentioned my little story yet, not THIS stuff which I would have said if i was referring to what I was about to say. What you just did there is one of the best examples that I've ever seen of people taking something out of context to change its meaning and then make a point based around the resulting crap.

lemansky · 06-07-2007 05:34PM

Collie D wrote:

Convinced I just heard a kid calling Orange69 a pedantic peice of crap with no sense of humour.

Also I think I heard another asking him/her to actually contribute something USEFUL to the thread......:D

Karoma · 06-07-2007 05:50PM

...get back on-topic...

Thrill · 06-07-2007 06:02PM

Yeah, they say the darndest things alright.

Just a few day's back a little sh*t told me to "f*ck off" when i told him to be careful crossing the road.
I could have twisted his little neck at the time but I can laugh about it now.*

[SIZE=-2]*Still fuming:mad:[/SIZE]

Smellyirishman · 06-07-2007 07:57PM

One from my own childhood.

We were heading into Stephen's Green one bright summers day to feed the ducks but had to make a quick stop for mass on the way. Well during the proceedings, I got tired and started to just walk up and down the nave, seemingly oblivious and totally uninterested in what the priest had to say. Well once he got to the communion and recited "We take this bread..."

I skipped in with; "...for the ducks; Quack, Quack!"

This probably could have gone in for my entry in the wittiest moments thread too

.

tolosenc · 06-07-2007 08:59PM

I was in a restaurant in Offaly a while back. Ordered a steak rare, and the owners 8 year old daughter brought out our meals. I take a bite to find it, well, not rare. I turn to her and say "this steak is well-done". She looked at me puzzled and replied: "Oh. Thank you."

golden gal · 06-07-2007 10:38PM

my brother works in a clothes shop and a little boy walked up to him and stared at him then said "you must be really smart", so my brother goes "thanks alot" and then the boy looks at him for a bit more and says "cuz you got a really big head"

shane86 · 06-07-2007 10:51PM

Femmy wrote:

My 6 yr old daughter told me last week that when she grows up she wants to work in mac donalds.....

high hopes for herself.

Worked there a few years back, I emember one time we threw out a group of skanger girls aged about 11-13 because they were causin trouble, as I saw them out this little fat yoke of 12 says to me

"Ah yeah, ya tink yer bleedin great dont ya, just cos ya work in McDonalds!"

Oh yeah, that uniform made women wetter than an otters pocket. And thats just the sight of it, once they were within close enough range to smell the burger/geneal grease fat off it, I had to buy 3 new uniforms a week because it was always getting torn off me :rolleyes:

JIZZLORD · 06-07-2007 11:55PM

we were minding two wee boys (4&6)for a day a while back, i walked into the room and they were sitting up with my sisters

the 4 year old: "Colm, orla was giving me a moustache"
Me: moustache! dont you mean massage?

at that stage i whip out my phone and show a pic of me with a moustache from when i was shaving my beard off, they were asking why i grew a beard so i said that men grow hair all over their bodies when they're older. so the 4 year old starts asking stuff like "do you have hair on your belly?" and my sisters were trying to steer away the conversation as we knew where it was going, then all of a sudden,

"Colm, do you have hair around your willy, my dad does"

so we were laughing away, and the two boys thought we didnt believe them.
they once said that their mum said her willy fell off when they were born.

FunkZ · 07-07-2007 01:18AM

I was standing out side Spar on a street just off O Connell street near the Ambassador and there was some kid throwing chips at his ma while shouting all sorts a things at her! He was only about seven as well, the sad thing was ya could see where his life would end up.

He'll be the worst Irish president ever! But then again Irish presidents don't matter anyway...

stepbar · 07-07-2007 02:34AM

Ah kids, you have to love them

Shabadu · 07-07-2007 08:25AM

When my cousin James was only 3 he went up to one of the auld lads working in an Offaly Londis and said: 'Excuse me, do you have a penis?' The man turned around and boomed 'Beans? Beans? There's plenty of beans over on that shelf.'

On another occasion not too long afterwards, some elderly lady patted his head and said 'aren't you a lovely girl?' to which he indignantly responded: 'I'm not a girl, I'm a boy! I HAVE A PENIS!'

He really loved talking about his penis tbh.

Kids say the darndest things!

Comments