Funny Holiday horror stories

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 02:50PM #1

I thought I would start this thread about holiday horror stories, seeing as it is the holiday season. Everyone must have one.

Floppy's holiday horror story is probably a common one. Floppy was off on holidays with his mates for some sea, sun and other stuff. Anyway Floppy was tucked up in bed alone one night, when the guy he was sharing comes back with some lady that he pulled. As you can guess they started getting frisky and one thing led to another and they started going at it. The only problem being that poor floppy was in the other bed and there was nowhere to go, it was 3 or 4 in the morning and pitch dark, except to roll over and stare at the wall thinking happy thoughts while pretending to be asleep. Anyway they finished and finally floppy fell asleep.

The next morning floppy was woken up to them getting go at it again, this time floppy heard the lady say that she was putting her knickers under the pillow so she wouldn't loose them (her words). All floppy could do was stare at the wall again.

If this wasn't bad enough Floppy hadn't seen what the lady looked like but he was soon to find out, as not long after they had finished romping , the lady thought it would be funny if she jumped on poor floppy and woke him up. However the said lady weighted about 18 stone and poor floppy was nearly crushed.

Anyway thats my holiday horror story. Even now when floppy thinks about it he cant believe she jumped on him, to this day he still feel all the air being crushed out of him.

Degsy · 23-05-2007 02:54PM

Wtf?

there's only one Pighead

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:02PM

Floppybits wrote:

I thought I would start this thread about holiday horror stories, seeing as it is the holiday season. Everyone must have one.

Floppy's holiday horror story is probably a common one. Floppy was off on holidays with his mates for some sea, sun and other stuff. Anyway Floppy was tucked up in bed alone one night, when the guy he was sharing comes back with some lady that he pulled. As you can guess they started getting frisky and one thing led to another and they started going at it. The only problem being that poor floppy was in the other bed and there was nowhere to go, it was 3 or 4 in the morning and pitch dark, except to roll over and stare at the wall thinking happy thoughts while pretending to be asleep. Anyway they finished and finally floppy fell asleep.

The next morning floppy was woken up to them getting go at it again, this time floppy heard the lady say that she was putting her knickers under the pillow so she wouldn't loose them (her words). All floppy could do was stare at the wall again.

If this wasn't bad enough Floppy hadn't seen what the lady looked like but he was soon to find out, as not long after they had finished romping , the lady thought it would be funny if she jumped on poor floppy and woke him up. However the said lady weighted about 18 stone and poor floppy was nearly crushed.

Anyway thats my holiday horror story. Even now when floppy thinks about it he cant believe she jumped on him, to this day he still feel all the air being crushed out of him.

Eeeewwwww She was probably all hot and sweaty after all that sex.

monkeyfudge · 23-05-2007 03:04PM

I recounted the tale of my trip to Istanbul in one of the boards.ie podcasts.

http://podcasts.boards.ie/index.php?id=18

It's right at the beginning.

keltoms · 23-05-2007 03:07PM

must have been the sex panther aftershave u had on floppybits (anchorman:D)

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:08PM

keltoms wrote:

must have been the sex panther aftershave u had on floppybits (anchorman:D)

Just watched that last night. "60% of the time it works all of the time"

godtabh · 23-05-2007 03:10PM

keltoms wrote:

must have been the sex panther aftershave u had on floppybits (anchorman:D)

guaranteed to work 60% of the time all the time

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:17PM

keltoms wrote:

must have been the sex panther aftershave u had on floppybits (anchorman:D)

Think it might have been the leopard skin thong.

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:20PM

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Eeeewwwww She was probably all hot and sweaty after all that sex.

Floppy is going back to therapy now.

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:21PM

Floppybits wrote:

Floppy is going back to therapy now.

Just got a visual image :eek: . I think I might have to join ya.

Duggy747 · 23-05-2007 03:24PM

Here's a visual image of her jumping on Floppy for ya!!

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/936/dave2aa4.jpg

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:25PM

Duggy747 wrote:

Here's a visual image of her jumping on Floppy for ya!!

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/936/dave2aa4.jpg

Duggy were you the perv looking in the window?:D

Duggy747 · 23-05-2007 03:28PM

*Hangs head in shame*...............................yes.

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:31PM

Duggy747 wrote:

*Hangs head in shame*...............................yes.

Why doesn't this surprise me

Mossy Monk · 23-05-2007 03:33PM

Floppybits wrote:

The only problem being that poor floppy was in the other bed and there was nowhere to go

Yes there was. You could have left the room. Who cares if they saw you?

Duggy747 · 23-05-2007 03:34PM

Cuz I have a restraining order on your mother!

I believe the word is..........ZING!

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:35PM

Duggy747 wrote:

Cuz I have a restraining order on your mother!

I believe the word is..........ZING!

I have a restraining order on your face.

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:38PM

Mossy Monk wrote:

Yes there was. You could have left the room. Who cares if they saw you?

If only there was. This was in Turkey and if you have ever been there everything closes at 4am and all the lights go off. Floppy didnt fancy walking around on his todd and probably becoming some turkish wrestlers plaything for the night.

Duggy747 · 23-05-2007 03:39PM

AlmightyCushion wrote:

I have a restraining order on your face.

I'll restrain your mother's face with my fat ****!

Gator · 23-05-2007 03:43PM

I think the only person that can refer to themselves in the 3rd person and get away with it witout being annoying is pighead, leave it out

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:45PM

Gator wrote:

I think the only person that can refer to themselves in the 3rd person and get away with it witout being annoying is pighead, leave it out

Is that a rule on here? I dont see it anywhere. I will ask a moderator just to confirm that.

Miguel_Sanchez · 23-05-2007 03:46PM

Let floppy refer to himself in whatever person he wants - he's had a hard auld time of it by the sounds of things.

I'm waiting eagerly for Boards first 2nd person poster.

Although that might get a bit confusing.

keltoms · 23-05-2007 03:49PM

Floppybits wrote:

I thought I would start this thread about holiday horror stories, seeing as it is the holiday season. Everyone must have one.

Floppy's holiday horror story is probably a common one. Floppy was off on holidays with his mates for some sea, sun and other stuff. Anyway Floppy was tucked up in bed alone one night, when the guy he was sharing comes back with some lady that he pulled. As you can guess they started getting frisky and one thing led to another and they started going at it. The only problem being that poor floppy was in the other bed and there was nowhere to go, it was 3 or 4 in the morning and pitch dark, except to roll over and stare at the wall thinking happy thoughts while pretending to be asleep. Anyway they finished and finally floppy fell asleep.

The next morning floppy was woken up to them getting go at it again, this time floppy heard the lady say that she was putting her knickers under the pillow so she wouldn't loose them (her words). All floppy could do was stare at the wall again.

If this wasn't bad enough Floppy hadn't seen what the lady looked like but he was soon to find out, as not long after they had finished romping , the lady thought it would be funny if she jumped on poor floppy and woke him up. However the said lady weighted about 18 stone and poor floppy was nearly crushed.

Anyway thats my holiday horror story. Even now when floppy thinks about it he cant believe she jumped on him, to this day he still feel all the air being crushed out of him.

At least she didnt eat ya

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:50PM

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

Let floppy refer to himself in whatever person he wants - he's had a hard auld time of it by the sounds of things.

I'm waiting eagerly for Boards first 2nd person poster.

Although that might get a bit confusing.

Thank you Jeff. I am guessing that no one has any funny holiday horror stories then.

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:52PM

keltoms wrote:

At least she didnt eat ya

Id say it she wasn't far off.

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:52PM

Duggy747 wrote:

I'll restrain your mother's face with my fat ****!

I'll c0ck your mother with my face.

Gator · 23-05-2007 03:56PM

Floppybits wrote:

Thank you Jeff. I am guessing that no one has any funny holiday horror stories then.

Na, none as quite hilarious as yours, do you like making up stories

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:57PM

AlmightyCushion wrote:

I'll c0ck your mother with my face.

I sorted out both your mothers with my floppybits.:D

AlmightyCushion · 23-05-2007 03:58PM

Floppybits wrote:

I sorted out both your mothers with my floppybits.:D

You should have sorted that fat one with a gun to the face

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 03:58PM

Gator wrote:

Na, none as quite hilarious as yours, do you like making up stories

Jaysus Gator did I do something on you in a past life or are you always like this?

Floppybits · 23-05-2007 04:00PM

AlmightyCushion wrote:

You should have sorted that fat one with a gun to the face

Almighty, I was too busy trying to breathe and hoping that nothing had been crushed.

Funny Holiday horror stories

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