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Brothers ... today is the 18th anniversary of the passing of my old man, pa trout.
I would ask you to raise a virtual glass, for he was truly one of us ... (6 foot 2, 18 stone, massive girth, spear bald since the age of 21, could fart the intro's to many of the top 70's love songs ... you get the picture)
To give you a measure of the man, I would like to share some of the following memories
#1 ... pa trout, to junior trout on his rugby debut "remember son, prop's don't have to get there first, just get there the most".
#2 ... ma trout announcing she was going back to college, to study politics and feminist studies; "we're gonna sweep the country" she says ... pa trout replies "you can start with the kitchen"
#3 ... wedding anniversary card from pa trout to ma trout "10 years married today ... it's well for ya"
#4 ... on hearing about Guinness Lite pa trout announced " ah... it will be good for the hairdressers to have their own beer, and leave the Harp to the wimmin"
#2 ... ma trout announcing she was going back to college, to study politics and feminist studies; "we're gonna sweep the country" she says ... pa trout replies "you can start with the kitchen"
#6 ... pa trout to motorist who fails to respond to green traffic light ... "are you waitin' for a colour you like ?"
#7 .... pa trout to startled motorist who fails to respond to green traffic light, and then cuts out in front of the troutmobile ... "did you get yer licence in a lucky bag ?"
#8 ... pa trout to startled motorist who has now completely flooded their engine "gerrout and milk the fuppin' thing!"
#9 ... pa trout on arriving home with a thirst "I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me, than a full frontal lobotomy"
# 10 ... pa trout to trout junior who has just stopped a penalty kick with his junior trout nads, and is furiously trying to rub the eye watering pain away "never mind massagin' them son, count them!"
Brothers ... today is the 18th anniversary of the passing of my old man, pa trout.
I would ask you to raise a virtual glass, for he was truly one of us ... (6 foot 2, 18 stone, massive girth, spear bald since the age of 21, could fart the intro's to many of the top 70's love songs ... you get the picture)
To give you a measure of the man, I would like to share some of the following memories
#1 ... pa trout, to junior trout on his rugby debut "remember son, prop's don't have to get there first, just get there the most".
#2 ... ma trout announcing she was going back to college, to study politics and feminist studies; "we're gonna sweep the country" she says ... pa trout replies "you can start with the kitchen"
#3 ... wedding anniversary card from pa trout to ma trout "10 years married today ... it's well for ya"
#4 ... on hearing about Guinness Lite pa trout announced " ah... it will be good for the hairdressers to have their own beer, and leave the Harp to the wimmin"
pa trout ... we hardly knew ye
Excellent stuff. Didn't think guiness lite *spit* was out for 18 years? Or perhaps the beer has fuddled the source.
Did he ever say when an uncle gave you money"Aaah jaysus,you have a heart as big as a tea chest/church??"
i have one uncle, and he is an awful stingy miser altogether ... pa trout would say of him "he's that mean, if he was a ghost he wouldn't give you a fright".
i have one uncle, and he is an awful stingy miser altogether ... pa trout would say of him "he's that mean, if he was a ghost he wouldn't give you a fright".
#2 ... ma trout announcing she was going back to college, to study politics and feminist studies; "we're gonna sweep the country" she says ... pa trout replies "you can start with the kitchen"
That statement embodies everything we stand for. His wisdom knows no bounds.
#14 ... pa trout to anyone with a sob story or 'poor me' expression "if you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary ... between sh1t and syphilis"
that one came back to me yesterday, as I passed by the Clare Hall roundabout, to see a chap* selling newspapers. this chap has one good leg, and one that ends above the knee ... he theatrically rests the stump on the handle of his crutch, which as an attention getting device is very effective.:eek:
* at least I think it's a chap ... could also be a lady, if you've seen this person, you'll know why I am confused.
one from the archives, was reminded of this while watching Jet Li's Fearless over the weekend. (pa trout wasn't impressed by whipcord thin fitness fanatic martial artists, he preferred substance over style any day)
#15 ... pa trout observing a display of martial arts ... "that's all well and good son, but i'm tellin' ye now, one good kick in the bollix is worth all the kung fu in China"
#14 ... pa trout to anyone with a sob story or 'poor me' expression "if you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary ... between sh1t and syphilis"
that one came back to me yesterday, as I passed by the Clare Hall roundabout, to see a chap* selling newspapers. this chap has one good leg, and one that ends above the knee ... he theatrically rests the stump on the handle of his crutch, which as an attention getting device is very effective.:eek:
* at least I think it's a chap ... could also be a lady, if you've seen this person, you'll know why I am confused.