Ways in which men are superior..

Degsy · 18-04-2007 07:30PM #1

okay so women change nappies and make sure bills get paid on time..but,i ask you,how many women can do these simple tasks..?
Parallel Park
Opening Jars
Putting Up shelves (next week allright..stop bloody nagging)
Sit for hours in a shed
Push start a car
Remove a spider from the bathtub
Start a lawnmower
etc
If the brethern can think of any other gender-specific tasks i'd be pleased to hear of them!

Jesus Wept · 18-04-2007 07:39PM

Fix things using bits from an old meccano set

a speciality of my Dad

brianthebard · 18-04-2007 09:54PM

Its an obvious one, but we can pee standing up without dribbling on our kacks. Most of the time.

Icequeen · 18-04-2007 10:01PM

brianthebard wrote:

Its an obvious one, but we can pee standing up without dribbling on our kacks. Most of the time.

We can get it in the bowl!

Mr. Presentable · 18-04-2007 10:06PM

Left from Right.

There, I said it. We will now all pay........

Mr. Presentable · 18-04-2007 10:07PM

Connect a USB device other than in the ethernet socket

youcancallmeal · 18-04-2007 11:08PM

nipplenuts wrote:

Connect a USB device other than in the ethernet socket

So true

smashey · 18-04-2007 11:10PM

Shave, sh1t, shower, dry, get dressed and out the door in twenty minutes.

The Hill Billy · 19-04-2007 07:50AM

smashey wrote:

Shave, sh1t, shower, dry, get dressed and out the door in twenty minutes.

Hark at you Brother Smashey! Going all lah-dee-dah with your so-called "shaving" & "showering"!

Whatever happened to the days when men got out of bed, stretched, yawned, scratched their balls & then walked straight out the door, pausing only to pee on the neighbours roses?

John Mason · 19-04-2007 07:51AM

smashey wrote:

Shave, sh1t, shower, dry, get dressed and out the door in twenty minutes.

i can do it in 10 mins.

Karl Hungus · 19-04-2007 07:56AM

irishbird wrote:

i can do it in 10 mins.

If you can, video tape it, and youtube it. Untill I see that, I call thee liar!

Karl Hungus · 19-04-2007 08:01AM

Oh, and more on the topic of Men > Women...

How many of these people are women? Eh? Not very many I can say with some sense of great certainty. Miniscule infact!

Gentlemen... I rest on your face.

John Mason · 19-04-2007 08:43AM

Karl Hungus wrote:

Oh, and more on the topic of Men > Women...

How many of these people are women? Eh? Not very many I can say with some sense of great certainty. Miniscule infact!

Gentlemen... I rest on your face.

thats cos we are too busy changing nappies, paying bills, putting up shelves, fixing the showers, taking the bins out, we havent got time to be sitting pondering about inventions:rolleyes:

The Hill Billy · 19-04-2007 09:31AM

irishbird wrote:

we havent got time to be sitting pondering about inventions:rolleyes:

Exactly - You have no balls to scratch during contemplation of the wonders of the universe. Hence, the only meaningful tasks available to you are:

irishbird wrote:

changing nappies, paying bills, putting up shelves, fixing the showers, taking the bins out

Not forgetting, cooking, trips to beer fridge, etc.

* pats ar$e condescendingly & winks *

smashey · 19-04-2007 09:31AM

Hill Billy wrote:

Hark at you Brother Smashey! Going all lah-dee-dah with your so-called "shaving" & "showering"!

Whatever happened to the days when men got out of bed, stretched, yawned, scratched their balls & then walked straight out the door, pausing only to pee on the neighbours roses?

It was my wedding day.

matt-dublin · 19-04-2007 09:31AM

low and behold,
women may be able to multitask...

but we can piss standing up!

Sleepy · 19-04-2007 09:45AM

The abilities to:

make friends with someone who wears the same suit/clothes to a wedding/party as we do.

understand that what a man says is usually exactly what he means and not some roundabout way of telling us we're fat.

order pints without fear of being 'unladylike' or it being fattening.

get by in life with one pair of shoes and one pair of trainers (and possibly a pair of slippers).

pack for a fortnight's holiday using a single hold-all that's under our carry-on weight allowance.

drink without feeling the need to cry about our pet canary that died twenty years ago.

live with the fact we're Irish and naturally have pale skin.

duckmusic · 19-04-2007 09:52AM

Marge: Did you know a woman invented the window wipers ?

Homer: Yeah, that sure does go well with mans invention, THE CAR

petes · 19-04-2007 09:57AM

smashey wrote:

Shave, sh1t, shower, dry, get dressed and out the door in twenty minutes.

Ah yes the three s's.

Celticfire · 19-04-2007 10:04AM

smashey wrote:

Shave, sh1t, shower, dry, get dressed and out the door in twenty minutes.

You could squeeze in a quick "pedal and crank " as well.

petes · 19-04-2007 10:07AM

Sleepy wrote:

The abilities to:

make friends with someone who wears the same suit/clothes to a wedding/party as we do.

I was at a party and some bloke had the same jumper as me. We though it was great craic. If that was a woman she would have left.

Degsy · 19-04-2007 10:17AM

Men can also get away with sporting the same haircut for years,or in some cases,decades.

Slow Motion · 19-04-2007 10:22AM

Not to mention we can read a map and have a telephone conversation that lasts under ten seconds E.G.
Me "Beer ?"
Mate "Cool see you in ten"
Hang up

OLDYELLAR · 19-04-2007 10:59AM

Dipping of teh captain fantastic in a big bowl of yoghurt.

Rubbing of teh captain fantastic against folks on an Imp bus.

Dipping of teh captain fantastic in a pot of rolo yoghurt......this differs to normal yoghurt as us women love to be given the last rolo.

Degsy · 19-04-2007 11:13AM

OLDYELLAR wrote:

Dipping of teh captain fantastic in a big bowl of yoghurt.

Rubbing of teh captain fantastic against folks on an Imp bus.

Dipping of teh captain fantastic in a pot of rolo yoghurt......this differs to normal yoghurt as us women love to be given the last rolo.

What?:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

petes · 19-04-2007 11:33AM

Degsy wrote:

What?:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

My sentiments exactly

CerebralCortex · 19-04-2007 11:42AM

irishbird wrote:

thats cos we are too busy changing nappies, paying bills, putting up shelves, fixing the showers, taking the bins out, we havent got time to be sitting pondering about inventions:rolleyes:

Thats actually it. I read in the Irish Independant a month ago about an article a few months ago that men do 15% of the house work in a relationship and thats why women don't/can't get on with their careers - gender inequality in the home. Shame on us!

Degsy · 19-04-2007 11:55AM

CerebralCortex wrote:

Thats actually it. I read in the Irish Independant a month ago about an article a few months ago that men do 15% of the house work in a relationship and thats why women don't/can't get on with their careers - gender inequality in the home. Shame on us!

Or that old chesnut that women get paid on average 15% less than men..looks terrible doesnt it..untill you see that on average women spend 15% less time in work than we do..having babies,PMT,days at the beauticians,arriving late because they drove the car into the central reservation putting make up on in the rear view mirror etc etc

Icequeen · 19-04-2007 12:05PM

And for all these "superiorities" we can still make you grovel like dogs just by dressing as a schoolgirl

The Hill Billy · 19-04-2007 12:10PM

Icequeen wrote:

And for all these "superiorities" we can still make you grovel like dogs just by dressing as a schoolgirl

Especially if you are a schoolgirl.

* Pats Icequeen condesceningly on ar$e & winks *

dr.bollocko · 19-04-2007 12:15PM

We have the ability to occasionally, just ****ing occasionally actually answer our goddamn mobile motherbleeping phone.

Ways in which men are superior..

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